The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

A guest post by Kira Nerusskaya

Hello, fellow fat girls!

My name is Kira Nerusskaya, and I am a fat girl with a dream. A dream so simple, that it seems completely reckless and ridiculous: I would like people of all sizes to be treated with the same respect as everyone else. We seem to feel our “non-fat” counterparts achieve respect simply by breathing, even though we’re sharing the same air!

The most honest, humblest words are usually—the truth. Like Dr. Martin King, I think people should be judged by the content of their character not by the color of their skin. But, I have often said that I would like to further extend his definition to add “nor their size.”

People may call my simple dream reckless because everyone seems to think that you not only cannot be fat, but you shouldn’t be. And if you are, well, tough—deal with it—as if fatness equals and demands deservedly poor treatment.

Yet up until now, that’s exactly what we have been doing. But we are a little tired—tired of cruel fat jokes, glares, stares, and uncalled-for shouts on the streets, denial of possible romantic partners and proper health care, unequal professional treatment and/or discrimination in the workplace. Programmed weight stigma is alive and well in our society, we face it daily, and it’s come to be regarded as the norm. Yet somehow I am always surprised. I remember reading about curvy girls in the UK. One person commented that she didn’t understand how these plus-sized women could be pretty since they “must sit around on the couch eating Bon-Bons all day.” I remember thinking, “Are you for real?” I hardly think I am the exception: I have been fat all of my life, and have never eaten a Bon-Bon, and haven’t owned a couch in 10 years.

Fat stigma and negative stereotypes continue-even when our culture says they’re trying to embrace it.

Clearly, we still need a voice, and better yet, a voice attached to women on film, happy women who are happy in their bodies, out living and loving life, and themselves. What an important thing for the world – not just Americans – to witness.

I was introduced to the BBW (Big, Beautiful Women) community years ago by a male stranger on a railroad platform at New York City’s Grand Central terminal. He approached me, asking if we had met at Goddesses –  New York’s premier dance party for BBW singles and the men who admire them. I checked it out, and immediately knew that I was among friends. I had finally found my people.

I’ve always thought that we as a group should be documented, but from the inside, and thought that film would be the most powerful venue way capture the fat acceptance movement. I had been kicking around the idea for years, and now I just wanted to get on the street with a camera. As I sat alone on the bus thinking people must think, as Kim Brittingham has said, that “fat must be contagious,” I knew it was time to roll up my sleeves and get started.

So, despite a very demanding full-time job, I went down the block, had a t-shirt made, took a ten-minute “this is how you use the camera” lesson, took a picture with my deli guy, then pointed my radar and my camera toward the 2006 BBW Vegas Bash in 2006—and I haven’t looked back.

I didn’t stop with the U.S. Fat shame knows no boundaries—not gender, age, color, creed, economic status, profession, level of education, or nationality. So I turned to what I knew best, Russian literature, and thought about a book that was dear to me: Voices from the Chorus by Andrei Sinyavski. A collection of thoughts, overheard conversations and letters Sinyavski had written and received while imprisoned in the Russian Gulag, this book was the inspiration for my framework on how I would present the conversations in my film. I wanted to collect voices from the fat chorus, the voices of and about women living and working and playing every day.  Here’s what I found:

In England we had some good laughs, despite that there are many differences of opinion, and there’s definitely a need to bring better plus-size sources and clothing to the country.

France was familiar, I lived there in the early 1990s, and why I never had a problem with language, culture or how I was received by the French, I was heartbroken to watch the way they would be cruel to a fat person buying vegetables in the market. Because we don’t eat vegetables, right? Just Bon-Bons. And on the couch.

In Russia, it was like being home. Actually, it’s my second home. I loved meeting women from both Moscow and St. Petersburg. Talking about culture, we laughed together when I told them that I related more to the Russian Matriyoshka doll (the Russian nesting doll) than Barbie, even if she became a feisty brunette. And impromptu discovery on the way to the bus was one of my favorites: I met two other fat women. We smiled at each other as we sized each other up. They liked my clothes, I liked their honesty. We became friends, and, it turns out, they were plus-size clothing retailers with a booming business!

As I visited these countries, it was clear that their size acceptance movements were in a different place than ours, but still growing, and very grass roots—like any socio-political movement. They’re on their way, and seem happy to move in a positive direction, toward loving their bodies and themselves—and helping others to do the same. In all cases, the it was the warm sense of support we all received from each other, as we do here, that stuck with me most. Twelve thousand dollars and many hundreds of hours later, and I am left awed, grateful and honored for the many people who have shared their thoughts, hearts, and lives with me during the production of my documentary, Fat Girls Float.

Worldwide, plus-sized men and women are fighting for a very basic need: to be accepted. Our story needs to be told, and I thought who better to tell it than one of our own? Someone who knows what it means and how it feels, physically and psychologically, to walk down the street carrying 300 pounds. and so I have produced this documentary virtually by myself, from holding the camera, losing audio, making connections and tracking down people to talk with, promoting, asking, setting up travel, blogging, logging, cataloging and everything else under the sun necessary to tell this important story. It was worth it.

But I’m not finished, yet. I want Fat Girls Float to have an international audience, and I could use your help. Please check out and then pass along the film trailer to everyone you know, and if you’d like to help push this project over the top, consider a donation through Kickstarter.com, an organization dedicated to helping spread important messages through art.

‘In a culture where fat can weigh you down, the only thing that keeps you from sinking is the size of your heart.”

—KIRA

A guest post by author and speaker Joan Landis

Esteem is defined, “to hold something as valuable with high regard or great respect.” Therefore, self-esteem would mean to hold oneself in that same light or frame of mind. In this society, however, from the second we are born, we are bombarded with images and statements that teach us to dislike us. Society continuously inundates us with messages that we need to be “fixed” in some way. Our bodies are too big, our breasts are too small. We need a nose job or fuller lips. Our hair is the wrong color. Our teeth are not white enough. Our hips are too wide, our butts are too flat. We end up feeling emotionally obligated to spend our money on things that make us more attractive.

But no matter what products we buy, programs we follow, or procedures we have done to improve the way we look, there will always be an advertisement waiting to tell us about something else we need to change. Our culture is set up this way, with auto-reminders that we should never be satisfied with who we are and what we look like.

In that environment, it’s difficult to hold ourselves in high regard. Let’s face it: self-esteem is bad for business. If I love myself as I am, in the moment, with all of my faults and imperfections (real or imagined), there is no reason for me to whip out my wallet in pursuit of product after self-enhancing product. So the market is heavily invested in making sure we don’t get there.

The ironic part is that genuine self love and self esteem is what draws people to us. It’s what makes us most attractive at our core. Ladies, we’re doing something wrong.

If we want to be truly loved for who we are, we need to be that person unapologetically. If we want to light up a room when we walk in, we need to learn to shine from the inside out. When we love ourselves in the moment, we’re contagious. People become enamored with subtle signals of self-confidence, regardless of what we look like superficially. And when we love ourselves, we naturally build others up, and they naturally want to be closer to us. When we don’t, we instead want to tear them down (and often do)…and we alienate them instead. No amount of expensive skin care products or hot outfits will change those things. But still, we fool ourselves.

I have spent many years changing the daily tapes in my head that tell me I am not good enough. No, I’m not perfect and have certainly made my share of mistakes and bad decisions. That doesn’t mean I’m worthless and unlovable, it means I’m human. Each of us is on a journey, and part of that journey’s purpose is to learn that we are good people; beautiful just as we are. But if we want others to know it, too, we need to believe it with our entire being. Once we do, then we can take an objective, educated look at ourselves, inside and out, and decide what we’d like to be different. How WE, not the media, not society, not our culture, not our parents, our lovers, our friends, our neighbors, but WE… want to improve our health, fitness, looks or anything else in our lives.

This is key, because self-sabotage happens when we try to change in order to be worthy of love, from ourselves or anyone else, because from that skewed point of view, how can we feel worthy of the investment we’re making in ourselves?

Even though I weigh 411 pounds — morbid, society calls it — I love me. I have weighed far less in the past, and I have also weighed more. Yet I am vibrant, beautiful, sexy, funny, loving, caring, honest, trustworthy, but very humble about who I am and grateful for what I have been given. Am I working on changing some things about me? Yes I am. But I’ve learned to stop letting the rest of the world decide what those changes should be. After 40 years, I’ve finally embraced that I deserve a happily-ever-after despite my challenges and imperfections. I know who I am, where I’ve come from and where I’m going. I am valuable. I hold myself in high regard and with great respect, despite all the messages coming at me to the contrary. In my life, this has made all the difference. I hope it will in yours, too.

– Joan

Joan Landis has struggled with life-long obesity, and has spent most of her adult years focusing on helping others reach a place of self-love and respect. Joan is a motivational speaker, author of the book, Oh My God, She’s Huge!, and has a B.A. in Psychology from Lebanon Valley College. To learn more about Joan and her work, visit http://www.joanmlandis.com.

New Point of View (with the permission of Elizabeth Patch)

One of the first voices that stood out when FGG made its Twitter debut a few months ago was the encouraging and whimsical @elizabethpatch – artist, teacher, author and lover of the human form in all its myriad shapes and sizes. A browse through her web site, More to Love, and her blog, the More to Love sketchbook, cinched it: this was a woman we wanted to know!

Elizabeth’s work as an artist mirrors FGG’s core philosophy: even if we’re working on becoming healthier, we need to change the way we see ourselves, our place in the world, and what we’re capable and deserving of now. We loved her outlook and her portrayal of overweight women so much we asked her if we could dig around in her world a little bit by way of a few questions. Here’s what she had to say.

FGG: We found you through Twitter and right away fell head over heels for your  illustrations. They’re lively, colorful, whimsical and they instantly evoke feelings of pride and happiness with a full-figured body. When did begin sketching/painting the  human form? How has your work evolved since then?

EP: What a great fun surprise Twitter is, I’m so glad we connected! I’ve been drawing people all of my life, starting with copying comic book heroes and Michelangelo drawings as a kid. When I was an art student I focused on learning human anatomy, and I still love drawing from live models whenever I have the chance. As an art student I did huge, emotional charcoal drawings of nude figures, very dark and full of angst. They look nothing at all like my current style!

FGG: What materials do you use in most of your work (oils, canvas, charcoals,  sketchbooks, digital…)? How often do you produce a piece, and what do you do with most of them?

EP: All of my illustrations start out as scribbled ideas in a kid’s doodle pad (really! I’m more creative if I have cheap paper) Once I have an idea I like, I trace it onto smooth white paper. Then the clean drawing is scanned into my computer, and all of the color and detail is added digitally using a program called Painter. I love the messiness of real charcoal and paint, and I still play with them when I can, but for my illustrations I really love the flexibility of working digitally. It’s hard to  estimate the time it takes to make the raw, messy ideas as many of them are thrown out and revised quite a few times. Once I have the drawing done, the final illustrations take between 20-40 hours of painting, depending on how complex the details are. The final versions exist as digital files until printed.

FGG: How does the idea for a particular female form to paint or sketch come to you? Are they all conjured up in your imagination, or are some based on real characters in your world?

EP: I am always doodling the people I see out in public. At a concert I often spend more time looking at the audience than the stage, at the mall I’d rather people-watch than shop. So I gather ideas from real people. Occasionally, I’ll use a photo or a sketch as a reference, especially if I can’t get the pose just right, but I usually draw my characters from the memory of people I’ve seen.

FGG: You’re a teacher, you’re privy to the lives of young girls struggling with identity, body image, sense of self and how they fit into the world. Tell us about some of the memorable things you’ve seen over your career?

EP: In 20 years of teaching I have rarely met a girl who hasn’t had an issue with her weight, no matter what size she actually is. It’s beyond tragic how girls grow up believing that normal is underweight, and that one’s value is measured in the size jeans that they wear. The most memorable, and most heartbreaking, was when one of my favorite students was at normal weight as a Freshman, returned underweight as a Sophomore, become hospitalized with extreme anorexia as a Junior, “recovered” as a Senior, and then died from heart damage 6 weeks before graduation day.

FGG: As an artist with a wonderful eye for depicting full figures in a vital, positive light, I’m sure you must be attracted to other artists that have a similar ability. Can you share a few with us?

EP: Thanks! I love anyone who can really draw well.

FGG: You’ve said that you, too, struggled with body image. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

EP: I’ve written about my experiences with eating disorders on my website, in an essay called “But Elizabeth, You’re Not Fat!” But the short version is that I come from a thin, lanky family and yet still felt that I needed to be thinner to be more attractive. I fell into anorexia after a series of very stressful events in my life as a struggling single mother of two. Thankfully I was never too ill to care for my children! I really woke up to the pointlessness of wasting time and energy on being super thin when I started working with all these young girls repeating the same destructive body image attitudes that I had grown up with.

FGG: I checked out some of your previous interviews, and loved the line about how you traded in “Do I look fat in this?” to “Do I look good in this?” Tell us how those kinds of attitude shifts, along with your artistic process in painting and sketching women with realistic body types, has changed how you see yourself, and your relationship to the rest of the world?

EP: Isn’t it amazing how one word can change that entire question around? Once I began working on More to Love, which truly started out just as doodles and journal entries, I started reading every single thing I could on the topic of self esteem, body image, and fat acceptance. I began to see that my experiences, and those of my friends and family and students were not just personal, but almost universal. I wanted to share the messages I was discovering! I knew that I really couldn’t say anything new on those topics, but I might be able to say it in a new way, in a gentler, funnier, softer way. I know I can’t change the fact that most photographs of models and stars are altered to be impossibly flawless, and that fashion still insists on calling size 12 plus-size (!). I know I can’t change the fact that the cute illustrations of women on cards, magazines, even blogs are skinny girls happily shopping for shoes (nothing against shoe shopping mind you!) But I have a gift for drawing people, and a passion for healing this wound that has harmed so many women, and so without really even planning it, I’ve become an advocate for size acceptance and positive body image through my art.

FGG: Do you see any changes in recent years about attitudes toward overweight women and how they’re depicted in the media (or represented in the marketplace)?

EP: Without question, there has been a very recent shift in attitudes towards larger women. One the one extreme hand, there are groups of hateful fat-bashers that blame obesity for everything from the failing health care system to low test scores in children, but on the other hand, there are books, movies, TV shows, blogs, online magazines, stores, fashion and resources for big girls that weren’t available even five years ago. There is a growing movement for “health at every size” rather than just a narrow focus on size as an indicator of health. The plus-size (really the normal) woman is no longer as invisible as she was, even though it is still somewhat surprising to see anyone in the media that is not rail thin.

FGG: We’re big Etsy lovers here, and I would think your work would strike a chord there. Do you sell your prints on Etsy.com, or have you considered it?

EP: I love Etsy too! I’m still juggling my teaching position with my artistic life, and right now I haven’t had the time to set up and maintain a shop. Hopefully I will pair up with the right partner to help me put out a line of prints and cards, and maybe a calendar, in 2010.

FGG: You published your first illustrated book, More to Love, on Amazon earlier this year, and I understand you’re working on a second book. Can you give us a hint about it?

EP: OK, just a hint, as I’m still working out the details with a publisher. The next book will be along the same line as More to Love, short messages paired with fun illustrations, with the intention of putting a lighter touch to an often painful topic. Each page will feature a “Big Girl” who is doing everything and anything except crying. And I’m also working on an expanded version of More to Love! Because as we all know…bigger is better!

FGG: Our missions are just about identical: to encourage women to live full, exciting and satisfying lives NOW instead of waiting until they’re a magical size or weight. What would you say to FGG readers about that philosophy?

EP: Yes, yes and yes! Each of us gets our own amazing body for the duration of our life, and any moment that is spent wishing, pretending or agonizing over having a different body is time that you will never get back. It is commonly said that nobody ever says on her deathbed “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” I don’t think anybody will ever say on their deathbed “I wish I had spent more time feeling bad about my butt” or “I’m so glad I stopped myself from doing (whatever) because I thought I was too fat.” It’s your life; live it up!

FGG: OK, before you go: tell us something most people don’t know about you?

EP: Hmmm…so many secrets, so little time! Even though nobody ever sees it except my husband, and despite having a “mommy belly,” I have a gold ring in my navel, just for fun.

Thank you, Elizabeth! Elizabeth’s illustrated book, More to Love, is available for purchase at Amazon.com.

Photo: Swimsuits on the Line by Ed Yourdon.

Today’s guest post is an essay by Jill Long, an artist and married mom of two who lives near Madison, Wisconsin. You can see some of her work at beaulahblue.etsy.com.

A New Voice

I wore a swimsuit today. A swimsuit. My swimsuit. One layer of clothes was removed and I stood practically bare in front of seven strangers, 5 a.m. and ready for laps. I’d removed more than clothes. I stood naked, layers and layers and layers of what removed? Shame? Something has changed in me.

I know when I started getting fat. We moved. Far away. My husband had a wonderful job that he loved, but it kept him at work until seven or eight or later every night. I had a wonderful job that I loved, but it kept me at home all day with two small kids and a pantry full of food. And I thought I had to be perfect, my kids had to be perfect, my house had to be perfect. And then I had to have another job, too, because people always asked, “What do you do?” and then they got that look on their face that said, “Oh.” Back then, when I was always alone and so young, I thought it mattered, what they thought. So I got up at six and took care of my kids all day and then stayed up until two or three trying to build an art business, slept for a few hours and then ate to keep myself awake during the day. As I started to gain weight and lose sleep, a voice in my head started to tell me some awful things.

And then, we moved and we moved and we moved. I always had plans to lose weight or exercise or make some change, but the change was always pack, or paint, or set up our lives, or dismantle our lives. It didn’t matter, because that voice, that voice that had started to tell me those awful things, had already convinced me that I had no value. It convinced me that I would never be successful at anything. It convinced me that I am not worth getting to know. It convinced me that I am dumb and ugly and uninteresting and illiterate and a million other things. It even convinced me that chocolate made me feel better than anything.

I haven’t worn shorts in seven years. I never wear short sleeves. It’s not so much because I think I look hideous; I do think I look hideous. But before today, I would never have considered subjecting others to my hideous body. I know that’s not such a crazy idea because I’ve heard what people say: why don’t they just f%cking lose weight, “fat ass” this and “fat ass” that, and a million other awful things said about fat people. Heck, I’ve probably laughed at some of them. I just happen to know why they haven’t f%cking lost weight: it isn’t always f%cking easy.

But something has changed in me: I think that voice might be a liar.

A guest post by actress Jenny Gattone

Think of me as a war correspondent- frankly, it’s a jungle out here. I speak of course, of the City of Angels. And I’m right in the thick of the battle – a chubby girl trying to make it as an actor in Hollywood.

I like to joke that when I’m on set I feel like a bull in a china shop. Film actresses are incredibly tiny, so I’m only half-kidding. I lived and worked in New York for about five years before doing a pilot, acquiring a manager, and moving across the country to work with said manager. I was terrified, wondering what would happen to me in the much more cookie-cutter world of Hollywood. What’s interesting, though, is that I actually work more in LA than I ever did in New York. A LOT more. I’m happy to tell you that despite how things look on television, Los Angeles is not a sea of blond highlights and fake boobs.

Well, maybe a little. There is a more uniform sense of what is beautiful here. I’ll be honest: show business, no matter where you are, is rough on a chubby girl. There are going to be directors that flat out will not cast a fat girl no matter how fierce you are. You may be compared to appliances (in my case, a refrigerator), and the blunt and objective way people will deal with your looks can be soul-sucking. But that’s true for every actor. On the bright side, I can look at an audition breakdown and peg the chubby girl part. (Hint: if they don’t flat out say fat, they usually mention the character’s love of food. Seriously.)

But as rough as it is on a chubby girl, it’s actually tougher on the non-chubby girls. You couldn’t pay me enough to be an ingénue in this town. No way, not with what I see some of my friends go through. A chubby girl is an as-is purchase. What you see is what you get. What are they going to do, say “How fast can you lose 75 pounds?” Yeah, sure, give me a year. And it’s a loooooooong day on a set. The skinny girls look so sad when lunch is served and they turn it down. Shoot, heck yeah I want a sandwich, I’ve been here nine hours!

One thing I’ve learned through LA’s skewed sense of beauty is that thin girls don’t really have a leg up in the self-image department. I haven’t seriously entertained the idea that being thin would solve all my problems since I was a teenager, but I was still astounded to discover that I seem to be more comfortable in my own skin than many of my thinner peers. It makes me sad to see so many of them try to come to terms with the ways in which they don’t resemble a swizzle stick and accept those things as “flaws.” It’s frustrating the way women are expected to live up to those unhealthy standards of thinness. I would love to see a full-scale revolution of women in this business. I would love to see us all, regardless of shape or size, stand up and say, “Fuck this!”

Unfortunately, there will always be women who will happily maintain a double-digit weight to work in film.

Right now you must be thinking, so how are things not as bad in LA as they look? My friends, it’s all attitude. You have to rise above the mind games. You have to grow a thick skin and see how beautiful you are no matter what they throw at you. Because truth is, most on-screen women aren’t any more beautiful than you and I; it’s amazing what a well-paid beauty professional in this town can do for any actress.

So girls, no matter what society tells you – directly or indirectly – about what is and isn’t beautiful and how appropriate it is to recognize and appreciate yours, screw them – feel it, recognize and appreciate it anyway. I try to, and I’m getting better and better at it as I go. Besides, I’m doing all right here. I’ve done a couple pilots, gone in for some cool films, I belong to a fantastic theatre company in Hollywood that I absolutely love, and I’m in my second show this year.

I also collaborated on a screenplay that’s now in pre-production. The heroine? A chubby girl. Because there’s no shortage of us off-camera, and one of my career goals is to get more of us in front of it.

Jenny Gattone

Keep your cool at your next check-up. Image by House of Sims on flickr.

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., is our inaugural guest blogger (and the crowd goes wild!). Karen is a psychotherapist and author who specializes in the psychology of eating. Please give Karen a warm FGG welcome, share your experiences, and ask any questions you may have in the comments section. –The FGG Editorial Team

When you’re fat, the only thing more worrisome than the bad news you might hear when you visit the doctor is agonizing about what might be said about your weight. You’re likely to get an unsolicited earful. One of my clients was admonished that she could positively not see the doctor unless she weighed in. Another never got a chance to share her health concerns because her physician spent the entire visit urging her to get lap-band surgery. Yet another was told she’d be refused treatment by her nurse practitioner unless she dropped 40 pounds.

What’s a girl to do if she needs a check up or has a health emergency and happens to be a few score overweight?

Be a smart shopper. Remember that you are first and foremost a consumer of services and that it’s up to you to see that you get what you (or the insurance company) are paying for. Everyone is entitled to go to a health professional and have their concerns heard and responded to in an appropriate and professional manner. Everyone is entitled to be shown respect, kindness and compassion when they walk through that office door. And, everyone is entitled to assert their needs and express dismay/anger/frustration when they’re not met—including fat girls.

Speak up. If you’re unhappy with how you’re treated by health professionals, say so, not only to teach them about how you want to be treated, but to empower yourself. If you’re seeing a healthcare provider for the first time, just be yourself and try not to be anxious. There are no rules. Maybe you want to talk about your weight and maybe you don’t. It’s fine to say that weight is a sensitive issue and that you prefer to talk about it when you know the provider better. It’s also fine to say nothing at all in defense of your reticence.

If providers insist, stand on the scale so you’re facing away from the mechanism that measures your weight, and ask staff not to say the number aloud if you don’t want to hear it. Or be bold and tell them that you know you’re overweight and don’t need the scale to tell you so. Better yet, volunteer whether your weight has changed, even if it’s gone up. Take charge—ask why they need to know the exact number, why a weight range isn’t sufficient. If you’re receiving medication, medical staff might want a specific number to assess correct dosage.

Think ahead. Call before an appointment if you’re worried you won’t receive a gown large enough to discretely cover your body. Maybe even suggest the practice invest in plus-size gowns if they lack them. If you require help getting up on the table, ask for a stool and take your time climbing on. You’ll probably end up waiting for the doctor anyway, so what’s the rush?

Be prepared. In the case of visiting a health care practitioner who has hassled you about your weight in the past, feel free to provide some education that it’s fitness and health that count, not simply poundage. Do some Internet research and bring it along. If you’re taking action to lower your weight and feel like it, tell the doctor. Maybe you’ve joined a gym, started therapy or are reading my books. Most importantly, stay calm and maintain control of the agenda. Doctors’ visits seem to be getting shorter and shorter, so write down your questions and concerns ahead of time and tick off items as you get responses. If the doctor brings up your size, try a gentle reminder that weight isn’t the issue at hand. If he or she presses on, make the reminder a teeny bit less gentle.

Go for a team or collaborative approach, not a combative one. Most health care professionals really do want you to improve your health and often feel powerless to help you. Leave the chip on your shoulder behind and try not to personalize or read intentions that aren’t there into well-meaning or professional remarks. Although you don’t want a provider who treats you like a naughty child, you also don’t want to act like one.

Exercise your right to walk. Don’t be afraid to change practitioners. People do it all the time for any number of reasons. I’m on my third GP since I moved to Sarasota almost four years ago. Keep at it until you find someone you trust who listens to your questions and concerns. You deserve to have health care providers who will help you take excellent care of yourself.

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, national speaker and international author who is an expert on the psychology of eating. She has a private practice in Sarasota, FL and does world-wide telephone therapy. Learn more about her and her books at EatingNormal.com and NiceGirlsFinishFat.com.