The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Nothing says “vacation” like accessorizing with a paper umbrella

If you caught last week’s Part I of our Guide to Taking a Cruise (and if you haven’t yet, what are you waiting for?) you’re in good shape when it comes to researching and packing for the big trip. Read on for ways to make yourself at home aboard your chosen vessel.

Cruise with confidence, ladies!

Many first-time cruisers feel anxiety about their safety aboard a large liner, or what will happen in case of an emergency. Rest assured that every cruise, no matter what line you choose, begins with a mandatory safety drill for all passengers. During your first night on the ship, you’ll don a life jacket and gather with your fellow passengers (likely in the theater or auditorium) as staff review all safety procedures.

If you’re cruising as a fat girl, you may also have concerns about the logistics of these safety procedures. Questions range from “Will the life jacket fit?” to “How safe are those lifeboats, anyway?” While the best resource for answering your specific questions is often the cruise line staff (and I have heard of travelers bringing their own life jackets in extreme circumstances), take comfort in the fact that these devices are incredibly adjustable. Even for an incredibly, um, over-blessed girl like me, the most uncomfortable part of the safety drill wasn’t wearing a big, awkward vest over my girls – it was sitting in a squinchy auditorium chair (more on those later) during the lengthy rundown. Further, all of the transitional vehicles you’ll encounter on a cruise (lifeboats, tenders to take you to and from smaller islands, etc.) are tested and sturdy enough to withstand far more than any of us could throw at them.

Three words for stateroom selection: Location, location, location.

Part I of this Guide asked you to sort out your priorities for your overall cruise experience, and the same rules apply when choosing your stateroom. Get out the map of your cruise ship (visit your line’s web site or Cruise Deck Plans) and do some research. Avoid booking a room that adjoins with another unless you’re traveling as a family or group and know exactly who you’ll place on the other side of that wall. If you’re a light sleeper or otherwise noise-sensitive, you’ll want to steer clear of rooms under hotspot common areas like restaurants, pools, theaters, or casinos. Elevators and stairways also generate lots of noise and can be heavily trafficked at all hours, so the rooms farthest away will be the quietest and experience the fewest passerby disruptions. If mobility is an issue, however, opt for a location near the elevators so you’re not forced to cover the length of a hallway every time you visit your room. Wheelchair-accessible rooms are also available.

Veteran tip: As a general rule, the closer you are to the back of the ship, the greater the chances you’ll be affected by machinery noise (especially from the rudders) and ship movement. If you’re prone to motion sickness, choose a stateroom as close to the front of the ship as possible.

If your stateroom were truly a state, it would be Rhode Island.

Although the average hotel room offers approximately 300 square feet of space, the equivalent price point in cruise cabin accommodations only averages between 150-200 square feet. Unless you upgrade to a suite, mini-suite or villa level, your whole cabin – beds, seating and dressing areas and yes, the bathroom – will fit in a narrow space about as large as a medium-size bedroom. The good news is that cruises offer so much to see and experience that most travelers don’t spend much time in their staterooms unless they’re sleeping, changing or getting ready for the day. My friends and I put that theory to the test in 2008 when three of us shared a single, interior (windowless) stateroom for nine days. (You’d be amazed how much luggage will stow under a twin bed.)

Most dual-occupancy staterooms provide two twin beds that can be combined to form a queen; if you’re booking a cabin that accommodates three or four passengers (as we did on the NCL Jewel) you may also encounter upper berths that fold down from the wall to create a bunk bed-like effect above the twin beds. While the upper berths may sleep a child comfortably and safely, they are decidedly not fat girl-friendly. We took one look at the relatively flimsy bolts and hinges and decided we’d be pulling the mattress off the platform and down to the floor for bedtimes. There was exactly enough space between the twin beds to slide the third twin mattress, and we each climbed in and out of our respective bed from the foot.

Veteran tip: Unless you’re ready to get super cozy and take turns hitting the floor, it’s worth checking to see if a mini-suite with a pullout sofa would be comparable in price or a worthwhile splurge.

Bathroom accommodations require some creative maneuvering.

Even if you’re flush enough to afford a suite or a room with a balcony, don’t expect the upgrade to automatically extend to the bathroom. Bathing accommodations remain mega-tight and shower-only unless you spring for the highest price digs, which then may include shower/tub combos and space enough to not bang into walls when turning around. Otherwise, plan to spend as little time in the bathroom as possible and get your relaxation fix poolside or at the spa.

Bathroom layouts vary from ship to ship. Some designs include glass or plastic partitions between the toilet/sink/shower portions of the room; others turn the toilet at an odd angle to accommodate the cramped room layout. Toilets also frequently sit awkwardly close to the wall, forcing taller or heavier cruisers to adopt a sideways seated position (or temporarily remove the toilet paper holder) in order to provide hip clearance and avoid knees hitting the forward wall.

When it comes to the shower, expect another snug experience. Whether the space is closed off with a shower curtain or a door, there won’t be much room to spare. This is another subject ripe for the boards at Cruise Critic or CruiseMates, where you can read firsthand accounts from fellow travelers — some members will even have specific room measurements or photos to share. Everyone in our plus-sized group did fine in the NCL shower, but if necessary, you can always ask for extra towels to line the floor outside the shower area if the curtain or door won’t close fully. Wheelchair-accessible rooms offer more generously sized, roll-in showers, but ships offer limited quantities of these rooms and they are often occupied by cruisers requiring a chair for day-to-day mobility.

Veteran tip: Another great option for more spacious showering (and leg shaving!) is to visit the ship’s fitness center, where you’ll find larger shower stalls and possibly in-stall seating.

“All-inclusive” doesn’t cover everything.

Whether you’re cruising freestyle or sitting down to formal dinners, the food is sure to be decadent, plentiful and rich with variety. Avoid any unwelcome surprises by knowing exactly what your “all-inclusive” package really includes. In most cases, all food served in onboard restaurants will be included (some ships may charge a cover for certain restaurants; see Part I of this Guide). Many ships extend the all-inclusive rule to a limited menu of room service items as well. Coffee is included, but soft drinks and alcohol are not. Each time you purchase a non-included beverage, the bartender or wait staff will swipe your cruise ID just like a credit card, with all charges (usually including a transactional gratuity) going directly onto your room bill.

If soft drinks are a must-have (or if you’re hoping to keep your umbrella drink expenses to a manageable amount), consider purchasing an all-you-can-drink soda pass. For a fixed price (usually priced out per day; we paid approximately $55 for nine days), you get a sticker or card entitling you to free fill-ups anywhere on the ship. The price may seem steep, but with each can/glass of Diet Coke costing $2-$4, this was cheaper than ordering separate drinks – plus gratuities – a few times per day. Be ready to make a decision quickly, though – this offer is usually only valid on the first day of your voyage. And if you’re picky about Coke vs. Pepsi, you may be out of luck.

Make your dining experience easy and enjoyable.

When it comes to seating, freestyle cruisers will encounter the same realities present in mainland restaurants: each setting will offer a different table, booth and seating configuration, so it’s a matter of requesting the setup that’s most comfortable for you. Try doing a tour of the many dining room options after getting settled on the ship so you know which ones will offer challenges (narrow armchairs, for example) and plan your meals accordingly.

If you’re opting for traditional dining room meals, check in with the maitre d’ before your first meal and request a chair with no arms, or a table that’s easily accessible from a main aisle so no one needs to squeeze by your chair, etc. Taking care of this when you first board the ship will usually enable you to reserve your preferred table and seat for the duration of the cruise.

Veteran tip: Research the tipping policy on your ship. Many cruise lines employ a fixed gratuity scale (e.g. $10 per day, automatically billed to your room account) to “streamline” tipping on the boat and cover the many staff members you encounter during your voyage. Other lines offer the option to increase/decrease the gratuity provided to housekeeping vs. dining staff, etc. Be sure you know how much you’ll be billed and what other services might incur additional gratuities (spa services, each bar beverage etc.).

There’s a way to feel comfortable in almost any part of the ship.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned by now it’s that cruises have something for everyone, and that includes a comfy place to sit. From poolside restaurants to various bars and lounges, armless chairs, stools and loveseats are plentiful. Deck chairs are remarkably robust and usually armless. Sometimes the more tucked-away outer promenades will even have stacks of lounge chairs to set up in sun or shade. One of our favorite spots on the Jewel was a velvety plush, oversized chaise in the largest lounge; it comfortably accommodated three sprawling cat-nappers on our at-sea days.

The one exception to the “make you comfy” rule seems to be the auditorium seating in the ship theaters. Travelers on most ships report these seats to be narrow (ours sure were) and without the moveable armrests you often find at the local multiplex. Once again, scope out the theater during (or after) the mandatory emergency drill and see if there are armless chairs. These will likely fill quickly during shows, as will aisle or end-of-row seating. If you plan to attend one or more shows (NCL’s Cirque Bijou performance was amazing), be sure to hit the theater early to score your preferred seat.

Lastly, never be afraid to ask the ship’s staff for recommendations or assistance with any special need or request you might have. They’re accustomed to solving on-board challenges and are there to make your cruise experience all it can be. Good luck and happy sailing!

What’s the one thing you wish someone had told you before you cruised? Or what questions do you still have? Tell us in comments.

This week’s Fat Girl’s Guide is the first installment of a two-part series. Part I takes you through all your cruise prep – from research to wardrobe. Next week’s Guide will be crammed with ways to make the most of your onboard experience.

A few things are certain on a cruise: Drinks will be ridiculously expensive. By Day 3, you’ll begin to recognize other passengers and to make up nicknames and stories for them (“Needs-to-Lay-Off-the-Spray-Tan Lady,” “Guy with Giant Smurf Tattoo”). If your name is “Angela,” you will be “The Girl Who Over-Packed” and you will never live it down.

You’ll notice one assumption conspicuously absent from that list of guarantees: Everyone will be thin, sporty and cover-model gorgeous.

If anyone has ever told you that fat people don’t cruise, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. The truth is, unless you’re taking a specialty voyage geared toward a particular audience (singles, families, LGBT community, under-30, BBW, etc.), your fellow travelers will represent all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and activity levels. Cruising while fat is the same as tackling any other opportunity — you just need a game plan. And maybe some Dramamine.

Determine your travel style.

The options are almost limitless when it comes to voyage length, destination, ship amenities and formality level, so a savvy girl and her traveling companion(s) need to set a few basic priorities before booking. Will you spend most of your time on the ship, or do you plan to see the sights at each port? What amenities are the most important to you? Fabulous spa? Tons of pools? Luxurious bedding? Unique on-board activities like bowling or a climbing wall? Do you want lots of kid-friendly activities or a more relaxed, adult pace? Lengthier cruises tend to attract more seasoned travelers and retirees, while voyages during school breaks will be loaded with kids. Compile a list of must-haves (spa!), negotiables (bedding), and deal-breakers (tons of kids if you’re looking for a singles experience) and see if you can find a cruise line and voyage that meets your needs.

Your dining experience requires more planning than you think.

We know fat girls sometimes feel more confident in casual wear vs. formal (or vice versa), so it’s important to know your comfort level before committing to a particular ship. Do you love the idea of getting dressed up in the evening, chatting with new friends and having a set dinner time? You’ll probably be a fan of more traditional cruises, offered by many lines (Carnival is one example). Although a number of lines have begun offering flexible dinner times or a 24-hour cafeteria on some ships, the traditional cruise dinner experience matches you with a set group of dining companions at a fixed time throughout your voyage. Dress codes are more formal as well, and some may require cocktail attire.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of chatting up new people, or if you enjoy a more casual experience and a higher level of flexibility, you’re definitely a candidate for “freestyle” cruising. Employed most notably by Norwegian, but gaining traction on other lines, freestyle is just what it sounds like — freedom to choose where and when you eat, and with whom you share meals. During our nine days aboard the Norwegian Jewel, my friends and I dined in eight different restaurants at times ranging from 5:30-10:30 p.m. With the exception of the Japanese steakhouse, we never shared tables with other passengers. Shorts, jeans and tank tops are off-limits everywhere but the buffet, but basic, casual cruise wear (check with your line for their rules on casual and formal dress) was appropriate for all other restaurants.

Veteran tip: Even if you cruise freestyle, be prepared to do some on-board planning. Reservations (made up to 24 hours in advance) are usually required at non-buffet restaurants, while a few of the boutique dining options (steak house, hibachi, Asian cuisine) required a $10-$20 cover charge.

Once you’ve set your priorities, dig in to researching, purchasing and planning.

Put time and thought into planning your cruise vacation. If you’ve heard good things about a particular cruise line, or spotted a great bargain, explore every inch of the web site, including the FAQ and virtual tours of staterooms, dining rooms and amenities. Many lines will offer basic info in the sections for first-time cruisers and some sites also offer a community area to network with other passengers.

For feedback beyond the colorful marketing pictures and exciting descriptions, turn to independent web sites like Cruise Diva, which offers summaries and reviews of each cruise line’s concept, in addition to the individual ships in its fleet. Cruise Critic and CruiseMates each provide news and reviews, as well as bustling online communities that are phenomenal resources. Comb through discussion threads by cruise line or topic (Cruise Critic is even searchable), or create a user account and post your own questions. Many of the message boardies are hardcore — having traveled on a dozen or more cruises — so their insights are usually pretty helpful. You also may be surprised to see how many of the questions pertain to weight issues or fears about size.

Veteran tip: Cruise lines take care of their online communities. On a recent  NCL sailing, members of an active message board group attended an exclusive on-board party and were invited to tour the ship’s bridge and rub elbows with the captain.

Read the fine print before booking excursions.

Both the cruise line’s web site and the independent message boards provide a wealth of information regarding excursions offered at every port. Again, corporate descriptions will be glossier, while you’ll get more of the down-and-dirty scoop from fellow travelers. Whether deciding on a cruise-sponsored excursion (higher costs but more accountability to you as the customer) or seeking an independent tour guide or vendor in a port city (lower costs, smaller group sizes, more customer responsibility to vet thoroughly), be sure you understand everything about the activities. Some excursions (zip lines, ATV travel, helicopter tours, some smaller boats or kayaks) will have clearly outlined weight limits of 200 lbs, 250 lbs, 400 pounds per 2-person boat, etc. Many tours and excursions will outline the exertion level involved or provide a list of activities a participant must be able to accomplish (climbing stairs, walking a mile, walking on uneven terrain, climbing into and out of boat, etc.). Again, many travelers on message boards will have done these activities and can give you honest feedback. If you feel nervous or unsure about any portion of a description, never hesitate to contact the cruise line or the vendor.

While there are definitely some activities off-limits to larger travelers (I doubt I’ll ever be welcome on a zip line!), it’s important to realize the vast majority of the options are things most of us can do. There wasn’t a  remotely skinny person in our Caribbean travel group, yet we snorkeled, climbed catamaran ladders, swam with dolphins, hiked down to view a volcano, rode tenders out to play with stingrays, and toured an island on an 18-person bus that resembled a clown car. Be honest with yourself about your limitations, but don’t let worries over your size keep you from trying something new.

Pack a few different swimwear pieces.

The two-suit rule is a gimme; no one likes climbing into a wet swimsuit, and sardine-can staterooms don’t afford great options for ventilated drying. Aside from doubling up, however,  you may want to consider multiple styles of swimwear (like a skirted option and a one-piece, even if you’re vehemently pro-skirt) or top & bottom separates that you can mix and match, especially once you determine which excursions you’ll be taking. Dressing for a tour of Mayan ruins or a day at the beach is pretty easy, but several of the tropical excursions involve multiple components that require you to be clothed one minute (in a local restaurant, for example) and ready for swimming the next. For these swim/land hybrid excursions, don’t wear a swim dress with a built-in skirt if you hope to put a pair of shorts or pants over it for the land portion. Few things are as uncomfortable as trudging around for several hours with a soaking-wet mass of fabric balled up at your waist (the skirt part on many swim dresses takes forever to dry). I MacGuyvered this problem when I encountered it by gathering the skirt at one side with an elastic hair band, but believe me, it was not my finest hour.

Look for quick-drying, versatile, over-the-suit options, like these multipurpose shorts from Junonia, available in sizes up to 4X. We also like the selection of swim shorts and activewear from lines such as Lands End, Danskin or Faded Glory. And even if you’re not leaving the ship, remember to pack a cover-up, sarong or pair of swim shorts for the lengthy trips between your stateroom and the pool.

Veteran tip: Plan your excursion outfits to be useful regardless of activity order. Our day in St. Lucia was described chronologically as land/lunch/swim/sail, but we learned that half the groups go in reverse order to manage crowding with the tour vendors.

Supportive, broken-in shoes or sandals are a must.

Whether you plan to disembark at every port or just chill on the ship, prepare to do a good amount of walking. Cruise ships are enormous floating civilizations, and the distance you’ll cover just traveling between your room and the various locations onboard will surprise you. Additionally, some excursions may involve wet conditions, walking over varied terrain, climbing up or down stairs, etc. I’ve never been able to walk comfortably in flip-flops; they don’t stay on my feet and they provide zero support. If you’re like me, consider sandals from Chaco or Teva, which offer good tread while providing ventilation and supportive ankle straps. There’s also the Crocs option. Yes, they are as fugly as shoes come, but – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they were a godsend for the port days when our itinerary involved a sloshy catamaran ride, stops to swim and snorkel, hiking down into a volcano, and a bus tour of the island – all in a single outfit. Crocs were easy to clean when sandy or dirty, they went from wet to dry conditions without problem, and I didn’t care if I ruined or lost them.

Veteran tip: Get a rush of accomplishment by wearing a pedometer to track all those steps you’ll take during your cruise. Plus, you’ll know without a doubt you’ve earned that trip to the midnight chocoholic buffet!

Come back next Thursday for Part II — all about selecting/maximizing your stateroom, on-board accommodations and (of course) the food! In the meantime: Been cruisin’? Tell us your packing must-haves or share tips for finding a fat girl-friendly ship and excursions that excite.

Maria, testing her “climbing legs”

A couple of weeks ago my friend and fellow Biggest Little City Losers contestant, Maria, called with a proposition. It went a little something like this:

Her: “We should go rock climbing tomorrow!”
Me: “Uhhhh…”
Her: “Come on, it would be fun!”
Me: “Uhhh…”

Turns out she had called a local rock climbing gym to see if they’d be interested in sponsoring a team challenge for the Biggest Little City Losers. Not only were they interested, they were really psyched, and they wanted Maria and I to come by for a couple of complementary climbing lessons before bringing the whole group in.

Now let me just say that I don’t typically have a fear of trying new or weird things. I’ve been hiking, biking, scrambling, kayaking and canoeing, I’ve washed my hair in icy cold Minnesota lakes and washed my clothes in humid, mosquito-infested North Carolina ones. I have moved long distances on short notice with only a vague idea of where I’d live and what I’d do. My personal blog has lived at adventurejournalist.com for almost ten years, and I catered my own wilderness wedding. You get the idea.

But I have never been rock climbing. This is not for a lack of opportunity, my husband is an avid rock and ice climber and I live in one of the most popular regions for rock climbing in the continental United States. The truth is, I haven’t been rock climbing because:

1. I am deathly afraid of heights.
2. I am especially afraid of heights in which I, overweight by a good number of pounds, am dangling from a rope with my life in the hands of one person wayyyyy down there who is using nothing more than their own body weight and a tiny device that sounds like an extinct bird, a frail bird, which may be why it’s extinct, to keep me alive.

That, and I’ve heard the shoes are uncomfortable.

But because I was the group leader, and because I’d been preaching the virtues of overcoming fears and trying difficult things, I was stuck. I would have to go rock climbing. So with no idea what to expect, we made arrangements to meet the following morning at Rocksport in Reno.

Fast forward two scary hours, and my conclusion was: rock climbing is hard. But it can be conquered – whether you’re 100 pounds or 300.

Here’s what we learned:

Climbing harnesses come in generous sizes. This was a pleasant surprise. Instead of letting them out to fit our butts and bellies, we actually had to tighten them down. Bonus ego boost! And they were pretty comfortable to wear. Another surprise. Though fair warning: those of us who like to wear long shirts to cover our abs and hips will have to suck it up – the harness, roped in, bares all.

Don’t worry if you’re a positively prolific perspirer. Lots of new climbers worry that their hands will slip off the holds if they get too sweaty, a common issue with overweight women and men. Every climber has a bag of chalk clipped to their harness, perfect for dipping sweaty hands to give them dry “tread” to grab with. Having chalky hands seemed to instill psychological confidence, too.

Tied properly, those ropes hold more than you think. I took one look at that deceptively thin rope with the tiny knot at the end and thought, no way is that thing gonna hold either of us. I wondered for several deer-in-the-headlights minutes if they had ever tested those ropes on people built like Maria and I. They assured us they’ve seen, and belayed, far bigger. So I roped in, and, as evidenced my ability to write this guide, they did hold.

The climbing is actually the easy part. It’s coming down that’s scary. Proper form coming down the wall is to completely let go of the holds and wrap your hands around the rope (a terrifying moment), forming an L-shape with your body so that you’re “sitting” on the air with your feet against the rock. Oy. The belayer, on the ground (in this case a woman of about 120 pounds), then slowly releases the rope through the extinct bird device, called a Grigri, lowering you as you walk your feet down the face of the rock.

Take advantage of ground anchoring where available. And it really should be available everywhere you climb. These are multiple loops of strong cloth or other material anchored to the ground that a belayer can clip into to stabilize themselves against the weight of the climber. If a climber should slip or let go of the wall before the belayer has the rope in proper position and coming correctly through the Grigri, he or she can easily find themselves launching up off the ground and soon face to face with a very surprised climber.

Keeping your whole body close to the rock wall is key. While most of what I learned about climbing shattered the myth that even significantly overweight women can’t or shouldn’t do it, I did learn that anyone carrying around extra weight is at a disadvantage on straight verticals solely because of center-of-gravity fluctuations. We climbed the beginner’s wall, and the slight incline was a big help for us as we learned to stick close. When we tried the vertical wall it was much more difficult to stay on, as gravity was yanking at our ample butts the whole time. Strengthening our forearms and further training to keep our bodies flush against the rock face should help, but I’m afraid pure verticals are an area most overweight folks are likely to find challenging.

The shoes really are uncomfortable. Climbing shoes are designed to make the front of your foot as tiny as possible so it can work with the smallest of holds. Your big toe faces straight forward, and, in the words of our climbing instructor, the rest of your toes should fit in there ’somewhere.’ The first climb I asked for my real shoe size and winced the whole time. The second time around, I asked for a half size larger than I normally take – much better, and no loss of toe flexibility or agility on the rock face.

For me the most interesting part was the lack of height-related fear I expected (this from the girl who can’t look out, or even approach, a 10th floor glass window), even when I made it 3/4 of the way up the wall and looked down. It did seem like the biggest obstacle wasn’t weight or inexperience or even height, but trust: both in myself and in my belay partner. Once we mastered that, we were going up and down the wall effortlessly.

OK, maybe not effortlessly. But at least the gasping and screeching subsided after the first couple of runs.

Have you ever been climbing? Do you have any advice for our readers? Lay it on us in comments!

Note: this guide covered my own experience climbing, which can differ from gym to gym and is unique to indoor environments. I didn’t include technical instructions or equipment information because it’s important to be trained by a professional to use the unique facilities, equipment and protocol at the climbing center you’ve chosen.

Jennifer Rice, owning it on the dance floor

Music and dance are universal among every human culture, and some of the most memorable moments in our lives  and in our favorite movies involve dance. (Scent of a Woman, anyone? Or perhaps you’re a Singing in the Rain kind of girl).  Like music and singing, there’s just something that connects us when we see the human body move, either in time with other bodies or with grace or fiery intensity on its own. While the dance community isn’t quite renowned for body acceptance (yet), times are changing and new forms of dance are evolving along with them, in the arts (check out The Big Ballet), fitness (or do you prefer Vixen Fitness?) and just for fun (Heard of hooping? Read on to learn more). Maybe you’ve always wanted to dance but never took the time. Perhaps you’re shy about putting yourself out there, or worried about any physical limitations due to your size or what shape you’re in (or aren’t). Girls, this is the guide for you.

What will people think of a fat girl dancing?

You know what we’re going to say to this one, right? Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Sure, we make it sound easy to just get out there and shake what your mama gave you when in reality, it isn’t. It’s scary wondering if we’ll be the biggest girl in the room, or unable to move with the rest of the class because we’re novices. We’re all frightened of people mocking or questioning us–it’s human nature.

But taking chances on our own behalf is invigorating, and the more often we nudge our toes past our carefully padded comfort zones, the easier it becomes over time. “We women need to have as much joy in our lives as possible,” says Jennifer Rice, a former competitive swing dancer, curvy girl, and founder of TailspinHoops.com, a site dedicated to “hooping,” a relatively new dance form using – you guessed it – hula hoops. “With all of the obligations we have these days, we need to get back to doing the things that fuel us emotionally and spiritually,” she adds. “If you really want to learn how to dance, denying yourself the joy you’ll feel and that you know in your heart you were meant to experience is to deny one of the reasons you were put on this earth.”

What type of dance should I choose, and are there any forms I should avoid?

“There are two ways to approach this,” says Rochelle Rice (no relation to Jennifer), author of Real Fitness for Real Women and a fitness and dance instructor for plus size women.  “Either try a few things to see what feels right for your body and abilities, or try some of the curvier dance classes, like African, Bollywood, or belly dancing. In Bollywood especially, the movement is slow and centered on the pelvis and the arms, providing a nice way to connect with the body.”

Either way, go for something you think you’ll have fun doing or that you’ve wanted to try for a while. “The best dance styles are the ones that fit your personality and your body,” says Vanessa Isaac, a dance and fitness instructor who created the popular Brazilian Dance Workout. Isaac’s favorites for beginners include: ballroom, belly dancing, modern, salsa, Brazilian, samba (and Latin dance in general), and Nia.

As far as styles to avoid, “hip hop can be hard on the joints, especially if you have an instructor who teaches dance combinations with a lot of level changes (like quickly popping up from a squatting position),” says Jennifer Rice. “Lindy hop, a form of swing dancing, can be tough on the knees for a larger girl because there’s a lot of swiveling involved.” That’s not to say you shouldn’t try these dance forms, but if you aren’t limber in certain areas or have knee or other joint issues, talk with your instructor first and ask about modifying certain moves.

Where should I take lessons, and what should I look for in an instructor or class?

If you’re just starting out, look for beginner level classes – local park districts, recreation centers, and community colleges usually offer beginner level courses that allow students to get a feel for a particular style. Always research what the class is about and the background of the instructor–credentials, how long he or she has been teaching, etc. “The best teachers are the ones with good fitness experience and education, are members of national associations, and are professional dancers themselves,” says Isaac. Talk with students to get a sense of either the style you’re interested in or a specific instructor or studio. If there’s a feeling of community and support in a class, that’s a good sign, says Isaac.

“Make sure to have an open dialogue with your instructor so he or she knows your individual needs,” says Rochelle Rice. “Even if they have limited experience with plus size students, if they’re good, they should be able to figure it out from an anatomical perspective and make modifications you can do instead.” So don’t be afraid to speak up in your favor if you’re unsure about any aspect of a class. “Remember that the right class for you exists and you’ll feel at home when you enter the room,” says Isaac. “It may be uncomfortable at first, but the energy of the people and the instructor will make you feel welcome.” Instructors should be responsive and attentive; if they’re more into themselves than you, or don’t seem receptive to having overweight students, move on and keep looking.

How should I dress?

“First and foremost, get a supportive bra like an Enell or a sports bra,” says Rochelle Rice. “This protects the breasts and makes it easier to move while doing turns and other moves.” Rice often sees women overdress for dance classes, which leaves them feeling overheated and flustered instead of focused on the movements. “Leave the sweatpants at home,” she says. A breathable v-neck tee and leggings that aren’t too thick are great for starters. Call ahead to ask what you should wear, since every type of dance will have its own attendant gear, from tap shoes to ballroom dance shoes with smooth soles that allow dancers to glide across the floor.

Are you ready to try this, girls? Please come back and tell us about it if you do. And remember, “It’s not just about getting out there and doing something new, it’s about holding your head high and owning it,” says Jennifer Rice.

That’s the FGG spirit. If that’s not enough inspiration for you, here’s a glimpse of how much fun it can be to get up, get out there, and dance, courtesy of Jennifer Rice:

Lacing Up by libraryann

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. Hard to avoid this time of year, we know. We also know that many of you are probably resolving to be healthier, regardless of what page just turned on the calendar or whether or not weight loss is part of that goal. That means savvy fat girls will be looking for New Year’s specials on gym memberships. Here’s how to get started:

First, work your brain

It’s common for women to worry about whether or not they “belong” at a health club because of their size. When we did a shout-out on Twitter seeking tips for fat girls looking to join a gym, one girl wrote:

Always be skinny? I hate how all the thin, toned people stare and wonder why I’m going there – well, duh!

We’ve all been to that gym, right, girls? And it’s no fun, we know.

Aside from telling you to generally avoid “meat market” health clubs in favor of one where people of many shapes and sizes are welcome, when you do settle on a club, here’s a new attitude to bring to this particular dance: nobody cares that you’re fat. There, I said it. Oh sure, some people do. Like, say . . . insensitive jerks. And as with fat people, jerks are everywhere, including at health clubs, so it only makes sense that we can make room to coexist.

We get that not all health clubs are created equally, nor do they have the same clientele. My small town rec center is worlds away from the ’sweaty, svelte singles’ club I belonged to in Chicago in my 20s. But many people I’ve talked to – fat, thin, male, female – who work out regularly say they’re always happy to see overweight people at their gyms because it’s good to see people taking care of themselves. So pack the attitude that “shame ain’t worth as much as you think” into your gym bag and start shopping for a place to work out.

And maybe times are changing – more of us are overweight in general, after all. However you may feel about The Biggest Loser, one former contestant maintains that this television show made it acceptable for fat people to work out in public. And that’s a very good thing. You can probably guess our attitude about this: act as if you belong wherever you are – fake it till you make it, if you must – and you’ll be one step closer to finding a gym that fits your needs.

Remember: the customer is always right

And in this case, you are the customer, not the other way around. “I think the phrase ‘joining a gym’ is inaccurate,” says Janice Kay Smith, founder of A Woman’s Gym in Chicago. “You’re really choosing a gym. If people take that view, they will be more particular and look closely at a location to see if it’s what they want.” Smith recommends asking yourself if this is an environment that’s going to make you feel comfortable. “You’re bringing them money,” she says. “It should be your attitude that they’re lucky to get you.”

Tee, our resident gym rat who has inspired over 30 people in her community to work out with her, had this to say about sussing out a new place. “When you walk in, ask for a tour, and mention that you’re trying to get in shape (or stronger, or whatever you biggest goal is) but that you’re not sure how to get started,” she says. “If they jump on it with excitement and start offering up ideas and options, that’s a great sign that you’ve got a fat-friendly gym. If you get the deer-in-the-headlights look, or a few polite smiles and nods and then back to the canned speech, keep looking.”

Commercials and ads will also give you a clue, says gym owner Smith. “If they only show slim women moving really fast, then that’s probably what the clientele will be like.”

Aim for variety

There are so many options available today, from no-frills, neighborhood Curves-style gyms to full-scale fitness centers. If you’re not yet in an established routine and haven’t found your favorite activities, go for something with more to get into than just your garden variety treadmills, bikes, circuit training area and classes. Athletic clubs often offer more, like racquetball, batting cages, volleyball, spinning, punching bags, ropes, a climbing wall, etc. Once you get comfortable using the gym in general, you’ll likely find yourself curious about some of these. Without those options, you may get bored and be tempted to use that as an excuse to stop going. Commit to exploring and experimenting with classes, equipment, boot camps and everything else the gym offers. Mixing up your workout and getting some fun sports action in there when you’re ready can boost your results fast.

Bring a friend

Tee was adamant about this tip: “I’m sure myriad studies have been done about how long people stay at a gym when they have a workout buddy vs. solo, but I can tell you from my own and many of my gym partners’ experience: I stay almost twice as long and have a whole lot more fun when I’ve got somebody to keep me company.” As with choosing the right gym, be sure to find the right workout partner for you. A Woman’s Gym owner Smith agrees. “Sometimes a buddy will make people get into the gym, but some people just talk to each other instead of working out, or if one doesn’t come one day, then the other won’t come,” says Smith. Her advice? Don’t partner with complainers, excuse-makers, or buddies who will drive you straight to Dairy Queen afterward.

If you don’t have a friend willing to go, or all your friends are thin and/or not into working out, then put an ad in the activity partners section in the community area on Craigslist. Be specific about what you’re looking for, including your schedule. And be sure to adhere basic Internet safety rules, like choosing a public place ( like your prospective health club) to meet for the first few times.

Take it for a test run

One of our fans on Twitter said it best:

Take advantage of free trials/passes before committing! Attend class, use sauna, etc. Don’t like the vibe? Keep lookin’!

“Before joining, stop by the gym at least twice at different times of the day to see what kind of crowd they get,” says Tee. “If it’s all gym bunnies and meatheads, you may want to look elsewhere.” Another Twitter fan wrote (and made us giggle): “Try to join a physical therapy clinic where they can specialize for weight issues and not everyone is a tiny workout whore.”

Check to see that the club has the types of activities that are right for your fitness level right now – including checking out basic and beginner classes, if you’re completely new to exercising or haven’t worked out in a while. Finally, if you need accountability, sign a contract. But try for six months instead of a full year, and then at the end of your six months, negotiate a better deal for staying on.

Ask for personal service

In the ten years since A Woman’s Gym opened its doors, Smith has designed tailor-made workout programs for each of her clients. “It has to be that way, because it’s my name on the door. And if a workout is not customized, they’re not going to keep coming,” she says. “If they think they might not have it down, or they might hurt themselves, or they’re doing it wrong, people are not going to come back.” If your prospective health club doesn’t offer personalized service, ask about the rates for personal trainers, and keep in mind that it might take more than just the standard, free one-hour session to get into your groove. Smith suggests asking for the best personal trainer for your needs and goals.

Finally, here are some more tips and tricks from our fabulous FGG readers from Twitter and Facebook – thanks for sharing your know-how with our readers, girls!

You just have to own it…your size, your fitness level, your life. Hold your head up, go there for yourself and no one else. Respect yourself for doing something for yourself. Push yourself as far as you can go, and compare yourself to no one. You’ll see more improvements quickly, recognize every one of them and build on them. Have a sense of humor. And if you are self conscious, join a women’s gym. Don’t try and do everything in your first visit…don’t expect to accomplish what you did 20, 30, 100 lbs ago. You’ve got to build to that. Above all…just go, girl.

If you are looking for a new apartment, make sure it has a gym (safe and well-lit). You will save money and it’s closer. No excuses.

Resist the urge to compare yourself to other women in the gym (I have to remind myself of that). Drink plenty of water and keep a small towel with you during your workout to wipe away sweat.

Now grab a gym bag, some affordable but cute workout clothes, and start your search. If you find (or have already found) a place that feels like home, tell us about it in the comments.

(We probably don’t need to say this, but just in case: you know your body best, but it’s a good idea to check with your regular medical professional to get the green light before starting any new workout routine).

Snowshoes by m.prinke

Today’s guide comes with a little homework. Don’t worry! It’s not too painful–just a little (ahem) warm-up reading. Our Guide to Cold Weather Hiking covers how to dress warmly and stay dry and be safe while moving your bod outdoors during winter, and we list some retailers that carry clothing that will actually fit us larger girls. See? Not painful at all. Now let’s get to it.

First, some reasons why snowshoeing is a great activity for fat girls:

* Just about anyone who can walk can snowshoe (even me, and I’m as clumsy as they come)

* It’s low tech, low impact (easy on those joints!), and carries less chance of injury than skiing or snowboarding

* It’s inexpensive compared to other winter sports and activities (no lift tickets, no special boots needed)

* You can snowshoe just about anywhere – no need to drive to a resort – and you can practice in your back yard

* Snowshoeing allows you to hike above the snow instead of “post holing” knee- or waist-deep through it

Now for some snowshoe-specific gear tweaks on our cold weather hiking guide:

Layering – Some outdoor sports require thicker long underwear, with good reason. If you’ll be standing around for hours watching Winter Olympic snowboarding or going hunting or snowmobiling, then winter weight underthings are the way to go. But because I’m a sweaty Betty once I get moving for winter hiking, cross-country skiing, or snowshoeing, I tend to wear a lighter base layer made of water-wicking, synthetic fabric (i.e., NOT COTTON) that moves sweat away from the bod, keeping you warm and dry.

Footwear - Winter starts with the letter W, and that’s how you’ll want to think of the boots you’ll strap into your  snowshoes: warm and waterproof. You don’t need spendy, high-tech performance boots, just sturdy-but-comfy snow boots that work well with your body, offer great ankle support, and won’t get wet or leave your toes feeling chilled on the trail. As someone who hikes year-round and spends hours sledding with my three sons, I never skimp on socks – winter-weight socks (again, not cotton) like these snowshoe-specific ones by Thorlo or these winter hiking socks by SmartWool, which come in XL, are a worthy investment.

Outer Shell – This is basically whatever type of waterproof jacket or parka you own, plus snow pants. Skip the heavier ski pants or jackets because you’ll be plenty warm walking around over the snow.

Poles - If you’ll be snowshoeing in the mountains or very hilly terrain, you might want to spare your knees and buy or rent some poles. There’s a wide array of trekking poles available; check a local, trusted outdoor retailer to help you find the right size, strength, and weight.

Snowshoes - There are three basic types of snowshoes, and they’re generally defined by activity type and level: recreational, backcountry/mountaineering, and adventure/running. Beginners need look no further than the recreational style, which is great because they’re the most affordable. Snowshoes are sized in length and based on the user’s weight (including whatever load a person will carry in a daypack), not shoe size, which makes shopping easier. However, the more you weigh, the harder it can be to find shoes designed to carry you over the snow, and larger snowshoes can sometimes cost a bit more.

I asked Beth Mairs, founder and director of Wild Women Expeditions, Canada’s largest outdoor adventure company for women to offer some snowshoeing pointers for this guide. “I use and recommend Atlas brand snowshoes, and their Elecktra line of snowshoes for women work with how women walk and stride.” Their 27″ beginner model, the Elektra 8, is sized for people (and daypacks) weighing between 120-200+ pounds. If you’re new to this sport and not sure you want to commit to it, many ski and outdoor shops rent snowshoes so you can get a feel for it before buying.

Technique

Testing your snow legs with an outfitter is a great way to get started; retailers like REI, local independent outfitters, and some park and conservation districts run beginner workshops. For you visual types, REI has an excellent series of videos and expert advice on basic snowshoeing techniques, such as moving up or downhill. Once you get going, it feels a bit tougher than walking in general, but easier than walking barefoot over an uneven sandy beach. You’ll be picking your feet up a bit higher than normal, so expect some soreness in your thighs later on, depending on your fitness level.

I asked Beth Mairs for tricks to getting snowshoes on, especially for those of us who have a hard time bending down due to flexibility issues and/or bellies getting in our way. “My trick? Put one snowshoe on inside, being careful not to put your full weight on the floor due to the teeth (crampons)! And sitting is a must; only extreme (as in extremely annoying) jocks will be able to put on and take off snowshoes while standing.”

Trail Etiquette

“Stay out of the way of cross-country skiers,” says Mairs, a cross-country skier-turned-snowshoer. “Snowshoeing is maybe more of a personalty type B than a type A activity.” Tread Lightly, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting outdoor ethics has a nicely crafted set of guidelines for outdoor sports, including:

Be considerate of others on the trail.
Keep to the right when meeting other winter recreationists and yield the right of way to downhill traffic.
Respect established ski tracks. If traveling by foot or snowshoe, don’t damage existing ski tracks.
When stopping, step to the side of the trail to let other skiers and recreationists pass.
When skiing, move to the right to allow faster skiers to pass.
If crossing private property, ask permission from the landowner(s).

Best Times to Go

Mairs describes the ideal snowshoeing weather as “during mid-winter, when there’s an adequate base packed down already but then some sexy, soft powder falls, say six inches. That’s the stuff.” Her final words of advice? “You’re out to explore and marvel in nature’s beauty, and able to go places you could never be except for the buoyancy that the snowshoes give you over the surface of the snow. Savor that.” That’s a technique we can all get behind.

So, as we often ask here at FGG, if you’ve been curious about snowshoeing, what are you waiting for? If you have questions, ask away. If you’re experienced, please share your tips and tricks in the comments section.

Photo via Dutchnatasja

If your ankles get wobbly just reading the words “ice” and “skating” in the same sentence, if you’ve ever looked on longingly at the ubiquitous images of figure skaters on TV every fourth winter, if you’ve been known to punch the gas in bitter resentment as you pass quaint, fuzzy-hatted skaters at the outdoor rink downtown, get comfortable – this guide was written for you.

The myth that fat girls can’t skate is overdue for shattering, and as a former competitive ice-skater, one I’m happy to take a hammer to. If you’ve never skated, making the images of ice skating and overweight bodies fit together in your psyche may be tough, but understand that most of our impressions of ice skating are fashioned from figure-skating athletes: a small fraction of the ice skating community. These men and women are no more representative of the skating public than Kate Moss is of the average clothes-buying consumer. Need more convincing? Consider hockey players. These guys are big, bulky bricks – many well over 200 lbs (and some closing in on 300) – yet they glide across the ice with speed and confidence.

Just like, with a little practice, you will too.

Like swimming, ice skating is a relatively easy combination of low-impact/high burn-rate activity for women who are overweight. For those counting, 45 minutes of casual ice skating can slay about 450 calories for someone in the 250-lb range, and it also builds muscle fast, which helps you burn more, even at rest, every day. Even if you’re not counting or interested in weight loss, but still want a strong, healthy body, a even weekly trip to the rink can be a fast-track to those goals.

ON YOUR FEET

Learning to ice skate seems to have become psychologically synonymous with weak, sore ankles. Don’t let that scare you away. While it’s true that until you get used to using those muscles again you’ll probably experience some soreness, you can speed up the trip to strong, sturdy ankles with some simple exercises before you hit the ice. Beyond that, a pair of good skates can make all the difference.

Don’t be tempted to skimp here just because you’re not sure you’ll like it or get much use out of them. Oh no. Because you can be sure you’ll be soured on skating fast if a cheap skate or a bad fit ends up hurting your feet or making you feel unsupported and insecure. So don’t rent! And don’t buy your skates online. Stop by a pro shop for sizing (or visit the shop at your local rink) and go straight for their good stuff. Plan to spend $50-$100, and if after giving it a fair chance you find it just isn’t for you, you can sell them and recoup most of your costs.

Keep in mind, it’s normal for brand new skate boots to feel stiff for a little while. With use, the boot material yields and feels more natural. When trying skates on, be sure to wear a thick sock to approximate the feeling you’ll experience when out skating. Make sure your new blades are nice and sharp (and sharpen often from then on for easier gliding).

STARTING OUT

Even if you’re thinking of lessons, I recommend making a few trips to the rink just to get the feel for being on the ice before you sign up. Start out slow, do just 10 or 15 minutes on the ice the first time out, and increase your ice time by about 10 minutes each return trip. You should find you’re able to enjoy 45 minutes of skating after just three or four practice days. If you can, bring a friend who’s also a beginner. Falling down (and you will*) is more fun when you’re not the only one doing it.

* A note about falling: everyone does it, even experienced skaters. But remember to get up as quickly as you can to avoid being bumped, and always, always pull your fingers in close to your body immediately so they won’t get run over by sharp skate blades! I’ve never seen it happen, but I’ve heard enough stories to make this an immediate reflex when I’m skating.

If you do choose to take some lessons at your local rink, now you’ll have gotten your “ice legs” well underway with those feel-out sessions and can focus on learning technique right from the start of your new class. You’ll most likely be asked to choose between group and private lessons at sign-up, and if you’re shy, easily embarrassed or easily derailed or discouraged, I recommend you go for private. They’re not that expensive and in most cases you can be “graduated” out into the skating world after just a few sessions. For the brave among you, group lessons are fun and inexpensive, and provide a good opportunity to meet other beginning skaters to skate with.

WHAT TO WEAR

Jeans are a bad idea – they don’t dry fast after a spill, and can feel heavy and restricting. Stretch pants, workout/jogging pants or sweats are good choices for casual and beginning skaters. Layering is a great idea – a short-sleeved shirt under a hoodie or sweater lets you stay warm when you’re first starting out and when taking a break, but can be shed once you get going and warm up. No scarves – they’re a hazard if they dangle and get caught under a skate – but I definitely suggest gloves or mittens for warmth and protection. Socks should be thick enough to keep your feet warm and cozy, but not so thick that they make your feet feel suffocated and uncomfortably tight in your skates.

WHERE TO SKATE

Avoid local frozen ponds and natural standing water, as it’s difficult to assess ice thickness and safety, and extra weight can play a role here. To find a rink near you, do a simple search online or check out a directory like ArenaMaps.com.

If you find you absolutely love ice skating and want to do it anytime right on your own property, consider making your own rink! My family used to do it every year and those are some of my favorite memories.

WHAT ELSE?

Readers, what am I forgetting? Share your tips for plus-size ice-skating in comments!