The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

You’re busy. We get that. Catch up here. (Image by thewaltonsare)

Here at FGG, we understand busy lives–nurturing, working, gardening, entertaining, remodeling, traveling, healing, being. We know that everyone’s to-do lists can extend for pages, making us even more grateful for you readers who take the time to visit, read, and comment on this site. True confession time: sometimes, we mark the dozens of posts in our RSS feeds as “read,” despite the brief pain of knowing we’re missing some great stuff from our favorite sites. In that spirit, at the end of each month, we’ll be offering a roundup of what you may have missed or might want to revisit.

Here are some highlights from May:

If it’s late spring where you live, many public swimming pools and water parks opened this past weekend. Our Guide to Figure-flattering Swimwear for plus-size women should prove helpful, along with our Ask FGG entry that tackled sarongs for wider hips – and don’t forget your sweatproof (and waterproof) sunscreen when you hit the pool, girls! If you have a garden party or barbecue to attend, consider bringing these Ricotta & Cream Cheese Stuffed Strawberries – a treat as pretty as it is fresh and tasty. On the more decadent side, these Cupcake Cones make an equally pretty and unique party dessert.

If you’re stressing about attending events where you’re the only big gal there, our thought-provoking Guide to Surviving Social Situations with Skinny Friends might provide a welcome confidence boost. Other feel-fab tips can be found in our Guide to Flattering Hair Cuts for Round Faces and tips on adding sleeves or other cover-ups to sleeveless dresses – or choosing to love your arms just the way they are, per our readers’ suggestions. This month’s Sex and the Single Fat Girl column addressed conflicting feelings that can emerge when stepping out with a date who’s significantly different from you, and It’s A Guy Thing tackled the gulf between media portrayals of women and the reality of today’s plus size population.

To catch up on the rest of FGG during the month of May, check out our archives for more.

Readers, tell us: what was your favorite or most surprising topic from this past month? Coming up: FGG celebrates its first birthday! How do you think we should celebrate?

The first time my (now) husband cooked for me, it was a pretty interesting experience. I politely cleaned my plate, but I made a mental note then and there to always think carefully before accepting any future offers of a homemade meal. Luckily, a lot changes in eight years. My husband, after years of being subjected to my foodie mindset, hours upon hours of the Food Network, and a little trial and error of his own, has turned into quite the cook and I almost never worry about what he’s up to in the kitchen. That’s right ladies, now I’ve got the awesome guy who can cook, too–I’m a lucky girl!

This recipe is all his. It stretches a pound of meat into a very generous (and filling) eight servings and it’s easy to pull together from staples that many of us have in our pantries and freezers. It doesn’t require a packet of taco seasoning, so you get to control not only the spice but the amount of salt in your meal. You can pack it full with as many fresh veggies as your heart desires or you can go crazy with the sour cream and cheese. My favorite part, though, is the homemade tortilla chips. We season them in a dozen different ways: plain, salted, spicy, smoky, ranch, lime and pepper, etc. They’re so easy to customize according to your mood and what you’re serving them with — we haven’t had to buy a bag of tortilla chips in months!

Next time you’re craving a big, crunchy taco salad give this one a try. Invite some friends and family over to help you devour it or pack up the leftovers for lunches. This would be a nice communal meal served on the deck or patio for Memorial Day Weekend gatherings – and a nice break from burgers and dogs. ¡Olé!

Fiesta Salad with Homemade Tortilla Chips
1 pound lean ground beef, ground turkey, or boneless skinless chicken breast (cut into bite size pieces)
2 tablespoons cumin
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons black pepper
2 teaspoons ground red pepper
1/2 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
16 ounces frozen corn
1 14.5 ounce can fire roasted tomatoes
1 15 ounce can black beans, rinsed
1 16 ounce can pinto beans, rinsed
1 tablespoon lime juice
16 white or yellow corn tortillas
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt
1 head iceberg lettuce, shredded
3 medium tomatoes, diced
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Topping Ideas:
Salsa
Sour Cream
Avocado
Green Onions
Lime Wedges

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Brush tortillas lightly with oil and sprinkle with salt. Lay tortillas in a single layer on two cookie sheets and bake for 6-9 minutes until crispy, flipping halfway through (watch them closely or they’ll burn). Remove from oven and cool slightly before handling.

Meanwhile, heat a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add meat, cumin, salt, and black and red pepper to pan and cook until meat is no longer pink. If necessary, drain off any fat. Add onion and garlic to the meat and cook 3-4 minutes until soft. Reduce heat slightly and add corn, tomatoes, beans and lime juice. Cook another 5-6 minutes until heated through. Adjust seasonings to taste.

Break tortillas into quarters and place on a dinner plate. Top with one cup of shredded lettuce, a heaping cup of the meat mixture, tomatoes and two tablespoons cheese. Garnish with toppings as desired.

yield: 8 servings

Looking for more great recipes? Visit my blog at
http://culinography.wordpress.com

Look your best in a suit that both fits and flatters (image by BigGirlBlue)

The arrival of Memorial Day weekend means summer is finally here, bringing with it the hum of air conditioners, an ice cream sweet tooth, the overwhelming urge to run through sprinklers, and (deep breath, ladies) the return of swimsuit season.

Before you hit the eject button on this post and go back to poring over post mortem on “Lost” or debating/defending last night’s “American Idol” results, hang with us for a moment. Here at FGG, we know only too well how the second-skin cling of a bathing suit (coupled, of course, by the awkward necessity of shedding one’s clothes or cover-ups at some point to reveal said suit) can be kryptonite for even the most together girl. And yet, the brave ones among us have learned that feeling confident and attractive makes swimming, soaking, sunning and splashing infinitely much more appealing. Don’t think it’s possible? Whether you’ve previously rocked a swimdress, a classic tank, separates, or an “all my clothes and. . . this towel, thanks!” ensemble, we’ve culled through this season’s most fabulous styles to tempt you with amazing looks for your individual figure. So grab your waterproof sunscreen and a cool drink — surfing for your next suit begins right here.

To swim skirt or not to swim skirt

My best friend and I have debated this topic for years: She’s always been vehemently anti-skirt and, until recently, I wouldn’t set foot in public without one. There’s a lot to love about swim dresses on dry land — they drape nicely, give us a little more coverage and security, and they can make us look hot. But once it becomes waterlogged or begins floating up around your armpits, the skirt grows cumbersome. For me, it got to the point where I loathed my swim dresses and begrudged their extended drying time and refusal to stay under the water when I swam; at the same time, I clung to the notion that the skirt somehow rendered my butt and thighs invisible.

Although I can’t swear I’ll never find myself back in a swim dress, I have made some semblance of peace with my more-than-ample bottom by wearing a one-piece that fully covers me and doesn’t ride too high on my thighs. I’m also enamored with the idea of throwing on a pair of board shorts for romping around in Lake Huron during my summer vacay. (Lighter weight swim shorts bunch too much when I move; I need a more solid material, but your mileage will no doubt vary.)

If you’re not comfortable shedding the skirt — or if you love the way a dress looks and don’t spend as much time in the water — don’t resign yourself to solid, basic black. The possibilities for adorable swim dresses are nearly endless, so let your flirty or colorful side come out and choose something that fits your personality or still allows you to get in the water and move.

Waist-whittling swimsuit styles

Girls with thicker tummies and fewer hip curves are perfect candidates for the tankini style, which often allows you to mix and match bottom and top sizes, colors and styles to find the look that’s best. For an up-to-the-minute look, look for bright splashes of color on a cut that doesn’t cling to the belly but still has a shape to it. Many suits (including some tankini bottoms) will include tummy control panels or a higher percentage of Lycra/spandex to help provide control.

Other ideas for minimizing your midsection: select a one-piece design that visually elongates your body or contours your waist through stripes, color blocks or piping. Or try suits that add shirring or ruching to create the illusion of a more defined waist while disguising lumps; this is trickier, because the right design will be slimming while the wrong one will add bulk.

Pear-shaped swimwear possibilities

If you’re used to hiding in basic, solid colors, consider a daring change of pace and try another one of this season’s hot trends: graphic prints. Paired with a solid, dark-colored bottom, an attractive print on top works beautifully for girls looking to downplay their hips and butt. Whether employed on a tankini top or just the upper portion of a one-piece, prints draw the eye upward and away from your heavier areas.

An eye-catching neckline can also help focus attention on your assets — think shoulders, neck, cleavage and maybe even a collarbone. Deep V-neck styles are big right now, so be bold and flaunt a bit up top while your bottom stays comfortably covered.

Suits for babes with big busts

The “shelf” bra included in many swimsuits doesn’t cut it when you’ve got a larger chest (especially one that requires some additional help to stave off gravity). That’s why girls with big busts (D-cup or above) do well with higher necklines and more support, including underwires. It may seem like a bummer to wear a wire on the beach, but the structure improves your entire appearance by keeping all your parts in their right places and your silhouette sexy. And no one says you have to sacrifice style for support.

In addition, busty babes should look for wide-set shoulder straps that are thicker (avoid spaghetti straps and tube/bandeau tops) and form an ‘X’ or ‘T’ in back, rather than a ‘U’ shape. Halter necklines are often great for larger chests, as well, because they can be adjusted to create more support.

Swimwear for hourglass figures

Retro fashions are everywhere this season, and we think they’re a perfect match for the classic hourglass figure. Don’t be put off by the curve-hugging cuts — or some of our shopping suggestions (they’re available in 2X. . . how could we resist?). If you’ve got a fairly balanced bust-to-hip ratio, these suits are designed to flatter plus-sized bodies like yours. Embrace your curves and have some fun with your figure this summer. After all, these looks were good enough for Marilyn, right?

Roll call: where to buy plus-sized swimwear

We’ve linked to a number of different sources and examples in this Guide, but for a handy-dandy CliffsNotes list, we’ve found great suits over the years at the following retailers:

• www.alwaysforme.com
• www.avenue.com
• www.jcpenney.com
• www.junonia.com
• www.landsend.com
• www.lanebryant.com
• www.swimsuitsforall.com
• www.swimsuitsjustforus.com
• www.torrid.com
• www.womanwithin.com

No matter your swimsuit size, classics are always in style

It’s important to keep in mind that trends come and go, but the basics of bathing suit fitting never go out of style. It’s well and good for a suit to look cute when you’ve arranged your body into it just right and posed in the mirror, but that’s not real life. Be sure to put your prospective suit through a full-on movement test before taking the plunge; you should be able to walk, bend, stretch, sit, twist and complete any other beachy activities without the suit gapping, pinching (especially at the legs) or requiring tugging or readjustment. And don’t forget a boob test — lean forward and shake the girls around to make sure the neckline is appropriate and the bra keeps you in place.

Finally, remember that guidelines aren’t carved in stone and won’t work for every person. Ultimately,  you have to choose the look and style that makes you most comfortable. After all, the trendiest bathing suit in the world won’t do a bit of good if it stays in your drawer all summer.

Readers: the floor – or should we say pool deck – is yours. Tell us about your “perfect for me” suit — including where you found it. Share the styles that have you excited this season, or clue us in on a store we might have missed.

Sleeves or No Sleeves? That is the question.
(image and dress courtesy of Stefanie Bezaire)

We love reader mail. Hearing what works – and what doesn’t – here at FGG inspires us to provide the most useful and (hopefully) engaging content possible. Here’s a recent reader email requesting a summer fashion fix for girls who are self-conscious about their upper arms:

I have a question and am wondering if you or any of your other readers might have some answers. I have recently discovered my love for dresses! Unfortunately, so many of the cutest styles are sleeveless, and i hate my upper arms! I’m wondering if there’s an easy way to add or lengthen sleeves, even/especially if the dress is made with a print fabric. Thanks again for such a great blog. I’ve found such great advice and tips and just feel happy every time there’s a new post.

Boy, can we relate to this issue! Of course, the first thing we’ll say is to encourage you to embrace your arms, flaws and all. It might be that you haven’t found the right dress with the right cap sleeve, wide strap, or cute neckline that places the focus on your whole cute package instead of one perceived flaw. But when it comes to more practical, DIY solutions to this issue, we turned to an expert to tackle this question: Stefanie Bezaire, a Toronto designer specializing in fashion for sizes 12 and up.

I totally understand where you are coming from–I hate my upper arms too! But over the years, I have found a few things that work for me.

The easiest, non- sew solutions would be:

1. Getting a super cute stretch body suit or body-hugging stretch tee with 3/4 length or short sleeves, preferably in something current and edgy. (FGG: we found several plus-size bodysuits here). Lace is so in right now and would look great under solid colors and/or prints. With a print dress you can get a bit creative and do an ’80s vibe with a denim vest and colored leggings too. The key with prints is to stick to plain colored lace–black, white or grey only. Otherwise the prints and the lace will compete and there will stares (sadly for the wrong reasons).

2. Get a lightweight shrug, cardigan, or even a button front shirt (roll up the sleeves and tie it at the waist and you’re done!). For summer dresses, look for something lightweight but not too fancy, like a jersey knit or lightweight faded denim also known as chambray (so popular right now and very accessible).

3. Draw the eyes away from the arms by adding some bold accessories. A great hair bow or headband, an elegant brooch, some fab earrings, a wide waist belt–all these things will distract from your trouble areas and highlight your assets.

4. Find a professional to help you out. When you really want to make a dress work and you have the money to pay for something custom, go for it! There are many designers who will be open to helping you find the right solution for your garment. They will most likely make sure the dress fits properly too by adjusting the hem or bust line, etc.

For the more advanced fashionista, I have some sewing solutions.

1. The simplest sewing fix would be to buy a wide trim, gather it on one side and attach to the straps (you usually will need at least double the length of the armhole to create some nice fullness). Lace again would be good, or even an eyelet fabric. Keep the trim you use in line with the style of the dress and you can’t go wrong; for example, if the dress is a simple cotton don’t go adding metallic lace. Also, try to get something the same color as the dress. Don’t go crazy with contrasts as this will only draw the eye to the arms instead of away from it.

2. If you want a sleeker, more complex option, you can always buy a dress pattern with sleeves, cut out only the sleeve pieces from the pattern and carefully attach them to your dress. A general rule to determine the right size is to measure the armhole length on the dress and add 1″- 1.5″ for ease. Compare that measurement to the one on the pattern, and if they match up you are all set! You can always use a little ribbon trim to cover up trouble spots or add length where needed.

3. When adding sleeves just won’t work, and you can’t find anything at a store that you like or that fits, don’t forget that you can also make your own lace body suit, shrug or cardigan as suggested in the non-sew tips. This is definitely a longer process, but there are some great patterns out there that are easy, affordable, and will give you exactly what you are looking for.

If you are a beginner to sewing don’t fret! There are many YouTube videos and perhaps some sewing classes in your area that can help you get started. Finally, my best tip would be to have confidence and love what you are wearing. If you walk tall, everyone will be looking at that beautiful smile on your face and not even noticing your arms!

Stefanie, thanks for sharing all of these great ideas! Girls, do you have any solutions for our reader on adding sleeves to sundresses or other clever cover-up solutions? Tell us about them in the comments.

Ouch, by Dyanna

Most of us have (ahem) been burned before: maybe we’ve held a garage sale, attended a nephew’s outdoor graduation, or stepped out to pull some weeds “just for a few minutes,” only to feel the burn a few hours later. If you’re me, you went kayaking for the first time, dutifully applying sunscreen to your face, shoulders, arms, and chest but forgetting your capri-pants-clad shins, (wrongly) assuming they’d be covered. Nobody knows better than me that mistakes happen, but this particular error is easily–and thankfully–preventable. Rising temps and increased hours of daylight here in the U.S. mean the need for sunscreen is also increasing. The good news is that sunscreen products are appearing–often on sale–in anticipation of the pool openings and barbecues that are common during Memorial Day weekend.

Wearing sunscreen is about more than simply avoiding pain or, if you’re like me, sandal and t-shirt tan lines; it can help prevent signs of aging and even skin cancer (check out these skin cancer prevention tips from the Centers for Disease Control). Because I’m both an outdoorsy sweaty Betty and the proud owner of annual family pool passes, I prefer sunscreens that can protect me during a variety of activities. I prefer sweat- and waterproof, sports-oriented brands, which in my experience tend to have more staying power, and I’m careful to reapply as directed on the label. The “Ultra Sweatproof” claim on Coppertone Sport Breathable Sunscreen in SPF 30 sold me last summer, and it did the job while gardening, biking, swimming, and hiking. Your mileage may vary, but I prefer lotions to sprays because I think you get more bang for your buck – which matters to us big girls with more surface area to cover and who are active outdoors in sunny weather. If you shop online, don’t forget to Google “[Sunscreen Brand Name] coupon” or “[Your preferred retailer] coupon code” to scope out any specials on products and/or shipping. And if you decide to try kayaking for the first time this year, be sure to check out The Fat Girl’s Guide to Kayaking – and don’t forget those shins!

Many of us in the U.S. are staring down the barrel at a three-day weekend. Not just any three-day weekend, but one that heralds the beginning of summer and all of its requisite picnics, barbecues and pool parties. Of course, ice cream is the quintessential summertime treat, but what if you’re looking for something a little more portable and a lot less melty?

Enter the cupcake cone. That’s right, a cupcake baked in an ice cream cone and topped with frosting to resemble soft-serve ice cream (or, if you prefer the “hand-scooped” look – and a real sugar fix – you can scoop on a ball of frosting). This is one adorable hand-held treat that comes with the bonus of no plates, forks or cupcake wrappers to deal with.

The cupcake cone is best made the day you plan to eat them, since the cone will absorb some of the moisture from the cupcake. I made mine in sugar cones because they’re my favorite (thanks, Martha!). However, they’re a little more challenging than the flat-bottomed cone. Don’t let this deter you — either look is completely achievable even for novice bakers. For sugar cones, you’ll need a bundt pan, tube pan, or even an oven-proof bowl and a couple of sheets of foil. For the flat bottomed cone option you’ll use a cupcake tin. No matter which cone you prefer, these cuties are so worth the effort!

If you don’t need 24 cupcake cones, just reduce the number of cones you fill and use the leftover cake batter to make a small cake or some cupcakes (which you can use immediately or put in the freezer for a later indulgence).

Make a batch of these this weekend . . . I promise they’ll make your family and friends smile!

Chocolate Cupcake Cones with Chocolate-Hazelnut Frosting
24 ice cream cones
3 cups flour
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups sugar
1 cup oil (vegetable, canola, etc.)
2 cups water
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 tablespoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Cover a bundt or tube pan or oven safe bowl with two sheets of aluminum foil and poke small holes into the foil, leaving enough space between the holes to accommodate side by side cones. Push the cones gently into the holes until about 1″ of cone is showing. (If using flat-bottomed cones place one cone into each well of a cupcake pan — you can increase stability by surrounding the cones w/ dried beans that you don’t plan to cook with or pie weights.)

In a large bowl, add all other ingredients and mix until just combined. Pour batter into cones, filling to approximately 1″ from the top . Bake at 325 degrees for 15-20 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from oven to cool completely. Frost with Chocolate-Hazelnut Frosting (recipe follows).

Chocolate-Hazelnut Frosting
1 cup butter, room temperature
1.5 pounds powdered sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted and cooled to room temp
1/4 cup hazelnut spread (Nutella – or make your own!)
2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Cream butter until light and fluffy. Slowly beat in powdered sugar and cocoa. Mix in melted chocolate, hazelnut spread, cream and vanilla. Once incorporated, beat on high for three to four minutes. Add a bit more heavy cream if frosting consistency is too heavy or a bit more powdered sugar if consistency is too light.

Looking for more great recipes? Visit my blog at
http://culinography.wordpress.com

Instead of chasing trends, find a hairstyle that compliments you

We’ve all had bad hair days, and bad hair cuts – like the time I chopped off my hair while pregnant, immediately transforming me into a human bowling pin. No matter our size, there’s a handful of great and not-so-great looks for us (a poodle perm on my straw-straight hair, for instance?). Even though I’ll never have the Andie MacDowell hair of my dreams, through the years I’ve learned to embrace the hair I was born with, just as I’ve learned to appreciate the body I have now.

But great hair takes more than just accepting your natural hair type. It takes a stylist who understands your hair’s characteristics, and what styles go best with your face shape, body type and even lifestyle (I will only wield a blow dryer if attending a wedding, for instance). In order to find out some of the best hairstyles for round faces, I consulted two style experts for their suggestions.

Basic hair cut tips for full faces

“Don’t wait until you lose weight to find a great hairstyle,” says Carol Tuttle, author of Dressing Your Truth, a book and accompanying website with a singular mission: helping women become their own style experts. In Tuttle’s experience, many overweight women treat their hair as they do their bodies: putting off regular trips to the salon until that magical day when everything in their lives is perfect instead of making themselves look marvelous right now.

“The number one rule to keep in mind is to never have the widest part of your hairstyle fall at the widest point of your face,” says Tracy Olson, a stylist at Studio 10 Salon & Color Spa in Woodstock, Illinois – and the person responsible for my lovely highlights. If you have a square jaw, for example, having hair fall at the jawline will make your head look like a triangle. “Naturally curly hair against broad cheekbones will need some layering at the top or you’ll look like Roseanne Rosannadanna,” says Olson.

Olson’s second tip is more surprising, in that it has nothing to do with face shape or hair texture, but rather your neck length and shape. “If your neck is short, a cut that falls about an inch above the shoulder – allowing space between the hair and the shoulder – will create a flattering lengthening effect,” she says. “Also, a haircut that falls past the shoulders without too much thickness from the chin down can also create a longer neckline.” Olson recommends asking your stylist about good cuts for your face shape, size, and neck length. Check out Visual Makeover for examples of different face shapes and styles that pair well with each.

Two great fat friendly hair cuts

The long bob – “This is the look Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing now,” says Olson. The long bob falls at least two inches below the jawline and a bit shorter in the back and is heavily textured – which adds a bit of layering from the jawline down while still keeping the sleekness of a bob.

The long layered cut – “Layers are key here, because round shapes should never have one length of hair,” says Olson. Layers should start from the chin down, creating a lengthening effect. “This gives a straighter look with some texture without being too bulky.” Olson says loose curls are coming back into style again, and whether you’re doing a perm or have naturally curly hair, it’s important to remove bulk between the chin and neck using a technique called “point cutting” to create a more balanced look.

Hair color tricks that flatter a round face

Highlights are an easy way to add a little shine to your hair, but they can also create a balanced look for fuller faces. If you picture yourself standing in the sun, your hair is lighter on the top more than on the bottom, so highlighting this way creates a more natural look. “If you leave the bottom portion of your hair dark, it looks more streamlined, eliminating width at the bottom,” says Olson, who compares this to wearing darker pants to create a slimming effect. “By doing this, someone can go for a style that’s not exactly right for them, but color tailored to her face shape can add just enough magic to pull it off.” Highlights should be on the top of the head and lightly frame the face. “If you have very dark brown to black hair, I don’t think highlights work,” says Tuttle. She suggests a contrasting color such as darker amber red or a violet instead of highlights. Blondes who have gone darker or even dishwater should imagine their hair color at about age 5. “That’s your best highlight color,” she says.

Hair cuts and styles to avoid if you’re overweight

Obviously there are exceptions to every style rule and tip out there, but keep these tips from our experts in mind when looking for a new hairstyle and decide whether or not breaking the rules is the best move for you.

- “Avoid going too short,” says Olson. “Super-short hairstyles on round faces make your head look smaller than the rest of your body. If you simply must have to have that pixie cut, make it textured and wispy, with some height on top and in the bangs.”

- A perfectly centered part. “Nobody looks good with a centered part unless they’re Demi Moore or getting their features Photoshopped,” says Tuttle.

- “Avoid blunt cuts if your face is very round,” says Olson. Layers add texture and definition.

- Skip trendy cuts and styles. Tuttle’s rule of thumb: avoid a trend unless it supports your type of beauty. “Women conclude it’s them when a trendy style doesn’t work, when in reality it’s the trend that doesn’t suit them,” she says.

We realize that even style rules were meant to be broken, so if you’re positively rocking a look that defies these rules, let us know – or share a photo in our FGG Girls Flickr group, and link to it in comments!