FGG Survey: What’s the hardest part of living as an overweight woman?
One of the features we’d like to have at FGG is an occasional round-up of the thoughts, opinions, ideas and experiences in the greater plus-size community – from what workout bra you love most to your favorite pasta recipe to your best vacation ever to what you want for Christmas.
This weekend, for our inaugural round-up, we tapped the Twitter community for thoughts on the difficulties associated with being an overweight woman. Here’s what you had to say:
@jaggedraven It’s having my body slow me down. I’m not as strong or fast or have as much endurance as my mind and my spirit demand.
@janelle0511 having to shop at a limited amount of stores!
@shaydiggs being invisible
@PatBarone For me, it was being ignored. Many people look right through you when you’re fat, as if you don’t exist at all.
@wwlifer Having people think I’m lazy.
@hittingtheroad For me, it’s that I can’t move around gracefully. While shooting a show last Fri, I had to crawl instead of squat & wriggle.
@NaturallyMe09 finding cute, affordable swimwear.
@ZooColony Being uncomfortable in my clothes, having to shop in a different section and the size of the seats in public places.
@thecurvystylist The hardest part is the misleading messages in the media saying fat girls should feel bad about themselves/can’t enjoy life.
@NoPants_McGee Clothes! Ugly, ill fitting, poor materials, expensive and impossible to find.
@tiffy315 the hardest thing about being overweight? trying to overcome it…
@SharBoogie being able to shop for clothes that fit ur age
What about you? Let us know in comments what you feel is the hardest part for you about living as an overweight woman? Most importantly, while we’re working on improving our health, how can we help each other with the uncomfortable symptoms of being a “fat girl?”
For me? The hardest part has been reconciling who I *feel* like inside with what I look like outside. That’s been a difficult and painful process over the years, and I’ve only recently started making peace with it.
I know many women feel invisible, but my size makes me feel so conspicuous! I find myself worrying about how much space I’m taking up, how I’m moving about the room. Little by little, as I continue to practice compassion and self-acceptance, I’m able to relax and let this habit go. It’s hard, though.
I feel invisible around strangers, but I agree – around friends, family and people I know even marginally I tend to feel VERY conspicuous. After enough of that, it’s almost more of a comfort to feel invisible for awhile.
Getting in shape after years of being overweight is as much of a mental workout as it is a physical one, yes?
Feeling like I’m not the same person on the outside as I am on the inside.
Sadly, I identify with ALL of these! The thing I seem to struggle with the most though is that how I look is a direct reflection of the kind of person I am. That is, being fat somehow means that I am not a good person, even though I am. Pretty twisted, I know, and I think it’s this self hatred that tends to sabotage efforts at not eating or getting exercise or any of the other things I know I should/could be doing, but just don’t. There is just such a phenomenal sense of shame about the weight issue in our society, especially in LA where I live.
I wasn’t going to post this but what the hell….
I want to be able to shave/trim/groom my pubes without having to lift my belly to see what I am doing…. and even then I have to bend over. It is kindof like a Cirque de Soleil move without the ropes, gracefullness, flexibility and muscles. OK, so it’s not at all like that. It’s more like an elephant trying to scratch it’s ear with it’s back foot thinking “dogs can do it, why can’t I?”
Yael – I know exactly what you mean. That’s the worst part for me.
Angela – I spent time in southern California just before I started gaining weight (pregnancy), and remember feeling self-conscious even then!
Lonna – *snicker* (you and me both)
I think @jaggedraven’s remark “It’s having my body slow me down. I’m not as strong or fast or have as much endurance as my mind and my spirit demand.” hit home for me the most. I haven’t always been overweight and I *really* miss moving easily.
Lonna – pubes? What are those?
So what exactly are you trying to say, Toni?
Ugh. The damn clothes.
Affordable/less expensive clothes look just awful on me. They cling in all the wrong places. Also, if they fit my butt/thighs then the waist is way too big. And seriously, I need jeans that come to my waist, not a mere 3 inches up from my…whatevah. LoLac
I’ve tried lots of stores, and the best fits come from Chico’s and J.Jill. I pick over the sales racks and pray.
The good news is they do wash well and last a long time. Also, the colors are bright and many of the patterns are frolicky.
And y’all are killing me with the shaving convo
Accepting myself.
I feel happy in myself, as self acceptance is the key. I think if people are going to look you might aswell give them something to look at!
Great site and I am glad I found it
The hardest part of being fat for me is how much it consumes my every waking moment. I don’t wear what I want to because I feel like people will be disgusted by me, so I dress in baggy clothes. I constantly adjust my clothing to try and hide bulges so I can never just have a comfortable conversation with someone. I slouch because I think sitting up straight makes my stomach look fatter and my back aches all the time because of it. If I look in the mirror before I go out, I’ll change my plans and stay home because I’m too embarassed to go out looking the way I do. I settle when I shouldn’t because I assume I don’t deserve any better because there’s no way someone could love me the way I am. The scary thing is I’m only 20 pounds overweight. And I live in constant fear of who I’ll become if I gain another five because I hate myself so much now.
Jordan -
Your comment rings so familiar. It’s easy for those of us 50, 80, 100 pounds or more overweight to scoff at people who have 10 or 20 lbs to lose, but the fact is: the psychology of being overweight is the same for all of us. Thank you for sharing an honest look at your own self-talk. I’ve got some thoughts of my own to add in an entry coming soon.