The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Kohl’s plus-size swimsuit from Fatshionista

If you’re anything like me, you steer far clear of the traditionally frumpy fat-girl fare of most large department stores, but aren’t necessarily ready for the studded-leather or plunging-neckline, belly-hugging lines of progressive specialty retailers either. That leaves us middle-grounders with a big gap in our shopping repertoire, which, for me, has meant clinging tightly to the few stylish and comfortable pieces I do have in my closet but rarely having anything that was very much fun.

I had passed by dozens of big, boxy Kohl’s stores over the last few years, but they reminded me so much of Sears, JC Penney and other similar stores and so I never stopped until a friend gave me a gift card last year. Once I was in, this non-shopper spent almost two hours picking through the racks of plus-size clothing that hit my sweet spot between fun and funky, stylish and tasteful. Since then I do about 75% of my clothes shopping in Kohl’s women’s plus-size section. LOVE IT.

The store carries sizes up to a 3x / size 24, and I find most of their stuff to be a flattering fit. Their plus-size brands include Adidas, Bongo, Candies, Croft & Barrow, Daisy Fuentes, Danskin, Dockers, Sag Harbor, Sonoma and about a dozen more. If you don’t have a Kohl’s near you, you can still enjoy their plus size yummy goodness via online shopping at Kohls.com.

Readers, if you’ve got any experience with Kohl’s or other larger department stores that have surprised you, share it with us here!

I used to love wearing strappy summer dresses, with sorbet-colored skirts swaying just so as I walked. Once I’d gained enough weight to make thigh rub an issue, dresses gradually fell from my wardrobe, supplanted by Capri pants and Bermuda shorts. Add to it the belly I gained and never got around to losing after having three kids, and I sort of forgot how to wear dresses and had no idea what styles fit my new shape.

A year after co-founding FGG, I know better. I can still wear cute dresses, and thankfully, more styles seem to be available in plus sizes these days. A bit of research rendered thigh rub a moot issue, and I learned to look beyond my old standby dress styles and experiment with styles that could accommodate more fullness in the belly and chest areas without making me look pregnant (notes to self: no more Empire waists! A-lines are your friend!).

With this dress-friendly motivation in place, I was excited to discover A Summer of Dresses, an idea that’s as simple as it is clever: wear more dresses this summer, and post photos of yourself to the site. Anyone can participate (here’s how). That’s it. What’s not to love about this idea?

If you need inspiration, check out these plus-sized Etsy shops or these ideas for sundresses for busty girls (we’ll post our reader question on sundresses for less busty girls soon, too). I keep hearing great things about Old Navy’s plus-sized dresses, which are only available online, however. No excuses, girls! I’ll participate if you do; I already know which dress I’m going to wear.

Tell us, girls: do you wear summer dresses? Why–or why not? What’s your favorite style for your body type, or where do you find the best deals?

The mission: To blend in here (image by YoTut)

One of the best parts of receiving FGG reader mail is that it gives us a glimpse into how diverse your lives and interests are. In recent weeks, we’ve fielded questions on everything from cycling to sundresses to tennis clothes. And this week it’s all about Vegas, baby!

I have a bachelorette party coming up for my good friend, and it is going to be at Wet Republic at MGM Grand in Las Vegas. I have nothing but thinner friends who can walk around in bikinis and heels . . . . I’m a size 16 and I can’t seem to find a suit and a cover-up that makes me feel sexy like my friends look in their bikinis. Any tips on where to shop? I want to look stylish and be comfortable in a [swim]suit in a public place like that.

Before launching into shopping suggestions, let’s take a moment to acknowledge your decision to attend the bachelorette party with your friends, despite the concerns you’re having. Publicly wearing a swimsuit as an overweight woman can be enough of a mental challenge even before factoring in the club vibe of Wet Republic. Your decision not to let your weight dictate whether you attend, but rather to seek a way to rock your own killer curves at the celebration is what FGG is all about. Good for you, girl!

Sexy full-figured swimwear

Now the fun part: shopping! If you haven’t already read through our recent Guide to Figure-Flattering Swimwear, it’s a great place to begin getting ideas for fun, trendy swimwear in plus sizes (including some sexy swim dress looks). We also recently answered another reader’s question about plus-size sarongs.

Both posts offer a mixed bag of finds, both practical and sexy. With your specific goal of blending into bikini-land in mind, what about a one-shoulder design from Monif C.? The single-shoulder look is hot this season, and the suit still provides plenty of coverage, as well as the option to show more or less leg, depending on your mood. (For more secure bust support, you can add the optional second shoulder strap.)

For a bikini-like feel with more stomach coverage, check out the plus-size offerings from Bikini Sunshine. Their two-piece suits are ordered as separates, so you can mix and match for the best size combination of top (cup sizes A/B through DDD) and bottom (sizes up to 18). We were drawn to both the black matte and purple babydoll tankini styles, in particular.

FGG editorial also admits to an ongoing love affair with the suits from Pinup Girl Clothing. Several of their styles come in plus sizes (up to size 20) and they’re bold, colorful and sexy in ways that celebrate the curves not all bikini bods can boast. Frankly, should you opt for the new vintage-inspired sheath suit (in red, black or gold), it wouldn’t shock us if your bikini-clad friends envied you.

Choosing a stylish cover-up to match

The cover-up you reach for will likely depend on the cut of your suit, but there’s just enough flounce and movement in this bandeau, waterfall-style design (sizes 1X-3X, Always For Me) to help you feel sexy without being over-exposed. If that’s not your style, the same site offers plenty of other options, including flirty skirts with tummy control (1X-3X) to babydoll dresses in multiple colors (2X-3X). Or, you could go for sexy and simple by pairing a georgette sarong (1X-2X, Swimsuits Just For Us) with the Rio De Janeiro Twist Bandeau suit from Always For Me. Available in four colors and sizes ranging from 16W-26W, this gorgeous, curve-hugging suit is just begging for a trip to Vegas.

Whatever look you choose, be sure to read Peony’s thoughts on swimsuit socializing before hitting the pool, and remember that confidence is the sexiest accessory of all. Have fun and keep us posted!

Ladies: What fat-girl phobias have you conquered so far this summer? Tell us about the activity or social gathering you braved — or suggest another great pool-party fashion for this reader.

Padded bike shorts protect you where it counts. (Image by L. Marie)

Summer is prime cycling time, so it seems only fitting that FGG’s very own Tee posed this week’s question in the comments of a recent Guide:

I’ve got an Ask FGG question of my own. Are there any padded plus-size bike shorts? I’m taking a spinning class that hurts my rear end, and I can’t seem to find those.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? Despite the padding many of us carry in that area, it often still hurts like crazy to sit on a bike and pedal. I’ll be honest — when I saw this question, I fully expected the answer to be “nope!” But it turns out my inner skeptic was only half right; padded shorts do exist in extended sizes (thanks, athletic apparel manufacturers!), but you shouldn’t expect to find the pads in the buttocks of your shorts.

The primary functions of chamois padding in bike shorts are 1) to wick moisture away from the body and 2) to provide a buffer between seams and stitching and your skin, thereby protecting delicate body parts and minimizing chafing. For this reason, the placement of the pad runs from the crotch area back through the tailbone — in short, the shape of the pad mirrors that of an extended bike seat.

Designed for women by women, the Shebeest Triple S Shorts ($80) are available in plus sizes 1X-3X. In addition to offering extended sizes, Shebeest equips these shorts with SheLastic^TM Chamois Plus pads, which are customized to accommodate the size and pressure of a bigger biker. The company’s Pedal Pusher Tights are also offered in the same sizes, with the same padding.

For a less expensive ($44.95), more colorful ride, Aero Tech Designs offers women’s Pro Bike Shorts in sizes 3X (22/24) and 4X (26/28) and in five different colors. Aero Tech’s sizable catalog of plus-size cycling gear includes triathlon shorts, a wrap-around skirt and jerseys. But for our money, the  maximum padding comes in the form of Aero Tech’s thick-padded Century Short, designed with extra “butt pillow” (sold!) cushioning for long-distance bike rides.

Whether you’re planning a leisurely ride along the bike path or on sweating through a spinning class, be sure to follow the accompanying care instructions on your new pair of padded shorts to ensure maximum garment life and moisture-wicking properties. And check out our Guide to Cycling for tips on finding a comfy seat and ride. Happy riding!

Any cyclists or spinners in the readership? How do you stay comfortable in the saddle during long rides?

image by sopues

We love hearing from our FGG readers. You girls help keep us tuned in to the questions and issues that are real and relevant in your diverse lives right now. This week’s reader question is a great example:

“Hello! I love to go snorkeling, jet skiing, etc., but find my time in the sun causes more than the occasional sunburn. I’d like to get one of those rash guard shirts that offer sun protection, but can’t seem to find one to fit me. I wear a size 20-22 top and I know they’re supposed to be slim fitting, but I end up looking like an over-stuffed sausage! Have you guys had any experience finding any in plus sizes?”

Worn during all types of watersports from surfing to kayaking, or just while swimming, rash guard athletic shirts (so named because they protect the skin while sliding on and off a surfboard) are made of spandex and nylon or polyester. In addition to providing protection from UV rays (shirts are given UPF ratings, similar to the SPF ratings seen on sunscreens), these shirts can be worn snugly over a swimsuit or layered under a wetsuit to minimize skin chafing.

The ideal fit is close against the body without making anyone resemble breakfast meats. Choosing a plus-size rash guard with the correct fit is important because UPF drops as a shirt stretches and the material thins out over your skin. The largest selection of extended sizes comes from Solartex Sun Gear, which offers women’s rash guard shirts in sizes as large as 5XL, which fits 52″-54″ chests. In addition to short-sleeve and long-sleeve shirts, Solartex also sells plus-size, unisex rash guard shorts, tights and loose-fitting swim shirts (up to size 6X), as well as a ladies’ rash guard swimsuit.

For a less pricey alternative (approximately $20 cheaper than the Solartex shirts), consider a short- or long-sleeved Lands’ End AquaTerra™ rash guard if you can comfortably wear sizes 1X-3X (16W/18W – 24W/26W). We like Junonia’s sporty, color-blocked rash guard with a zip-front style, but as of this writing every single size and color combination is on backorder.

Finally, the least expensive rash guard we found was from SunGrubbies.com: The short-sleeve version costs just $29.95 and is available in sizes up to 4X, which claims to provide “skin-tight” fit on women weighing 230-250 pounds, or a looser, “t-shirt fit” that’s comparable to a ladies’ 2X. Our only issue? A 5’2 woman weighing 250 pounds is likely to carry her weight much differently than a 5’11 woman of the same weight. Using weight as a sizing guideline sometimes makes things more confusing when the intent is to be clear.

Rash guards and swim shirts are gaining popularity, especially for their sun protection properties. Are you a fan? Tell us which brand and fit you prefer, and share your experiences about sizing in the comments.

The challenge: fitting a bra under this adorable dress (image via SWAKdesigns.com)

Hi, FGG! I love the comfort and ease of sundresses, but they always leave me feeling over-exposed in the bust. Do bra-friendly sundresses exist? I can’t spend the summer in sleeves!

Lightweight, airy and relatively inexpensive, sundresses are pure summertime comfort and can provide welcome relief from the heat. Equally appealing is the garment’s versatility, which makes it a great choice for a anything from running errands with the kids to meeting friends for brunch or drinks. But what happens when a full-figured woman has too much up top to feel comfortable with strappy, sometimes minimal coverage across her bust? Fortunately, no one needs to sweat all summer in sleeves if she doesn’t want to! Check out some of the styles we located and see if you don’t feel cool breezes hitting you already.

Wide-strap sundresses

Being a busty girl myself, I often find myself spending a summertime morning commute coveting the spaghetti-strap dresses worn by those around me. Unfortunately, wispy little dress ties don’t mesh well with the substantial, inch-wide bra straps required to secure my boobs — and those of many a well-endowed reader. While it’s sometimes a little trickier to find cute sundresses that incorporate wider straps without looking frumpy, the volume of plus-size offerings this season is impressive. From wrap-style tops to simple V-necks to straight-across necklines with tank straps, most retailers like Avenue, Ashley Stewart, JCPenney and Old Navy (plus sizes online only) include a handful of thicker-strapped options in their summer lines.

Finding the right bustline coverage

Wide straps don’t always provide a flattering fit on their own. Unless you’re planning to do some bra shopping, make sure you pick dresses that will fit your chest in a flattering way and mesh well with the bra silhouettes you prefer to wear. For example, if you have a drawer stuffed with full-coverage bras with teardrop-shaped cups, a boxy dress neckline probably won’t be a good fit. Instead, try a dress style with higher, fuller coverage on top (or pair the straight-across neckline with a balconette bra). Dresses with deep V-necks may require a plunge bra. And don’t forget to check the view from the back to make sure you’re covered, and choose a bra color that works with your dress whenever possible (i.e. don’t wear a red bra under a green dress unless you want it to be seen. Trust me.)

Beyond bra style, consider the shape and characteristics of your chest; a large bust does not always equal bodice-filling cleavage, something I can sadly verify from experience. Despite year after year of disappointing fitting room adventures, I refuse to learn my lesson and remain hopelessly obsessed with deeply V-necked wrap styles. Where scores of other women with my measurements would look like knockouts in the same dress, plunging vees like these only emphasize the separation between my boobs (not to mention their stubborn adherence to this thing called “gravity”). All in all, not the best look for me; I’ve learned that a scooped neckline like this one creates more natural-looking cleavage. But if you’re built like me and crave the vee, take heart–we just need an equally cute dress with a neckline that lands a little higher on our chest–Done.

Finally, if you’re still dying to wear a spaghetti-strap, halter or tube-style dress (Torrid has several, as does Old Navy), maybe now is the right time to experiment with strapless or convertible bras. Check out last week’s “Ask FGG” for suggestions on how to lose (or rearrange) the bra straps without compromising on support. Or if you simply must wear your favorite bra or feel too exposed in traditional sundresses, this recent Ask FGG on adding sleeves to summer dresses might help. Honestly, it’s a good thing I’m broke and cut off from shopping, or I’d be digging out the old, ill-fitting strapless bra to wear under this Lane Bryant tie-front dress. Will someone please order this dress in Andorra brown and give it a good home and the diva curves it deserves? Thanks in advance, readers!

Learn more about dressing to flatter a larger chest, or share your favorite sundress finds in the comments.

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Sacrifice for Beauty by JamieBates

Confidence comes from all different sources. Some girls draw strength from a personal mantra, a morning pep talk in the mirror, or a favorite song. Others feel their best when they know they’ve had a great cut and color, or when they’ve slipped on a favorite pair of shoes and a great lipstick color. And some of us find our confidence surging when our curves are shapely and smooth, letting our clothes drape perfectly.

In other words, some of us would like our fat to stay put when we move, so we’re free to focus on other things — like following all the steps in salsa dancing class or debating which World Cup team has the nicest-looking. . . uniforms. For our full-figured readers looking to keep the jiggle in check, this Guide’s for you.

Less body movement underneath your clothes

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the fact is that Spanx offers possibly the largest selection of body-shaping apparel out there. From shorts and panties in styles that cover varying portions of thigh and tummy to full-body slimming suits and a line of powerful compression gear, Spanx does a good job of offering something for almost everyone. And while nothing can sugarcoat the fact that Spanx = shapewear, plain and simple, there are things to love about them: The fat-girl-friendly sizing extends to 3X (equivalent of 26W-28W) on many of its clothing pieces and its hosiery is sized to accommodate heights of 6’0 and weights as high as 325. Plus, we love that locating plus-size products on the site is one-click easy.

Despite Spanx’s saturation in the shapewear marketplace, there are a ton of other options for all-over body compression or targeted support. Girls looking to minimize belly bounce might consider a waist cincher like this Rago Waist Nipper (available at HerRoom.com in sizes up to 8X), or a high-waisted, plus-size panty (available in sizes 1X-3X from SeamlessBody.com). All-over torso control can be found via a full-length bodysuit (you’ll want to shop around for the right fit in the torso, chest and butt) or by layering over a shaping camisole or tank.

If you’re a DD-cup or under, consider giving the Unbelievabra a whirl — and then report back immediately! Users (and Oprah) have raved about the all-over smoothing effect of this one-piece, band-less bra/shaping garment. The only downsides seem to be the unorthodox sizing procedure (though the site includes helpful videos), and the fact that larger girls in our readership might fall outside the size ranges offered.

Slimmer silhouettes in “problem” areas

While there are seemingly endless shapewear options for the belly, butt, hips and thighs, it’s a little trickier to find solutions that give a firmer appearance to upper arms or a smoother look to the sides and back. Because “back fat” and side rolls are often pinched and emphasized by regular bras, some women may feel more sleek in a bra that covers more of these areas, even if they aren’t into full-torso shapewear. Several lines now offer “smoothing” bras that claim to eliminate visible bra lines while smoothing back fat: Slimpressions’ Comfy Bralette comes in sizes up to 4X, the Lycra®-enhanced Back Smoothing Bra (of Lane Bryant’s Cacique collection) is available in sizes 36C-46DDD, and Woman Within offers a Comfort Choice® model that comes in a whopping size range of 36B-54G.

When it comes to arm jiggle, the options are usually embrace it (let your bat wings fly), hide it (under baggy sleeves or by avoiding sleeveless tops even in the hottest weather), or work like mad to tone it. Personally, I bought into the shame of waggly upper arms for many years — something I’m sure my mother’s well-intentioned “let’s cover those up” admonitions only reinforced. At some point, it clicked with me that sleeves can be cumbersome and too hot in the dead of a muggy Chicago summer, and that I was tired of confining my shopping choices even further than by size; waggly, oddly creased or not, my arms were going to see the light of day (and night)!

My route isn’t for everyone. I know plenty of girls who don’t feel comfortable even with many short-sleeved shirts because of where the sleeves hits their arms. If you’re not down with the “eh, whatever” approach and are looking for ways to tighten the appearance of those upper arms, try wearing a sleeve that extends well past the areas where you feel the least confidence — and see what you think about a tighter sleeve than you might ordinarily choose, and in a material a little thicker (i.e. nothing floaty or wispy). Before you panic, remember: a little tighter, not circulation threatening. You may be surprised to see the thicker material and closer fit working together to reign in errant ripples or jiggling. If you want more arm control and are willing to dress to accommodate, shapewear for arms (said to “reduce arm circumference by 1″-3″) does exist, in both short- and long-sleeve formats.

Physical activity: shake it without shaking everything

Whether you’re working it on the dance floor or breaking a sweat on the gym’s elliptical machine, the first rule of “less jiggle” when you’re on the move is a good sports bra. Our fitness experts and readers have all raved about the support and comfort provided by Enell bras, but readers have also championed the bounce prevention provided by the Maia bra from Moving Comfort and The Last Resort Bra from Title Nine. Glamorise® also offers a wireless, moisture-wicking sports bra that is designed to eliminate strap bounce and ride-up in back.

For the bottom half of your workout gear, consider skipping the loose-fitting shorts/capris and instead choosing more form-fitting bottoms like plus-size bike shorts. They help reduce the jiggle factor as you move, and you can always layer them under your favorite sweats (or buy pre-layered garments) if the idea of spandex makes you twitchy.

Finally, for a night out, and possibly some dancing, why not add some “WOW!” to your look while also keeping your midriff area from shaking every time you do? A dramatic, high-voltage corset (with either steel boning or plastic) will not only play to your sexy strengths from beneath an over-shirt or on its own, it will also help create a more defined waist and ensure that your midsection stays put while you move. For more examples of fun, sexy corsets, check out our recent Fat Girl’s Guide to Lingerie.

As with any apparel you purchase, be sure to check sizing carefully, as it almost always varies by retailer. And don’t hesitate to mix and match  different shapewear options until you find the combination of freedom and form that works for you. Because whether you choose to rein in the flesh or let it move au natural, the most important thing to remember about your skin is that you need to feel comfortable in it.

Have any feedback on these suggestions or other tips we couldn’t squeeze in here? Or experiences with shaping techniques you’d like to share? We’re all ears for your thoughts and theories on body jiggle — to tame or not to tame.

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