The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Image by thewaltonsare

In my part of the world, winter is begrudgingly giving way to spring, and I know some of you readers on the other side of the globe are about to ease into autumn. Whether your days are getting shorter and colder or longer but cloudy and rainy, this is a great time of year to don some comfy clothes, grab a hot beverage, and dive into a captivating read.

Since my mom brought home my first Nancy Drew novel, I’ve been a fan of mysteries and just recently devoured Laura Caldwell’s Red Hot Lies, a zippy and entertaining, but meaty enough to feel plausible novel set in my favorite city, Chicago. The absolute very best book I’ve read in years was Tana French’s In the Woods, also a crime novel but it’s a true genre buster set in Dublin and written in a deliciously lovely voice. I recommend it to anyone who loves great storytelling, regardless of genre. I also enjoy travelogues, especially funny ones like Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods. Tide, Feather, Snow by Miranda Weiss was a lovely book about life in Alaska, and I got a kick out of Street Without A Name by Kapka Kassabova, the author’s tales of growing up in Communist Bulgaria, which was as fascinating and witty as it was poignant and sad.

What about you, girls? Have you read anything you simply couldn’t put down recently? We’re always looking for great titles related to body image and self love, but whatever you’d like to share from your recent reads, post them in the comments.

Plush Series by zerbetron

Regular FGG readers know we’re fans of self portraiture as a form of creative expression that can often guide us toward self acceptance. Loving our physical selves isn’t just an issue for fat girls, but let’s face it: most of us grew up surrounded by a distinctly different female ideal than what we see in our lives or in the mirror each day. In fact, it’s tough to find a television series or movie featuring overweight or even simply curvy characters who aren’t wise crackers, buffoons, or villains. Notable exceptions: Sookie St. James from Gilmore Girls, Lt. Anita Van Buren from Law and Order, and Medium’s Alison DuBois–can you name any others?

That’s why we’re always excited to see someone celebrating her curvy self, as so many of you do in our FGG Girls Flickr group. Perhaps if enough of us do this, the idea will catch on that every woman’s beauty is unique and worthy of appreciation – regardless of her dress size.

In what ways can you celebrate your distinctive physical self? Share your ideas in the comments and in the FGG Girls Flickr group. In addition to daily self portrait project I’m doing this year, I’ve started wearing tops that accentuate my lovely waist, and I’ve also started buying scented bath and shower products as a way of being sweet to the skin I’m in. What about you?

Image by A|ina

I’m not sure, but this may be the most adorable image in our FGG Girls Flickr group to date. But “adorable” doesn’t quite cover it: I love the sass and sensuality depicted here, the confident curves, and the bright pop of coral color. This photo is also a great example of how to craft a fun, sexy self portrait that tells a story while leaving an element of mystery: what expression is she wearing, and what lucky person gets to lick that spoon? Next time you take a self portrait (if you’ve never taken one, what are you waiting for?) find a way to incorporate some of these elements and see your curves in a new light. For inspiration, there are plenty of great examples in our FGG Girls Flickr group.

Chicago photographer and artist Alina Smith, the subject of this week’s self portrait, is a good friend and a regular FGG reader. When she’s not taking lovely self portraits, she creates fine art images for clients using film and a variety of photographic processes. As with baking cookies on a winter afternoon, there’s something uniquely satisfying about creating things by hand. Smith takes her creativity a step further by exploring media and photographic processes that are falling out of favor, as others are doing through the resurgence in popularity of Polaroid and Lomo cameras. (Check out this gorgeous collection of Polaroid photos, “For the Love of Polaroid“  by another friend and FGG reader, Bonnie Underwood).

A few years ago, I started baking cakes from scratch for my husband’s birthday, but in recent years I haven’t taken the time. I miss getting “into the zone” while working with my hands to create something I simply can’t get at the grocery store. And while it’s hardly a lost art, I’d also like to finally start a vegetable garden this year, including asparagus, garlic, tomatoes, herbs, and fresh greens using heirloom seeds where possible – just like I did with my father and he did with his mother. One of our missions here at FGG is to encourage everyone – ourselves included – to live our lives to the fullest, and that includes periodically stepping up and snatching items off that “someday” list.

I’m going to pull gardening and baking for special occasions into my here and now. What about you? As the hours of  daylight slowly lengthen and we can almost sense those first whispers of spring’s arrival, what can you uncover, create and put out there into the world using your own two hands? Share your ideas and projects in the comments section.

My Memento, by russellorama

Another tough choice this week, so many great photos to choose from (including lovely Valentine flowers and pants-free cookie-making!), but this candid, unabashed image was instantly and irreversibly magnetic. I especially love the confluence of elegant and alive here – I wish we’d see those two intertwined more often.

What makes you smile a mile wide, throw your head back in laughter, or squeal with delight? Show us this week in the FGG Girls Flickr gallery!

Photo by {Pauly}

I really enjoy the raw honesty and natural beauty in {Pauly}’s self portraits on flickr. It takes a certain amount of bravery to be open and real in front of the entire Internet, let alone to do so every day for a year. When this photo landed in the FGG Girls flickr pool, I kept returning to it. I think there’s a vulnerability and openness there that we can all relate to – and that perhaps we wish we could reveal more often ourselves.

Are you the fat girl who’s quick to crack a joke or make a self-deprecating remark before someone else zings you first? Are you “large and in charge” in order to avoid being perceived as lazy or weak, when inside what you really want is to let someone else take the reins once in a while? Perhaps you’re the type to hide or turn your head when someone points a camera lens your way? Maybe none those issues affect you, but you’d still like to explore ways in which you can be soft and real while still feeling safe. In the bathroom mirror, or with a trusted friend (how about in a bathroom mirror with a really trusted friend), or perhaps in a series of self portraits, like one FGG Girls flickr group member who is doing a series of weekly self portraits as a way of getting reacquainted with herself.

When, why, and how do you allow yourself to feel vulnerable or to be your true self? Tell us in the comments section, and if you decide to edge out of your protective zone – even if just a little bit – in this regard, come back and let us know!

from CurvyAmazon

FGG Girls’ Flick group newcomer CurvyAmazon gets bold and playful with some hot pink for an 80’s themed birthday party – demonstrating that theme parties can be a great way to experiment with fun, attention-getting outfits you probably wouldn’t be caught wearing in public any other time. It’s as though just the idea of a party gives us permission to be sexy, free-spirited beings, vs. feeling like we ought to cover up and spare ourselves and everyone else the sight of our curves.

While we’d love to get the whole plus-size community out from under that presumption, if a theme party is what it takes right now to have some fun with fashion, go for it! And if you can’t find one to hit with your bad, newly liberated self…why not throw one? Valentine’s Day is just around the corner; invite your 50 closest friends and require that everybody wear red. Then get creative!

Thanks to everyone who submitted photos this month! Our group is growing and we love seeing your faces over there. If  you haven’t joined already, get on over there.

And finally, congratulations to MidnighteSkye for winning this month’s photo challenge with her January 10 Photo of the Week, “Make a Statement.” Nice shot! Send your mailing address to letters@fatgirlsguidetoliving.com and we’ll send off your prize!

And thanks to everyone who’s participated in our photo challenges each month since we launched last summer. We’ll continue to do a Photo of the Week each Monday beginning this week (vs. Sunday), but we’ll no longer be choosing one monthly “winner” from those. We love all the photos you’re adding to our Flickr group, so keep ‘em coming!

Incomplete Self byTinyBeauregard

This one was just fun. And cool. And the fact that the printed image (what we see) was less of herself than the negative (what’s really there) was a nice metaphor for how we often see ourselves vs. how we truly are.

What funky image can you create of yourself that speaks to the subject of body image? Get your photo in at the FGG Girls Flickr group before next Sunday for a chance to win January’s prize. If you need a little inspiration, Jamie Bates and MidnighteSkye are already hot on that trail with some great examples.