I really enjoy the raw honesty and natural beauty in {Pauly}’s self portraits on flickr. It takes a certain amount of bravery to be open and real in front of the entire Internet, let alone to do so every day for a year. When this photo landed in the FGG Girls flickr pool, I kept returning to it. I think there’s a vulnerability and openness there that we can all relate to – and that perhaps we wish we could reveal more often ourselves.
Are you the fat girl who’s quick to crack a joke or make a self-deprecating remark before someone else zings you first? Are you “large and in charge” in order to avoid being perceived as lazy or weak, when inside what you really want is to let someone else take the reins once in a while? Perhaps you’re the type to hide or turn your head when someone points a camera lens your way? Maybe none those issues affect you, but you’d still like to explore ways in which you can be soft and real while still feeling safe. In the bathroom mirror, or with a trusted friend (how about in a bathroom mirror with a really trusted friend), or perhaps in a series of self portraits, like one FGG Girls flickr group member who is doing a series of weekly self portraits as a way of getting reacquainted with herself.
When, why, and how do you allow yourself to feel vulnerable or to be your true self? Tell us in the comments section, and if you decide to edge out of your protective zone – even if just a little bit – in this regard, come back and let us know!
My friends, today is World Nutella Day. A day all about decadence. Decadence and Nutella, that wonderful hazelnut spread that makes people all over the world* swoon in delight. Perfectly nutty and chocolatey, I can eat the stuff straight from a spoon. I try not to though (okay, not much) and, instead, channel my Nutella love into something at least a bit more nutritionally responsible. A teeny, tiny bit.
These Nutella oatmeal thins are a nice balance of yummy decadence and portion control. They’re light and thin, so they don’t pack a gazillion calories in each bite; but they’re also wonderfully rich with just the right combination of chewy and crispy, so I know I’m indulging in something great!
The cookies are easy to pull together, but do require just a little bit of patience. They’re quite soft fresh out of the oven and need to cool on the baking sheet for 10 or so minutes to firm up before being removed to a wire rack to cool completely. Using multiple pans will definitely make your life easier (and get you to the finished product more quickly)! Store the finished cookies in an airtight container and they’ll be great for several days after you bake them. Want to take it to a whole other level? Pair them up with some vanilla ice cream!
*I’ve heard rumors that there are people among us who’ve never had Nutella and, therefore, don’t understand its joy. If you are one of those people, I beg you…try it! Can’t find it? Don’t want to indulge in processed foods? Make your own! Come on over to Culinography later today for a great recipe!
Nutella Oatmeal Thins (recipe courtesy of Baking Bites)
1 cup plus 2 tbsp all purpose flour
1 tbsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup butter, room temperature
6 tbsp Nutella
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup quick-cooking oats (not instant or regular)
Preheat oven to 350F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a large bowl, cream together butter, Nutella and the sugars until mixture is fluffy. Beat in the egg and the egg yolk, followed by the vanilla extract.
Working at a low speed or by hand, gradually blend in the flour mixture and the oats (if you don’t have quick-cooking, pulse whole rolled oats in the food processor to chop them up a bit). Drop teaspoonfuls of the batter (1/2-inch balls) onto prepared baking sheet, leaving at least 2-inches between cookies to allow for spread. Bake for 10 minutes, until cookies are set.
Cool on baking sheet for 10 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container.
Valentine’s Day is a big deal for a lot of people. Some of you out there started panicking on Monday because there were only two short weeks until the big day. And you’re in a new relationship! And what do you do without making it a big Valentiney deal!?
I’m here to tell you one thing: bold acts of romance inspired by the pressure of the day will not be your friend. This goes double if there isn’t a precedent for the great big thing you’ve thought up.
There are a few classic pitfalls we often fall into in the excitement of new relationships, regardless of whether or not it’s Valentine’s Day – a high-pressure holiday just makes them that much more tempting. Don’t freak out! Get smart and enjoy the day with your new lover in a comfortable, low-pressure environment that will let you relax and be your charming, beautiful self.
Pitfall #1 — The Fancy Dinner
You don’t need reservations for a $200-a-plate candlelit feast. Instead, you’re gonna take the day off work, get out your cookbooks, and put all your new love-energy into whipping up a five-course meal that no restaurant could top. Who needs French chefs when you’ve got l’amour, right? No, wrong. Very, very wrong.
This situation begs for dishes to fail, for you to be exhausted and frazzled, and for the evening to be a whole lot of pressure and very little fun. A better idea? Make something you know you can ace with your eyes closed, like grandma’s famous lasagna, and invite him over for a taste of get-to-know-you. Tell him he can bring the wine. The food is satisfying, you’re relaxed, the kitchen isn’t a wreck, and you get to be the cool girlfriend who didn’t make some weird Valentine’s dinner with heart-shaped toast points smeared with foie gras.
Pitfall #2 — The Fascinating Conversationalist
What will you talk about? It’s way too early to sit there together and play the “No, I love YOU more” game. And it’s a really bad night to pick to have one of those where-is-this-going or “next level” conversations. Maybe you’re planning on spending the next week researching the things he likes so that you can be a super interesting person to talk to. Oh, the fun you’ll have throwing around hockey stats or your matching opinions on political referendums!
Don’t. If you’re not actually into it, it’s going to be obvious, and worse, you’ll only know enough for a conversation or two and then what? If his interest in you grows based on what he thinks you share as interests, you’re setting yourself up for failure later (or exhausting, after months of trying to pretend).
You’d be better off spending that research time learning just enough about him to ask him some really interesting questions. We all like to talk about the things we enjoy, and I’ve yet to meet a man who wasn’t interested in teaching me about his passions when he can tell I’m seriously interested. Not only will you get to learn about the way his mind works and what he likes, but you may stumble on something you two really do share and can enjoy together.
Pitfall #3 — The Sex Appeal
I like lingerie, and I love to buy it and wear it just for me. If someone else gets to enjoy it, too? That’s just a bonus. While sexy, lacey things on romantic evenings is always a tempting option, the pressure of big dates or the first time you plan to sleep together can make it hard to resist. But do resist. It’s unnecessary, and creates false pressure for what the evening should be about, even if sex will be a part of it.
The same goes for exciting new adventures in bikini waxing and studying up on sexual positions that make you glad you made that New Year’s resolution about going back to yoga. If you haven’t slept together, prancing out in a hot pink satin negligee with a copy of Kama Sutra is quite the opening salvo. How will you top that? It’s all downhill from there.
Go with your gut here, but if you’re not sure what to do or are only doing something because it’s Valentine’s Day, forget spending energy on something just to impress your new guy (or girl). Instead, just do something for yourself. A new pair of cotton panties with a punchy print and matching bra, for example, will make you happy and comfy (and relaxed, and sassy, both of which your new lover is likely to notice and appreciate). The better you feel, the more fun everyone will have, and that’s what your day, and night, should ultimately be about.
Best wishes for a happy, stress-free Valentine’s Day, no matter how you spend it!
Thank you for your site – I’m really struggling to accept myself, and my family is all thin which makes me feel judged all the time. Do you perhaps know of a weight rehab place I could go to to help me lose the unwanted pounds? I just know I cannot do it alone”
Going it alone when you’re trying to lose weight is tough (we know, we’ve tried). But I actually don’t recommend weight camps or rehabs because most of those give you situations and tools that aren’t available in everyday life — like being secluded to focus only on weight loss, planning your diet for you, giving you access to 24/7 exercising. Those things will help anyone shed pounds in the short term, but because it doesn’t fit into our real everyday lives, that won’t last and you may (like most do) end up gaining it all back quickly and then some once you’ve graduated.
Instead, I’d recommend hooking up with some local people who also want to lose some weight and forming a small group. Both Toni and I have had GREAT success with this approach recently! I highlighted it in a recent post here.
You might even be able to get a personal trainer to sponsor you and/or your group with free nutritional and fitness lessons. Just be sure that anything you do to lose it is something that’s also available to you to KEEP doing/using/relying on after you’re done with the initial loss.
Your turn, readers. What tips do you have on ways to stick with healthy lifestyle changes long term?
FGG Girls’ Flick group newcomer CurvyAmazon gets bold and playful with some hot pink for an 80’s themed birthday party – demonstrating that theme parties can be a great way to experiment with fun, attention-getting outfits you probably wouldn’t be caught wearing in public any other time. It’s as though just the idea of a party gives us permission to be sexy, free-spirited beings, vs. feeling like we ought to cover up and spare ourselves and everyone else the sight of our curves.
While we’d love to get the whole plus-size community out from under that presumption, if a theme party is what it takes right now to have some fun with fashion, go for it! And if you can’t find one to hit with your bad, newly liberated self…why not throw one? Valentine’s Day is just around the corner; invite your 50 closest friends and require that everybody wear red. Then get creative!
Thanks to everyone who submitted photos this month! Our group is growing and we love seeing your faces over there. If you haven’t joined already, get on over there.
And thanks to everyone who’s participated in our photo challenges each month since we launched last summer. We’ll continue to do a Photo of the Week each Monday beginning this week (vs. Sunday), but we’ll no longer be choosing one monthly “winner” from those. We love all the photos you’re adding to our Flickr group, so keep ‘em coming!
One of my “resolutions” for 2010 has been to get re-focused on finding/developing great dinner recipes that don’t take a lot of time to put together. There’s nothing better than a really great meal on an otherwise “regular” day, but most weekdays we find it really difficult to come home and spend an hour and a half in the kitchen cooking dinner. Too late, too tired, too hungry… if there’s not something easy in the queue, it’s highly likely we’re going to skip cooking and go straight to take out or pizza.
A recent favorite is a more sophisticated take on tacos — Cumin-Crusted Pork Soft Tacos, a take on a recipe from FGG’s beloved magazine, Cooking Light. These beauties satisfy any craving for Mexican food, and I love the freshness of the corn-tomato salsa (which you can easily assemble while the pork cooks). Sometimes we eat them with black beans and rice, others we just have tacos with a side of margaritas; but no matter what you decide to accompany them with, they’re pretty amazing for something that comes together in about 20 minutes.
Cumin-Crusted Pork Soft Tacos (adapted from Cooking Light)
Pork:
2.5 teaspoons ground cumin
1.5 teaspoons smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 pound pork tenderloin, trimmed and cut in half crosswise into two, 1/2 pound pieces
1 tablespoon olive oil
Salsa:
1/2 cup frozen whole-kernel corn, thawed
12 grape tomatoes, quartered
2 tablespoons red onion, diced
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
Chipotle Sour Cream:
1/4 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon canned chipotle chile in adobo sauce, minced
8 (6-inch) corn tortillas
To prepare pork, combine first 4 ingredients. Rub cumin mixture over pork. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork; cook 4 minutes or until browned on all sides. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook 15 minutes until a thermometer registers 155°. Remove pork from heat; let stand 5 minutes. Cut pork across grain into thin slices.
To prepare salsa, combine corn and next 3 ingredients in a small bowl and set aside.
To prepare chipotle sour cream, combine sour cream and chipotle.
Wrap tortillas, 4 at a time, in a damp paper towel. Microwave on high 20 seconds. Place about 1 ounce pork onto each tortilla. Top with 2 tablespoons salsa and a dollop of sour cream. Fold in half.
Music and dance are universal among every human culture, and some of the most memorable moments in our lives and in our favorite movies involve dance. (Scent of a Woman, anyone? Or perhaps you’re a Singing in the Rain kind of girl). Like music and singing, there’s just something that connects us when we see the human body move, either in time with other bodies or with grace or fiery intensity on its own. While the dance community isn’t quite renowned for body acceptance (yet), times are changing and new forms of dance are evolving along with them, in the arts (check out The Big Ballet), fitness (or do you prefer Vixen Fitness?) and just for fun (Heard of hooping? Read on to learn more). Maybe you’ve always wanted to dance but never took the time. Perhaps you’re shy about putting yourself out there, or worried about any physical limitations due to your size or what shape you’re in (or aren’t). Girls, this is the guide for you.
What will people think of a fat girl dancing?
You know what we’re going to say to this one, right? Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Sure, we make it sound easy to just get out there and shake what your mama gave you when in reality, it isn’t. It’s scary wondering if we’ll be the biggest girl in the room, or unable to move with the rest of the class because we’re novices. We’re all frightened of people mocking or questioning us–it’s human nature.
But taking chances on our own behalf is invigorating, and the more often we nudge our toes past our carefully padded comfort zones, the easier it becomes over time. “We women need to have as much joy in our lives as possible,” says Jennifer Rice, a former competitive swing dancer, curvy girl, and founder of TailspinHoops.com, a site dedicated to “hooping,” a relatively new dance form using – you guessed it – hula hoops. “With all of the obligations we have these days, we need to get back to doing the things that fuel us emotionally and spiritually,” she adds. “If you really want to learn how to dance, denying yourself the joy you’ll feel and that you know in your heart you were meant to experience is to deny one of the reasons you were put on this earth.”
What type of dance should I choose, and are there any forms I should avoid?
“There are two ways to approach this,” says Rochelle Rice (no relation to Jennifer), author of Real Fitness for Real Women and a fitness and dance instructor for plus size women. “Either try a few things to see what feels right for your body and abilities, or try some of the curvier dance classes, like African, Bollywood, or belly dancing. In Bollywood especially, the movement is slow and centered on the pelvis and the arms, providing a nice way to connect with the body.”
Either way, go for something you think you’ll have fun doing or that you’ve wanted to try for a while. “The best dance styles are the ones that fit your personality and your body,” says Vanessa Isaac, a dance and fitness instructor who created the popular Brazilian Dance Workout. Isaac’s favorites for beginners include: ballroom, belly dancing, modern, salsa, Brazilian, samba (and Latin dance in general), and Nia.
As far as styles to avoid, “hip hop can be hard on the joints, especially if you have an instructor who teaches dance combinations with a lot of level changes (like quickly popping up from a squatting position),” says Jennifer Rice. “Lindy hop, a form of swing dancing, can be tough on the knees for a larger girl because there’s a lot of swiveling involved.” That’s not to say you shouldn’t try these dance forms, but if you aren’t limber in certain areas or have knee or other joint issues, talk with your instructor first and ask about modifying certain moves.
Where should I take lessons, and what should I look for in an instructor or class?
If you’re just starting out, look for beginner level classes – local park districts, recreation centers, and community colleges usually offer beginner level courses that allow students to get a feel for a particular style. Always research what the class is about and the background of the instructor–credentials, how long he or she has been teaching, etc. “The best teachers are the ones with good fitness experience and education, are members of national associations, and are professional dancers themselves,” says Isaac. Talk with students to get a sense of either the style you’re interested in or a specific instructor or studio. If there’s a feeling of community and support in a class, that’s a good sign, says Isaac.
“Make sure to have an open dialogue with your instructor so he or she knows your individual needs,” says Rochelle Rice. “Even if they have limited experience with plus size students, if they’re good, they should be able to figure it out from an anatomical perspective and make modifications you can do instead.” So don’t be afraid to speak up in your favor if you’re unsure about any aspect of a class. “Remember that the right class for you exists and you’ll feel at home when you enter the room,” says Isaac. “It may be uncomfortable at first, but the energy of the people and the instructor will make you feel welcome.” Instructors should be responsive and attentive; if they’re more into themselves than you, or don’t seem receptive to having overweight students, move on and keep looking.
How should I dress?
“First and foremost, get a supportive bra like an Enell or a sports bra,” says Rochelle Rice. “This protects the breasts and makes it easier to move while doing turns and other moves.” Rice often sees women overdress for dance classes, which leaves them feeling overheated and flustered instead of focused on the movements. “Leave the sweatpants at home,” she says. A breathable v-neck tee and leggings that aren’t too thick are great for starters. Call ahead to ask what you should wear, since every type of dance will have its own attendant gear, from tap shoes to ballroom dance shoes with smooth soles that allow dancers to glide across the floor.
Are you ready to try this, girls? Please come back and tell us about it if you do. And remember, “It’s not just about getting out there and doing something new, it’s about holding your head high and owning it,” says Jennifer Rice.
That’s the FGG spirit. If that’s not enough inspiration for you, here’s a glimpse of how much fun it can be to get up, get out there, and dance, courtesy of Jennifer Rice:
"I think you've created something the Internet and girls of all sizes really need."
- Chris in Sarasota, FL
"Seriously, I love it. A lot."
- Wendy in Las Vegas, NV
"I've surfed my share of weight-obsessed sites. I don't go back. I'd come back to FGG...even if you won't catch me in a kayak anytime soon. :)"
- Michelle in Rogers, AR
"So glad you two are doing this. The Internet has long been lacking a site like this."
- Jen in Corvallis, OR
