The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

New Point of View (with the permission of Elizabeth Patch)

One of the first voices that stood out when FGG made its Twitter debut a few months ago was the encouraging and whimsical @elizabethpatch – artist, teacher, author and lover of the human form in all its myriad shapes and sizes. A browse through her web site, More to Love, and her blog, the More to Love sketchbook, cinched it: this was a woman we wanted to know!

Elizabeth’s work as an artist mirrors FGG’s core philosophy: even if we’re working on becoming healthier, we need to change the way we see ourselves, our place in the world, and what we’re capable and deserving of now. We loved her outlook and her portrayal of overweight women so much we asked her if we could dig around in her world a little bit by way of a few questions. Here’s what she had to say.

FGG: We found you through Twitter and right away fell head over heels for your  illustrations. They’re lively, colorful, whimsical and they instantly evoke feelings of pride and happiness with a full-figured body. When did begin sketching/painting the  human form? How has your work evolved since then?

EP: What a great fun surprise Twitter is, I’m so glad we connected! I’ve been drawing people all of my life, starting with copying comic book heroes and Michelangelo drawings as a kid. When I was an art student I focused on learning human anatomy, and I still love drawing from live models whenever I have the chance. As an art student I did huge, emotional charcoal drawings of nude figures, very dark and full of angst. They look nothing at all like my current style!

FGG: What materials do you use in most of your work (oils, canvas, charcoals,  sketchbooks, digital…)? How often do you produce a piece, and what do you do with most of them?

EP: All of my illustrations start out as scribbled ideas in a kid’s doodle pad (really! I’m more creative if I have cheap paper) Once I have an idea I like, I trace it onto smooth white paper. Then the clean drawing is scanned into my computer, and all of the color and detail is added digitally using a program called Painter. I love the messiness of real charcoal and paint, and I still play with them when I can, but for my illustrations I really love the flexibility of working digitally. It’s hard to  estimate the time it takes to make the raw, messy ideas as many of them are thrown out and revised quite a few times. Once I have the drawing done, the final illustrations take between 20-40 hours of painting, depending on how complex the details are. The final versions exist as digital files until printed.

FGG: How does the idea for a particular female form to paint or sketch come to you? Are they all conjured up in your imagination, or are some based on real characters in your world?

EP: I am always doodling the people I see out in public. At a concert I often spend more time looking at the audience than the stage, at the mall I’d rather people-watch than shop. So I gather ideas from real people. Occasionally, I’ll use a photo or a sketch as a reference, especially if I can’t get the pose just right, but I usually draw my characters from the memory of people I’ve seen.

FGG: You’re a teacher, you’re privy to the lives of young girls struggling with identity, body image, sense of self and how they fit into the world. Tell us about some of the memorable things you’ve seen over your career?

EP: In 20 years of teaching I have rarely met a girl who hasn’t had an issue with her weight, no matter what size she actually is. It’s beyond tragic how girls grow up believing that normal is underweight, and that one’s value is measured in the size jeans that they wear. The most memorable, and most heartbreaking, was when one of my favorite students was at normal weight as a Freshman, returned underweight as a Sophomore, become hospitalized with extreme anorexia as a Junior, “recovered” as a Senior, and then died from heart damage 6 weeks before graduation day.

FGG: As an artist with a wonderful eye for depicting full figures in a vital, positive light, I’m sure you must be attracted to other artists that have a similar ability. Can you share a few with us?

EP: Thanks! I love anyone who can really draw well.

FGG: You’ve said that you, too, struggled with body image. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

EP: I’ve written about my experiences with eating disorders on my website, in an essay called “But Elizabeth, You’re Not Fat!” But the short version is that I come from a thin, lanky family and yet still felt that I needed to be thinner to be more attractive. I fell into anorexia after a series of very stressful events in my life as a struggling single mother of two. Thankfully I was never too ill to care for my children! I really woke up to the pointlessness of wasting time and energy on being super thin when I started working with all these young girls repeating the same destructive body image attitudes that I had grown up with.

FGG: I checked out some of your previous interviews, and loved the line about how you traded in “Do I look fat in this?” to “Do I look good in this?” Tell us how those kinds of attitude shifts, along with your artistic process in painting and sketching women with realistic body types, has changed how you see yourself, and your relationship to the rest of the world?

EP: Isn’t it amazing how one word can change that entire question around? Once I began working on More to Love, which truly started out just as doodles and journal entries, I started reading every single thing I could on the topic of self esteem, body image, and fat acceptance. I began to see that my experiences, and those of my friends and family and students were not just personal, but almost universal. I wanted to share the messages I was discovering! I knew that I really couldn’t say anything new on those topics, but I might be able to say it in a new way, in a gentler, funnier, softer way. I know I can’t change the fact that most photographs of models and stars are altered to be impossibly flawless, and that fashion still insists on calling size 12 plus-size (!). I know I can’t change the fact that the cute illustrations of women on cards, magazines, even blogs are skinny girls happily shopping for shoes (nothing against shoe shopping mind you!) But I have a gift for drawing people, and a passion for healing this wound that has harmed so many women, and so without really even planning it, I’ve become an advocate for size acceptance and positive body image through my art.

FGG: Do you see any changes in recent years about attitudes toward overweight women and how they’re depicted in the media (or represented in the marketplace)?

EP: Without question, there has been a very recent shift in attitudes towards larger women. One the one extreme hand, there are groups of hateful fat-bashers that blame obesity for everything from the failing health care system to low test scores in children, but on the other hand, there are books, movies, TV shows, blogs, online magazines, stores, fashion and resources for big girls that weren’t available even five years ago. There is a growing movement for “health at every size” rather than just a narrow focus on size as an indicator of health. The plus-size (really the normal) woman is no longer as invisible as she was, even though it is still somewhat surprising to see anyone in the media that is not rail thin.

FGG: We’re big Etsy lovers here, and I would think your work would strike a chord there. Do you sell your prints on Etsy.com, or have you considered it?

EP: I love Etsy too! I’m still juggling my teaching position with my artistic life, and right now I haven’t had the time to set up and maintain a shop. Hopefully I will pair up with the right partner to help me put out a line of prints and cards, and maybe a calendar, in 2010.

FGG: You published your first illustrated book, More to Love, on Amazon earlier this year, and I understand you’re working on a second book. Can you give us a hint about it?

EP: OK, just a hint, as I’m still working out the details with a publisher. The next book will be along the same line as More to Love, short messages paired with fun illustrations, with the intention of putting a lighter touch to an often painful topic. Each page will feature a “Big Girl” who is doing everything and anything except crying. And I’m also working on an expanded version of More to Love! Because as we all know…bigger is better!

FGG: Our missions are just about identical: to encourage women to live full, exciting and satisfying lives NOW instead of waiting until they’re a magical size or weight. What would you say to FGG readers about that philosophy?

EP: Yes, yes and yes! Each of us gets our own amazing body for the duration of our life, and any moment that is spent wishing, pretending or agonizing over having a different body is time that you will never get back. It is commonly said that nobody ever says on her deathbed “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” I don’t think anybody will ever say on their deathbed “I wish I had spent more time feeling bad about my butt” or “I’m so glad I stopped myself from doing (whatever) because I thought I was too fat.” It’s your life; live it up!

FGG: OK, before you go: tell us something most people don’t know about you?

EP: Hmmm…so many secrets, so little time! Even though nobody ever sees it except my husband, and despite having a “mommy belly,” I have a gold ring in my navel, just for fun.

Thank you, Elizabeth! Elizabeth’s illustrated book, More to Love, is available for purchase at Amazon.com.

Tuesdays have typically been quiet around here, but that’s a-changin. Beginning next week we’ll feature Ask FGG every Tuesday — wherein Toni and I will don our bright red 2x SuperGirl capes and answer your tough questions. What’s the best sports bra for large chests? How do I balance my body on a surfboard? How do I shave *down there* if I can’t even see down there?

If your question is food or cooking related, we’ll pass it on to our resident foodie, Michelle, for her input. And if your question stumps all of us, we’ll turn to the experts and interview people in the know so that we all can be, too.

So let us have it: what’s your question? Send them on over to letters@fatgirlsguidetoliving.com (worry not: all questions will be anonymous) and we’ll be back next Tuesday with our first official edition of Ask FGG.

PS: Know someone who’d love The Fat Girl’s Guide to Living? We’d love it if you’d spread the word and help us continue to build a great community! Share us on Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, or email a shout-out to your girls.

The adorable Tori steals the show in this image, but it’s the unabashed playfulness on the faces of Kate and Cecily that makes it the perfect choice for this week’s photo. As someone who’s always been uncomfortable in front of a camera, these three ladies show a girl how it’s done.

Photo Challenge
Beginning with next Sunday’s photo, we’ll be hosting a contest each month for winners of our weekly photos. We’ll post our weekly photo challenge, and if you accept, you’ll add your photo to our FGG Girls Flickr group. Each week, Toni and I will select a photo-of-the-week, and then at the end of each month we’ll draw a prize winner of those. Next week’s prize: an awesome book thong of your choice from Lonna’s Book Bangles (an Etsy shop).

This week’s challenge:

Summer’s End

Post a photo of yourself, taken by you or someone else, enjoying the last vestiges of summer before the cooler weather arrives. Water sports, cookouts, lounging in the sun, al fresco dinners…you name it! If it involves you, fun and the last days of warm weather, it qualifies.

Ready? Upload it here. We’ll pick next week’s winner at 9am PST Sunday, Oct 4.

Simplicity. Highly underrated in today’s fast-paced, multi-tasking, always-on-the-go world. Sometimes there’s just nothing better than slowing down for a minute and focusing on the simple things in life — a beautiful sunset, a good book, sharing a hug with someone you love, good food.

Good food doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to involve a list of ingredients a mile long. In fact, it’s often as simple as pairing up a couple of good ingredients with a little love and… voila… simple, flavorful, wonderful food. That’s certainly the case when you bring together scallops and bacon — the perfect combination of textures and flavors.

These are great as appetizers, but you can also pair them with pasta for a meal that feels really decadent. Either way… simplicity… it really is all it’s cracked up to be.

Bacon-Wrapped Scallops
12 large sea scallops, trimmed
12 slices thick-cut bacon
salt and pepper

Wash and pat dry scallops. Par cook the bacon (in the oven, in a skillet or in the microwave) until about halfway cooked, but before the edges begin to crisp. Drain on paper towels and allow to cool slightly.

Set oven to preheat to 400 degrees F. Line a cookie sheet with foil and top with a wire cooling rack that fits just inside the pan (you can also use a broiler pan).

Wrap one bacon slice around each scallop and secure with a toothpick. Place wrapped scallops on cookie sheet or broiler pan, exposed side up and season with salt and pepper. Bake for 10-12 minutes – turning once – until scallops are opaque and bacon is crispy.

Yield: 12 appetizers or 4 servings

Looking for more great recipes? Visit my blog at
http://culinography.wordpress.com

Torrid’s Faux Suede Ashley Boot

Autumn brings more than vibrant leaves and crisp air – it also brings catalogs featuring adorable skirt-and-boots combos that make my debit card tremble with anticipation. One time, I fell hard for these dreamy, black pleather boots with a platform heel. This was two kids and about 40 pounds ago, and even then I couldn’t get them to zip around my muscular calves. I went up a size, then another, then another, convinced one simply had to fit. When I found myself staring down at a pair of size 13s that made me look like a kid playing dress-up, I gave up. I haven’t shopped for fashionable boots since.

Times have changed, however. I asked Kathy Koziatek, who heads up the “Size and Width” category at Zappos.com, to answer some questions that will help girls like me (and you) find some cute boots that fit.

Are there any companies making boots specifically for plus size women, or women with larger calves regardless of their size?

There are definitely companies making boots for women with larger calves or as we would say, the “athletic calf” or hard to fit calves. Shopping in “brick and mortar” stores these days, it is extremely hard to find boots that have an adjustable calf, wide calf, or wide-wide calf, and at Zappos we offer all of the above.

I notice Zappos has a “wide calf” option in the women’s boots section. Does this refer to the style of the boot, or was it developed specifically for the needs of women with muscular or otherwise thicker calves?

The “wide calf” option allows our customers to filter their search of our products by the attribute that is important to them.  Zappos feels that it is important to deliver terrific service and selection, so we offer hard to find items that we make easy for our customers to shop with our user-friendly search feature.

Any great surprise finds for women who need boots with a wider calf by manufacturers who aren’t necessarily targeting a plus-size market? (Example: I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Target’s rain boots actually fit my muscular calves!)

There are many leather/suede/microfiber stretch boots that aren’t necessarily targeted to plus size markets, but you would be surprised by how much “give” there is in the boots. Something else to look for is extra goring [elastic] applied to the shaft’s construction that results in a more flexible fit.

Where on the calf should customers measure to ensure the best fit?

You want to measure the circumference of your calf at the widest point to ensure the proper fit.

Any thoughts you’d like to add regarding boots for plus size women that we haven’t yet covered?

Just remember every brand fits differently, so don’t get discouraged if the first boot you try on doesn’t fit your calves. It’s OK to spend time shopping! There are some really hot brands right now like David Tate, Fitzwell, Ros Hommerson and Naturalizer.

Oh, how I wish I’d taken this advice back when I was ogling those platform boots! After researching this topic, I think it’s time to start shopping again. Tee and I had fun digging up some more great finds for girls with big calves:

Photo: Swimsuits on the Line by Ed Yourdon.

Today’s guest post is an essay by Jill Long, an artist and married mom of two who lives near Madison, Wisconsin. You can see some of her work at beaulahblue.etsy.com.

A New Voice

I wore a swimsuit today. A swimsuit. My swimsuit. One layer of clothes was removed and I stood practically bare in front of seven strangers, 5 a.m. and ready for laps. I’d removed more than clothes. I stood naked, layers and layers and layers of what removed? Shame? Something has changed in me.

I know when I started getting fat. We moved. Far away. My husband had a wonderful job that he loved, but it kept him at work until seven or eight or later every night. I had a wonderful job that I loved, but it kept me at home all day with two small kids and a pantry full of food. And I thought I had to be perfect, my kids had to be perfect, my house had to be perfect. And then I had to have another job, too, because people always asked, “What do you do?” and then they got that look on their face that said, “Oh.” Back then, when I was always alone and so young, I thought it mattered, what they thought. So I got up at six and took care of my kids all day and then stayed up until two or three trying to build an art business, slept for a few hours and then ate to keep myself awake during the day. As I started to gain weight and lose sleep, a voice in my head started to tell me some awful things.

And then, we moved and we moved and we moved. I always had plans to lose weight or exercise or make some change, but the change was always pack, or paint, or set up our lives, or dismantle our lives. It didn’t matter, because that voice, that voice that had started to tell me those awful things, had already convinced me that I had no value. It convinced me that I would never be successful at anything. It convinced me that I am not worth getting to know. It convinced me that I am dumb and ugly and uninteresting and illiterate and a million other things. It even convinced me that chocolate made me feel better than anything.

I haven’t worn shorts in seven years. I never wear short sleeves. It’s not so much because I think I look hideous; I do think I look hideous. But before today, I would never have considered subjecting others to my hideous body. I know that’s not such a crazy idea because I’ve heard what people say: why don’t they just f%cking lose weight, “fat ass” this and “fat ass” that, and a million other awful things said about fat people. Heck, I’ve probably laughed at some of them. I just happen to know why they haven’t f%cking lost weight: it isn’t always f%cking easy.

But something has changed in me: I think that voice might be a liar.

Gorgeous knit, knee socks from SockDreams.com

It seemed like last year we could toss a rock in any direction and hit an adorable photo of someone wearing knee or thigh-high socks. Three times out of four, one of those would be either jumping socks, socks stretching far up into the air, or socks accidentally-on-purpose resting cute and nonchalant against a wall.

I admit: eventually I’d seen enough and I got curious and purchased a pair for myself. One size fits all, right? Uhh, right. They now belong to my teenage daughter.

So as fall approaches, we thought it apropos to do a mini-post on our search for fun, sexy, stripey, silly, colorful, elegant and/or dreamy knee and thigh-high socks for full-figured legs (hint: we’ll be doing awesome fall boots later this week). Because we shouldn’t have to cut the circulation off to our feet just to be cute and sassy. Here’s what we found:

Torrid
Known for its sassy plus-size styles, I wasn’t at all surprised to find a fun selection of wide-calf knee socks at Torrid. Check out the neon green, the black-and-white playing card and the slouch socks. Favorites!

Just My Size
I’d love to see JMS get a little more youthful and daring, but for understated, solid-color, wide-calf knee socks, this is a nice selection.

Avenue
Available in a 6-pack of solid or textured-multi options, Avenue’s knee socks are affordable and come in a roomy XXL option.

WarmLegwear.com
These plus-size cable-knit knee socks are great for dress wear, casual wear, even under ski-boots. These + a nice fire = perfect.

SockDreams.com
One word: YUM. Delicious. Divine. Okay, that’s three. But these socks were love at first sight. I was initially disappointed that I didn’t find much on Etsy, but then saw these and all was right with the world again.

Lands’ End
For more conservative but still girlish style aplenty, check out Lands’ End’s 3-pack of knee socks available in L-XL.

Lane Bryant
Knee-high hosiery style socks for business and evening wear. Like JMS, I’d like to see LB get a little bolder with its line, but these could be paired with something daring and look great.

What about you? Do you have any favorite, fat-girl-friendly knee or thigh-high socks? Let us know! Leave us a comment or, better yet, show yours off in the FGG Girls Flickr group.