The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

We tend to make lots of assumptions about our attractiveness as “fat girls.” We’re sure that nobody wants to see “more skin” from us, that people cringe at the idea of seeing an overweight woman in any stage of undress. Bedroom and bathroom mirrors are for quick glances (“Is there anything in my teeth? Otherwise, I don’t want to know!”) or long, obsessive stares at everything we find fault with. Candid photos of ourselves evoke faces akin to a four-year-old’s first go at steamed broccoli – and that’s assuming we let anyone take them at all. For a long time I didn’t.

But all good neurosis and fears must come to an end, and my turn to let go was last fall, after a difficult bump in my relationship, when I began a daring experiment with self-portraiture that forever changed how I saw myself.

The power of a self-portrait is in its context (seeing ourselves as others see us, against the backdrop of our everyday lives). The power of a sexy self-portrait is in the light it shines on parts of us we otherwise willfully ignore.

Are you kidding? I AM NOT SEXY.

Oh yes you are. The nature of the human form is sexy at any size. We all have details – delicious, surprising details – some of which are unique to us alone, and some that speak powerfully to the universal beauty of the female body. The key is to know how to dig those out from under your assumptions and shine a light on them.

A few ideas on getting there:

Equipment
Beautiful self-portraits can come from just about any camera – from mobile phones to Polaroids to pocket point-and-shoots to expensive SLRs. A sharp lens, a nice depth of field and some manual controls are nice, but all you really need is a camera with a remote shutter release or a self-timer.

Environment
A familiar, comfortable, private environment (like a bedroom or bathroom) can make you feel at ease enough to open up and experiment with self-portraits. Make sure there’s a good light source, preferably natural light, but not too overpowering. Fluorescent and incandescent light can make photos come out grainy or discolored.

Once you’ve done a few in a familiar environment, move on to other rooms or locations that are less comforting and enjoy the extra bold charge that comes with being vulnerable in a new space. Trust me on this. That excitement will show up in your images.

NO FLASH
A bad flash job can make even the most gorgeous women look horrific. Unless you’re a pro with a light box and other equipment, disable the flash. This alone will make a tremendous difference in the quality of your photographs. Instead, add some natural or spot lighting to a dim room and let your camera’s automatic sensors set the exposure. If you’ve got a manual camera, create moody shots by experimenting with shutter speed and aperture. Just make sure you’ve got the camera on a tripod or other steady surface.

Light and color
Position yourself in areas of the room where soft, diffused light is collecting (softens the look of skin), or where rays are filtering through blinds (creates a dramatic, warm effect). Try playing with photographs of your shadow on walls, or in silhouette against a bright window. Nice afternoon light casting across a floor is a perfect invitation to spread out on the floor and bathe in it. Cool morning light by a window can bring out the saturated color of your eyes and clothes.

Bright, bold colors (in clothes, accessories, props or backgrounds) in good light can instantly create a spicy, sassy, confident self-portrait. Go naked with a lone, colorful scarf or glittery bold eyeshadow! Or cover up the naughty bits with hot pink underwear and a polka-dot bra.

Alternatively, black and white portraits can bring out a stark depth that color often misses, and adds a classic, sophisticated feel to self-portraits.

Details
Under those baggy shirts and long, shapeless pants, every one of us has a unique, undulating shape, and a collection of yummy, irresistible details to be uncovered — whether it’s the way your plump rear end curves to meet the back of your thigh, the soft corner of your shoulders, the angle of a bent knee or the freckle right… there.

Focus your camera on the puzzle pieces that fit together into who you are. Tease with a series of portraits that slowly reveal you. Suggest a scene indirectly, make them guess, and want more!

Unconventional clothes or accessories
Forget the typical, been-there-done-that nature of boudoir lingerie shots. Self-portraits are meant to be fun and surprising. Pick out a scarf and tie it around your breasts for a delicate, unexpected tease. Wrap up in a bed sheet and let the curve of your body show through. Put on a pair of ridiculous shoes – and nothing else. Wear a chef’s apron or a tailored jacket with a revealing peek. Throw on your boyfriend’s shirt and leave it unbuttoned. Putting yourself in clothes and situations you don’t normally find yourself in can do as much for your sense of sexiness as the portrait itself can.

Pick a flavor: soft or hard
When you’re done shooting, you can tweak a few things in your images to bring out even more character and visual interest. Increase contrast and saturation for a glowing, harsh, in-your-face effect. Soften the blur and brighten the photo for a softer, more dreamy look. Lightening or darkening your photo can change the mood instantly, as can adjusting color tones to warm or cool levels. Experiment with programs like Photoshop if you have it, or use free online tools like Picnik.com to edit and enhance your self-portraits.

Now use them!
Once you get the hang of it, self-portraits can not only be a daring, new way to look at ourselves, but  can also become a fun bridge in a long-distance relationship, a tantalizing gift for a lover, a unique profile portrait for a dating site or even just great photography practice on a subject we know well – but would love to know better. Heck, add them to the FGG Girls Flick group so we can fawn all over your gorgeous self! If we get enough of them, maybe we’ll put together an FGG Girls Pin-up Calendar in time for Christmas.

If you’re feeling really bold, post your new self-portraits to your high school reunion page or group ahead of the event, so when you arrive, everyone will be focused not on your weight, but on that cute freckle they know is hiding under your dress. I dare you.