Comments on: The Fat Girl’s Guide to Handling Weight-Related Remarks from Kids http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/ {a life hacker for the full-figured set} Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:36:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Rebeca http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-17975 Rebeca Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:00:57 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-17975 Ness, I am not sure how much help this will be, but I am 28, about 220lbs, and I used to work at a preschool (up til Dec of last year, now going back to school). Needless to say I got those comments sometimes. I believe that like Cindy says it is something that you have to come to peace with first before you can brush it off effectively. My response to the comments is usually "Yea huh? People come in all different sizes, my body is just big" Then I would go on to explain how fat can be a hurtful word for people. As far as her mom making the comments, well, that is a whole different story, depending on my relationship with them I would bring it up. If I felt like I couldn't then I would just keep working away at the kid. It really is all about perception, I have had kids who love my big belly because its like their moms haha, or I had a kid who loved to grab my arms because they were "squishy and felt so good" Seriously, leave it to my 4 year olds. Every time a child makes a comment is an opportunity to broaden their mindset, and it can help you get more comfortable with yourself too. Ness, I am not sure how much help this will be, but I am 28, about 220lbs, and I used to work at a preschool (up til Dec of last year, now going back to school). Needless to say I got those comments sometimes. I believe that like Cindy says it is something that you have to come to peace with first before you can brush it off effectively. My response to the comments is usually “Yea huh? People come in all different sizes, my body is just big” Then I would go on to explain how fat can be a hurtful word for people.

As far as her mom making the comments, well, that is a whole different story, depending on my relationship with them I would bring it up. If I felt like I couldn’t then I would just keep working away at the kid.

It really is all about perception, I have had kids who love my big belly because its like their moms haha, or I had a kid who loved to grab my arms because they were “squishy and felt so good” Seriously, leave it to my 4 year olds. Every time a child makes a comment is an opportunity to broaden their mindset, and it can help you get more comfortable with yourself too.

]]> By: ness http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-11220 ness Mon, 11 Apr 2011 04:33:12 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-11220 Hello :) I noticed this was directed more at mothers but what would you say to a teen girl with the same problem? I worked my butt off (unfortunately not literally) to get into one of the best universities in the state and had to ditch the gym a lot to make time for studying and taking extra classes, etc and I ended up going from my every day fit gym self to something im honestly not proud of but wasn't that concerned about at the time, my studies were more important. But I also babysit a lot (one of my two jobs) and it really hit home the other day when a little girl I babysit told me I "looked fat" something her mom (a family friend) and my mom poke fun about too. Whereas before I could just ignore their comments for some reason this one really hit me hard. How do you recommend I deal with this? I've come to love them like family and the kids love me so i wasn't really sure where that came from but I feel uncomfortable knowing that not only is the mother criticizing me but a child who hasn't had to deal with half the crap I have is judging me based on something so petty. Hello :)
I noticed this was directed more at mothers but what would you say to a teen girl with the same problem? I worked my butt off (unfortunately not literally) to get into one of the best universities in the state and had to ditch the gym a lot to make time for studying and taking extra classes, etc and I ended up going from my every day fit gym self to something im honestly not proud of but wasn’t that concerned about at the time, my studies were more important. But I also babysit a lot (one of my two jobs) and it really hit home the other day when a little girl I babysit told me I “looked fat” something her mom (a family friend) and my mom poke fun about too. Whereas before I could just ignore their comments for some reason this one really hit me hard. How do you recommend I deal with this? I’ve come to love them like family and the kids love me so i wasn’t really sure where that came from but I feel uncomfortable knowing that not only is the mother criticizing me but a child who hasn’t had to deal with half the crap I have is judging me based on something so petty.

]]> By: Beth http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-11199 Beth Sun, 10 Apr 2011 18:26:11 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-11199 I have never really let my weight keep me from going places...only if there were real physical constraints. I have a 2 sons ages 12 and 14. I have spent a lot of time at their school especially in the past. I only had one oriental boy in kindergarden said " your fat" aside from all the possible come backs, I uttered looking him in the eyes, yes I am. No further comment. I can count on one hand the times I have heard comments by others about my weight. However, I over compensate by being extremely nice, polite and kind..I am not sure if I would be any different if I was not overweight. I am 45 and over the years I have developed several strategies and observations...there are two kinds of women out there, and yes it is always the women that are judgemental. Many women will smile at me in an effort to make me feel comfortable...I make a regular practice of looking people in the face, especially in passing. Then there are the women that are obviously looking down at you...if they are really giving me a look, I will look them right in the eyes in a challenging way, I'm saying I see you and I am not ashamed I refuse to look away...you are rude and mean and I acknowlege it and confront you sort of, after a couple of seconds they look away. They probably just think I am a fat angry and mentally ill person! It empowers me..I refuse to allow their to negatively impact me. Not to brag but I have such a good personality and am so outgoing that I win over most people they almost always seem to enjoy speaking to me or being in my prescence. In genreral though, men especially 50 and younger are kind and will smile at you or give you an approving friendly nod. I guess I refuse to to see or acknowledge rudeness...I am sure there are many disparaging comments and looks that I try hard not to notice or see. My mother was overweight and extremely obsessed with her apperance and being over weight. Consequently, I tended to be overly sensitive to others opinions and felt quite bad about myself. One day I was in my Juinor year at the University of Florida and I looked up at all of the beautiful students around me, I was older, and I thought...to heck with it. I refuse to care what they think about me...I am here to get my degree and I am not going to let anything stop me. This was a turning point in my life, around 20 I decided to put my head up and stop worrying about what people thought or were saying about me. Actually, I found most of these people were quite friendly and accepting of my weight. 10 years ago I finally made a grown up observation...don't worry about what people think of you, because most of them are not even thinking about you, they don't care and are too caught up in there own lives and problems. Try getting a teenage girl to accept and understand this. I have never really let my weight keep me from going places…only if there were real physical constraints. I have a 2 sons ages 12 and 14. I have spent a lot of time at their school especially in the past. I only had one oriental boy in kindergarden said ” your fat” aside from all the possible come backs, I uttered looking him in the eyes, yes I am. No further comment.
I can count on one hand the times I have heard comments by others about my weight. However, I over compensate by being extremely nice, polite and kind..I am not sure if I would be any different if I was not overweight.
I am 45 and over the years I have developed several strategies and observations…there are two kinds of women out there, and yes it is always the women that are judgemental. Many women will smile at me in an effort to make me feel comfortable…I make a regular practice of looking people in the face, especially in passing. Then there are the women that are obviously looking down at you…if they are really giving me a look, I will look them right in the eyes in a challenging way, I’m saying I see you and I am not ashamed I refuse to look away…you are rude and mean and I acknowlege it and confront you sort of, after a couple of seconds they look away. They probably just think I am a fat angry and mentally ill person! It empowers me..I refuse to allow their to negatively impact me.
Not to brag but I have such a good personality and am so outgoing that I win over most people they almost always seem to enjoy speaking to me or being in my prescence. In genreral though, men especially 50 and younger are kind and will smile at you or give you an approving friendly nod. I guess I refuse to to see or acknowledge rudeness…I am sure there are many disparaging comments and looks that I try hard not to notice or see. My mother was overweight and extremely obsessed with her apperance and being over weight. Consequently, I tended to be overly sensitive to others opinions and felt quite bad about myself. One day I was in my Juinor year at the University of Florida and I looked up at all of the beautiful students around me, I was older, and I thought…to heck with it. I refuse to care what they think about me…I am here to get my degree and I am not going to let anything stop me. This was a turning point in my life, around 20 I decided to put my head up and stop worrying about what people thought or were saying about me. Actually, I found most of these people were quite friendly and accepting of my weight.
10 years ago I finally made a grown up observation…don’t worry about what people think of you, because most of them are not even thinking about you, they don’t care and are too caught up in there own lives and problems. Try getting a teenage girl to accept and understand this.

]]> By: Rae http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-9037 Rae Tue, 01 Mar 2011 02:28:27 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-9037 Hehehe I remember working as a teacher and a kid said to me, "Why are you so fat?" And I replied, "I'm fat because I eat disrespectful children for lunch..." Suffice to say he stopped and word quickly spread to the class to not make fun or inquire about my weight or I'd eat them. LOL It was hilarious and the parents thought it was a wild rumor win, win all around if I do say so myself! Hehehe I remember working as a teacher and a kid said to me, “Why are you so fat?” And I replied, “I’m fat because I eat disrespectful children for lunch…” Suffice to say he stopped and word quickly spread to the class to not make fun or inquire about my weight or I’d eat them. LOL It was hilarious and the parents thought it was a wild rumor win, win all around if I do say so myself!

]]> By: Toni http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-725 Toni Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:53:30 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-725 Tee, the ONE time I've made a negative remark about my body in front of one of my sons was so telling. I sat down at the edge of my bed and said, "I hate my big belly," and my middle son's eyes grew wide and he asked, completely serious, "Why?" I actually hurt his feelings by denigrating myself and it led to a nice conversation about how Mommy should not hate any part of her self. Huge light bulb moment. Tara - Thanks for your supportive comment. Kate - I was not aware of that site till now but will definitely check it out. Comments like yours and the others in this post are what keep us even more motivated to keep putting our message that self acceptance needn't be tied to our dress size out there. Thank you! Tee, the ONE time I’ve made a negative remark about my body in front of one of my sons was so telling. I sat down at the edge of my bed and said, “I hate my big belly,” and my middle son’s eyes grew wide and he asked, completely serious, “Why?” I actually hurt his feelings by denigrating myself and it led to a nice conversation about how Mommy should not hate any part of her self. Huge light bulb moment.

Tara – Thanks for your supportive comment.

Kate – I was not aware of that site till now but will definitely check it out. Comments like yours and the others in this post are what keep us even more motivated to keep putting our message that self acceptance needn’t be tied to our dress size out there. Thank you!

]]> By: Kate http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-723 Kate Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:18:49 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-723 I'm not sure if FGGTL knows about the zine and latter the book Fat!So? but I love both and I think they have a lot in common. They both support healthy living (not size 2 living) and a positive body image. I'm so glad that we "fat people" have reclaimed the term to empower ourselves and say yeah I'm fat but I'm also beautiful and so much more. I love this blog! keep up the great work ladies! I’m not sure if FGGTL knows about the zine and latter the book Fat!So? but I love both and I think they have a lot in common. They both support healthy living (not size 2 living) and a positive body image. I’m so glad that we “fat people” have reclaimed the term to empower ourselves and say yeah I’m fat but I’m also beautiful and so much more.

I love this blog! keep up the great work ladies!

]]> By: Tara http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/2009/11/12/the-fat-girls-guide-to-handling-weight-related-remarks/comment-page-1/#comment-710 Tara Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:03:12 +0000 http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/?p=34#comment-710 Awesome. I support your honesty and courage in dealing with the situation. Awesome. I support your honesty and courage in dealing with the situation.

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