The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Between the Seats by SC Fiasco

When Southwest Airlines booted writer/actor/filmmaker Kevin Smith from his buckled-in seat aboard an Oakland-to-Burbank flight on Saturday, Feb. 13, the question of passenger size vs. seat size was catapulted into headlines. Again. Some readers may remember that Southwest drew a lot of (positive and negative) attention in 2008 with the announcement that it would begin actively enforcing its longstanding “customers of size” guidelines on flights. Simply put, the policy states that anyone who cannot comfortably lower both armrests, or who encroaches on another passenger’s space while seated, may be asked to purchase a second seat and/or wait for a later flight with more space. United Airlines instituted a similar policy last year, and many other airlines (AirTran is one notable exception) maintain some rule regarding passenger size and seating encroachment.

With so much recent press on the topic, it’s no wonder many of us are more nervous than ever about flying. And yet, a girl has places to go, right? While the troubling lack of consistency with which the rules seem to be applied means that any one of us could find ourselves in Smith’s shoes with zero warning, we think the best defense is a good offense.

Be informed. Do your homework before booking a flight and select the airline with the pricing/policy/accommodations combo that makes you most comfortable. Locating each airline’s approach to larger passengers can be a bit tricky (search for links to “special assistance,” “travel policies,” or “services and information”) but most web sites have them listed somewhere. Sites like Seat Guru will tell you how many inches of seat width and leg room to expect on the many types of planes each airline employs. Southwest’s seats are a uniform 17” wide, while many seats on AirTran, JetBlue, and Midwest measure 18”. That one extra inch may not seem like much, but for those of us with wide hips (*raises hand*), it might mean a more comfortable flight.

Once you’ve selected an airline, know your rights as a paying customer. Familiarize yourself with the specific travel policies and have a plan for the day of travel, including how you’ll handle the situation if your size should come into question.

Be proactive. To better the odds of adjacent empty seats, book flights during off-peak travel times whenever possible (Monday afternoon through Thursday morning, or early morning/late night).  When selecting a seat, opt for a window or aisle to minimize the number of shared armrests. For whatever reason, the size debate seems to keep coming back to armrests, the distance between them, and their ability to be lowered completely and “comfortably.” So let’s work with that: board your plane as early as possible, buckle up and lower the darn armrests for the world to see. You can always ask your seatmate to raise the shared one(s) later if it makes more sense.

If you know you need a seat belt extender, ask the flight attendant when you first board the plane. S/he will usually have several in the cabinet up front or will ask for your seat assignment and bring one to you. If you don’t realize until you’re seated that an extension is in order (don’t panic — belt lengths differ from plane to plane and sometimes from seat to seat), just press the call button or ask an attendant as they pass to do a luggage check. In my experience, every flight attendant has handled the belt situation discreetly. The important thing is to be confident and assertive, approaching the request for a belt extender the same way you would if you were asking for a pillow, blanket or extra napkin. There’s no shame or worry needed here; you’re just meeting a basic need.

Be honest. If you truly know in advance that your body’s dimensions and comfort requirements are going to significantly exceed the boundaries of a 17″ or 18″ seat, do yourself a favor and buy the second seat — preferably by calling customer service and being up front about your needs. Be clear about why you’ll require two seats together and ask how that reservation will be guaranteed and handled on your date of travel. Some airlines (including Southwest) will refund the cost of the second seat if the plane does not fill, while others (like United) will waive the standard call center fee. It’s not a perfect solution, but it will ensure your comfort and safety during the flight and it minimizes the potential for unpleasant surprises once aboard the airplane.

What say you, readers? We’d love to hear your opinions, recent airline experiences or flying tips in comments. And watch for a full-length Fat Girl’s Guide to Traveling in Comfort in the coming weeks.

Dara Chadwick’s book, “You’d Be So Pretty If…”

This week’s guest post comes from Dara Chadwick, a journalist who writes about health, wellness and psychology. We asked her to write about her journey to self acceptance after landing a sweet gig with a national women’s fitness magazine.

When it comes to family television viewing, there aren’t always a whole lot of great choices, but one show my family’s been enjoying together is ABC’s “The Middle,” a half-hour sitcom that features a “middle-aged, middle-class” mom in middle America. My kids think it’s a riot and I’ve found myself giggling at the over-the-top adventures of the show’s characters — especially the mom, who’s just trying to hold her head above water on most days.

I’ve had lots of days like that. And they really used to bother me. But happiness, I’ve discovered, is in those “middle” places.

See, I’m a former member of the “I have to be perfect” club: brilliant career, model children, blissfully happy marriage and spotless house. Oh, and a fabulous body, too.

Are you done laughing yet?

I can tell you that I have achieved all that “perfection” exactly zero times in my life. But that didn’t stop me from trying — or from beating myself up about it. The focus of most of my efforts was usually my body; after all, eating and exercise were totally under my control, right?

There was a time in my life when my quest to improve myself was serious business. I’d restrict calories, I’d exercise for hours and otherwise find ways to punish myself for not being “perfect.” My body may have been smaller, but I was never quite satisfied with where I was. In my mind, there was always room for improvement.

Secretly, though, I longed for a day when I wouldn’t have to care anymore.

While meeting the demands of two young kids, a husband, a job and a house, that day arrived. I didn’t care anymore. With no time to exercise, no energy to make a healthy meal for myself amid diapers and baby food and bottles, and no shortage of guilt at the idea of putting myself first, I let go of my chase of perfection.

And I do mean I let go. But that didn’t make me happy, either.

It wasn’t the extra flesh I was carrying or the bigger jeans I was wearing. It was knowing that I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Not exercising and not caring at all about what I ate didn’t deliver the freedom I once thought it would.

My life was out of balance. I’d gone from one extreme to the other.

In 2007, I signed on to write the Weight-Loss Diary column for Shape magazine. I worked with a life coach, a trainer and a dietitian to meet my goal of getting myself back to the weight I was on my wedding day. Each month, I was photographed and had to write about my “successes and failures.”

By the end of the year, I made my goal weight. But a funny thing happened along the way.

I’d started out with near obsession: I never, ever thought I wouldn’t be able to lose the weight. But as my kids — who were then 11 and nine — watched me hit the gym for a couple of hours each day, drink protein shakes and carefully monitor every calorie I consumed, I realized that I’d see-sawed back to the other extreme. And that wasn’t good.

That wasn’t the mom I wanted to be.

But here’s what was good: By the project’s end, I’d reconnected with my body. I remembered how good regular exercise made me feel. I realized how much better I felt when I ate healthy foods. I had a great dietitian who taught me all about moderation and helped me learn to bring balance to my food choices — knowledge I still use every day, two years later.

When my year with Shape was over, I made a conscious decision: No more extremes. These days, I eat what I feel like eating, when I feel like eating it. I don’t belong to a gym anymore; instead, I mix up my routine with walking, running, dance classes, yoga, biking — whatever I feel like doing. But I do something. It’s not about getting smaller, or changing a single thing: It’s about me, living my life in the healthiest body I can have — and showing my kids that you don’t have to be “perfect” to be happy.

After all this time, I feel like I’ve finally found my “middle” place — that balance between healthy self-care and accepting the body I have. I’m not striving for elusive perfection, but I’m not neglecting my body’s health either. Landing squarely in the middle, I’ve reached that body image milestone I’ve longed for my whole life: Contentment.

Dara writes about raising body-confident kids and making peace with our own body image demons at You’d Be So Pretty If (one of our “We Read” picks), and you can purchase her book here.

My oldest son and me hiking in the Tetons

“Jason says you’re FAT!” yelled my oldest son as he climbed into our minivan, throwing his backpack on the floor as he began to cry. As I drove away from the school, I gently pointed out that I am overweight and not everyone uses the word ‘fat’ to be mean.

“He says you’re so fat, you wear your socks on your toes!” he cried.

“Okay, maybe he was trying to be mean,” I said dryly. “Or he was trying to be funny and doesn’t understand that jokes like that are inappropriate and hurtful.”

I wasn’t hurt so much as surprised: not only did I not realize that my weight merited pint-sized commentary, but I wasn’t prepared for my son’s reaction. He hadn’t grown up with a mom who talked about her weight in either positive or negative terms, bounced from diet to diet, or continually put herself down like so many women I know had. I was just . . . Mom. And to him, I was just right. I’d prepared myself to steel my kids against bullies and meanies, but I hadn’t anticipated having to talk to them about how some people might feel about my size.

So what to do if this comes up? I know that every fat girl’s attitude about her body will vary as much as her parenting style. But here are some ideas for helping your kids (and you) deal with negative remarks about your size.

Listen. Before reacting (or over-reacting), let your child share what happened and how it made him or her feel. The first time my son shared a remark a classmate made about my weight (an observation that I was fat with no joke or apparent malice attached), he didn’t seem at all bothered, so I let it go. But when he became upset, I sat him down for a heart to heart talk, listened to what he was trying to tell me, and carefully asked questions as we talked. Knowing your child helps a lot here – some will share every detail of every moment, while others will only open up while walking or working with their hands. Also, keep in mind that stories that come home from school reflect your child’s perception of events and not necessarily objective reality. If you suspect any form of bullying, call your child’s teacher and/or school administrators to discuss the situation.

Don’t play the blame-yourself game. You may have noticed that our philosophy here at FGG is different from many weight-related sites out there. We know that you know you’re fat, and it’s likely the rest of the world does, too. While it may be upsetting to be a potential source of either embarrassment or pain for your child, taking it out on yourself – either by apologizing to your kids or berating yourself out loud or in your head – solves nothing. It doesn’t model self care to our kids, who take careful note of how we behave and despite their protests to the contrary, want to see us as heroes. And for those of us striving to make peace with our bodies as they are and even to lose weight, blaming and shaming is the surest path away from healthier states of body and mind. In other words, it won’t help and it might actually hurt on several levels, so don’t go there.

Talk to the other child’s parents. Don’t you do it! I can feel you rolling your eyes at this one. I’m sharing this because it worked for me, but I realize that every situation will vary and I know a mom or two for whom this would never work. I’m friendly with the mom of the boy who made the wisecrack about me and I know her parenting style, so I felt okay (though admittedly nervous) approaching her and sharing what her son said. She was mortified and promised she’d talk to him, assuring me that jokes about people’s weight are not acceptable in her home. I felt better saying something, in part because it felt good to know I could come to my friend with this issue, but also because perhaps now one more family has a broader tolerance of people’s differences.

Don’t play the stay-at-home game, either. I remember interviewing a woman for an article who confided that she knew people who couldn’t stand to be in the same room with a fat person. That was eye opening for me, but I ultimately came around to think, “So what? That’s their problem, not mine.” Easy to say, I know, but I spent a lot of years feeling ashamed of my looks,  even when I was a perfectly normal weight. If I let every negative comment deter me from enjoying my life or sharing in the lives of my kids, I’d never leave the house. So I hold my head high and act as if I’m the most beautiful mom in the classroom, because to one child there, I am. And that’s the opinion that matters most to both of us.

So, fat moms: have you encountered this issue in your family? How did you handle it? I’m especially curious to hear from moms of teens who have hit that phase where they don’t want to be seen with us, regardless of our size. Share your stories and advice in the comments.

Do you promise to love, honor and cherish your heart as long as you both shall live?

Two weeks ago I almost fell over dead. The personal trainer that came complimentary for four weeks with my gym membership tightened the cuff around my arm and pumped. He looked at the reading, then at me.

“Have you ever talked to your doctor about your blood pressure?”
“No, I’ve never really had high blood pressure. Why?”

I was nervous.

“Your blood pressure is 174/94. That’s dangerously high.”

That blood must have drained out of my face, because he quickly jotted it down and moved on to the next test. I blindly went through and passed the rest of them, all the while my heart pounding, which wasn’t helping, at the idea that I had developed high blood pressure in the year since I last had it checked. It wasn’t a complete surprise — my mother, father and grandparents all had high blood pressure. My mother and grandmother had developed aneurysms as a result, and two years ago my mother’s aorta dissected because of it. They’re both at high risk for heart attack and stroke, and both now on healthy doses of blood pressure medication.

But I’m only 38, I thought. My diet isn’t terrible. I get some exercise. I live a relatively low-stress life. How did this happen?

As soon as I got home I looked up everything I could find about high blood pressure. I re-learned some things I was already aware of: that genes play a fair role, being overweight certainly can, and high sodium intake doesn’t help. Otherwise it can be a crap shoot. But one thing was universally clear: high blood pressure not only puts us at risk for heart attack and stroke, but it can cause mild cognitive impairment and nerve and organ damage that affect the proper function of both body and brain. Some of that damage, once it happens, can be irreversible.

So I channeled my panic into challenge mode, and took my questions to a few specialists: “What else can women who are already in the process of improving their diet and manage their weight do to help lower their blood pressure through everyday habits?”

Here’s what they had to say:

Erin Palinski - RD, LDN, CDN, CPT
http://www.erinpalinski.com

Stay away from caffeine, and especially energy drinks. Caffeine raises your heart rate, which raises blood pressure.

If you’re stuck behind a desk or counter for several hours a day, jump up for a short burst of walking every hour. It does wonders for circulation and heart health, and naturally brings blood pressure down.

Sodium is one of the biggest culprits for high blood pressure. Substitute pepper for salt, pepper has no sodium. Neither does Tabasco sauce!

Get plenty of magnesium and potassium in your diet from foods like peanuts and other nuts, dark green leafy veggies, sweet potatoes, beans, low-fat yogurts, bananas, apricots, tomatoes, potatoes (the list goes on!). These two super vitamins help control circulation and muscle contraction, regulating blood pressure in the process.

New research suggests that vitamin D may also have a positive impact on blood pressure. Good sources of vitamin D include salmon, tuna, and eggs, as well as some fortified foods like breads and milk.

Elizabeth Lombardo – Ph.D., M.S., P.T
http://www.controlstressforgood.com

Reduce stress! Stress is one of the leading causes of high blood pressure, and some of the ways we “carry” stress – poor breathing habits, sleep deprivation, diet changes – can make it doubly dangerous. Dr. Lombardo recommends:

Belly breathing. When you breathe with your diaphragm, you induce a relaxation response in your body and mind.

Take a mental vacation. Visualize yourself on the beach (or anywhere that is relaxing to you). Notice how you feel, what you smell, hear, taste, think…fill your senses. Feel your mind and body relax.

Give yourself a time out: When you notice yourself starting to feel stressed, excuse yourself for five minutes and go for a walk around the block. Read some joke emails. Write in a gratitude journal. Listen to an uplifting song. Even short breaks will help bring your stress level down so you are better able to cope with what life throws at you.

Take care of your basic needs. Get the sleep, nutrition and exercise your body needs. You’re not too busy to do these things, you’re too important NOT to do them!

Stephanie Trifoglio – MD, FACP
http://www.marylandgeriatricmedicine.com

Sleep it off! One of the most often missed elements of controlling blood pressure is adequate sleep.  Most of us need 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night, but we don’t get it. Overweight women may also have undiagnosed sleep apnea syndrome. Diagnosing and treating that will often correct or help high blood pressure problems without medication.

Why does sleep affect blood pressure and weight loss? The hormone leptin, secreted when we don’t sleep enough, can cause weight gain, so sleeping more can aid in weight reduction which further helps in blood pressure management.

Kristen Burris – L.Ac., M.S.T.O.M.
http://www.americanacu.com

Deep abdominal breath works really well to lower blood pressure.  Lie on your back and imagine filling a balloon in your belly while breathing in through your nose.  Try to breathe in to the count of 7, hold for 4 and out for 6.  Repeat for 5 minutes and check your blood pressure, it should be lower!

Acupuncture is also very effective for lowering blood pressure.  It treats things associated with high blood pressure like losing weight, stress, and poor circulation.  Anticipate a minimum of twelve visits to have a lasting effect on blood pressure.

Tara Coleman – CN

http://www.taracoleman.com

When it comes to blood pressure the single best thing that you can do is increase your fiber.  I find that the easiest way to accomplish this is to start each day with a high fiber breakfast.  A cup of either Kashi GoLean or Nature’s Path Optimum Slim contain about 1/3 of your optimal amount of fiber (~30g to help lower blood pressure).

An alternative would be to add some fiber to your favorite brand.  An easy and delicious way to do this is to sprinkle some ground flax seeds on top of your morning cereal.  This can also be done with yogurt and salads to kick up fiber and bring down your blood pressure.

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A note from Tee: Since that blood pressure check at the club, I’ve learned that my true BP runs about 130/80. What I experienced that day was a situational spike based on a number of factors, including rushing to the appointment, running up two flights of stairs, and being a little nervous about the assessment. This is also known as “white coat” blood pressure. I’m relieved that my daily BP isn’t that high after all, but I’m also glad I had the scare, because it’s made me so much more aware of the effects choices I make have on my overall health.

When your hereditary risk is high for high blood pressure, lifestyle and diet adjustments now, before it becomes a problem, can mean the difference between a long, healthy life and premature illness and even death. So like everything else in life, don’t wait until things start to go south to show your heart some love.

Keep your cool at your next check-up. Image by House of Sims on flickr.

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., is our inaugural guest blogger (and the crowd goes wild!). Karen is a psychotherapist and author who specializes in the psychology of eating. Please give Karen a warm FGG welcome, share your experiences, and ask any questions you may have in the comments section. –The FGG Editorial Team

When you’re fat, the only thing more worrisome than the bad news you might hear when you visit the doctor is agonizing about what might be said about your weight. You’re likely to get an unsolicited earful. One of my clients was admonished that she could positively not see the doctor unless she weighed in. Another never got a chance to share her health concerns because her physician spent the entire visit urging her to get lap-band surgery. Yet another was told she’d be refused treatment by her nurse practitioner unless she dropped 40 pounds.

What’s a girl to do if she needs a check up or has a health emergency and happens to be a few score overweight?

Be a smart shopper. Remember that you are first and foremost a consumer of services and that it’s up to you to see that you get what you (or the insurance company) are paying for. Everyone is entitled to go to a health professional and have their concerns heard and responded to in an appropriate and professional manner. Everyone is entitled to be shown respect, kindness and compassion when they walk through that office door. And, everyone is entitled to assert their needs and express dismay/anger/frustration when they’re not met—including fat girls.

Speak up. If you’re unhappy with how you’re treated by health professionals, say so, not only to teach them about how you want to be treated, but to empower yourself. If you’re seeing a healthcare provider for the first time, just be yourself and try not to be anxious. There are no rules. Maybe you want to talk about your weight and maybe you don’t. It’s fine to say that weight is a sensitive issue and that you prefer to talk about it when you know the provider better. It’s also fine to say nothing at all in defense of your reticence.

If providers insist, stand on the scale so you’re facing away from the mechanism that measures your weight, and ask staff not to say the number aloud if you don’t want to hear it. Or be bold and tell them that you know you’re overweight and don’t need the scale to tell you so. Better yet, volunteer whether your weight has changed, even if it’s gone up. Take charge—ask why they need to know the exact number, why a weight range isn’t sufficient. If you’re receiving medication, medical staff might want a specific number to assess correct dosage.

Think ahead. Call before an appointment if you’re worried you won’t receive a gown large enough to discretely cover your body. Maybe even suggest the practice invest in plus-size gowns if they lack them. If you require help getting up on the table, ask for a stool and take your time climbing on. You’ll probably end up waiting for the doctor anyway, so what’s the rush?

Be prepared. In the case of visiting a health care practitioner who has hassled you about your weight in the past, feel free to provide some education that it’s fitness and health that count, not simply poundage. Do some Internet research and bring it along. If you’re taking action to lower your weight and feel like it, tell the doctor. Maybe you’ve joined a gym, started therapy or are reading my books. Most importantly, stay calm and maintain control of the agenda. Doctors’ visits seem to be getting shorter and shorter, so write down your questions and concerns ahead of time and tick off items as you get responses. If the doctor brings up your size, try a gentle reminder that weight isn’t the issue at hand. If he or she presses on, make the reminder a teeny bit less gentle.

Go for a team or collaborative approach, not a combative one. Most health care professionals really do want you to improve your health and often feel powerless to help you. Leave the chip on your shoulder behind and try not to personalize or read intentions that aren’t there into well-meaning or professional remarks. Although you don’t want a provider who treats you like a naughty child, you also don’t want to act like one.

Exercise your right to walk. Don’t be afraid to change practitioners. People do it all the time for any number of reasons. I’m on my third GP since I moved to Sarasota almost four years ago. Keep at it until you find someone you trust who listens to your questions and concerns. You deserve to have health care providers who will help you take excellent care of yourself.

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, national speaker and international author who is an expert on the psychology of eating. She has a private practice in Sarasota, FL and does world-wide telephone therapy. Learn more about her and her books at EatingNormal.com and NiceGirlsFinishFat.com.

FGG’s very own Toni, far right, admires her new backside

Ahhh, friends. They love us, they tease us, they feed us chocolate cake and help us hide the evidence. The best of those also help us figure ourselves out, encourage and motivate us, and step up to the plate when we need our lazy butts whooped.

I’ve found this is especially true with brand new friends who share a common goal or interest. Sometimes the familiar, comfy feelings in an old friendship make us less likely to push the envelope farther, or old wounds and sensitivities make us less likely to push an issue hard.  When we fall into those cozy patterns with lifelong friends that become hard to break, the fresh, clean, nothing-to-lose slates of new friendships can give us a spark that lights a fire under our butts to get up and moving toward our goals again. Put a group of them together, and you can be strong, steady building blocks to each other’s success.

With most of us using some form of social media venue – Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, even blogs – we’re constantly meeting new people and forging new friendships. These communities are a great place to tap our contacts for others who, like most of us here, want to work toward a healthier self, and allow ourselves a healthier sense of self in the process. So why not make use of all those new connections?

About a year ago some online friends and I started a private Google group, Girlz Under There, to support each other while we, each in our own way, began to dig out that healthy, vibrant, happy girl buried under all those layers of… you name it. Fat, stress, shame, fatigue,and  myriad other health and energy issues. It became a safe, virtual space we could gather for motivation and ideas, where we knew that everyone else was experiencing the same kinds of things we were, where we could be ourselves, but expect to be challenged to become our best selves.

Starting your own ass-kickin’ online support group will only take a few minutes, but having a few parameters in place before you recruit members will help you get the most out of it.

Ask yourself: What’s the point?
When you’ve got your eye out for people who would make good additions to your group, first know what your group’s specific goals are. Maybe it’s to educate each other on healthy living, and motivate one another to make those choices consistently. Maybe it’s to take a tough-love approach to exercise and getting out there. Maybe it’s to trade war stories about weight loss so we don’t feel like we’re on that road alone. Or maybe it’s a group specifically for posting progress photos. The more specific your goal, the more likely the group will succeed in staying on track.

Find people with the right stuff
A group is only as good as each individual that participates in it. Surprise: groups like these don’t typically thrive on the clouds of fluffy optimism, but with engine created by motivated realists. Look for people who say what they mean, mean what they say, and call it like the see it without being rude or insulting. When you’ve eaten half a birthday cake in one sitting and failed to change out of your PJs for three days, you don’t need a cheerleader telling you “Awww, that’s okay… you deserve it!” You need someone to ask, “What the heck is going on with you?” And to expect an answer.

Unfortunately, we’re wired to believe that being a supportive friend means rah-rahing everything our friends do, even if we’re afraid it may hurt them in the long run. That means you may need to do a little diplomatic weeding to make sure that well-meaning enablers stay on the fringes to cheerlead, while the inner circle runs on the energy of people ready to get real.

Similarly, you’ll want to be sure to screen out anyone who’s prone to jealousy, passive-aggressiveness or who isn’t completely invested in the group’s success. Not only can these folks be a buzz-kill, they’re dangerous to the group’s sense of trust and openness. It’s hard to feel good about a victory, much less share it out loud, when you’re internally preparing yourself for disguised backlash or even woe-is-me responses from someone else.

Pick your venue
Communities like Yahoo! Groups and Google Groups let members post, read and manage messages, calendars and polls easily by email. Social networks like Ning and Facebook groups provide a more free-form, media-rich group experience, and good, old-fashioned email lists in your address book will do the trick too. Just make sure your venue matches your groups goals, and the way your members naturally prefer to interact.

Pick your strategy
Your group shouldn’t be so structured that it’s hard to fit into everyone’s daily life, but it should have some guidelines for how you’ll work on achieving your goals. Need some ideas?

+ Create a contest. Examples: member with the most number of exercise days each month wins a prize, or member who submits the most inspiring, healthy menu for the week wins. Have a group fund for small prizes like cookbooks or movie tickets.

+ Have each member take a turn posting a delicious, healthy recipe each week, while another member posts a new, interesting, easy-to-do exercise for the group to try.

+ Have a weekly check-in on goal progress, discussing what worked and what didn’t that week, and what each member plans to do in the upcoming week. Hold each other to those goals.

+ Have each member take turns being boot camp captain each week, issuing challenges to other members. Challenges can be activity-related, or even just a challenge for each member to incorporate one cup of blueberries a day into their diets for the week.

+ Meet up when someone reaches their goal! What better way to celebrate a friend’s success, and to motivate ourselves to keep moving toward ours, than to spend some face-to-face party time with the people we’ve been making that journey with. At the very least, pick a spot once or twice a year to get together for a weekend to pow-wow and infuse fresh, exciting energy into the coming months’ challenges.

No matter how you structure your group, make a commitment to it and ask that others do the same. Nothing will kill a group like fizzling participation from members, so when things start to lilt, and they sometimes will, try injecting new ideas to get them bouncing again. If members still aren’t participating, politely ask them to move on so you keep a core of motivated folks moving.

Do you have a group, or are you planning to start one? Share your ideas and questions here in comments, and if you start an open group and want to invite FGG members, let us know! Happy ass-kicking!