The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

We asked, and you answered: “What’s the FIRST word that comes to mind when you think of yoga?” From your 100+ responses, we randomly selected a winner:

::drumroll::

Sherri, who wrote “***energizing***” as her one-word association with the word “yoga.”

Congratulations, Sherri!

Please email your mailing address to: letters AT fatgirlsguidetoliving DOT com so we can send your copy of Plus-Sized Yoga: Beginners Yoga for People of All Sizes by Donald Keith Stanley.

Thanks for playing along, everyone! Tee and I got a kick out of your creativity and humor when answering this question. And Sherri and anyone else who picks up a copy of this book: please write to tell us what you think of it–we love reader mail! Stay tuned, as we’re planning more reader giveaways in the future.

Nothing says “vacation” like accessorizing with a paper umbrella

If you caught last week’s Part I of our Guide to Taking a Cruise (and if you haven’t yet, what are you waiting for?) you’re in good shape when it comes to researching and packing for the big trip. Read on for ways to make yourself at home aboard your chosen vessel.

Cruise with confidence, ladies!

Many first-time cruisers feel anxiety about their safety aboard a large liner, or what will happen in case of an emergency. Rest assured that every cruise, no matter what line you choose, begins with a mandatory safety drill for all passengers. During your first night on the ship, you’ll don a life jacket and gather with your fellow passengers (likely in the theater or auditorium) as staff review all safety procedures.

If you’re cruising as a fat girl, you may also have concerns about the logistics of these safety procedures. Questions range from “Will the life jacket fit?” to “How safe are those lifeboats, anyway?” While the best resource for answering your specific questions is often the cruise line staff (and I have heard of travelers bringing their own life jackets in extreme circumstances), take comfort in the fact that these devices are incredibly adjustable. Even for an incredibly, um, over-blessed girl like me, the most uncomfortable part of the safety drill wasn’t wearing a big, awkward vest over my girls – it was sitting in a squinchy auditorium chair (more on those later) during the lengthy rundown. Further, all of the transitional vehicles you’ll encounter on a cruise (lifeboats, tenders to take you to and from smaller islands, etc.) are tested and sturdy enough to withstand far more than any of us could throw at them.

Three words for stateroom selection: Location, location, location.

Part I of this Guide asked you to sort out your priorities for your overall cruise experience, and the same rules apply when choosing your stateroom. Get out the map of your cruise ship (visit your line’s web site or Cruise Deck Plans) and do some research. Avoid booking a room that adjoins with another unless you’re traveling as a family or group and know exactly who you’ll place on the other side of that wall. If you’re a light sleeper or otherwise noise-sensitive, you’ll want to steer clear of rooms under hotspot common areas like restaurants, pools, theaters, or casinos. Elevators and stairways also generate lots of noise and can be heavily trafficked at all hours, so the rooms farthest away will be the quietest and experience the fewest passerby disruptions. If mobility is an issue, however, opt for a location near the elevators so you’re not forced to cover the length of a hallway every time you visit your room. Wheelchair-accessible rooms are also available.

Veteran tip: As a general rule, the closer you are to the back of the ship, the greater the chances you’ll be affected by machinery noise (especially from the rudders) and ship movement. If you’re prone to motion sickness, choose a stateroom as close to the front of the ship as possible.

If your stateroom were truly a state, it would be Rhode Island.

Although the average hotel room offers approximately 300 square feet of space, the equivalent price point in cruise cabin accommodations only averages between 150-200 square feet. Unless you upgrade to a suite, mini-suite or villa level, your whole cabin – beds, seating and dressing areas and yes, the bathroom – will fit in a narrow space about as large as a medium-size bedroom. The good news is that cruises offer so much to see and experience that most travelers don’t spend much time in their staterooms unless they’re sleeping, changing or getting ready for the day. My friends and I put that theory to the test in 2008 when three of us shared a single, interior (windowless) stateroom for nine days. (You’d be amazed how much luggage will stow under a twin bed.)

Most dual-occupancy staterooms provide two twin beds that can be combined to form a queen; if you’re booking a cabin that accommodates three or four passengers (as we did on the NCL Jewel) you may also encounter upper berths that fold down from the wall to create a bunk bed-like effect above the twin beds. While the upper berths may sleep a child comfortably and safely, they are decidedly not fat girl-friendly. We took one look at the relatively flimsy bolts and hinges and decided we’d be pulling the mattress off the platform and down to the floor for bedtimes. There was exactly enough space between the twin beds to slide the third twin mattress, and we each climbed in and out of our respective bed from the foot.

Veteran tip: Unless you’re ready to get super cozy and take turns hitting the floor, it’s worth checking to see if a mini-suite with a pullout sofa would be comparable in price or a worthwhile splurge.

Bathroom accommodations require some creative maneuvering.

Even if you’re flush enough to afford a suite or a room with a balcony, don’t expect the upgrade to automatically extend to the bathroom. Bathing accommodations remain mega-tight and shower-only unless you spring for the highest price digs, which then may include shower/tub combos and space enough to not bang into walls when turning around. Otherwise, plan to spend as little time in the bathroom as possible and get your relaxation fix poolside or at the spa.

Bathroom layouts vary from ship to ship. Some designs include glass or plastic partitions between the toilet/sink/shower portions of the room; others turn the toilet at an odd angle to accommodate the cramped room layout. Toilets also frequently sit awkwardly close to the wall, forcing taller or heavier cruisers to adopt a sideways seated position (or temporarily remove the toilet paper holder) in order to provide hip clearance and avoid knees hitting the forward wall.

When it comes to the shower, expect another snug experience. Whether the space is closed off with a shower curtain or a door, there won’t be much room to spare. This is another subject ripe for the boards at Cruise Critic or CruiseMates, where you can read firsthand accounts from fellow travelers — some members will even have specific room measurements or photos to share. Everyone in our plus-sized group did fine in the NCL shower, but if necessary, you can always ask for extra towels to line the floor outside the shower area if the curtain or door won’t close fully. Wheelchair-accessible rooms offer more generously sized, roll-in showers, but ships offer limited quantities of these rooms and they are often occupied by cruisers requiring a chair for day-to-day mobility.

Veteran tip: Another great option for more spacious showering (and leg shaving!) is to visit the ship’s fitness center, where you’ll find larger shower stalls and possibly in-stall seating.

“All-inclusive” doesn’t cover everything.

Whether you’re cruising freestyle or sitting down to formal dinners, the food is sure to be decadent, plentiful and rich with variety. Avoid any unwelcome surprises by knowing exactly what your “all-inclusive” package really includes. In most cases, all food served in onboard restaurants will be included (some ships may charge a cover for certain restaurants; see Part I of this Guide). Many ships extend the all-inclusive rule to a limited menu of room service items as well. Coffee is included, but soft drinks and alcohol are not. Each time you purchase a non-included beverage, the bartender or wait staff will swipe your cruise ID just like a credit card, with all charges (usually including a transactional gratuity) going directly onto your room bill.

If soft drinks are a must-have (or if you’re hoping to keep your umbrella drink expenses to a manageable amount), consider purchasing an all-you-can-drink soda pass. For a fixed price (usually priced out per day; we paid approximately $55 for nine days), you get a sticker or card entitling you to free fill-ups anywhere on the ship. The price may seem steep, but with each can/glass of Diet Coke costing $2-$4, this was cheaper than ordering separate drinks – plus gratuities – a few times per day. Be ready to make a decision quickly, though – this offer is usually only valid on the first day of your voyage. And if you’re picky about Coke vs. Pepsi, you may be out of luck.

Make your dining experience easy and enjoyable.

When it comes to seating, freestyle cruisers will encounter the same realities present in mainland restaurants: each setting will offer a different table, booth and seating configuration, so it’s a matter of requesting the setup that’s most comfortable for you. Try doing a tour of the many dining room options after getting settled on the ship so you know which ones will offer challenges (narrow armchairs, for example) and plan your meals accordingly.

If you’re opting for traditional dining room meals, check in with the maitre d’ before your first meal and request a chair with no arms, or a table that’s easily accessible from a main aisle so no one needs to squeeze by your chair, etc. Taking care of this when you first board the ship will usually enable you to reserve your preferred table and seat for the duration of the cruise.

Veteran tip: Research the tipping policy on your ship. Many cruise lines employ a fixed gratuity scale (e.g. $10 per day, automatically billed to your room account) to “streamline” tipping on the boat and cover the many staff members you encounter during your voyage. Other lines offer the option to increase/decrease the gratuity provided to housekeeping vs. dining staff, etc. Be sure you know how much you’ll be billed and what other services might incur additional gratuities (spa services, each bar beverage etc.).

There’s a way to feel comfortable in almost any part of the ship.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned by now it’s that cruises have something for everyone, and that includes a comfy place to sit. From poolside restaurants to various bars and lounges, armless chairs, stools and loveseats are plentiful. Deck chairs are remarkably robust and usually armless. Sometimes the more tucked-away outer promenades will even have stacks of lounge chairs to set up in sun or shade. One of our favorite spots on the Jewel was a velvety plush, oversized chaise in the largest lounge; it comfortably accommodated three sprawling cat-nappers on our at-sea days.

The one exception to the “make you comfy” rule seems to be the auditorium seating in the ship theaters. Travelers on most ships report these seats to be narrow (ours sure were) and without the moveable armrests you often find at the local multiplex. Once again, scope out the theater during (or after) the mandatory emergency drill and see if there are armless chairs. These will likely fill quickly during shows, as will aisle or end-of-row seating. If you plan to attend one or more shows (NCL’s Cirque Bijou performance was amazing), be sure to hit the theater early to score your preferred seat.

Lastly, never be afraid to ask the ship’s staff for recommendations or assistance with any special need or request you might have. They’re accustomed to solving on-board challenges and are there to make your cruise experience all it can be. Good luck and happy sailing!

What’s the one thing you wish someone had told you before you cruised? Or what questions do you still have? Tell us in comments.

One of our first Fat Girl’s Guides covered how to practice yoga when your boobs and belly are, shall we say, significant enough to render certain poses difficult without a skilled instructor to offer alternatives. Now we’d like to offer our readers a free copy of Plus-Sized Yoga: Beginners Yoga for People of All Sizes by Donald Keith Stanley. A yoga student for many years, Stanley worked with yoga instructors and students to develop this guide for “the rest of us,” dispelling the myth that you have to look like a cover model to practice yoga. The book also covers the many benefits of yoga, including improved posture, stress relief, and improved focus and sleeping patterns – benefits Toni can happily attest to since returning to practice at the beginning of this year.

To enter, comment here with the FIRST word that comes to mind when you hear the word “yoga,” and you’ll be automatically entered in the drawing. (One entry per person and you must enter a valid email address).

The contest closes Wednesday, March 10 at 11:59 pm CST. A winner will be chosen at random from the comments, and will be notified by email within 24 hours after the contest closes.

This week’s Fat Girl’s Guide is the first installment of a two-part series. Part I takes you through all your cruise prep – from research to wardrobe. Next week’s Guide will be crammed with ways to make the most of your onboard experience.

A few things are certain on a cruise: Drinks will be ridiculously expensive. By Day 3, you’ll begin to recognize other passengers and to make up nicknames and stories for them (“Needs-to-Lay-Off-the-Spray-Tan Lady,” “Guy with Giant Smurf Tattoo”). If your name is “Angela,” you will be “The Girl Who Over-Packed” and you will never live it down.

You’ll notice one assumption conspicuously absent from that list of guarantees: Everyone will be thin, sporty and cover-model gorgeous.

If anyone has ever told you that fat people don’t cruise, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. The truth is, unless you’re taking a specialty voyage geared toward a particular audience (singles, families, LGBT community, under-30, BBW, etc.), your fellow travelers will represent all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and activity levels. Cruising while fat is the same as tackling any other opportunity — you just need a game plan. And maybe some Dramamine.

Determine your travel style.

The options are almost limitless when it comes to voyage length, destination, ship amenities and formality level, so a savvy girl and her traveling companion(s) need to set a few basic priorities before booking. Will you spend most of your time on the ship, or do you plan to see the sights at each port? What amenities are the most important to you? Fabulous spa? Tons of pools? Luxurious bedding? Unique on-board activities like bowling or a climbing wall? Do you want lots of kid-friendly activities or a more relaxed, adult pace? Lengthier cruises tend to attract more seasoned travelers and retirees, while voyages during school breaks will be loaded with kids. Compile a list of must-haves (spa!), negotiables (bedding), and deal-breakers (tons of kids if you’re looking for a singles experience) and see if you can find a cruise line and voyage that meets your needs.

Your dining experience requires more planning than you think.

We know fat girls sometimes feel more confident in casual wear vs. formal (or vice versa), so it’s important to know your comfort level before committing to a particular ship. Do you love the idea of getting dressed up in the evening, chatting with new friends and having a set dinner time? You’ll probably be a fan of more traditional cruises, offered by many lines (Carnival is one example). Although a number of lines have begun offering flexible dinner times or a 24-hour cafeteria on some ships, the traditional cruise dinner experience matches you with a set group of dining companions at a fixed time throughout your voyage. Dress codes are more formal as well, and some may require cocktail attire.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of chatting up new people, or if you enjoy a more casual experience and a higher level of flexibility, you’re definitely a candidate for “freestyle” cruising. Employed most notably by Norwegian, but gaining traction on other lines, freestyle is just what it sounds like — freedom to choose where and when you eat, and with whom you share meals. During our nine days aboard the Norwegian Jewel, my friends and I dined in eight different restaurants at times ranging from 5:30-10:30 p.m. With the exception of the Japanese steakhouse, we never shared tables with other passengers. Shorts, jeans and tank tops are off-limits everywhere but the buffet, but basic, casual cruise wear (check with your line for their rules on casual and formal dress) was appropriate for all other restaurants.

Veteran tip: Even if you cruise freestyle, be prepared to do some on-board planning. Reservations (made up to 24 hours in advance) are usually required at non-buffet restaurants, while a few of the boutique dining options (steak house, hibachi, Asian cuisine) required a $10-$20 cover charge.

Once you’ve set your priorities, dig in to researching, purchasing and planning.

Put time and thought into planning your cruise vacation. If you’ve heard good things about a particular cruise line, or spotted a great bargain, explore every inch of the web site, including the FAQ and virtual tours of staterooms, dining rooms and amenities. Many lines will offer basic info in the sections for first-time cruisers and some sites also offer a community area to network with other passengers.

For feedback beyond the colorful marketing pictures and exciting descriptions, turn to independent web sites like Cruise Diva, which offers summaries and reviews of each cruise line’s concept, in addition to the individual ships in its fleet. Cruise Critic and CruiseMates each provide news and reviews, as well as bustling online communities that are phenomenal resources. Comb through discussion threads by cruise line or topic (Cruise Critic is even searchable), or create a user account and post your own questions. Many of the message boardies are hardcore — having traveled on a dozen or more cruises — so their insights are usually pretty helpful. You also may be surprised to see how many of the questions pertain to weight issues or fears about size.

Veteran tip: Cruise lines take care of their online communities. On a recent  NCL sailing, members of an active message board group attended an exclusive on-board party and were invited to tour the ship’s bridge and rub elbows with the captain.

Read the fine print before booking excursions.

Both the cruise line’s web site and the independent message boards provide a wealth of information regarding excursions offered at every port. Again, corporate descriptions will be glossier, while you’ll get more of the down-and-dirty scoop from fellow travelers. Whether deciding on a cruise-sponsored excursion (higher costs but more accountability to you as the customer) or seeking an independent tour guide or vendor in a port city (lower costs, smaller group sizes, more customer responsibility to vet thoroughly), be sure you understand everything about the activities. Some excursions (zip lines, ATV travel, helicopter tours, some smaller boats or kayaks) will have clearly outlined weight limits of 200 lbs, 250 lbs, 400 pounds per 2-person boat, etc. Many tours and excursions will outline the exertion level involved or provide a list of activities a participant must be able to accomplish (climbing stairs, walking a mile, walking on uneven terrain, climbing into and out of boat, etc.). Again, many travelers on message boards will have done these activities and can give you honest feedback. If you feel nervous or unsure about any portion of a description, never hesitate to contact the cruise line or the vendor.

While there are definitely some activities off-limits to larger travelers (I doubt I’ll ever be welcome on a zip line!), it’s important to realize the vast majority of the options are things most of us can do. There wasn’t a  remotely skinny person in our Caribbean travel group, yet we snorkeled, climbed catamaran ladders, swam with dolphins, hiked down to view a volcano, rode tenders out to play with stingrays, and toured an island on an 18-person bus that resembled a clown car. Be honest with yourself about your limitations, but don’t let worries over your size keep you from trying something new.

Pack a few different swimwear pieces.

The two-suit rule is a gimme; no one likes climbing into a wet swimsuit, and sardine-can staterooms don’t afford great options for ventilated drying. Aside from doubling up, however,  you may want to consider multiple styles of swimwear (like a skirted option and a one-piece, even if you’re vehemently pro-skirt) or top & bottom separates that you can mix and match, especially once you determine which excursions you’ll be taking. Dressing for a tour of Mayan ruins or a day at the beach is pretty easy, but several of the tropical excursions involve multiple components that require you to be clothed one minute (in a local restaurant, for example) and ready for swimming the next. For these swim/land hybrid excursions, don’t wear a swim dress with a built-in skirt if you hope to put a pair of shorts or pants over it for the land portion. Few things are as uncomfortable as trudging around for several hours with a soaking-wet mass of fabric balled up at your waist (the skirt part on many swim dresses takes forever to dry). I MacGuyvered this problem when I encountered it by gathering the skirt at one side with an elastic hair band, but believe me, it was not my finest hour.

Look for quick-drying, versatile, over-the-suit options, like these multipurpose shorts from Junonia, available in sizes up to 4X. We also like the selection of swim shorts and activewear from lines such as Lands End, Danskin or Faded Glory. And even if you’re not leaving the ship, remember to pack a cover-up, sarong or pair of swim shorts for the lengthy trips between your stateroom and the pool.

Veteran tip: Plan your excursion outfits to be useful regardless of activity order. Our day in St. Lucia was described chronologically as land/lunch/swim/sail, but we learned that half the groups go in reverse order to manage crowding with the tour vendors.

Supportive, broken-in shoes or sandals are a must.

Whether you plan to disembark at every port or just chill on the ship, prepare to do a good amount of walking. Cruise ships are enormous floating civilizations, and the distance you’ll cover just traveling between your room and the various locations onboard will surprise you. Additionally, some excursions may involve wet conditions, walking over varied terrain, climbing up or down stairs, etc. I’ve never been able to walk comfortably in flip-flops; they don’t stay on my feet and they provide zero support. If you’re like me, consider sandals from Chaco or Teva, which offer good tread while providing ventilation and supportive ankle straps. There’s also the Crocs option. Yes, they are as fugly as shoes come, but – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they were a godsend for the port days when our itinerary involved a sloshy catamaran ride, stops to swim and snorkel, hiking down into a volcano, and a bus tour of the island – all in a single outfit. Crocs were easy to clean when sandy or dirty, they went from wet to dry conditions without problem, and I didn’t care if I ruined or lost them.

Veteran tip: Get a rush of accomplishment by wearing a pedometer to track all those steps you’ll take during your cruise. Plus, you’ll know without a doubt you’ve earned that trip to the midnight chocoholic buffet!

Come back next Thursday for Part II — all about selecting/maximizing your stateroom, on-board accommodations and (of course) the food! In the meantime: Been cruisin’? Tell us your packing must-haves or share tips for finding a fat girl-friendly ship and excursions that excite.

Maria, testing her “climbing legs”

A couple of weeks ago my friend and fellow Biggest Little City Losers contestant, Maria, called with a proposition. It went a little something like this:

Her: “We should go rock climbing tomorrow!”
Me: “Uhhhh…”
Her: “Come on, it would be fun!”
Me: “Uhhh…”

Turns out she had called a local rock climbing gym to see if they’d be interested in sponsoring a team challenge for the Biggest Little City Losers. Not only were they interested, they were really psyched, and they wanted Maria and I to come by for a couple of complementary climbing lessons before bringing the whole group in.

Now let me just say that I don’t typically have a fear of trying new or weird things. I’ve been hiking, biking, scrambling, kayaking and canoeing, I’ve washed my hair in icy cold Minnesota lakes and washed my clothes in humid, mosquito-infested North Carolina ones. I have moved long distances on short notice with only a vague idea of where I’d live and what I’d do. My personal blog has lived at adventurejournalist.com for almost ten years, and I catered my own wilderness wedding. You get the idea.

But I have never been rock climbing. This is not for a lack of opportunity, my husband is an avid rock and ice climber and I live in one of the most popular regions for rock climbing in the continental United States. The truth is, I haven’t been rock climbing because:

1. I am deathly afraid of heights.
2. I am especially afraid of heights in which I, overweight by a good number of pounds, am dangling from a rope with my life in the hands of one person wayyyyy down there who is using nothing more than their own body weight and a tiny device that sounds like an extinct bird, a frail bird, which may be why it’s extinct, to keep me alive.

That, and I’ve heard the shoes are uncomfortable.

But because I was the group leader, and because I’d been preaching the virtues of overcoming fears and trying difficult things, I was stuck. I would have to go rock climbing. So with no idea what to expect, we made arrangements to meet the following morning at Rocksport in Reno.

Fast forward two scary hours, and my conclusion was: rock climbing is hard. But it can be conquered – whether you’re 100 pounds or 300.

Here’s what we learned:

Climbing harnesses come in generous sizes. This was a pleasant surprise. Instead of letting them out to fit our butts and bellies, we actually had to tighten them down. Bonus ego boost! And they were pretty comfortable to wear. Another surprise. Though fair warning: those of us who like to wear long shirts to cover our abs and hips will have to suck it up – the harness, roped in, bares all.

Don’t worry if you’re a positively prolific perspirer. Lots of new climbers worry that their hands will slip off the holds if they get too sweaty, a common issue with overweight women and men. Every climber has a bag of chalk clipped to their harness, perfect for dipping sweaty hands to give them dry “tread” to grab with. Having chalky hands seemed to instill psychological confidence, too.

Tied properly, those ropes hold more than you think. I took one look at that deceptively thin rope with the tiny knot at the end and thought, no way is that thing gonna hold either of us. I wondered for several deer-in-the-headlights minutes if they had ever tested those ropes on people built like Maria and I. They assured us they’ve seen, and belayed, far bigger. So I roped in, and, as evidenced my ability to write this guide, they did hold.

The climbing is actually the easy part. It’s coming down that’s scary. Proper form coming down the wall is to completely let go of the holds and wrap your hands around the rope (a terrifying moment), forming an L-shape with your body so that you’re “sitting” on the air with your feet against the rock. Oy. The belayer, on the ground (in this case a woman of about 120 pounds), then slowly releases the rope through the extinct bird device, called a Grigri, lowering you as you walk your feet down the face of the rock.

Take advantage of ground anchoring where available. And it really should be available everywhere you climb. These are multiple loops of strong cloth or other material anchored to the ground that a belayer can clip into to stabilize themselves against the weight of the climber. If a climber should slip or let go of the wall before the belayer has the rope in proper position and coming correctly through the Grigri, he or she can easily find themselves launching up off the ground and soon face to face with a very surprised climber.

Keeping your whole body close to the rock wall is key. While most of what I learned about climbing shattered the myth that even significantly overweight women can’t or shouldn’t do it, I did learn that anyone carrying around extra weight is at a disadvantage on straight verticals solely because of center-of-gravity fluctuations. We climbed the beginner’s wall, and the slight incline was a big help for us as we learned to stick close. When we tried the vertical wall it was much more difficult to stay on, as gravity was yanking at our ample butts the whole time. Strengthening our forearms and further training to keep our bodies flush against the rock face should help, but I’m afraid pure verticals are an area most overweight folks are likely to find challenging.

The shoes really are uncomfortable. Climbing shoes are designed to make the front of your foot as tiny as possible so it can work with the smallest of holds. Your big toe faces straight forward, and, in the words of our climbing instructor, the rest of your toes should fit in there ’somewhere.’ The first climb I asked for my real shoe size and winced the whole time. The second time around, I asked for a half size larger than I normally take – much better, and no loss of toe flexibility or agility on the rock face.

For me the most interesting part was the lack of height-related fear I expected (this from the girl who can’t look out, or even approach, a 10th floor glass window), even when I made it 3/4 of the way up the wall and looked down. It did seem like the biggest obstacle wasn’t weight or inexperience or even height, but trust: both in myself and in my belay partner. Once we mastered that, we were going up and down the wall effortlessly.

OK, maybe not effortlessly. But at least the gasping and screeching subsided after the first couple of runs.

Have you ever been climbing? Do you have any advice for our readers? Lay it on us in comments!

Note: this guide covered my own experience climbing, which can differ from gym to gym and is unique to indoor environments. I didn’t include technical instructions or equipment information because it’s important to be trained by a professional to use the unique facilities, equipment and protocol at the climbing center you’ve chosen.

Jennifer Rice, owning it on the dance floor

Music and dance are universal among every human culture, and some of the most memorable moments in our lives  and in our favorite movies involve dance. (Scent of a Woman, anyone? Or perhaps you’re a Singing in the Rain kind of girl).  Like music and singing, there’s just something that connects us when we see the human body move, either in time with other bodies or with grace or fiery intensity on its own. While the dance community isn’t quite renowned for body acceptance (yet), times are changing and new forms of dance are evolving along with them, in the arts (check out The Big Ballet), fitness (or do you prefer Vixen Fitness?) and just for fun (Heard of hooping? Read on to learn more). Maybe you’ve always wanted to dance but never took the time. Perhaps you’re shy about putting yourself out there, or worried about any physical limitations due to your size or what shape you’re in (or aren’t). Girls, this is the guide for you.

What will people think of a fat girl dancing?

You know what we’re going to say to this one, right? Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Sure, we make it sound easy to just get out there and shake what your mama gave you when in reality, it isn’t. It’s scary wondering if we’ll be the biggest girl in the room, or unable to move with the rest of the class because we’re novices. We’re all frightened of people mocking or questioning us–it’s human nature.

But taking chances on our own behalf is invigorating, and the more often we nudge our toes past our carefully padded comfort zones, the easier it becomes over time. “We women need to have as much joy in our lives as possible,” says Jennifer Rice, a former competitive swing dancer, curvy girl, and founder of TailspinHoops.com, a site dedicated to “hooping,” a relatively new dance form using – you guessed it – hula hoops. “With all of the obligations we have these days, we need to get back to doing the things that fuel us emotionally and spiritually,” she adds. “If you really want to learn how to dance, denying yourself the joy you’ll feel and that you know in your heart you were meant to experience is to deny one of the reasons you were put on this earth.”

What type of dance should I choose, and are there any forms I should avoid?

“There are two ways to approach this,” says Rochelle Rice (no relation to Jennifer), author of Real Fitness for Real Women and a fitness and dance instructor for plus size women.  “Either try a few things to see what feels right for your body and abilities, or try some of the curvier dance classes, like African, Bollywood, or belly dancing. In Bollywood especially, the movement is slow and centered on the pelvis and the arms, providing a nice way to connect with the body.”

Either way, go for something you think you’ll have fun doing or that you’ve wanted to try for a while. “The best dance styles are the ones that fit your personality and your body,” says Vanessa Isaac, a dance and fitness instructor who created the popular Brazilian Dance Workout. Isaac’s favorites for beginners include: ballroom, belly dancing, modern, salsa, Brazilian, samba (and Latin dance in general), and Nia.

As far as styles to avoid, “hip hop can be hard on the joints, especially if you have an instructor who teaches dance combinations with a lot of level changes (like quickly popping up from a squatting position),” says Jennifer Rice. “Lindy hop, a form of swing dancing, can be tough on the knees for a larger girl because there’s a lot of swiveling involved.” That’s not to say you shouldn’t try these dance forms, but if you aren’t limber in certain areas or have knee or other joint issues, talk with your instructor first and ask about modifying certain moves.

Where should I take lessons, and what should I look for in an instructor or class?

If you’re just starting out, look for beginner level classes – local park districts, recreation centers, and community colleges usually offer beginner level courses that allow students to get a feel for a particular style. Always research what the class is about and the background of the instructor–credentials, how long he or she has been teaching, etc. “The best teachers are the ones with good fitness experience and education, are members of national associations, and are professional dancers themselves,” says Isaac. Talk with students to get a sense of either the style you’re interested in or a specific instructor or studio. If there’s a feeling of community and support in a class, that’s a good sign, says Isaac.

“Make sure to have an open dialogue with your instructor so he or she knows your individual needs,” says Rochelle Rice. “Even if they have limited experience with plus size students, if they’re good, they should be able to figure it out from an anatomical perspective and make modifications you can do instead.” So don’t be afraid to speak up in your favor if you’re unsure about any aspect of a class. “Remember that the right class for you exists and you’ll feel at home when you enter the room,” says Isaac. “It may be uncomfortable at first, but the energy of the people and the instructor will make you feel welcome.” Instructors should be responsive and attentive; if they’re more into themselves than you, or don’t seem receptive to having overweight students, move on and keep looking.

How should I dress?

“First and foremost, get a supportive bra like an Enell or a sports bra,” says Rochelle Rice. “This protects the breasts and makes it easier to move while doing turns and other moves.” Rice often sees women overdress for dance classes, which leaves them feeling overheated and flustered instead of focused on the movements. “Leave the sweatpants at home,” she says. A breathable v-neck tee and leggings that aren’t too thick are great for starters. Call ahead to ask what you should wear, since every type of dance will have its own attendant gear, from tap shoes to ballroom dance shoes with smooth soles that allow dancers to glide across the floor.

Are you ready to try this, girls? Please come back and tell us about it if you do. And remember, “It’s not just about getting out there and doing something new, it’s about holding your head high and owning it,” says Jennifer Rice.

That’s the FGG spirit. If that’s not enough inspiration for you, here’s a glimpse of how much fun it can be to get up, get out there, and dance, courtesy of Jennifer Rice:

Photo by Mike Baird

This question landed in our inbox this morning, and because time was of the essence, we decided to (ahem) gallop with it:

Hello! I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m going horse riding for the first time for a hen’s weekend and am more than a little anxious about it. I’d really appreciate any and all advice.”

This isn’t the first time we’ve received a question about horseback riding, particularly whether a bigger gal might be too much for a horse to handle. We poked around online a bit and found that there is some controversy in this area; obviously people of all shapes and sizes can and do ride horses, but in the equestrian community, opinions can be pretty strong about how big is too big, but reading between the lines it seems that it is possible to ride responsibly if you’re overweight.

We spoke with Mary Midkiff, founder of Women & Horses,™ which covers female-specific training with an eye toward the care of and empathy for the horses while riding. Many big, tall men ride horses, and we wondered whether this was analogous to a 250-pound woman mounting up, and Midkiff agreed. “You could hurt the horse if the horse is too small,” she said. “For a person of that size, I’d want to see them on a draft horse or a draft type horse–in other words, a heavy-boned, bigger horse.” Before riding, call and ask if there are any weight limitations for riders, because every place will have horses of different sizes and abilities, and every stable will have different preferences about riders’ ability levels and size.

What to wear

We’ve all seen cowboys riding horses, and cowboys (and girls) wear jeans, right? Not if you’re a beginner, says Midkiff. “They’ll rub you around the knee, calf, and upper thigh, and the seams at the crotch can be uncomfortable over time.” She suggests investing in a pair of plus size riding tights, or if you’re not sure you’ll be riding often, wear pants with a straight leg that stretch well with some padded bicycling shorts underneath. “Some women are embarrassed to wear riding tights because they are tight and they do show a lot, but you can wear a longer shirt or jacket over them,” says Midkiff. Skip the yoga pants or boot cut jeans if you’ll be riding English style (as opposed to Western style–read about the differences here), to prevent getting caught in the stirrups.

There’s a reason cowboy boots have heels, and so should your footwear when riding. A shoe or boot with a 1″ heel will keep your foot from sliding through the stirrup, so leave your gym shoes at home. Some Western saddles have toe guards, but unless you know your stable will have them, don’t count on that. Midkiff insists on protective headgear, too: “There are equestrian-specific helmets that meet the safety standards for riding and run in the $30-50 range,” she says. Most, if not all outfitters provide helmets, but Midkiff suggests bringing a bicycle helmet along just in case. Finally, here’s where having an Enell or similarly structured, high impact, minimum bounce sports bra will serve you well, because there will be bouncing–even more if your horse decides to trot, canter, or is spooked.

Before you ride

Horseback riding doesn’t just bounce your jiggly parts, it also works your inner thighs in ways most other activities don’t. Therefore, stretching the inner thighs is important and warming up the core muscles with some pelvic tilts is a good idea, too.  “Always ask your outfitter for a mounting block or to stand on a hay bale – something secure and sturdy – to help you mount the horse,” says Midkiff. “For one thing, you don’t want to stand on anything unstable where you can lose your balance, and if you mount from the ground, you torque the horse’s back.” A good outfitter will demonstrate how to mount and then help you properly–and safely–climb aboard.

After riding

If you’re sore after riding, Midkiff recommends a hot bath with bath salts to soothe aching muscles. Expect soreness in the inner thighs, glutes, and piriformis muscles. “You’re doing a lot of gripping with the inner thighs just naturally while riding,” says Midkiff. “So when you get off, you’ll feel like one of those bowlegged cowboys.” For bruises, she suggests arnica gel or lotion, which you can find at most natural or health food stores.

Girls, share your own experiences with horseback riding in comments, and if you love horses, too, consider contributing to an organization right in Toni’s back yard, the Hooved Animal Humane Society.