The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

I’m a member of the “get it now” generation. The temptation of instant gratification arrived fairly early in my life, the byproduct of remote controls, drive-thru windows, and one of my personal favorites, the microwave oven. After all these years, the microwave and I still have a pretty tight relationship; it zaps comforting cups of chai and bowls of soup and reheats leftover pizza quickly and without complaint. Recently I found a new way to partner my occasional hankering for a salty snack with the convenience of microwave cooking: homemade potato chips!

Microwaved potato chips? I know what you’re thinking, because I had the same thought at first: “They’ll be soggy!” But amazingly, these chips come out crispy and flavorful, all while boasting an ingredient list only three items long: potatoes, olive oil, and salt. This means you can have homemade potato chips in ten minutes or less any time you want. Sliced to your desired thickness. Salted to your taste. Dressed up with a little shaved Parmesan. Convenience never tasted better!

Microwave Potato Chips
1 large russet potato, unpeeled, scrubbed and patted dry
1 scant teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
salt to taste

Using a sharp knife or a mandoline, thinly slice the potato to your desired thickness (1/8″ or thinner works best). Transfer to a medium bowl and toss with olive oil until completely coated.

Coat a microwave-proof plate with cooking spray and arrange potato slices in a single layer, ensuring edges do not touch. Salt as desired.

Microwave potatoes on regular power for 2.5 minutes. Turn slices and cook for another 2-4 minutes until the chips brown and crisp. Remove from microwave and transfer to a clean plate to cool and finish crisping. Repeat as necessary with remaining potato slices.

Yield: 1 big or 2 small servings

Looking for more great recipes? Visit my blog at
http://culinography.wordpress.com

This week’s Fat Girl’s Guide is the first installment of a two-part series. Part I takes you through all your cruise prep – from research to wardrobe. Next week’s Guide will be crammed with ways to make the most of your onboard experience.

A few things are certain on a cruise: Drinks will be ridiculously expensive. By Day 3, you’ll begin to recognize other passengers and to make up nicknames and stories for them (“Needs-to-Lay-Off-the-Spray-Tan Lady,” “Guy with Giant Smurf Tattoo”). If your name is “Angela,” you will be “The Girl Who Over-Packed” and you will never live it down.

You’ll notice one assumption conspicuously absent from that list of guarantees: Everyone will be thin, sporty and cover-model gorgeous.

If anyone has ever told you that fat people don’t cruise, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. The truth is, unless you’re taking a specialty voyage geared toward a particular audience (singles, families, LGBT community, under-30, BBW, etc.), your fellow travelers will represent all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and activity levels. Cruising while fat is the same as tackling any other opportunity — you just need a game plan. And maybe some Dramamine.

Determine your travel style.

The options are almost limitless when it comes to voyage length, destination, ship amenities and formality level, so a savvy girl and her traveling companion(s) need to set a few basic priorities before booking. Will you spend most of your time on the ship, or do you plan to see the sights at each port? What amenities are the most important to you? Fabulous spa? Tons of pools? Luxurious bedding? Unique on-board activities like bowling or a climbing wall? Do you want lots of kid-friendly activities or a more relaxed, adult pace? Lengthier cruises tend to attract more seasoned travelers and retirees, while voyages during school breaks will be loaded with kids. Compile a list of must-haves (spa!), negotiables (bedding), and deal-breakers (tons of kids if you’re looking for a singles experience) and see if you can find a cruise line and voyage that meets your needs.

Your dining experience requires more planning than you think.

We know fat girls sometimes feel more confident in casual wear vs. formal (or vice versa), so it’s important to know your comfort level before committing to a particular ship. Do you love the idea of getting dressed up in the evening, chatting with new friends and having a set dinner time? You’ll probably be a fan of more traditional cruises, offered by many lines (Carnival is one example). Although a number of lines have begun offering flexible dinner times or a 24-hour cafeteria on some ships, the traditional cruise dinner experience matches you with a set group of dining companions at a fixed time throughout your voyage. Dress codes are more formal as well, and some may require cocktail attire.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of chatting up new people, or if you enjoy a more casual experience and a higher level of flexibility, you’re definitely a candidate for “freestyle” cruising. Employed most notably by Norwegian, but gaining traction on other lines, freestyle is just what it sounds like — freedom to choose where and when you eat, and with whom you share meals. During our nine days aboard the Norwegian Jewel, my friends and I dined in eight different restaurants at times ranging from 5:30-10:30 p.m. With the exception of the Japanese steakhouse, we never shared tables with other passengers. Shorts, jeans and tank tops are off-limits everywhere but the buffet, but basic, casual cruise wear (check with your line for their rules on casual and formal dress) was appropriate for all other restaurants.

Veteran tip: Even if you cruise freestyle, be prepared to do some on-board planning. Reservations (made up to 24 hours in advance) are usually required at non-buffet restaurants, while a few of the boutique dining options (steak house, hibachi, Asian cuisine) required a $10-$20 cover charge.

Once you’ve set your priorities, dig in to researching, purchasing and planning.

Put time and thought into planning your cruise vacation. If you’ve heard good things about a particular cruise line, or spotted a great bargain, explore every inch of the web site, including the FAQ and virtual tours of staterooms, dining rooms and amenities. Many lines will offer basic info in the sections for first-time cruisers and some sites also offer a community area to network with other passengers.

For feedback beyond the colorful marketing pictures and exciting descriptions, turn to independent web sites like Cruise Diva, which offers summaries and reviews of each cruise line’s concept, in addition to the individual ships in its fleet. Cruise Critic and CruiseMates each provide news and reviews, as well as bustling online communities that are phenomenal resources. Comb through discussion threads by cruise line or topic (Cruise Critic is even searchable), or create a user account and post your own questions. Many of the message boardies are hardcore — having traveled on a dozen or more cruises — so their insights are usually pretty helpful. You also may be surprised to see how many of the questions pertain to weight issues or fears about size.

Veteran tip: Cruise lines take care of their online communities. On a recent  NCL sailing, members of an active message board group attended an exclusive on-board party and were invited to tour the ship’s bridge and rub elbows with the captain.

Read the fine print before booking excursions.

Both the cruise line’s web site and the independent message boards provide a wealth of information regarding excursions offered at every port. Again, corporate descriptions will be glossier, while you’ll get more of the down-and-dirty scoop from fellow travelers. Whether deciding on a cruise-sponsored excursion (higher costs but more accountability to you as the customer) or seeking an independent tour guide or vendor in a port city (lower costs, smaller group sizes, more customer responsibility to vet thoroughly), be sure you understand everything about the activities. Some excursions (zip lines, ATV travel, helicopter tours, some smaller boats or kayaks) will have clearly outlined weight limits of 200 lbs, 250 lbs, 400 pounds per 2-person boat, etc. Many tours and excursions will outline the exertion level involved or provide a list of activities a participant must be able to accomplish (climbing stairs, walking a mile, walking on uneven terrain, climbing into and out of boat, etc.). Again, many travelers on message boards will have done these activities and can give you honest feedback. If you feel nervous or unsure about any portion of a description, never hesitate to contact the cruise line or the vendor.

While there are definitely some activities off-limits to larger travelers (I doubt I’ll ever be welcome on a zip line!), it’s important to realize the vast majority of the options are things most of us can do. There wasn’t a  remotely skinny person in our Caribbean travel group, yet we snorkeled, climbed catamaran ladders, swam with dolphins, hiked down to view a volcano, rode tenders out to play with stingrays, and toured an island on an 18-person bus that resembled a clown car. Be honest with yourself about your limitations, but don’t let worries over your size keep you from trying something new.

Pack a few different swimwear pieces.

The two-suit rule is a gimme; no one likes climbing into a wet swimsuit, and sardine-can staterooms don’t afford great options for ventilated drying. Aside from doubling up, however,  you may want to consider multiple styles of swimwear (like a skirted option and a one-piece, even if you’re vehemently pro-skirt) or top & bottom separates that you can mix and match, especially once you determine which excursions you’ll be taking. Dressing for a tour of Mayan ruins or a day at the beach is pretty easy, but several of the tropical excursions involve multiple components that require you to be clothed one minute (in a local restaurant, for example) and ready for swimming the next. For these swim/land hybrid excursions, don’t wear a swim dress with a built-in skirt if you hope to put a pair of shorts or pants over it for the land portion. Few things are as uncomfortable as trudging around for several hours with a soaking-wet mass of fabric balled up at your waist (the skirt part on many swim dresses takes forever to dry). I MacGuyvered this problem when I encountered it by gathering the skirt at one side with an elastic hair band, but believe me, it was not my finest hour.

Look for quick-drying, versatile, over-the-suit options, like these multipurpose shorts from Junonia, available in sizes up to 4X. We also like the selection of swim shorts and activewear from lines such as Lands End, Danskin or Faded Glory. And even if you’re not leaving the ship, remember to pack a cover-up, sarong or pair of swim shorts for the lengthy trips between your stateroom and the pool.

Veteran tip: Plan your excursion outfits to be useful regardless of activity order. Our day in St. Lucia was described chronologically as land/lunch/swim/sail, but we learned that half the groups go in reverse order to manage crowding with the tour vendors.

Supportive, broken-in shoes or sandals are a must.

Whether you plan to disembark at every port or just chill on the ship, prepare to do a good amount of walking. Cruise ships are enormous floating civilizations, and the distance you’ll cover just traveling between your room and the various locations onboard will surprise you. Additionally, some excursions may involve wet conditions, walking over varied terrain, climbing up or down stairs, etc. I’ve never been able to walk comfortably in flip-flops; they don’t stay on my feet and they provide zero support. If you’re like me, consider sandals from Chaco or Teva, which offer good tread while providing ventilation and supportive ankle straps. There’s also the Crocs option. Yes, they are as fugly as shoes come, but – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they were a godsend for the port days when our itinerary involved a sloshy catamaran ride, stops to swim and snorkel, hiking down into a volcano, and a bus tour of the island – all in a single outfit. Crocs were easy to clean when sandy or dirty, they went from wet to dry conditions without problem, and I didn’t care if I ruined or lost them.

Veteran tip: Get a rush of accomplishment by wearing a pedometer to track all those steps you’ll take during your cruise. Plus, you’ll know without a doubt you’ve earned that trip to the midnight chocoholic buffet!

Come back next Thursday for Part II — all about selecting/maximizing your stateroom, on-board accommodations and (of course) the food! In the meantime: Been cruisin’? Tell us your packing must-haves or share tips for finding a fat girl-friendly ship and excursions that excite.

Between the Seats by SC Fiasco

When Southwest Airlines booted writer/actor/filmmaker Kevin Smith from his buckled-in seat aboard an Oakland-to-Burbank flight on Saturday, Feb. 13, the question of passenger size vs. seat size was catapulted into headlines. Again. Some readers may remember that Southwest drew a lot of (positive and negative) attention in 2008 with the announcement that it would begin actively enforcing its longstanding “customers of size” guidelines on flights. Simply put, the policy states that anyone who cannot comfortably lower both armrests, or who encroaches on another passenger’s space while seated, may be asked to purchase a second seat and/or wait for a later flight with more space. United Airlines instituted a similar policy last year, and many other airlines (AirTran is one notable exception) maintain some rule regarding passenger size and seating encroachment.

With so much recent press on the topic, it’s no wonder many of us are more nervous than ever about flying. And yet, a girl has places to go, right? While the troubling lack of consistency with which the rules seem to be applied means that any one of us could find ourselves in Smith’s shoes with zero warning, we think the best defense is a good offense.

Be informed. Do your homework before booking a flight and select the airline with the pricing/policy/accommodations combo that makes you most comfortable. Locating each airline’s approach to larger passengers can be a bit tricky (search for links to “special assistance,” “travel policies,” or “services and information”) but most web sites have them listed somewhere. Sites like Seat Guru will tell you how many inches of seat width and leg room to expect on the many types of planes each airline employs. Southwest’s seats are a uniform 17” wide, while many seats on AirTran, JetBlue, and Midwest measure 18”. That one extra inch may not seem like much, but for those of us with wide hips (*raises hand*), it might mean a more comfortable flight.

Once you’ve selected an airline, know your rights as a paying customer. Familiarize yourself with the specific travel policies and have a plan for the day of travel, including how you’ll handle the situation if your size should come into question.

Be proactive. To better the odds of adjacent empty seats, book flights during off-peak travel times whenever possible (Monday afternoon through Thursday morning, or early morning/late night).  When selecting a seat, opt for a window or aisle to minimize the number of shared armrests. For whatever reason, the size debate seems to keep coming back to armrests, the distance between them, and their ability to be lowered completely and “comfortably.” So let’s work with that: board your plane as early as possible, buckle up and lower the darn armrests for the world to see. You can always ask your seatmate to raise the shared one(s) later if it makes more sense.

If you know you need a seat belt extender, ask the flight attendant when you first board the plane. S/he will usually have several in the cabinet up front or will ask for your seat assignment and bring one to you. If you don’t realize until you’re seated that an extension is in order (don’t panic — belt lengths differ from plane to plane and sometimes from seat to seat), just press the call button or ask an attendant as they pass to do a luggage check. In my experience, every flight attendant has handled the belt situation discreetly. The important thing is to be confident and assertive, approaching the request for a belt extender the same way you would if you were asking for a pillow, blanket or extra napkin. There’s no shame or worry needed here; you’re just meeting a basic need.

Be honest. If you truly know in advance that your body’s dimensions and comfort requirements are going to significantly exceed the boundaries of a 17″ or 18″ seat, do yourself a favor and buy the second seat — preferably by calling customer service and being up front about your needs. Be clear about why you’ll require two seats together and ask how that reservation will be guaranteed and handled on your date of travel. Some airlines (including Southwest) will refund the cost of the second seat if the plane does not fill, while others (like United) will waive the standard call center fee. It’s not a perfect solution, but it will ensure your comfort and safety during the flight and it minimizes the potential for unpleasant surprises once aboard the airplane.

What say you, readers? We’d love to hear your opinions, recent airline experiences or flying tips in comments. And watch for a full-length Fat Girl’s Guide to Traveling in Comfort in the coming weeks.

Image by A|ina

I’m not sure, but this may be the most adorable image in our FGG Girls Flickr group to date. But “adorable” doesn’t quite cover it: I love the sass and sensuality depicted here, the confident curves, and the bright pop of coral color. This photo is also a great example of how to craft a fun, sexy self portrait that tells a story while leaving an element of mystery: what expression is she wearing, and what lucky person gets to lick that spoon? Next time you take a self portrait (if you’ve never taken one, what are you waiting for?) find a way to incorporate some of these elements and see your curves in a new light. For inspiration, there are plenty of great examples in our FGG Girls Flickr group.

Chicago photographer and artist Alina Smith, the subject of this week’s self portrait, is a good friend and a regular FGG reader. When she’s not taking lovely self portraits, she creates fine art images for clients using film and a variety of photographic processes. As with baking cookies on a winter afternoon, there’s something uniquely satisfying about creating things by hand. Smith takes her creativity a step further by exploring media and photographic processes that are falling out of favor, as others are doing through the resurgence in popularity of Polaroid and Lomo cameras. (Check out this gorgeous collection of Polaroid photos, “For the Love of Polaroid“  by another friend and FGG reader, Bonnie Underwood).

A few years ago, I started baking cakes from scratch for my husband’s birthday, but in recent years I haven’t taken the time. I miss getting “into the zone” while working with my hands to create something I simply can’t get at the grocery store. And while it’s hardly a lost art, I’d also like to finally start a vegetable garden this year, including asparagus, garlic, tomatoes, herbs, and fresh greens using heirloom seeds where possible – just like I did with my father and he did with his mother. One of our missions here at FGG is to encourage everyone – ourselves included – to live our lives to the fullest, and that includes periodically stepping up and snatching items off that “someday” list.

I’m going to pull gardening and baking for special occasions into my here and now. What about you? As the hours of  daylight slowly lengthen and we can almost sense those first whispers of spring’s arrival, what can you uncover, create and put out there into the world using your own two hands? Share your ideas and projects in the comments section.

I love butter. Dearly. Sometimes I think if I didn’t love butter so much, I might spend a little less time wondering who shrunk my jeans. That said, any time I can find a recipe that works a little butter into the mix without turning it into a Paula Deen recipe, I’m a happy girl. Not that there’s anything wrong with an occasional butter-laden recipe with a generous side of cream, but it’s not exactly practical for everyday dining. That’s why I love creating my own herb butters and butter sauces: they strike a perfect note between abstinence and overindulgence.

You can mix any herb you like into butter with wonderful results (parsley or chives work great), but I am a huge fan of basil. You can enjoy the herb butter at room temperature (great for slathering on a piece of crusty bread or melting over a piece of meat or fish) or you can ensure a little goes a long way by melting it into a butter sauce for drizzling over meat, fish, pasta, rice, etc.

This baked salmon recipe requires minimal effort and just a handful of ingredients to produce a satisfying meal with robust flavor.  Serve the salmon on a bed of wild rice with a drizzle of leftover melted basil butter and a crisp, green salad on the side. Enjoy!

Baked Salmon with Basil Butter
(recipe courtesy of Alice Waters)
4 salmon fillets
Salt and fresh pepper
3 tablespoons of basil butter (recipe follows)
Olive oil, to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

Oil a baking dish, then prepare the salmon by seasoning it with salt and freshly-ground pepper. Place the salmon in the baking dish and brush to generously oil the fish. Bake the salmon for about 10 minutes (check it after 7-8). The flesh of the fish should feel firm, but the inside should still be slightly pink.

Place the salmon over rice, spoon the basil butter over the fillets and allow to melt.

Basil Butter
3 tablespoons unsalted butter,
1/4 cup of chopped basil
1 garlic clove, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
a pinch of cayenne pepper
fresh squeezed lemon juice (about a teaspoon)

Combine all of the ingredients in a small bowl or ramekin, making sure to mix thoroughly with a fork.

Maria, testing her “climbing legs”

A couple of weeks ago my friend and fellow Biggest Little City Losers contestant, Maria, called with a proposition. It went a little something like this:

Her: “We should go rock climbing tomorrow!”
Me: “Uhhhh…”
Her: “Come on, it would be fun!”
Me: “Uhhh…”

Turns out she had called a local rock climbing gym to see if they’d be interested in sponsoring a team challenge for the Biggest Little City Losers. Not only were they interested, they were really psyched, and they wanted Maria and I to come by for a couple of complementary climbing lessons before bringing the whole group in.

Now let me just say that I don’t typically have a fear of trying new or weird things. I’ve been hiking, biking, scrambling, kayaking and canoeing, I’ve washed my hair in icy cold Minnesota lakes and washed my clothes in humid, mosquito-infested North Carolina ones. I have moved long distances on short notice with only a vague idea of where I’d live and what I’d do. My personal blog has lived at adventurejournalist.com for almost ten years, and I catered my own wilderness wedding. You get the idea.

But I have never been rock climbing. This is not for a lack of opportunity, my husband is an avid rock and ice climber and I live in one of the most popular regions for rock climbing in the continental United States. The truth is, I haven’t been rock climbing because:

1. I am deathly afraid of heights.
2. I am especially afraid of heights in which I, overweight by a good number of pounds, am dangling from a rope with my life in the hands of one person wayyyyy down there who is using nothing more than their own body weight and a tiny device that sounds like an extinct bird, a frail bird, which may be why it’s extinct, to keep me alive.

That, and I’ve heard the shoes are uncomfortable.

But because I was the group leader, and because I’d been preaching the virtues of overcoming fears and trying difficult things, I was stuck. I would have to go rock climbing. So with no idea what to expect, we made arrangements to meet the following morning at Rocksport in Reno.

Fast forward two scary hours, and my conclusion was: rock climbing is hard. But it can be conquered – whether you’re 100 pounds or 300.

Here’s what we learned:

Climbing harnesses come in generous sizes. This was a pleasant surprise. Instead of letting them out to fit our butts and bellies, we actually had to tighten them down. Bonus ego boost! And they were pretty comfortable to wear. Another surprise. Though fair warning: those of us who like to wear long shirts to cover our abs and hips will have to suck it up – the harness, roped in, bares all.

Don’t worry if you’re a positively prolific perspirer. Lots of new climbers worry that their hands will slip off the holds if they get too sweaty, a common issue with overweight women and men. Every climber has a bag of chalk clipped to their harness, perfect for dipping sweaty hands to give them dry “tread” to grab with. Having chalky hands seemed to instill psychological confidence, too.

Tied properly, those ropes hold more than you think. I took one look at that deceptively thin rope with the tiny knot at the end and thought, no way is that thing gonna hold either of us. I wondered for several deer-in-the-headlights minutes if they had ever tested those ropes on people built like Maria and I. They assured us they’ve seen, and belayed, far bigger. So I roped in, and, as evidenced my ability to write this guide, they did hold.

The climbing is actually the easy part. It’s coming down that’s scary. Proper form coming down the wall is to completely let go of the holds and wrap your hands around the rope (a terrifying moment), forming an L-shape with your body so that you’re “sitting” on the air with your feet against the rock. Oy. The belayer, on the ground (in this case a woman of about 120 pounds), then slowly releases the rope through the extinct bird device, called a Grigri, lowering you as you walk your feet down the face of the rock.

Take advantage of ground anchoring where available. And it really should be available everywhere you climb. These are multiple loops of strong cloth or other material anchored to the ground that a belayer can clip into to stabilize themselves against the weight of the climber. If a climber should slip or let go of the wall before the belayer has the rope in proper position and coming correctly through the Grigri, he or she can easily find themselves launching up off the ground and soon face to face with a very surprised climber.

Keeping your whole body close to the rock wall is key. While most of what I learned about climbing shattered the myth that even significantly overweight women can’t or shouldn’t do it, I did learn that anyone carrying around extra weight is at a disadvantage on straight verticals solely because of center-of-gravity fluctuations. We climbed the beginner’s wall, and the slight incline was a big help for us as we learned to stick close. When we tried the vertical wall it was much more difficult to stay on, as gravity was yanking at our ample butts the whole time. Strengthening our forearms and further training to keep our bodies flush against the rock face should help, but I’m afraid pure verticals are an area most overweight folks are likely to find challenging.

The shoes really are uncomfortable. Climbing shoes are designed to make the front of your foot as tiny as possible so it can work with the smallest of holds. Your big toe faces straight forward, and, in the words of our climbing instructor, the rest of your toes should fit in there ‘somewhere.’ The first climb I asked for my real shoe size and winced the whole time. The second time around, I asked for a half size larger than I normally take – much better, and no loss of toe flexibility or agility on the rock face.

For me the most interesting part was the lack of height-related fear I expected (this from the girl who can’t look out, or even approach, a 10th floor glass window), even when I made it 3/4 of the way up the wall and looked down. It did seem like the biggest obstacle wasn’t weight or inexperience or even height, but trust: both in myself and in my belay partner. Once we mastered that, we were going up and down the wall effortlessly.

OK, maybe not effortlessly. But at least the gasping and screeching subsided after the first couple of runs.

Have you ever been climbing? Do you have any advice for our readers? Lay it on us in comments!

Note: this guide covered my own experience climbing, which can differ from gym to gym and is unique to indoor environments. I didn’t include technical instructions or equipment information because it’s important to be trained by a professional to use the unique facilities, equipment and protocol at the climbing center you’ve chosen.