The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Kick back. We’ve got your July FGG covered.
Image by eyesogreen

In my corner of the Midwest, midsummer air is usually thick enough to pour over pancakes (though I don’t let it stop me from getting on my bike or heading to the pool). When mild temps and low humidity arrived recently, I spent even more time outdoors, which meant less time catching up on my favorite online reads. If you’ve been in a similar state of mind, hopefully you’ll appreciate this recap of July at FGG so you can return to vacation planning and savoring these abundant sunny days.

We receive so many great questions for our popular “Ask FGG” segment and this month was no exception. Padded bike shorts for plus-sized backsides? We found ‘em. We also helped an intrepid reader dress stylishly for a poolside bachelorette party in Vegas – and we’re dying to know what she bought and how it goes! We’ll be sure to post any highlights in a future roundup. Finally, at least one of you readers is as hammock-obsessed as I am, allowing us to address the issue of what to look for in a hammock that will sustain our weight.

Our columnists tackled dating disasters for single fat girls and clued us in about a little-known truth: guys worry about finding flattering swimwear, too. If you missed Michelle’s summer-friendly recipes, here’s a second chance to drool over Farmers Market Potato Salad, Peach-Blueberry Cobbler, and Summertime Zucchini Pasta. We also served up a guide to summer reading, insights on becoming irresistible at any size (even to yourself)–a FGG must-read–celebrated girlfriend getaways, and offered tips for fat girls visiting amusement parks with friends and family.

And last but not least, I’m not sure if a roundup that links to a roundup defies any laws of physics (hopefully we won’t all implode upon reading), but our Guide to Summer Fun is a recap of sorts that received some terrific comments from our daring readers, who are always upbeat about trying new things and returning to report on them. I’ll leave you with their words for inspiration:

“I am taking the dare…a group of my friends and I have a white water rafting trip planned for the end of August. It has been on my “bucket list” forever and I have always been afraid — partly because of my size…not letting it get the better of me. All of my friends going and our guide[s] have done this and it seems that’s the best time to do something you have always wanted to do, surrounded by people who love you….Still scared though…” –rebecca

“I’m going on vacation next month to a resort that has tons of opportunities for water sports. I’m going to try to find a nice suit using your swimsuit guide so I can at least attempt some fun.” –becky

“I am excited to tell you that I wore a bikini to the beach! Yes! Me, in all my glory!! I wore a bikini today to the beach — and I wore it proudly and tanned my belly for the first time in almost 15 years!! I felt so liberated! I felt beautiful! I felt free!” –ld

Your turn. Tell us about your upcoming summer adventures in the comments. For those of you taking up new challenges, please come back and report on how things went!

image by Unfurled

June was an exciting month for FGG, as we celebrated our first anniversary by receiving invaluable feedback from our readers through our first annual reader survey. Thanks to everyone who took the time to write such thoughtful, forthright responses. We love hearing from readers year-round, whether sending constructive criticism, kudos, questions, or suggestions for topics, and you can reach us any time by emailing letters@fatgirlsguidetoliving.com.

In case you’ve been busy communing with a hammock or chaise lounge, here are some highlights from June on FGG, where we covered topics ranging from preventing chafing between fat rolls (a handy topic in sticky summer heat!) to minimizing body jiggle (helpful when wearing more revealing clothing during summer months). On that note, we also tackled strapless bras for larger chests, perfect under sundresses for busty girls, and this month’s Sex and the Single Fat Girl column covered confidence while swimsuit socializing.

On the active front, we found some resources for a reader who asked where to find affordable plus-sized tennis clothing and another who wrote in search of rash guard shirts that are form-fitting without feeling like you’re being smothered – a great find for girls inspired by our guide to surfing (one of my personal FGG faves to date).

With summer in full bloom, we’re hoping our guides to being a foodie and gardening, along with our love for farmers markets will inspire you to explore the tastes of this abundant season. Even Michelle’s tantalizing Foodie Fridays recipes were designed to beat the June heat, including a refreshing-yet-healthy shake (she had me at peanut butter paired with chocolate) and quick-cooking Greek quinoa salad with shrimp.

If you’d like to retrace our every step over the past month, our June archive is here. If you simply can’t get enough of FGG and you’re not already following us, we’re also on Twitter, Facebook, and Flickr, and you can subscribe to our posts via an RSS feed or email, too. If you’re reading and have no idea how any of these social media networks or feeds operate but were too shy to ask, go ahead and email us and we’d be glad to help (it won’t hurt, we promise).

Well, we asked and you delivered. I am so grateful for the feedback you’ve given us on our first year, your comments were insightful, detailed, creative and all-around helpful in letting us know what’s working, what isn’t, and what you wish we’d cover here at FGG. Thank you!

Toni and I will be scouring the responses in detail, and making adjustments in the coming weeks based on what we’ve learned about you. Stay tuned for more great stuff soon.

We had our trusty number-picker at random.org select the survey respondee number for our Walmart gift card giveaway. Congratulations to response #68, Cindy Saunders! We’ll get your gift card out right away, and thanks again!

You’re busy. We get that. Catch up here. (Image by thewaltonsare)

Here at FGG, we understand busy lives–nurturing, working, gardening, entertaining, remodeling, traveling, healing, being. We know that everyone’s to-do lists can extend for pages, making us even more grateful for you readers who take the time to visit, read, and comment on this site. True confession time: sometimes, we mark the dozens of posts in our RSS feeds as “read,” despite the brief pain of knowing we’re missing some great stuff from our favorite sites. In that spirit, at the end of each month, we’ll be offering a roundup of what you may have missed or might want to revisit.

Here are some highlights from May:

If it’s late spring where you live, many public swimming pools and water parks opened this past weekend. Our Guide to Figure-flattering Swimwear for plus-size women should prove helpful, along with our Ask FGG entry that tackled sarongs for wider hips – and don’t forget your sweatproof (and waterproof) sunscreen when you hit the pool, girls! If you have a garden party or barbecue to attend, consider bringing these Ricotta & Cream Cheese Stuffed Strawberries – a treat as pretty as it is fresh and tasty. On the more decadent side, these Cupcake Cones make an equally pretty and unique party dessert.

If you’re stressing about attending events where you’re the only big gal there, our thought-provoking Guide to Surviving Social Situations with Skinny Friends might provide a welcome confidence boost. Other feel-fab tips can be found in our Guide to Flattering Hair Cuts for Round Faces and tips on adding sleeves or other cover-ups to sleeveless dresses – or choosing to love your arms just the way they are, per our readers’ suggestions. This month’s Sex and the Single Fat Girl column addressed conflicting feelings that can emerge when stepping out with a date who’s significantly different from you, and It’s A Guy Thing tackled the gulf between media portrayals of women and the reality of today’s plus size population.

To catch up on the rest of FGG during the month of May, check out our archives for more.

Readers, tell us: what was your favorite or most surprising topic from this past month? Coming up: FGG celebrates its first birthday! How do you think we should celebrate?

Raindrops refrained by davidezartz

Dear FGG: I’m a size 24 and I’m not having any luck finding a cute raincoat for spring at local stores. Got any ideas?

Rainy days can either make you feel dark and gloomy or playful and earthy – it’s all about your attitude. Fortunately, this question led us to a number of cute finds that had us ready to throw on rubber boots and go puddle stomping. Better yet, many are currently marked at sale prices. Win/win!

Depending how dressed-up you want to look, the classic trench coat is always a great option that can take you from spring to fall. While some of you girls might shy away from belted jackets, they’re actually flattering because they highlight your waist (yes, even if it’s thicker), which balances your silhouette and keeps you from looking boxy. The clean, crisp looks offered by TravelSmith (sizes up to 3X or 24/26) and Woman Within (sizes up to 34W) are perfect for wearing to work or on dressier occasions. Be sure to check the sizing chart before purchasing, because not all 3X measurements are created equal. According to the Macy’s sizing chart, for example, their 3X DKNY long rain coat only accommodates a size 22.

For a more casual style, try Junonia’s Cloudburst rain jacket with brim hood (sizes up to 6X) or the packable Anorak rain coat from TravelSmith. Items from the Weather Solutions® line  from Woman Within, are reasonably priced and available in plus sizes to 34W or higher. Opt for a basic Anorak style with drawstring waist and detachable hood, or add some pizazz with a shiny, patent look or an A-line swing and cheerful punch of color.

Finally, consider taking a bold, “new beginnings” approach to the season — stow your dark, heavy winter coat in the closet and step out in a pure white trench with black floral border from Avenue. Available in sizes up to 26 and priced under $60, this flattering coat (yes, big girls can wear white, too!) says “welcome, spring!” all over.

What styles have kept you warm and dry lately, ladies? Leave us a comment describing your rainy-day must-haves.

We asked, and you answered: “What’s the FIRST word that comes to mind when you think of yoga?” From your 100+ responses, we randomly selected a winner:

::drumroll::

Sherri, who wrote “***energizing***” as her one-word association with the word “yoga.”

Congratulations, Sherri!

Please email your mailing address to: letters AT fatgirlsguidetoliving DOT com so we can send your copy of Plus-Sized Yoga: Beginners Yoga for People of All Sizes by Donald Keith Stanley.

Thanks for playing along, everyone! Tee and I got a kick out of your creativity and humor when answering this question. And Sherri and anyone else who picks up a copy of this book: please write to tell us what you think of it–we love reader mail! Stay tuned, as we’re planning more reader giveaways in the future.

From a sketchbook Toni’s mom saved from her artistic days.
(Russell Iredell, Drawing the Figure, 1941)

Rod Stewart once confessed: “I seem to have a particular liking for blondes. The most memorable is always the current one. The rest seem to merge into a sea of blondes.” And while Rod may be a bit of a prick, at least he’s honest enough to confess that he has a “type.”

Lots of guys do. I don’t.

Not that I’ve had a long list of partners. Six, to be exact. But I’ve been fortunate enough to have loved, and been loved by, some extraordinary women. Each is fiercely independent, intelligent, and passionate about life. If you asked me to name the one thing that most attracted me to them, it would be this last item: their passion for life, biting into each new experience as though it were a ripe peach. But physically, they’re all very different – tall, short, A cup, double D – and they wear a wide range of dress sizes.

So when it comes to the physical, women often want to know: what do men like? I have no idea. I don’t speak for other men; I only know what I like. It can be anything from the generous curve of her lips, a quickness in her glance, the way she puts her hair up in hot weather, that little soft place behind her ears, the sway of her hips in a summer dress, or her voice whispering my name in the dark. The best magic comes in these small moments.

I will tell you where I got my appreciation for the female form, at the risk of providing way too much information. No, it wasn’t from porn. Oddly, my dad had at various times in his life fancied himself a painter. Though he made a few expensive trips to the art supply store and issued the urgent request that my mom set up his new easel before lunch one Sunday, he never once set brush to paper. But he did buy books. Books of paintings and books of photography. Among them, The Artist’s Model, probably issued in the early 1960s. And late at night, when the apartment was quiet, teenage Charlie would sneak a few looks at the beautiful nude models featured in its pages. See? Probably too much information.

So, the first women I saw naked (and the only women I’d see naked until age 19) all had generous curves, and were photographed in black and white with the most advanced lighting techniques of the day. And fortunately, back then there was neither silicone nor a size zero.

I’m not sure there’s much more I can say. Although one of my wife’s favorite stories about me comes from when we were dating, when she asked, “How did you know you’d be attracted to me because the other women you’ve dated are so much thinner?” I thought about that for a moment before answering. Being the classy guy I am, I said, “Well, I felt you up pretty good in the car.” Yes, that was my answer. And rather than taking it as an insult, it remains, to her, quite endearing.

Go figure.