Reunions call for writing your own Cinderella story.
(Image by Molmanik)

Dear FGG,

I have two reunions coming up this summer: a family reunion, and my 15th high-school reunion. Most of the people that will be at both of those remember me as a cute, slim girl just out of high school/college. Now I’m pushing 300 lbs and am DREADING the shocked and embarrassed-for-me looks I’m sure I’ll get. I don’t want to cancel, I’m excited to see a lot of the friends and family I’ve been missing, but it’s making me sick. Any advice?

This is a tough one. We’ve all known someone who starved or took diuretics in order to squeeze herself into a dress for a high school reunion–behavior we at FGG would definitely place in the “Don’t” column. Or perhaps you helped a friend decide whether she really can go home again when facing an extended family gathering. There’s a reason for this sort of anxiety: fear of the unknown. What will people think of us? Will we be judged–or worse, will people gawk and laugh, or gloat? No matter how far these worries may be from reality, they feel real in our minds. But in my experience, our fears over how we’ll be perceived because of our size often don’t come to life. Here are some quick tips to help you push past that anxiety and attend these milestone events with your head held high:

* Grab a girlfriend or two and make a day of finding an event-appropriate outfit that looks and feels fantastic on you. Bring pals who will give an honest assessment on whether that cocktail dress really does make your ass look fat without making you feel deflated but will also whoop and holler when you’ve found The One in the dressing room. Even if you’re attending a casual family picnic three states away, find a cute summer dress or flattering tee and skort. Why? Clothing that fits and flatters not only makes you look great, but if you feel comfortable and confident, you’ll feel less worried.

* Make an appointment at a salon or spa and sign on for every beauty treatment that you’ve been putting off: hair, nails, wax–the works. Yes, you’re beautiful just the way you are, but being made-over makes us feel special, and the fresh look will give you a boost of self-confidence that can make a big difference when you greet everyone. Don’t go for anything too drastic (or at least untested) here; the key is to feel beautiful, not regret that brassy color that seemed like a good idea at the time or fret over too-short bangs.

* Decide whether to bring a date. My husband and I didn’t attend each other’s high school reunions; with all that “remember when” talk, we figured it would be merciful to each other to go solo. While not everyone feels that way, it’s up to you to decide whether having someone who’s 100% in your corner will help you feel more comfortable. Family reunions are a different story, dependent upon how (dys)functional your particular clan is likely to be and how well a date or spouse will fit into that mix.

* Don’t mention your weight. Period. Odds are nobody will comment on it, at least not to your face. And if they dish behind your back, you likely won’t hear it anyway, and what you don’t hear can’t hurt you. I attended my 20th high school reunion weighing 100 pounds more than the year I graduated. I’d just had my third son, my hair was another color and texture (what can I say? I fell prey to the unfortunate ’80s perm trend), and nobody recognized me until they read my name beside my yearbook photo. And you know what? I survived. It wasn’t easy, but people were every bit as excited to see me whether I looked like I did then or a supermodel, and not a single person remarked on my appearance.

* Don’t do the “fat girl who makes jokes about herself to deflect from her appearance” thing. Follow the “if you can’t say something nice about yourself” rule at all times. Why? I’m the queen of using humor in any situation, from uncomfortable to cozy, but here’s an important distinction: I make fun of my actions, not my essence. I believe we take away from ourselves if we tear ourselves down, even in jest. And most people are aware that self-deprecating fat jokes are usually used to mask some deep insecurities. It only makes you and everyone else more uncomfortable deep down.

* Prepare a response to any intrusive or rude remarks before attending. Some people don’t have an internal filter, some people are just blunt, or insensitive, or just plain rude. This is often the case with family, where people sometimes feel they can throw down the “You’d be so pretty if . . . ” chestnut unchallenged, all under the guise of being “helpful.” Of course, this is a case-by-case situation, but if you know (or are afraid) a high school bully hasn’t changed and is likely to say something hurtful or your Aunt Betty will be pushing you to join Weight Watchers, have a response planned. Keep it neutral, calm, and don’t leave it open to argument; this keeps you from feeding any potential drama. To send a subtle message, try ignoring the comment and changing the subject. If you’re feeling bold, try, “I’d rather focus on enjoying myself and the reunion than sit and pick apart how we’ve all gone downhill.” If you’re dealing with someone who’s not good with subtleties then a flat, “Thanks for your opinion, but I didn’t ask for it” ought to do the trick.

Everyone wants to look and feel their best when seeing friends or loved ones after several years or even decades have passed, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But underneath that surface anxiety about our appearance, what truly matters is the sense of connection we feel with the people in attendance–whether you had dozens of besties or a carefully chosen inner circle. Chances are you’d regret not going more than you’ll end up regretting going, and as we all know, life doesn’t hand out very many do-overs.

Girls, have you attended (or skipped) a reunion recently that kicked up feelings of anxiety about your weight? Tells us about it in the comments.Similar Posts:

• The Fat Girl’s Guide to Handling Weight-Related Remarks from Kids
• Ask FGG: “Help me find stylish special-occasion dresses!”
• The Fat Girl’s Guide to Flirting

On the approach to Reno’s 8,300-foot Peavine Peak

If we’re talking semantics, I’ve always been more of a trekker than a hiker. I love a long, flat or gently-rolling surface, and even at a size 24 I could walk and walk all day until the shoes disintegrated off my feet. I’ve planned whole trips around the proximity of long, lonely walking paths. For me, distance walking in the wild is a sacred, special thing.

But add any substantial elevation to that, and funny things would start happening. My monkey mind kicked in, throwing out a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t/couldn’t do it: I’m not strong enough. I’ll overheat. I’ll get out of breath too fast. I’ll be stuck up there and nobody will know where I am and the rescue crews won’t find my body until it’s been picked over by ravens and coyotes!

And so it was that in my 39 years I had never climbed a mountain. Then I met my husband. My husband the mountain climber. He was fit, he was adventurous, and he loved the idea of us exploring every canyon and scaling every mountain together. Which meant the whole time we were dating all I could think was, “Crap, crap, crap.”

Deep down, though, I really wanted to do those things together too, so I spent several years discouraged that climbing mountains would have to wait (at least that’s what I assumed back then) until I had shed about 100 pounds.

But a life-changing year last year gave me the guts and strength and attitude shift I needed to tackle it now, no matter how slow I’d go or how many modifications I had to make to get to the top. And I had the perfect beginner mountain in mind: Peavine Peak, an 8,300-foot mountain that towers over the Reno skyline. A simple, non-technical day climb, and while it was small conquest by mountain-climber standards, it was a symbolic achievement by mine.

Making it to the top of that mountain was difficult, challenging in ways I didn’t expect, and there were several moments that I had to wave away what the hell am I doing up here? thoughts. But I did it, and it felt so incredible that I regretted waiting all those years under false assumptions to do it. A few weeks later I took a group of friends – ranging from 130 to 280 pounds – out there with me to do it again.

Now I want to challenge each of you to give it a try yourself. Even if you never set foot on a mountain slope again, the sense of achievement in knowing you have climbed one from bottom to top and back again is something every woman should experience at least once in their lives.

Today’s guide will focus on a beginner mountain climb, which is to say an easily walked-up mountain by way of an established trail or service road that requires no technical gear or expertise (i.e., an intense hike that leads to a peak), then down the road we’ll add intermediate and advanced guides for the daring among you. If you’ve been hiking in challenging conditions before, you can skip right to today’s guide. If not, we recommend reviewing that post, as well as our other posts on hiking (hot-weather hiking part 1 and part 2, and cold-weather hiking) for a good primer, or a refresher if it’s been awhile.

Preparing for your first climb: training body and mind

Let’s be realistic: being overweight doesn’t mean we have to miss out on all the things that fit men and women can do, but for most of us it does mean we have to understand our bodies and be smart about its limitations, make some modifications where necessary, and go at our own pace. Most of us aren’t going to be able to hop up from a sedentary lifestyle and climb straight up even a walk-up mountain, so it’s important to gauge what shape you’re in and what you’ll need to work on to get primed for a beginner climb.

Remember: true physical fitness has less to do with the numbers on your scale and much more to do with your underlying muscle tone, flexibility, and cardiopulmonary health. We’ve all met the 250-pound powerhouse that never slows down, and the 150-pound couch potato that circles the parking lot for 30 minutes just to get the closest spot. So let your doc know what you’re thinking of doing and if he/she has any concerns they’ll say so, but otherwise forget about those nagging numbers on the scale and focus more on how you feel when you’re being active. If you’re easily winded while walking more than short distances, or the thought of climbing stairs sends you packing in the other direction, start by working on your endurance with those things first. So what if it takes six months to prepare to climb that mountain? It’ll be there when you’re ready.

Once you feel like you’re ready to step it up, here are some things you can do to prepare for the specific challenges of getting to the top of your mountain.

1. Take a short hike every weekend for a month or two, and go a little farther each time. Pick hikes that have varying terrain, and choose progressively harder hikes that keep you going uphill longer once you’ve mastered the easier trails.

2. Kick up the incline on your treadmill. Climbing isn’t about speed, so notch your speed down to 2.5, or lower if you need to, and kick your incline up to at least 4 or 5 percent if you’re not used to having one. Each time, increase your incline by 2 percent over the last time. Stay at your max incline for 10-15 minutes, then take it down about 2 percent every minute until you’re at zero again. Try to work up to being comfortable at a 10-15 percent incline before you go tackle your mountain.

3. Climb stairs every opportunity you get, even if you have to take it slow. If you’ve got stairs in your home or at school or work, every time you climb up, go down and climb up one more time before moving on. You’ll be surprised how fast you’ll start to feel changes after doing this for a week or two.

4. Get on a bicycle and practice on some low hills, progressing to steeper hills as your endurance improves. Biking might not seem like a natural prep activity for climbing, but it works both the quads and the heart: the two things you’ll rely on most during your climb.

5. Join a gym and make use of equipment like Jacob’s Ladder, stair climbers and striders. These machines all emulate “vertical feet,” and are great training for any activity with a sustained incline. A trainer can show you the what, where, how and for how long of a good pre-climbing training program.

6. Get your ankles in good, sturdy shape. Serial ankle twisters/sprainers will definitely want to work on gaining strength and stability before tackling a mountain ascent and descent. If you’ve had surgery or other medical treatment for your ankles or feet, check with your doc for recommendations. If your ankles feel weak and prone to rolling but have no other medical issues, you can do a few simple exercises to help strengthen them (including those that improve the neural connections between your brain and your ankle tissue, which has been shown to be a significant factor in some cases). Check out our guide to stronger ankles for more.

7. Choose your mountain wisely. For your first time out, keep the elevation gain to less than 3,000 feet spread out over no less than 5-6 miles each way. Less than that and the climb quickly becomes steep and laborious, and even slippery depending on the quality of the trail. You want challenging, you don’t want demoralizing! Search for other hiker’s/climber’s notes about the mountain before you go on sites like Summit Post or GORP. Make sure it’s a climb that someone going slowly can do (and get back) in about 6-8 hours, and start early. Descending a mountain is tough enough without doing it in the dark.

8. Mind the altitude. If you’ll be climbing a mountain on which the trailhead starts at an elevation more than 2,000 feet higher than you normally spend time at, do some shorter pre-climb hikes at that altitude before taking on the full monty. Get plenty of sleep in the days leading up to your climb, drink lots of water, and avoid alcohol and caffeine for at least 24 hours before starting out. Know the signs of altitude sickness, and if you think you or anyone in your party may be experiencing it, stop immediately and head back down.

9. Tell someone where you’re going and when you plan to be back. If possible, let them know the route you plan to take or at the very least where you plan to start out. The service may be spotty, but bring a cell phone if you can. If there are multiple people in your party at different fitness levels (and therefore likely to be going at different speeds), bring basic walkie-talkies with freshly-charged batteries.

Also be sure to keep a close eye on what the weather will be like on the day you’ve chosen. Too hot and you’ll slog along feeling oppressed and possibly dehydrated. Too cold (and not dressed for it) and you’ll waste all your energy shivering and be tempted to turn back, especially as you get closer to the top, where wind can pick up significantly and temperatures can drop as much as 20 degrees even on smaller peaks. DO NOT attempt a climb if there’s a chance of thunderstorms at any time that you plan to be on the mountain.

On the mountain: what to bring

Once you’ve picked and researched your mountain, whipped your ankles into shape and done some training for incline walking, you’re ready to pack for your trip! For a day trip on a walk-up mountain you’ll only need a few things, but each are critical.

1. Plenty of water. I can’t stress this enough. Running short of water will not only make your trip miserable in warmer weather, it can be life threatening if you push too long and hard without it. In average summer temperatures (between 75-85), bring a liter of water for each person for every 2-3 hours you plan to be out. More if it’s hotter and more dry, a little bit less is OK if it’s cool and moist. If you run out of water on your way up the mountain, turn back. It’s not worth the potential risk.

2. Solid hiking boots with good traction. You don’t want tennis shoes, sandals, or even trail runners here. Your boots should fit well and have good ankle support, sturdy construction and lots of knobby (“lug”) tread on the soles. Without good traction you risk slipping, and you’ll almost certainly find that in some places, every step forward is followed by a short slide back. That’s a waste of energy and time, and will wear you out long before you get to the top. Related: microfiber sport socks make a big difference in how your feet feel post-hike.

3. Snacks or a lunch. For most of us, snacks aren’t an absolutely necessity as long as you have enough water, but they sure can make the difference in how you feel and whether or not you have the energy to keep going (though if you’re diabetic, they’re a must). Trail mix, granola bars, peanut butter crackers, fruit…all great choices. Avoid extra sugary foods that bring a crash later on. A light, gourmet picnic lunch at the top will not only make you feel pretty good going down, it’s also fun to do… and a nice reward for your hard work.

4. Sunscreen. Like water, don’t go without enough of it. In most cases you’ll be exposed for a good part of the climb, and you’ll be at altitude, a sizzling combination. As is the case with most burns, you won’t likely notice you’re getting crispy until it’s too late. Avoid several painful days following the climb, bad memories, and, of course, a risk of skin cancer, by loading yourself up with sweat-proof sunscreen before you start out, and carrying it with you for re-application as necessary.

5. A camera and/or journal. Self-explanatory! Your journey will be impressive both visually and psychologically. Document both while they’re fresh. This is something you’ll remember forever, and will probably want to show everyone you know.

6. Layers of clothing. Even if your mountain is fairly small, you may experience temperature variations that make layers a good idea. In warm weather, a light, short-sleeved t-shirt and shorts is great to start in, but bring a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of light pants for the cooler (and sometimes downright cold) weather you can expect closer to the top.

7. A GPS, map or compass. Unless the trail is well-marked and easy to follow, bring a GPS, map or compass and know how to use it. Most smaller mountains will have fairly visible trails or even service roads, but if there’s more than one, or things get confusing, you’ll want to be able to find your way back on track easily.

8. A comfortable day pack. A small hiker’s backpack that fits your water, snacks, sunscreen, phone, GPS, layers, and camera/journal, but isn’t so big that it’s floppy with empty space beyond those things, is ideal. The better it sits on your hips the more weightless it will feel, and it’s worth springing for a pack that fastens around your waist and across your chest for extra support and stability. Don’t try to carry your stuff up by hand.

On the mountain: what to expect

Most mountains have an approach, a section or sections of flanks/ridges, and a peak. What to expect will depend to a large degree on the terrain of your particular mountain – you might have a sprawling mountain with a long, arduous approach and a short-and-sweet peak section, or you might have a conical mountain that throws you into the incline almost immediately and gets you up there fast – but some things will be true across the board.

1. It’s going to be hard. That’s OK, it’s supposed to be hard. There’s a myth out there that we’re not supposed to be sweaty and breathing heavy and feeling tired and sore, that we should avoid those things, that they’re not good for us. And so we panic or give up and turn back at the first inkling of any of them thinking we’ve saved ourselves, thinking we need to be in better shape to try something like this.

Not so.

Our bodies are meant to work hard for us. Breathing heavy, as long as we’re not out of breath entirely, is good for us. It increases our lung and heart capacity over time, and in the moment it supplies oxygen for our bloodstream and muscles to use to power us up farther. Sweating, as long as we’re not overheating or dehydrating, is good for us. It rids the bodies of impurities, acts as a cooling fan, and, for those counting, it means you’re burning some serious calories. And being tired and sore, as long as we don’t feel faint or weak or in pain, just means we’re working hard and building up our strength and stamina. So don’t be discouraged or afraid when you’re feeling like you’re working awfully hard. That’s the idea, and that’s what makes standing on that peak looking down at how far you’ve come so sweet.

2. At some point you’re probably going to feel like giving up. I did, many times, and so did many of the new climbers I was with. It’s a natural reaction to anything new and difficult, but you can minimize it by reminding yourself that it’s normal, taking frequent breaks (but not long enough for your heart to return to its resting rate), slowing your pace down just a little bit, finding shade if you’re feeling hot, and keeping your eye on the prize (the peak), and thinking of the trip in small sections vs. an entire mountain. As I neared the top, I was so exhausted I had to promise myself I’d just make it to that flower or rock or patch of grass I could see just a few steps ahead. And then I did that again, and again. And I got up that mountain literally one step at a time. That might sound tedious, but it kept me going and got me to that peak.

3. You may come across sections that require the use of your hands. While your beginner mountain should never require the use of climbing ropes or crampons or other gear, you may have rocky or steep sections to traverse that slow you down, make you stop and think about every step, and, in some cases, require you to use your hands to get around obstacles. If there’s an established trail these shouldn’t be too numerous or too difficult. Take it slow, watch your step, find solid places to grip, and remember that the more challenging it is, the more rewarding it is.

4. At the top, you may experience intense levels of euphoria. Not only have you done something incredible with your body, achieved something you may have never thought you could do, been somewhere most people will never go and been rewarded with a fantastic view – OMG, you’re done climbing. The moment you realize that, as in child birth, most of the holy crap what the hell was I thinking? memories fade immediately, to be replaced by feelings of pride and accomplishment and even, dare I say, an irrational but nonetheless deserved well that wasn’t so bad or two. Savor this moment. Capture it in a way that facilitates bragging to friends, family and strangers.

5. Getting down is not necessarily the easy part. Descending is a different kind of difficult. Your heart rate is back to normal, your quads are no longer on fire, you won’t be sweating as much, you won’t need as much water, and chances are the trip down will be a whole lot faster than the trip up. But your feet, and for some, your knees…how they will suffer enough to make up for it.

Good boots and socks can mitigate foot soreness to a large degree, but even with the best of those, unless it was a short, easy hike to the top, you’re likely to feel some foot discomfort one the way down. Rocks and loose gravel can make us unconsciously stiffen our feet up to keep ourselves steady on steep declines, and just the act of all that walking alone will wear them out. If you’ve got cranky joints, you’re likely to feel the impact on your knees for a few days. Both of these are temporary and can be proudly considered battle wounds for a job well done!

In our next mountain climbing guide, we’ll tackle intermediate climbs that require very little technical gear or expertise, but often require an overnight camp and/or sections of “scrambling.”

Readers, have you ever climbed a mountain? Share your tips and experience with us here! If this guide has inspired you to give it a shot, come on back and tell us all about it!Similar Posts:

• The Fat Girl’s Guide to Indoor Rock Climbing
• Ask FGG: Where can I find comfortable ski boots for big calves?
• Ask FGG: “Is there an easier way for overweight women to climb stairs?”

image by eriwst

Dear FGG,

I’ve worn thongs since HS (big fan of no panty line), but it’s time for a reboot for me and my Target doesn’t sell my tried and true thongs anymore. I’ve worn other types of thongs and now understand what most people say re: thongs and uncomfortable. But regular panties feel weird on my used-to-no-fabric cheeks. Can we have a roundup on the best knickers out there? Thongs, boy shorts, panties – meant for women who might be carrying a little extra behind or in their tummy?

Oh, do I feel your pain. A few years ago, Target stopped carrying my favorite panties (I prefer a hipster style for coverage where I’m widest) and I still don’t think I’ve completely recovered. I think it’s common to become accustomed to a certain style, fabric, or cut, making everything else feel anywhere from alien and annoying to downright uncomfortable. You don’t mention a price range, but I did some digging and found some more affordable styles. For specialty boutiques that offer sweet nothings on the more frilly side, check out our Ask FGG column on plus-size lingerie.

If comfort is your first priority over the thong style, I’ll start with a few words about fabric. Avoid nylon and look for cotton paired with Lycra or Spandex (cotton keeps you cooler and Lycra®/Spandex adds stretch so your panties move with you comfortably). For a bump in cost, seek out performance, sports, or microfiber panties made with fabrics designed to wick moisture away from your body while you sweat while also moving with your body as effortlessly during workouts as everyday activities. (Junonia’s QuikCool™ fabric is a good example).

Keep in mind that these are just suggestions and, sadly, our staff hasn’t taken the opportunity to test these brands ourselves (but that would be a fun outing!). For a basic necessity, underwear is a finely honed personal preference and it might take some trial and error before you find a style or brand that suits you.

Comfy plus size bikinis, hipsters, and briefs

I hit the websites for many major big box and department stores and frequently recoiled in horror as I discovered that white and beige granny panties are still alive and well in the 21st century. So it took some digging, but I knew that Old Navy is a popular resource for affordable casual clothing, and while their plus size offerings are now available online only (what’s up with that, Old Navy?), their selection isn’t bad. These cotton/Spandex plus-size hipster 3-packs look great and the price is right at 3/$12 (also available in a bikini cut). These silky-smooth Hips and Curves microfiber bikini briefs ($9.99; sizes 1X-4X) come in fun colors and is also available in a boy short and thong style.

Plus size boy shorts and boxer briefs that fit like a second skin

Lane Bryant has a decent selection of boy short panties in plus sizes, but their lace trim microfiber boy shorts look super-comfy (3 for $29; up to size 26/28). Avenue has a utilitarian but super-sleek looking seamless boy short panty ($9.90/buy 2 get 1 free; up to size 26/28; also in a cute stripe pattern), and Just My Size (also available at Walmart) sells super-cheap ($9.98/4-pack) cotton boy shorts (watch their sizing, which goes from 9 to 14 but those correspond to 44-45″ and 61-64″ hips). I offer up these seamless plus-size boxer briefs for women by Junonia (cotton/Lycra® blend, $24.95, up to size 6X) as neither as a cheap-and-easy or adorable find, but a style I’d love to see more of out there.

Plus size Thongs with some stretch for comfort

These lace-trim Old Navy thongs (up to size 4X, they also come in stretch lace singles and cotton 3-packs–remember, sold online only) look perfect: stretchy, comfy, generously sized (some reader reviews suggest buying a size down, which means better odds that they’ll fit bigger girls) and they’re on sale as of this writing. Lane Bryant Cacique stretch cotton thongs look comfortable (sizes 12 – 26/28; 5 for $29); check their in-store sale tables for seasonal markdowns. I like the fuller coverage at the sides of this Woman Within stretch thong; they’re also tag-free for even more comfort (sized by hip width up to 68″). Avenue’s stretch lace thongs are also on sale now, come in vibrant colors and look super-comfy (sizes 14/16-30/32).

Good luck in your search for the perfect panties!

C’mon girls: tell us about your underwear. What’s your preferred style, brand, and/or retailer, and how do they best fit your body type?Similar Posts:

• Ask FGG: “Are There Any Padded Plus-Size Bike Shorts?”
• Ask FGG: Where Can I Find Cheap Plus-Size Pajamas?
• Ask FGG: “Rash Guard Shirts in Plus Sizes?”

Try something that looks fun but makes you nervous. We dare you.
(image by Lori Greig)

This summer, I tried something that terrified me. And I loved it.

Something about surrendering my body to a dark, narrow tube, hurtling downward through twists and turns, only to be unceremoniously ejected and swiftly deposited into the chilly water below freaked me out. Go figure. “I’ll stick to the slower slide, thankyouverymuch,” became my mantra. But my desire for comfort made me uncomfortable; what was I modeling to my kids about trying new things, what would the 18-year-old me have done, and was I missing out on something I’d probably find thrilling? Knowing my battle with desire vs. hesitancy, my husband kept nudging me to try it, then the kids joined in (“If I can do it, you can, Mom!”). I climbed the two flights of stairs to the platform, waved to my family far below, then took a deep breath and pushed off into the darkness.

Was it scary? Yep. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I spent the rest of the afternoon hurrying up the stairs to hit that slide again and again. Nobody pointed and laughed at the big mama behaving like a kid; if anything, I think my joy was infectious. Maybe some other women watching were inspired. Or maybe nobody cared at all and my worries over what others might think were unfounded. (Nobody even noticed me surreptitiously correcting my massive, post-splashdown water wedgie.)

The comfort zone for us bigger girls (remaining indoors with the AC blasting, telling ourselves we can’t do certain activities or wear certain things) can start out as a sacred space where firm boundaries are drawn. But as that zone expands, it can also become an overstuffed cushion ready to absorb our every excuse, the well-worn collection of stories we tell ourselves, like “fat girls can’t ride a horse,” stories that hold us back from really living our lives to the fullest. Think back to the last time you successfully pushed beyond your comfort zone (tango lessons? speed dating? aqua aerobics?) and came out the other side perfectly okay. Sure, there may have been missteps or embarrassing moments, but you lived to tell the tale, right? This guide to summer fun offers suggestions for getting out and trying something new, and we encourage you to come back and tell us how your new experiences went – stumbles, triumphs, wedgies, and all.

Hiking–which is essentially walking in a more rugged, natural setting–is a great activity because it can be as easy or as challenging as you decide to make it and it’s a great beginner’s adventure. Our two-part guide to hot weather hiking (Part 1 here and Part 2 here), plus our guide to hiking in challenging conditions like sand dunes or muddy areas are great starting points. I know heat and humidity, combined with the need to expose more skin, can feel like insurmountable hurdles here. Look for plus-sized workout wear, carry plenty of water, expect to sweat (it’s okay; really!) and start small at first if you’re nervous–many city parks offer plenty of green space for beginners to test their trail legs, and plenty of park and recreation districts offer guided hikes geared toward beginners.

Speaking of city parks, I’ve been taking advantage of our sizable park to ride my bike either early in the morning or after dinner, when the sunlight isn’t as unforgiving (either way, I still wear sweatproof sunscreen). Our guide to cycling, mad love for cruiser bikes and tips on finding plus-size padded bike shorts are helpful starting points if you’ve been itching to travel on two wheels but not sure where to start. If you’re worried about deflating the tires on your bike, we’ve tackled this issue, too (you won’t).

If getting on the water is on your life list, our guides to kayaking, canoeing and surfing should prove tempting. Or maybe taking a cruise is more your speed; you can be as chill and comfortable as you wish, or you can embark on new adventures on board (rock climbing walls, dance lessons) or off (rainforest zipline tours, island exploration). Of course, if you’ve read the FGG About page, you know my suggestion will be to opt for at least one adventure. Perhaps being in the water is your goal but you’ve been avoiding swimsuit shopping; you’ll want to consult our guide to figure-flattering swimwear and best places to find a plus-sized sarong to wrap around your suit, and we recently helped a reader with some ideas on attending a poolside bachelorette party in Vegas (we also have some insights into the daunting prospect of socializing in swimwear).

I know we cover a lot of active ground here at FGG, but I also understand that rest and relaxation are an integral part of enjoying the summer season. I suggest striking a balance between stepping outside of your usual routine and rewarding yourself for doing so. Perhaps a girlfriend getaway is in order (you are TOO worth it!), or it’s time to finally find a hammock that feels comfy and supportive while you swing lazily reading some great fiction featuring plus-sized protagonists. Just remember: too much comfort can be as detrimental to mind, body, and spirit as too much stress. Use the rest of these summer days to push yourself a little bit and try something you think would be fun.

We’ve packed a ton of summer fun into this guide, but we’re always eager to hear your suggestions for guides to activities you’ve been longing to try but aren’t sure where to begin – share your “life list” ideas in comments. Similar Posts:

• Stuff We Love: Summer of Dresses
• FGG July 2010 Roundup
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relaxing moment courtesy of ximenacab

Some “Ask FGG” questions apply on any day of the year. Others, like this week’s reader inquiry, seem custom-made for hot and steamy July days.

There’s a spot on my back deck that would look great with a hammock, but I don’t want to spend a lot of money on something that might not hold me. Are hammocks one size fits all? If not, where should I look?

Few objects in this world say “relaxation” more completely than hammocks — they might as well work a good book and a refreshing drink into the purchase price. For overweight women, however, hammocks tend to fall into the category of “Items We Feel Compelled to Approach With Caution,” for fear they may not support our weight. (Other objects on that list: Camping chairs. Spindle-legged chairs. Men with runners’ builds.)

Choosing a fat-girl-friendly hammock

For the kind of portable hammock that’s popular for camping or use in the space you’re describing (i.e. sets up and relocates easily onto a deck or lawn, no trees or hardware required), a weight capacity of 225-250 pounds is pretty common. Most big box stores or sporting/outdoor goods retailers seem to offer at least one comparable model, in addition to styles with more of a sling factor.

Since you’ll be giving the hammock a home on your deck and likely won’t need to move it around, you’ll do better with a stand-and-hammock combo. To ensure reliable support, choose a hammock bed with a higher weight capacity (the Island Bay XL rope hammock accommodates 450 pounds) and mount it on a heavy-duty hammock frame; even better: buy both pieces as a kit ($174.98, Hammocks.com). Unless you’re specifically shopping through a site like LivingXL or My Size USA, look for hammocks that are geared toward multiple people; the weight limit, width and often the length will be higher than your standard one-person hammock.

If you prefer your hammock bed to feel more solid beneath you than rope weave, try a fabric or quilted style, instead. Girls who like more substantial-feeling hammocks will also want to choose a design with spreader bars, which hold the hammock open to create a flat surface rather than a slack sling. On the other hand, hammocks without spreader bars (350-pound capacity with adjustable frame, $169.98) offer a more cocoon-like feeling as you sink into them — though climbing back out may prove tricky. The frame we’d buy if money were no object? The Hatteras Hammocks® Roman Arc® hammock stand (450-pound capacity, $499.95). And then we’d put it on the dreamy beach scene in the photo and we’d swing on that puppy.

Installing your hammock securely

Whatever design you choose, be sure to buy a frame that’s compatible (some frames won’t accommodate hammocks with spreader bars), as well as any additional hardware your specific model indicates. Once installed, unoccupied hammocks without spreader bars should hang parallel to the ground without sagging. The hammock will sink once your weight is in it, but shouldn’t sag much — if at all — before that point. Detach and stretch the hammock tighter if necessary.

Readers who’ve had one eye sizing up the backyard trees as they read this post (13-16 feet apart is ideal) should keep in mind that they’ll need hardware secure enough to bear the same weight as their hammocks. Using hardware is preferable to tying rope around the trees for permanent installations because rope can be more harmful to trees in the long run. For temporary hammock placement, such as while on vacation, try easy-to-use tree straps.

Once everything is securely fastened, it’s time to take your new toy for a test swing, taking care to keep your weight evenly distributed (especially as you climb in) so the hammock doesn’t flip. All that’s left to do now is sway (okay, nap) for hours on end without a care. Isn’t summer grand?

Speaking of relaxing naps: I’m off to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine on the beach of Lake Huron. Look for fabulous posts by Toni & Tee while I’m gone, and I’ll see you all in August!

We’re curious: Do you prefer a flatter hammock bed or one that cocoons you? And what setup (frame, trees, portable) has worked best for your hammocking needs? Tell us in the comments.
Similar Posts:

• Ask FGG: What camp chairs are most comfortable for big butts?
• Ask FGG: Best bathroom scales for big girls?
• Ask FGG: “I Want Sexy and Stylish Swimwear, Too!”

Squeeze every bit of fun into your amusement park trip (Great America photo booth ca. 1998)

Until I was 14, I was terrified of roller coasters.

Per longstanding tradition, our 8th grade class trip took place at Sandusky, OH-based Cedar Point. It was 1990 and the Magnum had just debuted. The sleek, orange monster boasted a 204-foot plunge at an angle of 60 degrees. Obviously, it was the only thing anyone cared about riding . . . with one very notable exception. While my friends racked up run after run on the coaster, I held people’s bags, wandered off with a random girl from my class to get lunch, and rode less stomach-turning attractions like the Scrambler and the Swings.

The kicker is that I wasn’t even fat back then. Certainly I weighed more than most of the girls in my class (and those extra 20 pounds may as well have been 200 in my mind). But what kept me off the Magnum wasn’t weight — it was just plain old fear. The following spring, goaded by my friends to the point of capitulation, I boarded the orange nemesis and screamed my head off during the famous drop . . . and I absolutely loved it. After that, some kind of adrenaline switch flipped inside of me and there wasn’t a ride in any park I wouldn’t try.

Viewing the photo at the top of this post — college friends all crammed into one of the photo booths that line the midway of every good theme park — actually makes me sad, because that was my last trip to coaster-ville. One thing or another has derailed every planned trip for more than a decade, until I’ve found myself asking the proverbial fat girl question: “Am I too fat for the rides?” This question is followed by its slightly less painful siblings, “Can I do all that walking?” and “Girl, don’t you remember how badly water-ride-soaked pants can chafe?”

For every overweight girl who’s asked herself the same questions, let’s see what we can figure out . . .

Plus-size amusement ride restriction policies

Given the highly publicized incident at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, where park staff turned away overweight patrons from one ride, theme park ride passenger size has garnered more attention than usual lately. And the very blunt truth is that for overweight patrons, it makes sense to review the park’s guidelines and ride restrictions before buying tickets or — worse — getting to the front of the hour-long Superman: Ultimate Flight queue and being turned away. Beyond just a weight restriction, many rides — certainly more than I remember! — now carry size restrictions based on the restraint harness or bars that hold passengers in place. Ultimately, the park needs to ensure the safety of all riders. So what’s the best way to inform yourself before your next visit?

Most parks provide at least some information on their Web sites regarding ride restrictions, although the verbiage is often vague or focused around minimum rider height. Cedar Point has gone the total transparency route by publicizing policies for passengers of “exceptional size” (including women weighing more than 200 pounds, or individuals taller than 6’2), as well as how the guidelines affect prospective riders on individual attractions.

To give real-world context to the online information, you can review other park-goers’ experiences on boards like Theme Park Insider, Coaster Critic and Theme Park Review. And overweight lifestyle blog GrandStyle offers an impressive round-up of ride logistics and plus-size park patron experiences from around the country.

Some parks have opted to take the proactive approach one step further by placing actual-size “test seats” along the queue lines for various attractions. Theoretically, this measure allows passengers whose size might not be compatible with the ride to self select out of the line, saving embarrassment for both passenger and park employee when it’s time to board.

And yet, it’s not as though the 19-year-old ride attendant is standing there with a scale or a measuring tape to disprove your ride eligibility. On my last visit to Six Flags Great America, I rode every single coaster and thrill ride in the park without issue. I weighed 240 pounds. Some of the harnesses were on their last click, perhaps, and my hips have never wanted to fit neatly into any ride seat. Despite these logistics, the only true moment of discomfort was while straddling the seat portion of a standing coaster, something my ridiculously short legs were never meant to do. As with the two-seat policy employed by many airlines, enforcement seems to be hit-and-miss, and patrons are left to the honor system to gauge their own ride eligibility, unless questioned by an attendant. Would I still have boarded the Wave Swinger, had I known about its 230-pound weight limit? Probably. Would I recommend the same action to a friend? Good question.

Finding theme park excitement at any size

Whether you’re coaster-phobic, skeptical about size restrictions, or just not a fan of motion sickness, there are still plenty of ways to enjoy yourself at a theme park if you’re not crazy about the rides. We’ve already established that photo booths are one of my favorite things on earth, but the midway is packed with other beckoning diversions. Duck out of the hot sun and into a theater for a show. Issue an epic skee-ball throwdown in the arcade. Channel your inner hussy and pose for some old-time photos in western barroom garb. Challenge your kids to some no-holds-barred bumper cars. Or be the people screeching off-key Spice Girls songs in the recording booth as onlookers shake their heads. (As someone who has witnessed a friend’s park-recorded “Kokomo” video from 1989, I cannot emphasize strongly enough the potential for hilarity here.)

The upshot is that there’s plenty to do, even if you’re feeling like the tag-along to friends (or kids) who are much more excited about thrill rides than you are. Coasters get the glory, but they’re just the tip of the amusement park iceberg.

Managing dietary restrictions at the park

When it comes to theme park meals and snacks, these days you can go as healthy or as indulgent as you choose. While the traditional midway fare (hot dogs, nachos, ice cream, fries, you know the drill) still holds court in parks nationwide, there’s a strong push to bring healthier, more wholesome choices into the mix — and to make options like water and fresh fruit accessible. When possible, check out the park restaurants online before visiting, so you know which area of the grounds will be the best bet for your ideal meal. Or, fill some lunch box coolers with your favorite munchies and eat your meals picnic-style (check the website of your park to make sure outside food and drink are permitted).

Remember that you’ll pay excessive park prices for everything from Diet Coke to a simple chicken sandwich. Combine that fact with the importance of staying hydrated, and it’s clear that a refillable water bottle is a must-have. Instead of dropping $3 every few hours, you’ll stay cool and flush by simply cruising past a drinking fountain.

Dressing for all-day comfort at the park

Let’s start with the obvious: You’ll be covering a lot of ground during your theme park adventure, so wear shoes that fit and provide long-lasting support. This isn’t the time to break in a cute pair of sandals, ladies; you’ll be hobbled with blisters before lunch. Beyond the comfy shoes approach, pack an extra pair of socks (two, and an extra pair of shoes if you plan to hit the water rides) for later in the day. You can always stash a bag with your extra gear in a rental locker.

When it comes to clothing, the two most important factors are weather and water. Protect yourself from all-day sun exposure with a water-proof, sweat-proof sunblock; don’t forget to apply even to your hair part if you don’t plan to wear a hat. And if you’re lulled by the water rides, either choose clothing that dries easily or pack an extra set for after the splashing good times. (Seriously, denim weighs about 10 times more when it’s wet.) A hot, sweaty day at the theme park is bound to bring out the chafing, so have your favorite remedy in place.

Theme parks can be a great place to face your fears (of heights. . . of crowds. . . of food on a stick. . .) if you let yourself give in and enjoy wherever the day takes you. At the end of the day, when your feet are sore and your throat is raw from screaming (either on a coaster or at the sugar-buzzed kids), hopefully the park experience will have been one to remember — even if you hope your own photographic evidence never surfaces on a blog a dozen years later.

Have you been to an amusement park recently? Tell us how you made it a fabulous experience — or what you’d do differently next time. Similar Posts:

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The mission: To blend in here (image by YoTut)

One of the best parts of receiving FGG reader mail is that it gives us a glimpse into how diverse your lives and interests are. In recent weeks, we’ve fielded questions on everything from cycling to sundresses to tennis clothes. And this week it’s all about Vegas, baby!

I have a bachelorette party coming up for my good friend, and it is going to be at Wet Republic at MGM Grand in Las Vegas. I have nothing but thinner friends who can walk around in bikinis and heels . . . . I’m a size 16 and I can’t seem to find a suit and a cover-up that makes me feel sexy like my friends look in their bikinis. Any tips on where to shop? I want to look stylish and be comfortable in a [swim]suit in a public place like that.

Before launching into shopping suggestions, let’s take a moment to acknowledge your decision to attend the bachelorette party with your friends, despite the concerns you’re having. Publicly wearing a swimsuit as an overweight woman can be enough of a mental challenge even before factoring in the club vibe of Wet Republic. Your decision not to let your weight dictate whether you attend, but rather to seek a way to rock your own killer curves at the celebration is what FGG is all about. Good for you, girl!

Sexy full-figured swimwear

Now the fun part: shopping! If you haven’t already read through our recent Guide to Figure-Flattering Swimwear, it’s a great place to begin getting ideas for fun, trendy swimwear in plus sizes (including some sexy swim dress looks). We also recently answered another reader’s question about plus-size sarongs.

Both posts offer a mixed bag of finds, both practical and sexy. With your specific goal of blending into bikini-land in mind, what about a one-shoulder design from Monif C.? The single-shoulder look is hot this season, and the suit still provides plenty of coverage, as well as the option to show more or less leg, depending on your mood. (For more secure bust support, you can add the optional second shoulder strap.)

For a bikini-like feel with more stomach coverage, check out the plus-size offerings from Bikini Sunshine. Their two-piece suits are ordered as separates, so you can mix and match for the best size combination of top (cup sizes A/B through DDD) and bottom (sizes up to 18). We were drawn to both the black matte and purple babydoll tankini styles, in particular.

FGG editorial also admits to an ongoing love affair with the suits from Pinup Girl Clothing. Several of their styles come in plus sizes (up to size 20) and they’re bold, colorful and sexy in ways that celebrate the curves not all bikini bods can boast. Frankly, should you opt for the new vintage-inspired sheath suit (in red, black or gold), it wouldn’t shock us if your bikini-clad friends envied you.

Choosing a stylish cover-up to match

The cover-up you reach for will likely depend on the cut of your suit, but there’s just enough flounce and movement in this bandeau, waterfall-style design (sizes 1X-3X, Always For Me) to help you feel sexy without being over-exposed. If that’s not your style, the same site offers plenty of other options, including flirty skirts with tummy control (1X-3X) to babydoll dresses in multiple colors (2X-3X). Or, you could go for sexy and simple by pairing a georgette sarong (1X-2X, Swimsuits Just For Us) with the Rio De Janeiro Twist Bandeau suit from Always For Me. Available in four colors and sizes ranging from 16W-26W, this gorgeous, curve-hugging suit is just begging for a trip to Vegas.

Whatever look you choose, be sure to read Peony’s thoughts on swimsuit socializing before hitting the pool, and remember that confidence is the sexiest accessory of all. Have fun and keep us posted!

Ladies: What fat-girl phobias have you conquered so far this summer? Tell us about the activity or social gathering you braved — or suggest another great pool-party fashion for this reader. Similar Posts:

• FGG May 2010 Roundup
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