The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

The cravings begin the moment I see the first posters marking the return of the farmers market to my town: tangy, succulent tomatoes just firm enough to eat like an apple, the drippings splattering onto the sun-dried pavement beneath my bare feet. My dreams of perfect tomatoes transport me to childhood summers in suburban Chicago, the late afternoon air equally thick with mosquitoes and humidity. My father, shirtless and tan, digging in his impressive vegetable garden, planting lettuces, spinach, beans, sugar snap peas, corn taller than the grown-ups and of course, tomatoes. I’m told his gardening mentor was out tending her back yard veggies hours after giving birth to him at home in a small coal mining town in Pennsylvania. My grandma’s best gardening advice to her youngest son – spoken in her native Ukrainian – was that air is more important to plants than either food or water, so properly aerating the soil is essential. So many powerful sensory memories from one poster spied on a dreary April morning – this is the power of great tasting food.

While I savor those memories, I haven’t yet located the green part of my thumb from my paternal ancestors (though I’m still looking). But I do love a well-stocked farmers market. Last week’s Fat Girls Guide explored what it means to be a “foodie,” and one reader commented that to her, being a foodie meant cooking with fresh, locally grown produce. While we realize the definition of “foodie” is both subject to debate and likely broader than this, there is something to be said for cultivating an appreciation for fresh fruits and vegetables. I grew up a skinny kid-turned-yo-yo-dieter because all of the cool kids were doing it. One unfortunate consequence of all those diets was the association of fruits and vegetables with deprivation and denial. I know better now, and one of my favorite lunches is a combination of: mixed greens, goat cheese, cucumber, tomatoes and grapes dressed with vinegar, oil and cracked black pepper.

Right now, farmers markets around the country are offering amazing salad greens, herbs and spring berries – perfect for creating a favorite lunch of your own. If you haven’t been lately, this is the perfect time of year for a visit. You can often plan an entire day’s meals from a morning trip, as many farmers markets also offer locally prepared breads and cheeses and farm-raised eggs, poultry and meat. Not only do your dollars often go to local businesses in your community, but visiting a farmers market is just plain fun, offering a chance to chat up local growers and artisans and feel connected to your surroundings. Not sure where to find the nearest farmers market? Local Harvest has a comprehensive search engine for U.S. markets, including organic farms and CSAs. Farmers markets aren’t just for rural communities and small towns; Pike Place Market in Seattle is one of the most famous urban markets, and Green City Market on Chicago’s North Side features organic produce and other goods.

There is no comparison between the tart-sweet flavor of a recently picked in season berry and its waxy facsimiles flown in from afar during winter. Perhaps there’s something to be said for scarcity and delayed gratification as a better model for eating than deprivation, and perhaps this is one of greatest gifts of farmers markets – they offer the chance to get excited about even everyday ingredients, with good reason.

Girls, tell us about your childhood memories of gardening, your favorite summer eats, or share your fave farmers market and what makes it worth a visit.

Ouch, by Dyanna

Most of us have (ahem) been burned before: maybe we’ve held a garage sale, attended a nephew’s outdoor graduation, or stepped out to pull some weeds “just for a few minutes,” only to feel the burn a few hours later. If you’re me, you went kayaking for the first time, dutifully applying sunscreen to your face, shoulders, arms, and chest but forgetting your capri-pants-clad shins, (wrongly) assuming they’d be covered. Nobody knows better than me that mistakes happen, but this particular error is easily–and thankfully–preventable. Rising temps and increased hours of daylight here in the U.S. mean the need for sunscreen is also increasing. The good news is that sunscreen products are appearing–often on sale–in anticipation of the pool openings and barbecues that are common during Memorial Day weekend.

Wearing sunscreen is about more than simply avoiding pain or, if you’re like me, sandal and t-shirt tan lines; it can help prevent signs of aging and even skin cancer (check out these skin cancer prevention tips from the Centers for Disease Control). Because I’m both an outdoorsy sweaty Betty and the proud owner of annual family pool passes, I prefer sunscreens that can protect me during a variety of activities. I prefer sweat- and waterproof, sports-oriented brands, which in my experience tend to have more staying power, and I’m careful to reapply as directed on the label. The “Ultra Sweatproof” claim on Coppertone Sport Breathable Sunscreen in SPF 30 sold me last summer, and it did the job while gardening, biking, swimming, and hiking. Your mileage may vary, but I prefer lotions to sprays because I think you get more bang for your buck – which matters to us big girls with more surface area to cover and who are active outdoors in sunny weather. If you shop online, don’t forget to Google “[Sunscreen Brand Name] coupon” or “[Your preferred retailer] coupon code” to scope out any specials on products and/or shipping. And if you decide to try kayaking for the first time this year, be sure to check out The Fat Girl’s Guide to Kayaking – and don’t forget those shins!

Cute, casual pants are a great staple for every wardrobe

I’d describe myself as less “fashion challenged” than “generously erring on the side of comfort.” Jeans or capris + long- or short-sleeved tees = one happy me. I do love finding unique, feminine blouses and dresses for special occasions, but for everyday? Low-key is my fashion mantra.

Sometimes, however, too much of a good thing can backfire, as it did for me in recent years. Gaining over sixty pounds while having kids caused me to take the whole comfort thing too far, in part because I was very, very tired and also because I had to re-learn how to dress my post-babies body. Where I’d always worn tops for a small chest and bottoms for a flat belly, I now had an entirely new shape to adorn (turns out baggy, curve-hiding clothes made me look heavier, not smaller). Writing for and editing FGG has helped me upgrade my fashion sensibility from a slouchy, “who cares” attitude to one that proves that casual can still be cute. Also, since learning to dress to flatter the body I have now instead of pining for those pre-pregnancy days, shopping has become fun again.

That’s where these Mona pants by Gloria Vanderbilt® come in. They’re versatile (easily dressed up or down), they’re comfortable (smooth, lightweight, stretchy fabric) and they’re flattering (able to leap my curves in a single bound while also forming a nice, straight line without tapering into the dreaded “mom jeans” territory). More to love: in addition to these straight leg pants, the Gloria Vanderbilt® Mona is also available as Capri pants and Bermuda shorts, they come in sizes 16W-24W and as of this writing, all are on sale at Kohls.com.

Tell us, girls: Have you learned any new tips on how to dress for your body type? Found any cute, casual plus size styles on sale? Share the stuff you love in comments.

Bikes have never been cuter – or more comfortable! (Image by ubrayj02)

From remakes of old skool flicks (including the recent redo of A Nightmare on Elm Street) to the return of skinny jeans and ballet flats, it seems everything old really is new again. Sometimes, as in the case of the latest trend in bicycling, this is a very good thing. Search for “retro” or “cruiser” and “bike,” and your browser will display a two-wheeled blast from the past. I don’t know about you, but my first thoughts when I first saw Tee’s Craisglist score of an Electra “Twiggy” was: that seat looks COMFY!

Before I began bicycling regularly, I dreaded that first ride of the season because my butt would be sore afterward (even though I always recovered by the second or third ride). According to Tee, this isn’t as much of an issue with the wider, springier (literally) cruiser bike seat. That was a big deal for her because getting back on a bike after many years can easily be discouraging if your butt is sore all the time. This style of seat also mitigates the “butt overflow” factor common with today’s standard bike seats — a nice boost for both comfort and self esteem.

Because road bikes tend to feel flimsy and intimidating to girls who haven’t been on a bike in a long time, cruisers offer a bit of brawn to support a big girl who wants a leisurely riding experience. Cruiser bikes marvelously mesh mountain bike sturdiness with road bike agility while allowing riders to sit upright instead of hunching or leaning forward as riders do on more athletic styles. Plus, they look both cool and stylishly cute and come in fun, flirty colors like ivory, pink, and powder blue – and we know it never hurts to look adorable, even while bicycling.

Designed for recreational riding, cruisers are also less complicated to operate than bikes designed for distance or rugged terrain. They can handle city streets and a gravel country road equally well, making them a good transitional bike for those who want to move on to more athletic models at some point. There tend to be fewer gears and some models come with pedal braking systems, which might feel more familiar for more tentative riders to operate. Most major manufacturers like Schwinn and Trek and outfitters like REI offer cruisers in a range of prices, but don’t forget to check Craigslist for gently used bikes – Tee found hers for a fraction of the retail price. Big box retailers like Target and Walmart also carry cruisers at lower prices, so there’s something for just about any budget out there.

Tee says she loves all of the great comments she gets when she rides around the streets and trails of Reno. “Everywhere I go, people LOVE this bike and smile and wave and comment on it, which ends up feeling a lot better than the ‘fat girl on a bike’ looks I expected I might get.” This is the perfect time of year for a leisurely ride and for getting out and looking cute – and cruisers offer us fat girls the perfect excuse to ride in safety and style. If you’ve been hesitant to try bicycling for a while, consider testing out a cruiser and seeing if you won’t love one, too.

Girls, have you embraced the retro cruiser bike trend? Tell us what you think in comments. And if you find yourself jonesing for a new bike, check out the Fat Girl’s Guide to Cycling for tips on getting started.

Self-appreciation comes when we reframe our “imperfections”

One of my favorite movie moments comes from the film Shirley Valentine, the story of an under-appreciated mom who ditches her husband and teenagers to pursue her decades-long dream of traveling to Greece. She meets a handsome local who seduces her on his sailboat, kissing her body and admiring her stretch marks as beautiful badges of honor. I let out a cheer when I heard him utter those words, until the lead character, Shirley Valentine (played marvelously by Pauline Collins) looks at the camera and deadpans, “Aren’t men full of shit?”

Great line, right? I laughed. But as much as I adore the Shirley Valentine character, I have to side with the boyfriend here. Sure, stretch marks aren’t glamorous, and I’d rather not wave mine around at the pool, but I’d guess that for many of us they’re the norm, whether through childbearing or weight gain (or both).

A few years ago, I was out walking with my family after dinner when I noticed a young woman walking with a toddler. She had the same soft midsection that’s so common for those of us for whom hitting the gym wasn’t a big priority after giving birth. For the first time in my life, I found that soft belly look adorable. Endearing. It said something, and meant something: I grew a person with my body, and it changed me.

What delightfully imperfect part of your body do you love most, and why? Tell us in comments!

It’s been swirling around the blogosphere since last week, but in case you haven’t heard, reports emerged stating that two television networks, Fox and ABC, refused to air Lane Bryant’s new ad for Cacique lingerie. However, both networks run similarly racy Victoria’s Secret ads during prime time viewing hours, leading to speculation over whether the model’s size 16 bod was the reason behind the rejection. While the PR battle between Lane Bryant and the networks continues, let’s focus on a different issue: how awesome this ad is. Click below to view.

Sure, the model featured in the ad, Ashley Graham, is a size 16 – really on the cusp of plus size nowadays. But considering what usually passes for the female standard on television, this might be the beginning of a shift in both media perceptions and portrayals. Setting aside whether ads of this nature objectify women, and whether this is right or wrong, showing women with curves and some meat on their bones moving about with confidence, sass, and energy promotes just the sort of self image we value here at FGG.

Since the controversy first broke, both networks have agreed to air the ad during later portions of popular prime time programming. And Lane Bryant’s initial loss is now our gain, as the company is offering customers who visit www.lanebryant.com/sexy 40% off Cacique lingerie. And we’re excited that people are talking about what defines sexy, and whether it’s related to size at all. We’d be happy with a looser association.

Readers, tell us: What do you think of these ads, especially compared to Victoria’s Secret commercials? Are either or both too much of a good thing, or do they each strike the perfect note?

Image by Chelsea Ruth

Recently I saw a photo a friend captured of me during a weekend away in Chicago, and I was struck by how happy I looked. Joyful, with a side helping of silly and a dash of “probably about to crack wise.” I think we all need to have photos of ourselves that take us by surprise like this, that show our inner beauty reflected outward. This week’s image captures that spirit of joy we should each attain for ourselves. It’s contagious–I dare you to look at this vibrant smile and not want to smile yourself. Another cherished photo of mine features my parents and brother meeting my first son for the very first time; I’ve never seen my family look more beautiful than in that moment. When a dear friend’s son welcomed his first child into the world last week, his mom captured the palpable love and happiness on his face as he greeted his new daughter.

From our most memorable to our tiniest bits of silliness, seeing ourselves happy makes our burdens that much lighter. So we have a challenge for you camera-shy girls, because we all know how some of us carrying extra weight avoid being photographed. Take your camera out with a good friend who makes you giggle and get some great photos of yourself. Or at your next big event, take a chance and make sure you’re part of the photographs from that day instead of being the one behind or hiding from the camera, to firmly ground yourself in the happiness of that moment. I can tell you that as a big girl with a few more years under her belt than some of you reading now, you’ll look back on those joyful moments from decades ago, feel that happiness shining through and wonder why you ever felt the need to hide.

Tell us: what brings you joy? What does your happiest photo, memory, or both, look like?