The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

This Image by Shavar Ross makes us wonder: Who was Oscar wearing?

Sunday’s 82^nd Annual Academy Awards broadcast drew attention for its many firsts. In addition to Kathryn Bigelow’s history-making win as the first female Best Director, Geoffrey Fletcher became the first African-American to be recognized with a screenwriting Oscar with his adaptation of Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire. Had Lee Daniels won the Best Director category for Precious, he would have been the first African-American to receive the honor.

Despite the focus on the (long overdue!) breakdown of these racial and gender barriers, many FGG readers may also have found themselves quietly (or not so quietly) cheering the bold, beautiful fat girls who represented so well at the Kodak Theater. The night began with Mo’Nique’s gritty poise during her Best Supporting Actress win. Viewers were then treated to Queen Latifah’s statuesque turn introducing the Governor’s Award ceremony clip, and – of course – the radiant sparkle of industry newcomer and Best Actress nominee Gabourey Sidibe, who seemed to be a magnet for telecast and paparazzi cameras alike. As I watched each of these captivating women rock their respective red carpet finery, it got me wondering:

“Which designers were lucky enough to dress Mo’Nique, Gabby and Queen? And – more importantly – has the time finally arrived for the fashion industry and media to give plus-sized beauty its due?”

Research on the first question was easy; news sites and blogs couldn’t wait to showcase photos of these ladies, as well as the stories behind their full-figured fashions. Although rumors had swirled around Sidibe’s gown options in the weeks preceding the ceremony, she eventually settled on a gorgeous blue Marquesa creation with short sleeves and diamond floral detail. (She also referred to her dress as a “money shot,” which made me gasp… and then giggle.) Having proven herself a savvy red carpet vet over the years, Queen Latifah opted for a one-shouldered dress in lavender satin by Badgley Mischka. Mo’Nique chose the periwinkle color of her Tadashi Shoji gown (and the gardenia in her hair) in tribute to Gone with the Wind star Hattie McDaniel, who wore a similar look in 1940 as the first African American actress to receive an Oscar.

As to the second question – Are high-profile designers and the media beginning to acknowledge that fat girls exist and shop outside of big box stores? – well, that’s a bit more complicated.

There has definitely been lip service paid of late to including representations of “nontraditional sizes” in fashion shows and magazine spreads. For the second consecutive year, designer Mark Fast featured plus-size models in his runway show at London’s 2010 Fashion Week. America’s Next Top Model has begun to cast contestants who don’t wear a size 2. Both V and Glamour recently touted issues showcasing models in extended sizes. Sidibe herself donned fashions ranging from off-the-rack at Torrid to designers like Monif C. (who helped us answer a recent “Ask FGG” question) during her awards season appearances. And another of Hollywood’s current darlings, Christina Hendricks of AMC’s series Mad Men, is as unapologetically voluptuous as she is talented. (Word is that her recent New York magazine cover sent the entire male population of Time Out New York’s offices into a buzzing frenzy that lasted days.) Yes, there are ripples of positive trends out there.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to overlook the “…but” to most of these encouraging stories. As a result of the decision to include size 12 and 14 models, both the casting director and a stylist quit the Mark Fast show backstage. Hendricks has gone on record as saying she gets frustrated by the consistent emphasis on her body, as if her curves somehow eclipse the need to acknowledge her work on one of television’s most critically acclaimed shows. And while fashion spreads and runway shows (and Tyra) may be slowly opening their doors to larger sizes, the fact remains that “plus-size” in fashion speak doesn’t correspond to the tags in the back of your IGIGI dress or my Venezia jeans. Because straight sizes don’t usually extend past a 6, anything above that can be considered “plus” – meaning you’ll often see a model wearing a size 8 or 10 being billed as “plus-size,” despite the inconsistency with real-world sizing.

Still, any opportunity for girls ages 7 to 75 to see diverse body types represented in the media as both beautiful and viable has to be considered a step forward. On Sunday night, 41 million viewers saw that three of the women occupying these physiques are intelligent and talented, funny and dynamic – just like those of us who spent the Academy Awards in our pajamas instead of couture. So, reader, whether you’re an actress or an architect, your challenge this week is to hold your head high and tackle your calling with confidence. Give your next boardroom presentation with the poise of Mo’Nique, channel Gabby’s exuberance the next time you find yourself in a new setting, and let your laugh and smile come as freely as Queen Latifah’s whenever possible. After all, each of us represents in her own unique and stylish way.

OhLaLa by Midnighteskye

Two of my friends attended a burlesque-themed wedding last weekend, and I couldn’t wait to pore over their photos from the occasion. The images were striking — so many exuberant women and men dressed to express themselves and ready to celebrate, body issues be damned. Not the typical notion of a marriage ceremony, to be sure, but there was something honest and refreshing about seeing girls of all sizes looking carefree and vital in their corsets, garters or camisoles. This got me thinking:

Where can a girl shaped like me find something sultry to wear, even if there aren’t any burlesque-themed weddings in my immediate future?

Boy, do I have some sites for you (okay, us). The fashion statements made in those wedding photos reminded me that although we’re often encouraged to associate luscious lingerie with a seduction scene, there are plenty of reasons to keep a few daring pieces in your boudoir. If your social circle skews a little more traditional, don’t sweat it. You don’t need a bare-most-of-it nuptial occasion – or even a specific audience – to enjoy donning a bit of silk or lace. As Peony pointed out in her most recent Sex and the Single Fat Girl column, sometimes pulling out the garters or a slinky cami happens just for you. So whether sleeping in a luxurious chemise helps evoke sweet dreams or you’re looking to add a bit of secret-weapon “oomph” under your interview suit, try one of these venues to connect you with your sensual side.

(Disclaimer: Lingerie = body parts. Be sure to click the following links from a location that won’t get you fired.)

Hips and Curves

From baby dolls and cami/short sets to costumes and garter belts, this diva-licious supersite is a treasure trove of all things sultry. A girl could easily lose track of time time paging through the many options here, including three pages of widely varied bustiers and corsets. Bonus: The thorough sizing page includes a terrific explanation of how to select the right corset measurement.

Torrid

Known for its bold, colorful and often goth-inspired dresses, separates and accessories, Torrid also offers an array of similarly styled bustiers, teddies and chemises (like the black & white one I coveted upon sight). Sizes range from 00 (comparable to size 10 or Large) to 5 (size 30/32 or 5X), although not every size is available online.

Plus Size Plum

The brainchild of former plus-size model and writer for BBW Magazine Deborah Friedman, Plus Size Plum prides itself on offering a high-end customer service experience and hand-picked selections of intimate apparel. We found it notable for its mix of wild (an entire page of body stockings!) and mild (babydoll & peignor set).

Lane Bryant

Many of us have shopped the LB for denim, sweaters, tees and career wear, but their lingerie department is also worth a look. In addition to corsets, camis and negligees for every modesty level, you’ll also find specialty bras and the frilliest of panties.

Lingerie Diva

An impressively diverse plus-size section features everything from basics and bridal lingerie to vinyl and leather. Lingerie Diva also offers the largest array of full-figured garters and hosiery that we found, but read sizing info carefully — many styles are only available in a single “Queen” option.

Frederick’s of Hollywood

You wouldn’t know it from the models featured in the the company’s catalogs or web listings, but Frederick’s offers a decent selection of its lingerie, corsets, bras and panties in plus sizes. Some items fall decidedly more on the costume side, but there’s also a handful of very basic pieces like the renaissance corset or the satin cami & short set, both available in sizes up to 3X.

Tell us where you’ve found the pieces in your wardrobe that make you feel especially sexy, classy or adventurous. And don’t forget to send along your own burning questions to letters@fatgirlsguide.com for inclusion in an upcoming “Ask FGG” column.

Tailor’s Shop, by Twenty Questions

What exactly can a tailor do to clothes? What parts are alterable and what parts are not?

I’ve never had anything tailored (is the picture of me as a hopeless fashion offender forming clearly in your mind yet?), so I took this question to one of San Francisco’s favorite custom tailors, Seymour’s Fashions. Ravi Bulchandani was kind enough to provide some insight into the process of custom tailoring and alterations:

“For women we take about 12 to 14 measurements of the upper body, and another six measurements for the legs. If a client has a difficult hip area, we would do a “hip map” – taking measurements from the waist down every 3 to 4 inches and checking the circumference of the client’s hips.

Once we have taken all of the necessary measurements we cut/alter each garment from those measurements, then prepare the garment for fitting. Once we see how the fit is at this point, we make the changes we need to, i.e., take in, let out, shorten, or lengthen based on what we see. After the fitting is done we go back to work on the garment to finish it.”

There are no doubt lots of other details to understand about custom tailoring and alterations, so I’ll turn it over to those of you who’ve had them done. What can you tell us about the process, and what advice would you offer?

My RSS feed is packed so full that I sit down around 7 each morning to crack open, and it’s usually approaching 9 before I’m moving on. When I’m more pressed for time, I skip most of them and sail through my top 15 or so feeds – and one of those is Lilli Hingee’s delightful, daily “style story,” Frocks& Frou Frou.

I’m no girly-girl; you’ll catch me buying dresses and jewelry and shoes about as often as you’ll see Ralph Lauren sponsoring a BBW convention, but people, I admit it: Lilli’s daily outfit posts give me a secret pinch of giddy girliness. I figure the step outside-of-myself is good for me, and she’s so cute I can’t even be mad at her for making me want to spend money on polka dots and florals and a good pair of red pumps.

Just don’t tell anyone…I got a rep to protect.

And so I pass the Frocks & Frou Frou RSS torch to you, in hopes you’ll get as much enjoyment out of Lilli’s daily looks as I do. For an extra dose of girly goodness, you can also follow her on Twitter.

Style&co.’s cotton winter coat from Macy’s – 1x-3x $49.68

The pickins are slim for winter coats that fit larger, bustier women like me, without 1) making me look like a moving tent or an over-padded Michelin Man, and 2) costing me my whole winter clothing budget. Are there really no flattering plus-size coats out there for under $100 bucks?”

Fear not, frosty readers, we’ve tracked down six slimming, stylish winter coats for less than a Ben Franklin.

Style&co.’s cotton, streamliner with big buttons
On sale for $49.68 at Macy’s

A wide collar, straight line, and big buttons from top to bottom draw the eye away from your chest area and even out top and bottom-heavy figures. A lighter-weight option, this creamy, dreamy winter coat is great for milder climates or women (like me) who feel too restricted by bulk, and/or run warm all year round. Sizes 1x-3x.

Junonia Reversible Fleece Anorak
At Junonia for $99.95

This pick pushes our $100 budget to its limit, but for women who love the fit and feel of a sporty but warm anorak, it’s money well-spent. The long cut works both for taller women or those who want to keep the belly undercover, and the reversible colors (green tea and black, or columbia blue and black) makes it feel a little like a two-fer. Sizes 1x-5x.

Polka Dot A-line Wool Silhouette Coat
On sale at Ashley Stewart for $71.40

Fun and versatile, flattering and sophisticated, if you’re only going to get one winter coat this year, get one that works equally well at the office, at the grocery store or at the club with friends. The high-contrast, black-and-white polka dots and over-sized but non-suffocating collar mask shape imbalances without feeling boxy. Note: dry-clean only. Sizes 1x-3x.

Women’s Sherpa Fleece Pullover
On sale at Land’s End for $26.50

Another lightweight but warm, fuzzy option, this find is a huge deal. Made with thick fleece and rated from 5-25° Fahrenheit, don’t let its light look fool you – this is a hot winter coat, and the half-zip helps regulate body temperature. Available in seven yummy colors. Sizes 1x-3x.

Corduroy Funnel-Neck Trench
On sale at Roaman’s for $20.99-$24.99

Long lines and low, low pockets mean this jacket won’t add bulk to your hips, even if you’re bringing along everything but the kitchen sink when you venture out. Available in four fresh colors (I like Ginger), this is a great fall-to-winter transition coat. With a turtleneck and scarf, you’ll be toasty and tantalizing. Sizes 14W to 34W.

Fur-lined, Hooded Stadium Coat
On sale at Avenue for $89.90

No worries, it’s fake fur, but it’ll keep your warm from your head to your ears to your rear-end on chilly walks and at winter sporting events. Just enough quilting to feel swaddled without feeling restricted, this one comes in a delicious, fiery red, a basic black and an earthy gold. Sizes 14W-32W.

How about you? Help our readers out and tell us about your favorite winter coat in comments! And if you’ve got your own question for FGG editors to investigate, send it on over.

Pear-shaped shadow by somegal

Is there a clothing store or brand that tends toward a pear-shaped silhouette? I’m 2 sizes smaller on top than on the bottom, so if it fits in the hips, I’m swimming in the top (I’m looking at you, Lane Bryant). I know what cuts minimize this effect, and I have a great tailor, but I’d like to be able to go somewhere and buy something off the rack without having to allot time for making it fit.”

Great question. A shop that specializes in, or at least has a great selection of, fashion for pear-shaped figures stumped us, so we took it to our peeps on Twitter, the Dooce community, and around the web. Here’s what we found:

Old Navy: they’ve got a growing plus-size collection, and a lot of their stuff has a nice lower drape to hide fuller hips, buns and stomachs.

Igigi: Lots of love out there for their pear-shape-friendly lines, their colors and their awesome super sales.

1-Plus: Sizes 14 and up here for Addition Elle, MXM and Pennington’s. Addition Elle, specifically, offers an essential-fit pant guide for four body shapes, including pear shapes.

Nordstrom: In Nordstrom’s plus-size shop, you can search by both size and body shape. Selecting pear-shape styles turns up more than 200 results.

Ralph Lauren: Controversial now for the photoshop flap, Ralph Lauren still has a surprising number of plus-size fans. Facts is facts, they say – RL offers some of the most form-fitting plus-size apparel in the industry, with realistic proportions for a variety of body shapes.

J. Jill: Fans say J. Jill carries cuts that are flattering for both pear and apple shapes, and that their plus-sizes fall on the generous side.

Torrid, Avenue, Macy’s : Some say they’ve been able to find the perfect, pear-shaped apparel at these shops, but that it’s generally hit-or-miss.

Make Your Own Jeans: We ran across this shop and had to include it, even though it’s not an off-the-rack solution. While neither of us has experience with it (if you do, let us know!), and their custom jeans are pricey, the idea of perfect-fitting jeans gives us goose bumps.

Thanks to everyone who helped us out! Now it’s your turn. For all our similarly-shaped readers, what’s your favorite shop for a wide, consistent variety of stylish, pear-shaped apparel?

Yes, you can hike when it’s cold. It’s all about the gear, baby!

As fall color reaches its peak in northern climates, it’s easy to forget that we’re about to hit that lull before winter makes its frosty self comfortable. For many of us, that might mean heading indoors to work out, but I’d like to argue that time spent outdoors is both essential to our well-being and achievable year-round. I covered hot weather hiking earlier this year (see Part 1 and Part 2), but when temperatures drop, your comfort outdoors is largely dependent upon how you dress. Here’s a rundown of what you’ll need before heading out for a brisk hike.

What to Wear

The phrase “dress in layers” comes up often in articles about outdoor activities. But what exactly does this mean, and how does one achieve proper layering for cold weather? ‘Layering’ simply means dressing to insulate your body from the cold without trapping too much sweat against your body or letting any rain or snow leak through your clothing (both of which could put you at risk for a serious condition called hypothermia). In very cold weather, this means a base layer of long underwear under warm clothing and a wind- and water-resistant jacket or parka. Your clothing and coat will vary depending on the season and amount of rain, wind, or snowfall.

The trick to dressing in layers as a fat girl is to balance staying warm and dry against looking like Randy from A Christmas Story. It can also be tough finding outdoorsy clothing and outerwear in plus sizes. I’ll share a handful of retailers I’ve had luck with, and always welcome reader suggestions for more resources in the comments section.

Long underwear - Look for non-cotton fabrics that will wick perspiration away from the skin. Junonia offers long underwear up to size 5X; the only down side is they only offer one style and weight in two colors. Lands’ End and L.L. Bean each have a small selection of plus size long underwear up to size 3X.

Winter Coat - Who says parkas can’t be sexy? (See photo, above). Okay, nobody–but that doesn’t mean you should wear a lightweight or dress coat that will let cold and water seep through while hiking. Ideally you should look for a parka or long jacket with vents you can unzip to allow heat to escape. Finding a plus size winter coat can be tricky, as many outdoor companies don’t offer much (REI) or anything (Title 9) in the plus size range (what’s up with that, outdoor retailers?). Once again, Junonia comes to the outdoorsy fat girl’s rescue, with parkas and jackets made for safe, warm outdoor fun in sizes up to 6X. The parka I’ve had the red parka in the photo above for about a decade, the Squall Parka from Land’s End, available up to size 3X, and their sizing tends to be pretty generous.

Snow or Ski Pants (optional) – I only wear snow pants when I know my legs are going to get wet, as when I’m sledding with my kids. (I found mine at L.L. Bean – their XL juuuust makes it over my size 20 bum). Unless you tend to run super-cold or know you’ll be in wet conditions, these are optional for hiking. I know I sound like a broken record but: guess who also has snow pants in extended sizes? Snow pants tend to be uninsulated and lighter, for those of us who tend to run hot, and ski pants are thicker and made for extended time outdoors.

Hat, Scarf and Gloves – You’ll also want a scarf, hat and gloves, in fleece, wool, or any other non-cotton fabric, because cotton retains moisture, which you don’t want happening while you hike.

Footwear – As our recent Ask FGG post about building strong ankles illustrates, preventing injury and re-injury to your ankles is essential. Wear sturdy, water-resistant boots with good ankle support when hiking in wet or snowy weather, or trail runners with sturdy construction in milder, drier weather. I’m a big fan of Zappos.com and their free, lightning-fast shipping on purchases, returns, and exchanges. Montrail is probably my favorite footwear brand, though I know many Merrell fans, too. Ideally, visiting a store with knowledgeable sales people who will help you find shoes and boots is the best move (REI is the best in this department). And don’t forget cozy socks (I love SmartWool and Thorlo) in a non-cotton fabric.

Ultimately, when choosing gear for cold weather hiking, know your own body and tolerance for cold. I tend to be a sweaty Betty, so I wear lightweight long underwear and avoid down jackets for more than just their Michelin Man effect on my upper bod. If you tend to run colder, look for mid- or even expedition weight long underwear and a heavier jacket. Either way, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you forget the cold when you’re properly decked out to enjoy it.

Safety and Etiquette

Food and water. Carrying a water bottle, granola bar and apple in a small day pack or fanny pack will keep you hydrated and blood sugar levels stable.

Pace Yourself. Winter hiking means trying not to work up too much of a sweat. Having a jacket with vents to unzip can help in this regard, but remember also not to push yourself too hard in cold weather. Picking up your feet to stomp through leaves or snow requires extra effort, so build that into your experience beforehand to avoid overdoing it on the trail by either going more slowly than usual or choosing a shorter route. Also, be watch for ice patches hidden under freshly fallen snow and consider trekking poles for extra stability, particularly in rougher terrain.

Be Aware. Know the symptoms of both hypothermia and frostbite and head back at the first signs of either condition.

Protect Yourself. Whether or not you’re hiking solo, always let someone know where you’ll be hiking and an estimated time of return. If there’s a register at the trailhead, sign in and out so park rangers will know whether to look for you. Make sure your cell phone is charged and consider carrying a loud whistle to signal for help or dissuade potential human or animal attackers.

Know the rules where you’re hiking. Many state and local parks offer multi-use trails that include cross-country skiers, and it’s good trail etiquette to not stomp over pre-existing grooves. Also practice leave no trace ethics, an extension of the classic hikers’ adage, “take only pictures and leave only footprints.”

Stateside readers can find local trails at AmericanTrails.org, and GoTrekking.com offers reviews of trails around the world. Also, remember that you don’t have to be hard core to hike outdoors, even in winter. To get a nice dose of the natural world, any municipal park will do, especially for beginners.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab some gear and get ready for some cold weather hiking! And look for guides to snowshoeing, ski boots, and cross-country skiing later this winter.

Ask questions, share tips on where to find the best cold weather outdoor gear, and tell us about your favorite hikes in the comments section.