The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

You’re busy. We get that. Catch up here. (Image by thewaltonsare)

Here at FGG, we understand busy lives–nurturing, working, gardening, entertaining, remodeling, traveling, healing, being. We know that everyone’s to-do lists can extend for pages, making us even more grateful for you readers who take the time to visit, read, and comment on this site. True confession time: sometimes, we mark the dozens of posts in our RSS feeds as “read,” despite the brief pain of knowing we’re missing some great stuff from our favorite sites. In that spirit, at the end of each month, we’ll be offering a roundup of what you may have missed or might want to revisit.

Here are some highlights from May:

If it’s late spring where you live, many public swimming pools and water parks opened this past weekend. Our Guide to Figure-flattering Swimwear for plus-size women should prove helpful, along with our Ask FGG entry that tackled sarongs for wider hips – and don’t forget your sweatproof (and waterproof) sunscreen when you hit the pool, girls! If you have a garden party or barbecue to attend, consider bringing these Ricotta & Cream Cheese Stuffed Strawberries – a treat as pretty as it is fresh and tasty. On the more decadent side, these Cupcake Cones make an equally pretty and unique party dessert.

If you’re stressing about attending events where you’re the only big gal there, our thought-provoking Guide to Surviving Social Situations with Skinny Friends might provide a welcome confidence boost. Other feel-fab tips can be found in our Guide to Flattering Hair Cuts for Round Faces and tips on adding sleeves or other cover-ups to sleeveless dresses – or choosing to love your arms just the way they are, per our readers’ suggestions. This month’s Sex and the Single Fat Girl column addressed conflicting feelings that can emerge when stepping out with a date who’s significantly different from you, and It’s A Guy Thing tackled the gulf between media portrayals of women and the reality of today’s plus size population.

To catch up on the rest of FGG during the month of May, check out our archives for more.

Readers, tell us: what was your favorite or most surprising topic from this past month? Coming up: FGG celebrates its first birthday! How do you think we should celebrate?

image by marco sickofgoodbyes

What are some good at-home workouts for beginners?

Whether your goal is weight loss, stress relief, improved flexibility or just stronger muscles and more energy to keep up with household chores/kids/the demands of an average day, the fact is our bodies need to move. Here at FGG, we’ve presented fat-girl-friendly exercise options as diverse as hiking, dance lessons, health club memberships, yoga, indoor rock climbing and – most recently – water aerobics. But what about those of us who aren’t ready to (or interested in) working out in public? Fortunately, the list of at-home workout options is miles long; unfortunately, it can be tricky to find the right starting point, especially if you want to ease your way into becoming more active. That’s why we’re glad to help narrow the search.

(We probably don’t need to say this, but just in case: always get the green light from your health care provider before beginning any new exercise routine, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve worked out).

As always, the best place to start is by understanding your goals. Are you looking for a cardio workout to get the blood flowing? Movements to increase your strength and flexibility? A fun way to get yourself up and off the couch? Or maybe there’s a particular genre of fitness you’ve always wanted to try — something like hip-hop dance or aerobic striptease? Opt for an activity that holds interest for you or risk throwing away your money on DVDs that will only gather dust on your shelf.

For one of the most basic at-home activities, walking,  Leslie Sansone’s “Walk Away the Pounds” series is a tried-and-true fat-girl staple, thanks to easy movements, Sansone’s focus on low-intensity variations, and a perfect-for-rookies one-mile workout that includes a warm-up and cool-down all in 20 minutes. (Note: Don’t sweat the water-filled, two-pound weights Sansone recommends; you can replace them with any hand-held or wrist-worn substitute, grab a couple of soup cans, or just complete the movements sans weights.) Sansone also offers several toning videos that are great for beginners, and her style is upbeat and motivational (if a little chirpy for me some days).

Two examples of routines for plus-sized women by plus-sized women are “Just My Size Yoga with Megan Garcia” and “Look Great, Feel Great: Plus-Sized Pilates.” Both videos feature real-sized hosts most fat girls will identify with, leading viewers through a range of beginning movements with thorough instructions. User reviews absolutely rave about “Just My Size Yoga” and Garcia’s approach, while indicating that “Plus-Sized Pilates” may be for ultra-beginners, as it moves very slowly and features more instruction than continued movement. While this may not provide the start-to-finish workout some desire, it could be helpful for those who are unsure of Pilates and want to try some moves before upgrading to a full routine.

For more ideas and reviews from both real users and the pros, check out Exercise Videos Reviews or Collage Video. And, in addition to tell-it-like-it-is user experiences, you can also find sample clips for many videos on Amazon.com. Your local library may also have some titles for check-out, so take a test drive before investing if you’re skeptical.

Don’t be afraid to think outside the DVD box. Today’s at-home exercise options are (thankfully) far more diverse than in the aerobics-and-crunches days of yore. Nintendo’s Wii Fit Plus alone has revolutionized the concept of working out in your living room by pairing video game fun with moves that promote cardio, strength and balance benefits. With options to customize your workouts and track your progress while choosing activities ranging from hula hooping to snowball fighting to juggling, Wii Fit works hard to take the boredom out of becoming more active.

Another at-home option may even been at your fingertips right now: ExerciseTV is carried by many cable providers, including Comcast, AT&T and Tivo, and the On Demand menu offers dozens of programs each month that you can complete whenever you like. Typical programming includes beginning yoga, 20-minute cardio, walking for diabetics, and sculpting workouts with Kim Kardashian (no, seriously). Workout levels range from beginner to the very advanced. The ExerciseTV Web site also provides training clips and full workout videos available for download. I liked the real body shapes (tummies! hips! arms!) represented by the “Make Me Over 40-Minute Workout,” but the range of motion was more demanding than I expected (a ton of squats), so consider this more of an more intermediate video.

Help add to our list by sharing your favorite at-home exercise routines in comments.

Someone at FGG may have a slight addiction to Gilligan & O’Malley PJs

A recent Ask FGG covered plus size lingerie, and this week, we’re tackling a related reader question:

I’m a size 22 and need to find some cute PJs that don’t cost a fortune or look like something my granny would wear. Help!

This is one I was excited to take on, because after years of wearing men’s flannel PJ pants and over-sized t-shirts, I discovered Gilligan & O’Malley at Target. They’re often much cheaper than Lane Bryant, where it seems the pickins have been slim in the PJ section in their stores lately, too (or is that just me?). Many of the Gilligan & O’Malley pajamas come in a stretchy, silky polyester/spandex fabric that is absolutely divine against your skin. They come in feminine, flirty styles (as opposed to the more matronly offerings many retailers reserve for plus size women). Even better: they’re generously sized. I wore an XXL pajama set (listed as a size 20 online) while pregnant with my third son and pushing a size 24, and I purchased two pair of XL when I was a 22 and they fit comfortably (though I’m not particularly large-chested, so you’ll want to compare these sizes yourself).

The runner-up in the cute plus size pajama department: Wal Mart.

We’re already in love with their affordable-and-cute Danskin Now workout wear, and while I haven’t tried out any of their fabrics, there are quite a few styles to choose from at a great price point – and they go up to a size 3X.

What about you, readers? Find any generously sized, slinky, feminine or sexy PJs for a song lately? Tell us about it in the comments.

The cautionary tale of Wounded soldier by twodolla

As my college friends gathered this weekend to help celebrate my birthday (thanks again, guys!), we excitedly planned our get-togethers for the next several months: Birthdays. Weddings and babies. Pool parties. Camping. All of this outdoor fun brought to mind an age-old fat girl challenge:

Where can I find a portable chair that won’t fold like a bad poker hand when I sit down?

Many of us know the only thing worse than mentally assessing the hip room of every portable camping chair at an outdoor gathering is perching daintily upon a cheapie version and praying that the recommended weight allowance is accurate to the ounce. Actually, there is one thing worse: that horrible moment when dainty doesn’t cut it and said chair unceremoniously dumps its occupant onto her bottom. Ladies, I have heard the sickening CRACK! of a breaking chair, and my goal today is to help ensure none of our readers ever has to do the same. So if you’re an outdoorsy girl seeking comfort, stability, and subtle design (read: NOT the chair equivalent of a muumuu), try taking a load off in one of these tush-friendly finds.

If possible, test Goldilocks-style until you locate “just right.”

Obviously, the best option is to check out your prospective chair using your body’s own specific dimensions. Fold & unfold the chair, try sitting in various positions (fully reclined, leaning forward, legs crossed or propped up, etc.), and stand up using the armrests as leverage. Pay attention to whether the armrests’ support bars or their grommets pinch or dig into your thighs; when they’re iffy after a five-minute test run, imagine how uncomfortable you’ll feel during an evening in front of a bonfire. Overall, look for a chair that feels stable no matter how you sit. And don’t forget to pack it back into its carrying case and try hefting it before you purchase — folding camp chairs shouldn’t be a “team lift” item.

Coleman makes several models that should accommodate plus-sized users without drawing attention to them, such as the Coleman Elite Cooler Quad Chair ($34.99, Target), which lists a weight limit of 325 pounds and features a cooler built into the armrest (brilliant!). You could also try settling into the Coleman Lumbar Chair ($21.88, Wal-Mart), which offers extra lumbar support and a weight limit of 350 pounds, or REI’s Comfort Recliner Chair ($59.50), with a 325-pound capacity and a seat back angle that invites you to prop your feet up and get comfy. The highest weight rating we found during a search of major retailers was the Coleman Max Sling Chair ($26.88, Wal-Mart), which accommodates 400 pounds. Unfortunately, the downside to in-person shopping is that selection may be limited; individual store locations may not carry these heavy-duty models, or may have just a small quantity or selection in stock.

If you can’t try it yourself, read specs & reviews carefully.

If you’re willing to gamble a bit with ordering online, the seating possibilities are almost endless — just be sure to research carefully and read any available customer reviews. Remember that it’s not just the weight capacity of a chair you need to assess, but its seat width and how the armrest support bars are positioned, as well. And to reduce the likelihood of chair legs sinking into soft ground, opt for models with wider “feet” at the end of each chair leg.

Online sellers offering robust chairs range from well-known retailer Dick’s Sporting Goods to LivingXL (which offers plus-sized products in many categories) to niche sites like Koolest Products, notable for a wealth of “extreme” merchandise. We liked the unassuming nature of the powder blue, heavy-duty Quik Chair from Dick’s, which subtly and inexpensively ($24.99!) seats users weighing 500 pounds. LivingXL offers a similar model with a few color choices and a higher price tag ($49.99), as well as the largest portable chair on the market — a 1,000-pound capacity model with 30-inch-wide quilted seat ($99.95, or $139.95 for the canopied version).

For truly indulgent R&R, go for the bells and whistles.

With a capacity of 400 pounds, LivingXL’s Suntracker® Swivel Chair ($169.95) rotates a full 360 degrees and includes a built-in sun visor. And the aptly named MaXXDaddy Monster Folding Chair ($149.99, Koolest Products) boasts two cup holders, a magazine pouch, a detachable/adjustable footrest and a pillowed headrest that cushions your noggin, hammock-style. All this, and it accommodates 800 pounds in an extra-wide, 25-inch seat, to boot. A friend purchased this chair (in purple) a few years back, and lo, it was good! At one point, I believe he considered ditching his couch and replacing it with a fleet of these puppies. The only downside was the rather prominent MaXXDaddy logo. . .  and the stampede that ensued whenever my friend vacated his seat for a beer run. With comfort that legendary, though, you may not want to leave your new chair, either.

Tried one of the chairs we mentioned? Want to share your experiences with a different model? Tell us in comments.

Image by happywalks

A funny thing happened in Chicago this weekend: the sun came out. And it stayed out, as if it felt guilty about hiding for the past five months. Startled by the sudden reappearance of bare earth and the unfamiliar ball of flame in the sky, I reached for my sunglasses and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I headed out the door.

It wasn’t pretty.

I bought this pair of basic shades on clearance at Target after breaking two pair last summer. But in the harsh, pre-spring light of day, the over-sized black frames did nothing for my rounded face and Casper-kindred skin. I realized that while I spend plenty of time worrying about the way a pair of jeans sit on my hips or whether my girls are appropriately accented by a particular sweater, I sometimes forget about the simple ways I can best highlight where I really want people to focus: my face.

In that spirit, this week we consider the question:

What style(s) of glasses look best on round faces?

Like anything else we put on our bodies, some designs in the sea of existing eyeglass/sunglasses options are better suited to certain features. While the standard “your mileage may vary” caveat applies, it turns out that basic eyewear aesthetics aren’t as complicated as one might believe.

Rule #1: Think balance

When it comes to flattering round, full faces (those with approximately equal width and height), the experts at LensCrafters, Pearl Vision and FramesDirect.com all agree — go geometric. Angular, geometric styles help sharpen your features and create balance for a fuller face. These rectangular and horizontal styles elongate and thin the face’s appearance because they contrast its natural, angle-free shape. On the flip side, steer clear of round frames, which usually make full faces look wider (AKA: The “Why Ang Can’t Pull Off John Lennon Frames Even Though They’re Awesome” Rule).

The pros also suggest two more ideas: Consider glasses with temples that connect at the top of the frames to add length to your face. You might also try a pair of upswept frames, which can draw attention to the top of the face instead of the fullness. FramesDirect.com even counsels avoiding large frames because of their tendency to shorten the face’s appearance (sorry, giant sunglasses trend-hoppers).

Rule #2: Complement your features

Got some gorgeous baby blues? Look for your favorite frame shape in a blue hue that will emphasize your eyes without overpowering them. AllAboutVision.com advises that the best eyewear choices echo the wearer’s best feature. Understanding your personal color palette will also help you make an educated color choice. Cooler skin tones tend to favor cooler colors (including black), while warm skin tones glow in brown, gold, copper, red, etc. And fair complexions may find it more challenging to rock a pair of darker frames.

Your optometrist should be a terrific resource for helping match you with frames for corrective lenses that suit your appearance, style and budget. Shopping just for sunglasses or want to get a home preview of how different styles will look? Try uploading your photo into the simulators at either LensCrafters or FramesDirect.com and try your glasses on virtually.

And for those hearts and ovals out there (not every fat girl is round-faced, after all), don’t despair. Each site discussed here provides plenty of guidance for most face shapes — meaning your perfect frames are just waiting to be discovered.

Eyeglass divas in the readership: Tell us your favorite styles or share shopping tips for face-friendly frames.

This Image by Shavar Ross makes us wonder: Who was Oscar wearing?

Sunday’s 82^nd Annual Academy Awards broadcast drew attention for its many firsts. In addition to Kathryn Bigelow’s history-making win as the first female Best Director, Geoffrey Fletcher became the first African-American to be recognized with a screenwriting Oscar with his adaptation of Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire. Had Lee Daniels won the Best Director category for Precious, he would have been the first African-American to receive the honor.

Despite the focus on the (long overdue!) breakdown of these racial and gender barriers, many FGG readers may also have found themselves quietly (or not so quietly) cheering the bold, beautiful fat girls who represented so well at the Kodak Theater. The night began with Mo’Nique’s gritty poise during her Best Supporting Actress win. Viewers were then treated to Queen Latifah’s statuesque turn introducing the Governor’s Award ceremony clip, and – of course – the radiant sparkle of industry newcomer and Best Actress nominee Gabourey Sidibe, who seemed to be a magnet for telecast and paparazzi cameras alike. As I watched each of these captivating women rock their respective red carpet finery, it got me wondering:

“Which designers were lucky enough to dress Mo’Nique, Gabby and Queen? And – more importantly – has the time finally arrived for the fashion industry and media to give plus-sized beauty its due?”

Research on the first question was easy; news sites and blogs couldn’t wait to showcase photos of these ladies, as well as the stories behind their full-figured fashions. Although rumors had swirled around Sidibe’s gown options in the weeks preceding the ceremony, she eventually settled on a gorgeous blue Marquesa creation with short sleeves and diamond floral detail. (She also referred to her dress as a “money shot,” which made me gasp… and then giggle.) Having proven herself a savvy red carpet vet over the years, Queen Latifah opted for a one-shouldered dress in lavender satin by Badgley Mischka. Mo’Nique chose the periwinkle color of her Tadashi Shoji gown (and the gardenia in her hair) in tribute to Gone with the Wind star Hattie McDaniel, who wore a similar look in 1940 as the first African American actress to receive an Oscar.

As to the second question – Are high-profile designers and the media beginning to acknowledge that fat girls exist and shop outside of big box stores? – well, that’s a bit more complicated.

There has definitely been lip service paid of late to including representations of “nontraditional sizes” in fashion shows and magazine spreads. For the second consecutive year, designer Mark Fast featured plus-size models in his runway show at London’s 2010 Fashion Week. America’s Next Top Model has begun to cast contestants who don’t wear a size 2. Both V and Glamour recently touted issues showcasing models in extended sizes. Sidibe herself donned fashions ranging from off-the-rack at Torrid to designers like Monif C. (who helped us answer a recent “Ask FGG” question) during her awards season appearances. And another of Hollywood’s current darlings, Christina Hendricks of AMC’s series Mad Men, is as unapologetically voluptuous as she is talented. (Word is that her recent New York magazine cover sent the entire male population of Time Out New York’s offices into a buzzing frenzy that lasted days.) Yes, there are ripples of positive trends out there.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to overlook the “…but” to most of these encouraging stories. As a result of the decision to include size 12 and 14 models, both the casting director and a stylist quit the Mark Fast show backstage. Hendricks has gone on record as saying she gets frustrated by the consistent emphasis on her body, as if her curves somehow eclipse the need to acknowledge her work on one of television’s most critically acclaimed shows. And while fashion spreads and runway shows (and Tyra) may be slowly opening their doors to larger sizes, the fact remains that “plus-size” in fashion speak doesn’t correspond to the tags in the back of your IGIGI dress or my Venezia jeans. Because straight sizes don’t usually extend past a 6, anything above that can be considered “plus” – meaning you’ll often see a model wearing a size 8 or 10 being billed as “plus-size,” despite the inconsistency with real-world sizing.

Still, any opportunity for girls ages 7 to 75 to see diverse body types represented in the media as both beautiful and viable has to be considered a step forward. On Sunday night, 41 million viewers saw that three of the women occupying these physiques are intelligent and talented, funny and dynamic – just like those of us who spent the Academy Awards in our pajamas instead of couture. So, reader, whether you’re an actress or an architect, your challenge this week is to hold your head high and tackle your calling with confidence. Give your next boardroom presentation with the poise of Mo’Nique, channel Gabby’s exuberance the next time you find yourself in a new setting, and let your laugh and smile come as freely as Queen Latifah’s whenever possible. After all, each of us represents in her own unique and stylish way.

OhLaLa by Midnighteskye

Two of my friends attended a burlesque-themed wedding last weekend, and I couldn’t wait to pore over their photos from the occasion. The images were striking — so many exuberant women and men dressed to express themselves and ready to celebrate, body issues be damned. Not the typical notion of a marriage ceremony, to be sure, but there was something honest and refreshing about seeing girls of all sizes looking carefree and vital in their corsets, garters or camisoles. This got me thinking:

Where can a girl shaped like me find something sultry to wear, even if there aren’t any burlesque-themed weddings in my immediate future?

Boy, do I have some sites for you (okay, us). The fashion statements made in those wedding photos reminded me that although we’re often encouraged to associate luscious lingerie with a seduction scene, there are plenty of reasons to keep a few daring pieces in your boudoir. If your social circle skews a little more traditional, don’t sweat it. You don’t need a bare-most-of-it nuptial occasion – or even a specific audience – to enjoy donning a bit of silk or lace. As Peony pointed out in her most recent Sex and the Single Fat Girl column, sometimes pulling out the garters or a slinky cami happens just for you. So whether sleeping in a luxurious chemise helps evoke sweet dreams or you’re looking to add a bit of secret-weapon “oomph” under your interview suit, try one of these venues to connect you with your sensual side.

(Disclaimer: Lingerie = body parts. Be sure to click the following links from a location that won’t get you fired.)

Hips and Curves

From baby dolls and cami/short sets to costumes and garter belts, this diva-licious supersite is a treasure trove of all things sultry. A girl could easily lose track of time time paging through the many options here, including three pages of widely varied bustiers and corsets. Bonus: The thorough sizing page includes a terrific explanation of how to select the right corset measurement.

Torrid

Known for its bold, colorful and often goth-inspired dresses, separates and accessories, Torrid also offers an array of similarly styled bustiers, teddies and chemises (like the black & white one I coveted upon sight). Sizes range from 00 (comparable to size 10 or Large) to 5 (size 30/32 or 5X), although not every size is available online.

Plus Size Plum

The brainchild of former plus-size model and writer for BBW Magazine Deborah Friedman, Plus Size Plum prides itself on offering a high-end customer service experience and hand-picked selections of intimate apparel. We found it notable for its mix of wild (an entire page of body stockings!) and mild (babydoll & peignor set).

Lane Bryant

Many of us have shopped the LB for denim, sweaters, tees and career wear, but their lingerie department is also worth a look. In addition to corsets, camis and negligees for every modesty level, you’ll also find specialty bras and the frilliest of panties.

Lingerie Diva

An impressively diverse plus-size section features everything from basics and bridal lingerie to vinyl and leather. Lingerie Diva also offers the largest array of full-figured garters and hosiery that we found, but read sizing info carefully — many styles are only available in a single “Queen” option.

Frederick’s of Hollywood

You wouldn’t know it from the models featured in the the company’s catalogs or web listings, but Frederick’s offers a decent selection of its lingerie, corsets, bras and panties in plus sizes. Some items fall decidedly more on the costume side, but there’s also a handful of very basic pieces like the renaissance corset or the satin cami & short set, both available in sizes up to 3X.

Tell us where you’ve found the pieces in your wardrobe that make you feel especially sexy, classy or adventurous. And don’t forget to send along your own burning questions to letters@fatgirlsguide.com for inclusion in an upcoming “Ask FGG” column.