Ask FGG: “Are there any fat-girl friendly dating sites?”
A quickie guide to looking for love in all the right places
I know there are several sites out there that cater to larger women/BBWs, but do you know of any true “all-sizes” dating web sites out there that don’t exclude anyone regardless of size?”
By now most of us have heard about the publicity stunt, err, debate over Beautiful People, a dating site that not only denies members access if they don’t fit the traditional definition of beautiful (i.e., thin, among other things), but even goes so far as to kick current members off if they gain too much weight. Apparently they just did a post-holiday sweep for members who dug a little too deep into the turkey. Ouch.
For the rest of us, myriad options for online dating services exist – but finding the most fat-friendly of those takes a little peeking under the hood. We did a quick-and-dirty recon; here’s what we found:
AOL Personals
Less its own service and more an aggregate spot for other services like Match.com and e-Harmony (who we haven’t included here, because they’ve got a bad rap for being iffy to fat chicks), a quick browse through here reveals plenty of women in the 14+ size range online here, and a fair share of good-looking men with related preferences (or at the very least an openness to most body types). Membership cost/details depends on which service you end up subscribing to.
Match.com
I wouldn’t have expected it, but of all the general population sites, Match.com seemed to have the largest variety of people and body types – from fat and fabulous to frumpy and shy to sweet and svelte. And, as they say, “it’s free to look.”
Zoosk.com
Ignore the weird name, there are plenty of kindred chubby spirits in here, both men and women, to be found. A quick search of my own zip code (mid-sized metro area) yielded several pages, and most of these people looked suspiciously like you and me. Free to join.
I almost included OKCupid.com here as an option, because at first glance it was a cool idea (and completely free), but a closer look reveals a disturbing number of conversations in their forums about guys frustrated with “fat chicks” for this or that reason. My advice: steer clear.
Finally, for those of you who aren’t familiar with some of the better sites designed specifically for plus-sized singles, here’s a rundown.
More to Love
MTL seems to get high ratings among users and reviewers, and seems a little less focused on “hooking up” and more on long-term relationship starters. Includes chat rooms, message boards and anonymous email boxes. Free to join.
BBW People Meet
Fairly basic, but seems to have a large number of active members. Members can add audio and video to their profiles. Easy sign-up, free to join.
BBW Cupid
Feels a little stodgy, but seems to be a decent dating site. Multiple levels of membership, but free to join, browse, read messages and contact paying members.
BBW Romance
Another site with high user ratings, BBWR is broken down into state/regional sub-sites so members can browse far and wide or close to home. Free to join.
What about our readers? I know I’ve missed some, and that some of you have experiences with those we’ve listed to share. Let’s have it!
I’ve had great luck with OKCupid. All guys are different – just because some idiots say things on message boards doesn’t mean you can’t also find the love of your life mixed in with the rest of them! Give it a shot. I’m pretty hopeful it’ll work out with a guy I found on there over the summer.
Perfect timing! I signed up for eHarmony last week and haven’t found ANYONE interesting. I called to cancel and they extended my refund period to 14 days… I’ll be trying these sites out in the meantime. eHarmony’s not bad, but they don’t fit my “type” as far as my results go. Great post!
I can also recommend OKCupid. There’s a culture on the forums of “be a way bigger douchebag than you are in real life” – plus it’s a case where 1% of the membership is making 99% of the noise. I’ve met some great guys on there.
I’m wary of “BBW” sites because I want to meet a variety of men, not just fat men. I’m concerned that any of the men who aren’t fat are fat fetishists, and that’s a thought that doesn’t thrill me either. I want to meet a man who’s looking for an awesome girl, period, regardless of her size – and I don’t feel like I would find it on a plus-size specific site.
Ladies, thanks for setting me straight about OKCupid! Cat – good luck, let us know how it goes!
I’ve had plenty of interest from Okcupid men – but because I’m large-breasted and my tops invariably show cleavage, I got way too many perverted out-of-line emails for sex. Even though I specifically say I’m not looking for that. Only two guys from there panned out for short run. And I did get a couple emails now and then from douchebags and fat haters.
Just avoid the forums or you will leave there with your selfesteem in the gutter.
I’ve had the best luck with OkCupid, too. You can’t beat free and laid-back with an active community. Sure, there are the guys who are looking to get laid, but lots of them are looking for a relationship.
Wow! I love your blog! I’m glad you are writing an article about dating websites for us. I’m trying to write a dating guide for my bigger friends (because they are convinced that it is impossible to date as a BBW and I am convinced that this shouldn’t stop them). The hardest thing about this is finding dating websites with people who are accepting of BBWs. I tried match.com, but I cancelled a few days later. There were, like, three guys in my area who placed “BBW” in their acceptable preferences. Also, if you list your size as BBW, I feel like a lot of guys never even see your profile, because most guys aren’t going to put BBW in their search criteria when doing browsing on the site.
P.S. I am surprised by people’s responses about okCupid! I’ve been on there for, like, six months and have had, like, four e-mails. And they’ve all been from unemployed felons…
Good feedback everyone, much appreciated.
[...] few weeks back, Tee did a great job of breaking down some of the fat-friendly online dating sites, and you girls chimed in with your experiences. I’d like to continue that conversation with [...]
I tried both OK Cupid and Eharmony. I feel that its always best to post a full body pic so that the guy who arent interested can keep it moving.
Met two guys off of OK Cupid. One secretly had a GF (go figure) and the other guy had a permanent limp, didnt disclose this, and I felt some kinda way,
Also met two men off of eHarmony, and that was after three months. The men on that site are serious minded for the most part, but very shallow and not necessarily into the big girl.
Had some luck with OK Cupid.
I really kind of wish you would have used sites that arent’ about making you pay. Zoosk.. what a nice site.. until i found out i had to pay to talk to someone, screw that noise.
Could you re-do the list with sites that ACTUALLY let you talk to people? Not all of us can afford to pay $30 on several different sites… or even one site
Hi Jayde -
Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I found very little (in fact, only two) sites that were of any quality that didn’t require a fee of some kind. One of those was OKCupid.com, which I found to have some questionable guys/fat bias, but some of our readers say they’ve had luck with it so it may be worth trying.
I’ll definitely keep my eyes open, though, and post an update if I come across anything else!
I met my bf on largefriends.com, the site has all shapes and sizes and everyone is ok with that. It’s in the name so, no surprises or nasty comments from jerks. Happily together for over a year now!
I really wnt to find a fat girl for real love as well as sex.My E-mail address is coates.bobby52@ymail.com
I am older educated Black Male but very atheletic, seeking a Bi or Straight SSBBW (375lbs to 600lbs.) with extra wide HIPS -64in. to 94 in. who needs and wants a lot of sex and loving daily. Will consider a log term relationship towards mariage Know of anyone?… I prefer to be called-7862853689.
Hey w up
I had fantastic luck with OKCupid. After three weeks, a couple of interesting online conversations that included some great book recs, and one fairly standard movie date, I met my current boyfriend there. Our first anniversary is next week; I love OKCupid! Plus, they have these questions that you can answer and see what other people have answered. It’s hard to explain, they just have a fun, friendly user-interface. I never got any hatemail from fatphobics.
Great article
, and equally awesome blog 
.
I haven’t had much luck with online dating, perhaps it’s the fact that i live in Los Angles, which feels like the epicenter for fat hate in America. But even with sites like OkCupid i struggled to get any responses at all from potential dates.
I sent messages to women who were both large and small simply trying to get to know them…and rarely got any responses back. Here’s the part where you think to yourself, this guy must be one fugly dude! But the reality is, I’m not. I’m actually quite handsome, and an actual Man… I just have a little extra weight.
I wonder if it’s where i live is the issue, or okcupid…