The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Sometimes, a traditional bra silhouette simply won’t do (Satin and Velvet by ktpupp)

It’s simple math, really. Warm temperatures + sleeveless tops and dresses + wedding season + an ongoing need for chest support = this timely question, which FGG editorial spotted in the wild on FatChic:

OK, we all can tell right away that this top needs a proper bra. While I’m certainly using my own resources to find one, if you know of a great strapless bra for a 46/48C, by all means let me know. I’d really like to own one that doesn’t require copious use of Hollywood tape.

Because every woman’s body carries a different combination of chest circumference, cup size and breast characteristics (shape, separation, and, er. . . deference to gravity), it would be impossible for FGG to identify The One Perfect Strapless Bra, Amen, and call it a day. What we have done to tackle this issue, however, is round up a variety of retailers that offer strapless bras with larger band sizes or larger cup sizes — as well as offer some reminders about how to choose a bra that fits.

Strapless bra fitting basics

For starters, the ideal game plan is to shop for your strapless or convertible bra in person, rather than ordering online. If possible, select a store that offers professional bra fittings. It’s important to not only try on the bra to ensure it fits without being visible under the dress or top you plan to wear, but also to make sure it stays invisible and provides complete support as you twist, turn, bend, reach, dance, and go through other event-appropriate motions. The band should fit snugly so it doesn’t slide or slip down while you wear it; any gaps between the material and your body mean you should be re-sized. Additionally, for women with large busts, molded cups and an underwire are going to provide the best possible support.

If you have the time and financial resources available to order several bra styles and sizes in search of The One, then your selection opens up considerably. Many online retailers offer sizes, styles and colors that might be more difficult to track down at in-person retailers. Additionally, sites like Big Girls’ Bras, BraExperience.com, and Linda The Bra Lady aggregate dozens of fat-girl-friendly brands into a searchable (by size, brand, style, color, etc.) hub for easy comparison and ordering.

Locating a strapless/convertible bra in your size

While strapless bras are definitely daunting to the more endowed among us, bra shopping can be just as challenging for women whose stature combines a larger chest circumference (42, 44, 46. . .) with a modest B- or C-cup size. For these ladies, finding bras that fit is often tricky for the same reason some dresses or low-cut tops are unwearable — designs for full-figured women frequently assume that plus-size = large breasts. And while that’s more than true for some of us, I have several friends who exemplify the pear or apple shapes and who don’t need their 46″ band size to come with a double-D cup.

The good news for plus-size girls of chests large and small is that options do exist, if you know where to find them. In addition to the sites listed above, possible online hunting grounds include Hips & Curves (which offers a four-way convertible style that extends to sizes 50B and 48DDD) and Bare Necessities® (this Goddess bra comes in sizes up to 46H or 48B-DDD). The usual plus-size fashion suspects carry some promising options as well, although in a less extensive size range: Torrid’s strapless options stop at sizes 44D-DDD, neither Lane Bryant’s regular strapless nor its plunge style bras extend beyond 44DD, and Avenue offers just one convertible bra, in sizes topping out at 44B-D or 46DD. (Avenue’s sister store, Jessica London, does offer a Glamorise style available in sizes that include 46C and 46F.)

In 34 years, I’ve owned one convertible bra (via Lane Bryant), which I wore with clear straps multiple times and as a strapless garment only once — under a spaghetti-strapped bridesmaid’s dress. To be honest, it was the completely wrong size for me at the time of the wedding, but I wore it extra tight on my ribcage because I was terrified my girls might come tumbling onto my dinner plate. Fortunately, everything remained contained for the duration of the festivities (even during a particularly spirited play-acting of “Paradise By the Dashboard Lights”). But if I had it to do over again, I’d love to try out this model from Elila, which claims to “hold even the heaviest busts while shaping beautifully.” Sounds like my DDD-cup of tea.

That’s your cue, readers: Share the secret of your magical strapless bra, including why it’s the best fit for your shape. Or tell us about the shenanigans that ensued the time you bought the bra that didn’t fit.

The most gifted green thumb I know (Photo by Holly Mason)

All the green-thumbed ladies! (All the green-thumbed ladies. . .) Now put your trowels up!

Apologies, readers, as I’m working through a bit of a Beyoncé earworm today. But it’s the perfect time of year to crank up a favorite tune on your iPod and get outside to soak up the blue sky, sunshine and smell of the grass growing right under your feet. For girls with the aforementioned green thumbs (regretfully, I cannot count myself among you, since I can kill even a fake plant in two days or less), the season is also ripe for planting, weeding and all manner of earthy things that make me glad I live in a big-city apartment.

Overweight women sometimes struggle with activities like gardening because of joint problems, discomfort sitting or kneeling on the ground, or challenges lowering themselves down to dirt level and standing back up again without good leverage. And yet, many women appreciate the therapeutic nature of gardening — not to mention being surrounded by colorful blooms and enjoying the fruits (and vegetables) of their  home-grown labors. As always, we at FGG cringe at the idea of putting off the things we love because of challenges in mobility or logistics — so consider today’s guide our love letter to each of you earth mamas who are ready get digging in the dirt, already!

Comfortable gardening apparel for plus sizes

While most women will agree that the garden isn’t the place for a fashion show, dressing for the elements is important. Footwear and gloves that protect from injury are a must — especially when handling chemical products (like enriched fertilizers) or thorny/prickly plants, or when working in soil that may contain sharp objects or recycled glass mulch. Before you reach for your Crocs, remember that although they’re ridiculously comfortable, water-friendly and accommodating for wider feet, they’re made from lightweight material that can be easily punctured by sharp objects. And depending on where you’re working, turning all of that soil can unearth errant nails, broken glass, sharp sticks, etc. Consider a tougher, more resilient shoe like a thick-soled clog or some waterproof galoshes — and don’t be afraid to get colorful. The Original Muck Boot Company offers durable, flexible and weatherproof clogs, boots and shoes in women’s sizes 4-13 (we liked the pink houndstooth and plum vine designs). Wide openings for tucking in pants can also be godsends for plus-size women with wide calves. The spring green cheerfulness of this pair from Sloggers (up to size 10) was almost enough to make me want to grab a Garden Weasel. Other fun finds include the Ladybug Clogs from Ranger (available in sizes 5-11 and in basic colors or bright, outdoorsy designs).

When it comes to gardening gloves, women with larger hands have lots of options for digging in safety and style. If your hands or joints are sensitive, a pair of ergonomic gloves in sizes S-XL, while pricey ($37.99), may be worth the investment. For a more festive day in the yard, Mud Gloves® come in loads of bright, fun colors and sizes from XS-XL. Plus, the breathability and coated palm and fingers for gripping traction are paired with features like UV protection and aloe moisturizers. Ultimately, selecting the right type of gardening glove is more important than the pretty design, so make sure you take into consideration the work you’ll be doing. You’ll want a different glove for handling poisonous plants or chemicals (choose Neoprene) than you will for rough yard work like extreme pruning and moving brush (opt for leather).

Lighten the load with ergonomic gardening accessories

Safe, healthy yard work and gardening involve more than just happy hands and feet. It’s easy to tackle too much or stay in a position that’s hard on joints without realizing the damage done until the next day. Stocking your tool shed with the right ergonomic gardening accessories can make a big difference and keep you feeling your best.

Rather than kneeling directly on the ground, protect your knees with a kneeling pad. Ergonomic kneeling pads can be as simple as a waterproof foam wedge you can purchase at most lawn and garden centers, or they can be more elaborate — and even include reinforced knee areas and a back support option. Some women may feel more comfortable using a kneeling bench or choosing to sit on a rocker seat — this one supports weights up to 350 lbs. Just be sure you try any product first to ensure you feel safe and stable on it.

If you’re moving soil, mulch, supplies or debris around the yard, look for a cart or wheelbarrow that’s easy to maneuver. My friend Holly, the gardening fiend pictured above (and who I swear is a plant whisperer — seriously!), raves about her green Duraworx garden cart from Lowe’s. If pushing is more your thing than pulling a cart, choose one that does most of the heavy lifting for you, sparing your back, arms and legs the stress. Sears offers the Triad™ heavy-duty wheelbarrow, which is said to combine the ease of a cart with the capacity of a ‘barrow. And you can feel good about your garden and yourself by picking a pink ‘barrow with a looped handle (better for pulling/pushing) that helps fund breast cancer research.

Easier up and down to ground level

The fact that most gardening activities take place at ground level can complicate matters for larger women who may have difficulty hunkering down to the ground or standing back up again without holding onto something sturdy for leverage. While every person needs to find the approach that’s right for her, some ideas for overcoming this challenge include wide-base canes or robust, portable step stools that you can grip with both hands and push down on while raising yourself off the ground. Placing a more substantial stool near your garden area may provide the same access to leverage. (Readers: This is a great time to share your own tips for improvising leverage to stand — be sure to hit the comments section at the end of this post!)

If the up-and-down of sitting & standing isn’t a possibility, or if your knees or other joints can’t accommodate extended amounts of kneeling, crouching, bending or sitting low to the ground, another great way to maintain your gardening hobby or passion is through elevated gardening. Constructing raised garden beds elevates the ground level of your soil and plants to make it more accessible from a seated position. Similarly, stand-up gardens (sometimes called tabletop gardens) can be accessed from a standing or sometimes a seated position, making them much more ergonomically friendly. And don’t discount all the creative possibilities that window boxes, planters and hanging gardens provide — you can even grow strawberries and tomatoes from a teeny section of outdoor space!

No matter what your mobility or comfort level, the Web is crawling with additional resources for making gardening more accessible (including dozens of message boards, construction plans, DIY kits and awesome sites like The Able Gardener. Mix and match tips and techniques until you find the garden design and accessories that are right for you. We look forward to hearing from all of our green thumbs out there as your summer gardens progress. . . Now put your trowels UP!

Green-thumbed girls: Share your best fat-girl gardening find, a tip about making yourself comfy on the ground, or a challenge you’ve faced in the yard. And don’t forget to upload your photos to the FGG Flickr Group or leave us a message and a photo on our Facebook page! Fame and glory (since I’m not in charge of prizes) to those whose tomatoes can make Toni’s mouth water.

Skip the frills — give us inexpensive tennis apparel that fits
(image by Hannahblu59)

Hi, do you have any advice on plus-size tennis apparel?  I’ve looked at Junonia but their selection is very limited — and expensive!

It’s true that while Junonia offers a good selection of active apparel designed for plus-sized women — including a collection of QuikWik® tennis gear — their pieces don’t come cheap. My thoughts on Junonia are twofold: First, some of the pricing reflects the old “fat-girl clothes cost more” method that keeps us muttering under our breath every time we whip out our Visa. Second, I have to give it to Junonia: their clothes are well-made and long-lasting. I’m not a tennis player (unless you count Wii Sports, and even then . . . I’m not a tennis player), but all of the active wear I’ve purchased and worn from the company held up long enough for me to wear it to death. While overpricing plus-sized clothes still makes me angry, my experience with Junonia apparel tends to follow the “you get what you pay for” adage.

Turns out, the high cost/few options tennis clothing dilemma doesn’t just exist at Junonia. Plus-size pickings are slim when it comes to tennis shirts, skirts, dresses and shorties, and locating low-cost, plus-size tennis clothes is even more challenging. We found a decent selection of items in extended sizes (up to 3X/24W) at Tennis Hut, and we like the wide array of color choices they provide for most items. Overall, most of their prices came in 25-40% less than comparable Junonia pieces (their shorts and panty collection, in particular, was slightly larger and more reasonably priced). That said, we’re talking about skirts and tanks priced at $42 and $44 (on sale), respectively, as compared to their $59.95 counterparts. Tennis isn’t a cheap sport, but at least these prices are a bit lower.

Lower still: the prices at Ad In Tennis Apparel. We love that this online retailer not only offers active wear (including tennis tops and bottoms) in sizes up to 3X/24W, but they also offer free customization of inseam lengths, sleeve types and fabric choices. What a boon for us girls with longer- or shorter-than-average limbs! Be sure to measure carefully and double check your work before purchasing — custom orders are non-refundable.

Try to shop for sales; many online retailers (like MyTennisStore.com and Junonia’s own clearance section) will offer markdowns as seasons change or when only a few sizes remain in a particular style. Keep your eyes peeled and you might score deals like $51 skirts on sale for $29.99 (size 2X only). And whatever source you choose, make sure you’re still getting the proper fit and moisture protection you need to feel and perform at your best on the court.

Tennis-savvy readers: Help your fellow girls out and tell us which brands and retailers serve LOVE. (Sorry — couldn’t resist!)

Sleeves or No Sleeves? That is the question.
(image and dress courtesy of Stefanie Bezaire)

We love reader mail. Hearing what works – and what doesn’t – here at FGG inspires us to provide the most useful and (hopefully) engaging content possible. Here’s a recent reader email requesting a summer fashion fix for girls who are self-conscious about their upper arms:

I have a question and am wondering if you or any of your other readers might have some answers. I have recently discovered my love for dresses! Unfortunately, so many of the cutest styles are sleeveless, and i hate my upper arms! I’m wondering if there’s an easy way to add or lengthen sleeves, even/especially if the dress is made with a print fabric. Thanks again for such a great blog. I’ve found such great advice and tips and just feel happy every time there’s a new post.

Boy, can we relate to this issue! Of course, the first thing we’ll say is to encourage you to embrace your arms, flaws and all. It might be that you haven’t found the right dress with the right cap sleeve, wide strap, or cute neckline that places the focus on your whole cute package instead of one perceived flaw. But when it comes to more practical, DIY solutions to this issue, we turned to an expert to tackle this question: Stefanie Bezaire, a Toronto designer specializing in fashion for sizes 12 and up.

I totally understand where you are coming from–I hate my upper arms too! But over the years, I have found a few things that work for me.

The easiest, non- sew solutions would be:

1. Getting a super cute stretch body suit or body-hugging stretch tee with 3/4 length or short sleeves, preferably in something current and edgy. (FGG: we found several plus-size bodysuits here). Lace is so in right now and would look great under solid colors and/or prints. With a print dress you can get a bit creative and do an ’80s vibe with a denim vest and colored leggings too. The key with prints is to stick to plain colored lace–black, white or grey only. Otherwise the prints and the lace will compete and there will stares (sadly for the wrong reasons).

2. Get a lightweight shrug, cardigan, or even a button front shirt (roll up the sleeves and tie it at the waist and you’re done!). For summer dresses, look for something lightweight but not too fancy, like a jersey knit or lightweight faded denim also known as chambray (so popular right now and very accessible).

3. Draw the eyes away from the arms by adding some bold accessories. A great hair bow or headband, an elegant brooch, some fab earrings, a wide waist belt–all these things will distract from your trouble areas and highlight your assets.

4. Find a professional to help you out. When you really want to make a dress work and you have the money to pay for something custom, go for it! There are many designers who will be open to helping you find the right solution for your garment. They will most likely make sure the dress fits properly too by adjusting the hem or bust line, etc.

For the more advanced fashionista, I have some sewing solutions.

1. The simplest sewing fix would be to buy a wide trim, gather it on one side and attach to the straps (you usually will need at least double the length of the armhole to create some nice fullness). Lace again would be good, or even an eyelet fabric. Keep the trim you use in line with the style of the dress and you can’t go wrong; for example, if the dress is a simple cotton don’t go adding metallic lace. Also, try to get something the same color as the dress. Don’t go crazy with contrasts as this will only draw the eye to the arms instead of away from it.

2. If you want a sleeker, more complex option, you can always buy a dress pattern with sleeves, cut out only the sleeve pieces from the pattern and carefully attach them to your dress. A general rule to determine the right size is to measure the armhole length on the dress and add 1″- 1.5″ for ease. Compare that measurement to the one on the pattern, and if they match up you are all set! You can always use a little ribbon trim to cover up trouble spots or add length where needed.

3. When adding sleeves just won’t work, and you can’t find anything at a store that you like or that fits, don’t forget that you can also make your own lace body suit, shrug or cardigan as suggested in the non-sew tips. This is definitely a longer process, but there are some great patterns out there that are easy, affordable, and will give you exactly what you are looking for.

If you are a beginner to sewing don’t fret! There are many YouTube videos and perhaps some sewing classes in your area that can help you get started. Finally, my best tip would be to have confidence and love what you are wearing. If you walk tall, everyone will be looking at that beautiful smile on your face and not even noticing your arms!

Stefanie, thanks for sharing all of these great ideas! Girls, do you have any solutions for our reader on adding sleeves to sundresses or other clever cover-up solutions? Tell us about them in the comments.

Sarongs spice up a curvy girl’s summer wardrobe (Image by Gummo)

Dear FGG: I love the look of sarongs as bathing suit cover-ups, but they never wrap all the way around my hips, and either one thigh or my whole front is left totally exposed. Am I stuck with “one size fits most” but not me?

I share your pain. “One Size” anything — especially items designed to wrap around the hips, where my body is its fullest — always leave me feeling like I’m trying on doll clothes or shopping in the junior’s section. The good news for full-figured girls with hips, thighs, butts and tummies is that we can absolutely get the comfort and breezy, flirty look of a sarong in sizes that actually fit. All it takes is a bit of savvy shopping.

The sarong (or pareo) is one of the most basic pieces of clothing you’ll encounter; ultimately, it’s just a long, rectangular piece of fabric — that’s it. The creative aspect of the garment comes in both how it’s worn (as a skirt, as a dress, as a cover-up) and how it’s tied. Full-length (to the feet) sarongs are usually about 44″ long, while knee-length skirts stop at about 22″.

As with any plus-sized garment, the key when you’re shopping for a larger sarong is to check the sizing carefully. For example, we found knee-length and ankle-length options at Swimsuits Just For Us, but the widths are 52″ and 56″, respectively, which the site lists as fitting sizes 1X-2X. If your hips are well within those measurements or you don’t mind your skirt being substantially open on the side where it ties (and thus not providing 100% coverage), these options are probably just fine. Other sarongs might be advertised as plus-size but don’t offer width measurements, which makes them risky for larger hips and thighs, as well. If you’re ordering online, make sure you understand and feel comfortable with the return policy when you order in case the garment doesn’t fit.

Because the sarong is so versatile and designed to work with extra fabric, a wider-than-necessary purchase isn’t a terrible thing, so err on the side of extra inches rather than something that’s too small. We like the look of the double-layer sarong pareo wrap skirt from Sabine Silks ($39.99 in sizes that fit up to 6X or 24/26) and the basic colors (and sale prices) of the georgette styles from Sassy Sarongs (66″ wide, from $29.99).

If you’re feeling more of the traditional Polynesian vibe and want something brighter and more floral, options abound at Feedora. Finally, don’t forget to check out our old friend Etsy, home to a number of the most reasonably priced finds in made-to-order dimensions. My favorite was this 70″ x 42″ hand-dyed batik print for only $30 (I’m a sucker for the color combo of chocolate brown and aqua), but you may prefer the same dimensions in orange or purple. — or possibly even this black & white silk ($58.00; 66″ x 26″).

Whichever sarong you choose, this fun and flexible garment that can be worn any way you feel most comfortable and attractive. Have fun experimenting with styling until you find the pattern and tie configuration that’s right for you.

Have a lead on a great source for sarongs that fit or the most fat-girl-flattering tie style ever? Share it with your fellow readers in comments.

A “date” dress by molmanik

Dear FGG: I have five weddings (3 indoor, 2 outdoor) and a christening to attend before Labor Day. Got any suggestions about finding fun & tasteful special-occasion dresses in plus sizes? Thanks!

Girl, are you ever in good company! Spring and summer are boon times for weddings, graduations, reunions and other dress-up occasions. This question hit home for me as I mailed my third 2010 wedding RSVP this morning — another still looms on the horizon — without having a clue what I’m wearing to the first schmancy occasion this Saturday.

For some of us, locating a dress we feel comfortable and confident in can be such a chore that we may default to either wearing the same outfit to every function or hastily grabbing the first option that fits. Fortunately, dress shopping for fat girls is no longer about settling, and there are scores of plus-sized possibilities out there for us to recommend, from fun and flirty to black-tie appropriate.

Beyond the LBD

Sure, every girl needs a fabulous little black dress in her closet, but graduations, daytime or outdoor weddings, and other gatherings with a less formal feel are prime opportunities to showcase your figure and personality in dresses that go beyond solid, dark colors. We found several affordable and cute dresses that fit the bill at Old Navy, of all places. Their surprisingly robust (yet online-only) plus-sized collection extends through size 4X (28/30) and includes both bold colors and sleeved, feminine looks.

Other more casual finds: Lane Bryant offers several dresses this season that play on the black-and-white, geometric trend. We also located a handful of flattering, sleeved options for arm-conscious girls. And my friend Katie fell so in love with the flirty styling and lilac color of this LucieLu creation, all she needs now is a wedding to crash.

Dress to impress

When the occasion calls for a more formal style, you can still look for pieces in cuts that flatter your curves. Online retailer Kiyonna (sizes up to 5x or 30/32) is on the pricey side, but the dresses are curve-hugging and often to-die-for. (Although seeing them modeled by the gorgeous Ashley Graham probably doesn’t hurt, either.) If you can sift through the rhinestones and Scarlett O’Hara-wear, alight.com has some classy options in a wide range of price points. We also adore several looks from SWAKDesigns. Available in sizes extending to 6X (32/34), these dresses have a knack for being sexy, yet gala-appropriate. And who wouldn’t feel like a bombshell arriving at her high school reunion in drop-dead red?

Whether you go casual or cocktail, remember to choose a dress that stays put and moves with you if you plan to hit a dance floor. Now share with us, readers: What is your favorite dress-up outfit? And where do you turn to find special-occasion style?

Raindrops refrained by davidezartz

Dear FGG: I’m a size 24 and I’m not having any luck finding a cute raincoat for spring at local stores. Got any ideas?

Rainy days can either make you feel dark and gloomy or playful and earthy – it’s all about your attitude. Fortunately, this question led us to a number of cute finds that had us ready to throw on rubber boots and go puddle stomping. Better yet, many are currently marked at sale prices. Win/win!

Depending how dressed-up you want to look, the classic trench coat is always a great option that can take you from spring to fall. While some of you girls might shy away from belted jackets, they’re actually flattering because they highlight your waist (yes, even if it’s thicker), which balances your silhouette and keeps you from looking boxy. The clean, crisp looks offered by TravelSmith (sizes up to 3X or 24/26) and Woman Within (sizes up to 34W) are perfect for wearing to work or on dressier occasions. Be sure to check the sizing chart before purchasing, because not all 3X measurements are created equal. According to the Macy’s sizing chart, for example, their 3X DKNY long rain coat only accommodates a size 22.

For a more casual style, try Junonia’s Cloudburst rain jacket with brim hood (sizes up to 6X) or the packable Anorak rain coat from TravelSmith. Items from the Weather Solutions® line  from Woman Within, are reasonably priced and available in plus sizes to 34W or higher. Opt for a basic Anorak style with drawstring waist and detachable hood, or add some pizazz with a shiny, patent look or an A-line swing and cheerful punch of color.

Finally, consider taking a bold, “new beginnings” approach to the season — stow your dark, heavy winter coat in the closet and step out in a pure white trench with black floral border from Avenue. Available in sizes up to 26 and priced under $60, this flattering coat (yes, big girls can wear white, too!) says “welcome, spring!” all over.

What styles have kept you warm and dry lately, ladies? Leave us a comment describing your rainy-day must-haves.