The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Are these Shape-ups fat-girl friendly?

Dear FGG: I keep seeing ads for all these shoes that tone your body just by walking in them. Do they actually work? And are they safe for overweight women to wear? I’m afraid I’ll topple over!

Lately, it’s hard to miss commercials for either the new Sketchers Shape-ups or Reebok’s EasyTone fitness footwear. Although designed very differently, both are based on a similar concept (decreased stability is used to engage and challenge muscles) and are promoted as a faster way to achieve a toned butt and legs, while also losing weight. To test these claims, I trotted into two local shoe stores for some fat-girl field research, where I spoke with a shoe-fitting guru for scoop on whether these shoes live up to their hype.

Sketchers Shape-ups

Although you can purchase these puppies in every style from sandals to boots to standard athletic shoe, two different staff members at my local Lady Foot Locker assured me that the rocker technology on all the shoes was the same — a claim the Sketchers web site seems to reinforce. The signature curved, rocking-horse nature of each Shape-ups sole is designed to mimic the effect of walking on soft ground, where your heel sinks in and your muscles have to work to stabilize the body with each step. The unique design also gives the shoes a platform-like look and feel, adding a couple of inches to the wearer’s height.

After lacing up the black & white “Strength” models a clerk brought out at random for me to try (a design I’d actually consider owning — plus a name that matches my shoulder tattoo), I completed several laps around the store to get a feel for the shoes. Although I felt the “soft sand” comparison immediately, the shoes weren’t uncomfortable to wear; at no point did I feel as though I’d fall over — due to my weight or otherwise. Wearing them definitely forced me to pay attention to how I was walking, which likely affected my posture for the better. And whether it was just the increased emphasis on my stride or the actual science of the shoe, I did feel my calves working harder during the five minutes I tooled around the store.

Ultimately, although I remained curious about the Sketchers and would have loved to give them a lengthy, in-home test run, two things would likely keep me from purchasing them for myself. First, the price tag was steep–$110 for a pair of shoes I couldn’t see myself wearing everywhere due to their just-plain-weird profile. But more importantly, the shoes didn’t seem to offer any allowances for the way my feet behave when I walk. The straightforward arc on the shoe is made for people whose feet land 100% straight ahead and flush with every step, where some people (myself included) have feet that land at an outward angle, and others walk pigeon-toed. Additionally, I could occasionally feel my foot coming down along the outside edge of the sole as I strode, leaving me to wonder if I might at some point hyper-extend or turn my ankle in shoes designed to channel me into walking in a way that conflicted with my foot’s shape and natural tread.

Reebok EasyTone

Rather than an elevated rocking-horse arc on their soles, shoes in the Reebok EasyTone line instead employ what the company calls “balance pods” on the sole and heel to create instability. I took my questions about this shoe straight to an expert — longtime professional shoe fitter (and surname-phobic) José of family-owned and operated Murphy’s Fit shoe store and athletic wear in Evanston, IL. Settled in a comfy fitting chair (which moments earlier had been occupied by local nightly news anchor, Mark Suppelsa as he laced up new kicks), I asked José directly, “Are these types of shoes safe to wear, or will they make a person — especially an overweight person — feel too unstable?”

With a wry smile (I’m guessing he’s fielded this question often lately), José told me I’ve essentially answered my own question with just one key word: Unstable.

Using my own worn-out gym shoe to demonstrate, José walked me through his expert opinion on “toning” shoes: “Only eight percent of people will actually see any real benefit from these shoes,” he said, pausing to laugh at my stunned reaction. “Eight percent of people strike on the outside [of their foot] and stay on the side. They’re called ‘supinators.’ They tend to have a high arch and don’t require a lot of stability from their shoes because their feet never cave in when they walk.” As it turns out, because they keep their weight on the outside edges of their shoes — where the EasyTone balance pods meet regular sole — “they’re the only ones who would ever see ANY results from this shoe. For everyone else, it has the potential to be dangerous.”

Dangerous? Really? “Sixty percent of people strike in the back [of the foot] and roll through at least partially before their foot caves toward center,” said José. These are “pronators,” and I’m apparently one of them, although my feet don’t roll in until the very last minute. “The [EasyTone] shoe isn’t stable for pronators because of the placement of the [balance pod] ball. These people need stability when they walk so they don’t injure themselves.” The final 30% of walkers can be described as “over-pronators” who tend to have flatter feet and lower arches. According to José, these strides don’t strike at the back but instead roll inward immediately, thereby also requiring a shoe with stability. While there’s no “weight limit” on either type of shoe, the unstable feeling they create could be hazardous to anyone more prone to falling or turning an ankle — big girls included.

Ultimately, after trying out the Shape-ups and getting schooled on pronation statistics as they apply to EasyTone designs, I felt very comfortable with my final shoe purchase — a running shoe designed for pronators, complete with a 1/4″ instep wedge to provide stability for my “ballerina feet” (as José described them). While the flashy gimmicks and promises of faster/easier/better toning and weight loss may be alluring — and the shoes may actually work for some — don’t forget that tried-and-true fitness tips are tried-and-true for a reason. Have your feet professionally sized and your walk (also called ‘gait’) evaluated, then invest in a pair of shoes that  provide support where you need it. . . and use them — often!

Have you guinea-pigged a pair of toning shoes? Tell us why you love ‘em or loathe ‘em in comments.

Facing a fat-girl nemesis (image by puroticorico)

The fire alarm went off in our ancient office building today — welcome to Monday morning! After covering our ears and exchanging “really?” glances, we reluctantly allowed ourselves to be herded toward the stairwell, where we began descending the stairs — all 17 flights of them. By floor number 10 or so, all I could think was how grateful I was that we wouldn’t be asked to climb back up the same never-ending spiral. With that experience fresh in my mind, it seemed like a good week to answer this question:

Dear FGG: I hate stairs! No matter how slowly I climb, I’m always panting after one flight. Is there a way to climb stairs without feeling winded?”

Let’s be honest: stairs can be a pain when you’re a fat girl. We have more weight to carry, there’s increased pressure on our joints and feet, and it can be embarrassing to get to the top and feel like you’re the only one gasping for air. I’ve known many overweight people who’ve carefully structured their daily paths to include the fewest number of stairs possible. I’ll even admit to occasionally opting for an extra two-block walk and skipping the faster train in favor of a bus if it meant zero stairs.

But climbing steps is a part of life, whether inside your two-story house, because of a broken elevator, or to access nosebleed seats to watch your favorite hockey team. So when I interviewed certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor Cortney Wall of Galter LifeCenter (while chest-deep in pool water — anything for our readers!), I secretly hoped she was about to impart the hush-hush, magic-bullet tip of a lifetime.

It’s all about heart

Well, yes and no. Wall insists there’s no magical combination of muscle groups to tone or cajole into moving us up the stairs more easily. Instead, “the key is to strengthen your heart and your breathing and your muscles,” she says. “People think, ‘Oh, I’ll work on my legs or my arms,’ and strength training is great but it won’t strengthen your heart to help your body become more efficient.” Cardio training is the only way to do that. Definitely a clear answer, if not the quick fix we might like.

Wall compares the body’s cardio capabilities to a car’s gas mileage: Many overweight women lack cardiovascular strength, so every movement — especially stair climbing, where there’s an altitude shift — uses more energy (fuel) than a fit woman of comparable size. The more cardiovascular work you do, the more you ramp up your body’s efficiency. “If we went out to the lobby right now and climbed the flight of stairs, you might get to the top and be out of breath,” Wall explained to me. “But keep working out and getting your heart rate up and in six months when we climb the stairs again, you might think, ‘Wow, that was nothing!’ That’s your body going from 15 miles per gallon to 35 miles per gallon. You’re more efficient because your heart is stronger.”

“Get your body moving and your heart rate up,” Wall says, adding that activities like walking and water aerobics (which she teaches) are outstanding for building strong hearts and the ability to do more with one’s body. Plus, she reminds us, they’re low-impact and excellent cardio options for women who are just beginning to strengthen their hearts. Consider this another excellent reason to try for 30 minutes a day of continuous movement, where your heart rate is up and your intensity level is moderate (i.e. you can talk but can’t sing). We’ve heard it before, but three days a week will help produce real-world results — like easier stair climbing — that come from increased stamina.

In the meantime. . .

Okay, so you’re thinking toward building cardiovascular strength for the future, but in the meantime, it’s May 4 and you have to hoof a flight. What to do? Asked for breathing suggestions to avoid getting winded, Wall suggests drawing steady breaths in through the nose and exhaling out through the mouth. “Don’t forget to breathe, and don’t rush yourself. Try to find a cadence that feels right, like in for three counts and out for four.”

The other tip is so obvious we often forget it: “Take your time,” reminds Wall. “And if you need to take a minute or two to recover at the top, go ahead and do it.” For me, the slower I climb the more tired I get, so I tend to try to power up the stairs as quickly as possible. However, taking a break partway up is fine, too. Whatever gets you to the top safely.

To that point, Wall makes my favorite point of our conversation: “So much of what we worry about is in our heads. Ninety-nine percent of the time, no one’s looking.”

Thanks, Cortney, for your great advice and for loving the mission of FGG! Now tell us, readers, how have you won the battle of girl vs. stairs?

Confidence is your best asset in front of the lens (Photo by JenniferBanks21)

This week, we asked our FGG fans on Facebook how they felt about having their picture taken, and the responses weren’t too surprising:

“I’m WAY happier BEHIND the lens because I’m always shocked that the girl looking back at me from a photo is really what I look like.”

“Some fat girl always takes my place in pictures, like magic. So weird.”

“I want to stop avoiding being in pictures.”

Whether staring down the barrel of a wedding photographer’s lens or a camera-happy friend snapping yet another round of Facebook pics, most full-figured women have felt that moment of panic right before the flash fires: “Can I squish behind my friend a little more?” “Do my arms look too flappy?” “I wonder if Photoshop has a ‘make me look like Kate Winslet’ setting?”

Tragically, the “Make Me Look Like Kate!” Photoshop action remains but a fantasy. Still, armed with practical questions from several of my best fat girl friends, I took the subject of looking good in photos to a professional. In addition to covering daily assignments as a photographer for the Grand Rapids Press, Emily Zoladz also freelances throughout west Michigan — including a booming wedding business. Emily gamely tackled topics ranging from trout pout to how to light up a candid photo, and even shared her own “can I hide it?” area. (Yes, fit girls have them too!) If you’ve ever wished you could dodge the camera rather than face an unflattering photo, read on and prepare to smile with confidence next time the camera swings in your direction. Knowing how to look our best in photos is an essential life skill for women (and men) of any size, because we deserve to feel fabulous when we look back on ourselves enjoying our favorite occasions.

FGG: What colors other than black are slimming in photos?

EZ: Anything dark, or any combination of dark with light on top (e.g. a dark skirt with a light-colored top). Also, go with what matches your eyes. For blue eyes, navy is a great color. If you have hazel eyes, wear olive or hunter green, and so on. 

FGG: Do you light or pose plus-size girls differently?

EZ: I don’t light full-figured girls differently. However, side filtered light (e.g. coming from a window or a soft box) is going to be more flattering than direct, unfiltered light on anyone. As for the pose, I think you should pose however you are comfortable. If I want you to sit on a window seat but you feel self-conscious about your legs, then go ahead — put a pillow on your lap and hug it. A confident, glowing smile is going to be what draws any eye to your portrait, regardless of the pose.

[FGG note: For a pose that elongates your body in a standing photo, try angling your body and feet toward the camera about 45 degrees but not fully sideways. Extend your outer leg slightly farther than your inner leg, and twist only your upper body toward the camera.]

FGG: Is there a universally flattering or “best” angle that makes a fuller face look thinner or minimizes double chins?

EZ: I would say side profiles tend to be more slimming than a full front-on pose. If I am photographing the side of the face, I can see the subject’s cheek bones more prominently. Practice for this pose by glancing over your shoulder and twisting your torso SLIGHTLY, as if someone has called your name and you are casually looking to see who it was. Also, keep your shoulders back and stacked high, rather than slouching. It may feel like you are sticking your tummy out, but broader shoulders actually create the illusion of a smaller waist. I would also avoid low angles (if your photographer is crouched down below you, pointing the lens upwards), because this will create double chins.

FGG: Does a “best” side really exist for each person? How do we know what it is?

EZ: I think people really do have a “best” side. It all depends on face structure. Noses are a big factor, cheek bones, as well. If you want to figure out yours, study old pictures of yourself and see if you can find any pattern among the “good” ones. Also, practice tilting your face this way and that in the mirror. Do you prefer the way you look like with your head cocked to the side, or facing straight-on?

FGG: Is it possible to pull off a successful come-hither look without looking like a trout?

EZ: [Laughs] I think the best way to pull this off is just to look serious. Don’t think about being sexy, think about being slightly mad. Don’t glare at the camera, just pout a little like something is annoying you. Some people are better at this than others. . . my friend Sasha pulls it off brilliantly.

FGG: What about avoiding half-closed eyes and having them “pop” without looking crazy or bug-eyed?

EZ: This is really up to the photographer. Some people are just blinkers, so you need to take several photographs in case you catch them in a blinking moment. To give your eyes a little “pop” without looking bug-eyed, try raising your eyebrows [a bit] and trying to think more intensely. Exert energy into that smile (or that frown, pout, etc.).

FGG: Let’s talk group photos: Where’s the best place for a big girl to stand if she wants to blend in?

EZ: In group photos, larger figures tend to blend better if they are mixed into the group, not on the end. If you are concerned about sticking out, don’t stand dead center, but don’t also stand on the end.

FGG: Any suggestions for girls who feels self-conscious of particular features, like wide hips, a belly or large upper arms?

EZ: When that camera is raised and you brace yourself into a pose, think about the features you DO like, not the ones you don’t. Everyone has something they are self-conscious about (for me it’s my upper arms). Pose how you are comfortable; if that means having to sit down, or twist yourself sideways a little, do it. A confident smile is key.

FGG: How much retouching or Photoshopping is included with professional pictures?

EZ: Retouching really varies depending on the professional and the purpose. I do retouching in weddings, but only for the bride and groom. I have nipped brides’ chins and necks up a little, firmed arms and pinched waists. Having said that, I won’t do anything that drastically changes the way the bride looks. I am always a little torn doing this, because I want you to look like you. At the same time, if it’s only [a slight adjustment] and it’s the difference between “Oh, I would love this photo but I HATE the way my arms look!” then the editing might be worth it.

FGG: You take a lot of candid shots — what advice would you give to any girl about embracing being photographed this way, which sometimes feels “scary” because she can’t control how she looks?

EZ: People are the most beautiful (in my opinion) when they are just being themselves. Don’t worry about a silly expression or if a shot will be made with your mouth half open. In reality, the photographer is thinking about how the light is hitting you, what angle best creates a clean composition — and then waiting for a particular moment to happen so that we can capture the essence of you. We aren’t going to go with that photo where you look awkward. We just sometimes have to take photos like that until you loosen up enough to show us who you really are.

FGG: Final advice for our readers? Anything goes!

EZ: I know I said it already, but BE CONFIDENT. Your personality is what shows through on film, not some silly jaw clench that you think makes your cheekbones pop.

One of my best friends swears by the “extend your neck out, then tilt your chin down” trick to shave off a double chin. What’s your secret weapon for looking fabulous in photos?

This week’s guest post is from an unusual source for FGG: a personal trainer who helps celebrities (including Leonardo DiCaprio, Audrey Tautou, and Colin Firth) get into camera-ready shape. Cornel Chin, author of Celebrity Body on a Budget, talks about what it’s really like to train like a celebrity and shares some more practical body toning moves for the rest of us.

[We probably don't need to tell you this, but you should check with your health care provider to ensure these moves are safe for you to perform]

Training to become super-fit like a celebrity isn’t on every woman’s to-do list. While some women want to lose weight, others simply want their clothes to fit a little better or to be able to catch the bus without panting and sweating. But even if you’re not interested in having an “Oscar-ready” body, you may still secretly be wondering what holy grail of exercise celebrities seem to have found that the rest of us haven’t. In truth, celebrities live in the limelight and are constantly under scrutiny, and the dangling carrots of fame and fortune play an important role – where choosing between shedding some extra weight vs. a $10 million movie deal provides powerful motivation.

But don’t be fooled into believing that even the most fit celebrities are doing exercises different from what you may be doing at home or at your gym. Trust me on this: there’s nothing new in fitness–no magic machine that shakes you like a smoothie blender or stretchy cable apparatus that pulls you like a medieval torture device. The biggest difference is that famous people are probably exercising more often and under professional guidance. Many celebrities pay very generously for the right advice and service. They hire personal chefs to serve up their favorite foods, nutritionists to advise their chef what to prepare, and a trainer to do all the fitness thinking for them. All they have to do is show up and perform (no pun intended).

My book, Celebrity Body on a Budget, is designed to encourage people to try working out like a celebrity without having to spend top dollar on nutritionists, trainers and personal chefs. Even if you have no desire to whip yourself into a frenzy worthy of Hollywood, you might find a few new moves to shake up your regular exercise routine–or kick one off if you’re currently sedentary.

Here are a few simple moves that can be easily incorporated into your daily life. I’ve chosen exercises that don’t require a lot of getting down on the floor and back up again, which can be challenging if you’re substantially overweight, but that will yield visible results over time if you’re doing them at least every other day.

UPPER BODY MOVE: ANYWHERE DIPS

The triceps (rear upper arms), also affectionately known as ‘bingo swingers’ or ‘bat wings,’ is a troublesome area for many women.

The Dip exercise is perhaps one of the best moves, which can be performed against any safe, fixed bench, desk or chair. Think kitchen counter top, work desk/station, park bench, or waiting room bench–most places have a fixed surface. Simply face away from the surface, place your hands hip width apart and keep your knees slightly bent. Then, bend at your elbows to lower your body to no lower than a right angle. To extend up again to the start position, just extend the arms again avoiding locking out the elbows. Try 10 repetitions and work up to 20 reps. Progress up to a couple of sets of 15 reps, then 18, then 20 etc.

MID-SECTION MOVE – THE T.V. PULL-IN

This little discreet number is perhaps one of the simplest exercises, yet it offers a big payout in terms of benefit. This can literally be done anytime and anywhere-sitting, standing, kneeling or even lying down. It works the main core muscle (Transversus Abdominis), which is the main muscle responsible for keeping you upright and maintaining a flat stomach.

All that is required is a little practice, as it’s a bit tricky if you’re new to it. As you take a deep breath in, draw in the area of your stomach situated between your navel and your upper groin. Pull in this area as if drawing in toward your lower back. Hold for 10 seconds, as you breathe out slowly for the same amount of time. Repeat three more times. As you improve, try holding for longer intervals. Try this several times a day, while standing waiting for the kettle to boil or waiting for a bus or train.

LOWER BODY MOVE – DOUBLE STEPS

A great habit many people adopt is taking the stairs instead of an elevator or escalator. To further boost that benefit, try taking two steps at a time instead of one. By doing so, the quadriceps (front thighs) and gluteal muscle (buttocks) are engaged and are worked 50% more than if taking one step at a time. If the steps are not too steep, you may wish to attempt taking three steps at a time. As a safety measure, just ensure the knees are not bending more than a right angle or 90 degrees to avoid undue stress to the knee area.

Cornel Chin is a fitness expert to the stars with over 20 years of experience as a fitness professional. He integrates his diverse background to create an all-encompassing approach to fitness. Cornel is credited for getting Leonardo DiCaprio into shape in double-quick time for the film The Beach, and, as a leading fitness expert, he is a frequent guest on numerous television and radio shows throughout the United Kingdom. Cornel has also been featured in, and regularly contributes to, a host of leading international publications.

Ahhh… by ktpupp

With warmer weather (hopefully) just around the corner, many of us have turned our thoughts to how we might de-winterize our bodies and minds. To that, we say: Spa day, anyone? Before you schedule a luxurious rubdown, some TLC on your piggies, or even (gulp!) a bikini wax, check out this insider advice from our pampering pros. We asked the embarrassing questions so you wouldn’t have to – just consider it our “Spring Forward” gift to you!

Love is blind… and so is massage

One of the most difficult obstacles for many overweight women in terms of self care is embarrassment over their bodies, or fear that their medical professional will say or think something hurtful about their fat. While individual people can occasionally be insensitive enough to prove us right, professional massage therapist Nicolette Becker, of Chicago’s Thousand Waves Spa for Women, sends a clear message.

“I think the most important thing for people to realize is that your massage therapist couldn’t care less what your body looks like,” Becker says. “We aren’t there to judge you. We just want to help you to relax and feel better.” The irony, she says, is that many first-time clients let their nerves undermine the point of the massage. “The more you worry about your body and having someone else seeing and touching your body, the harder it will be for you to relax. And therefore, the less you’ll enjoy the massage.”

To alleviate some of the anxiety (and help you enjoy your well-earned hour of pampering!), know what to expect from your visit. A good therapist will spend a few minutes speaking with you before beginning your massage, asking about any problem spots or injuries. Becker cautions to always disclose any illnesses, skin conditions or rashes, and to not be insulted if the therapist asks if you’re pregnant; this is routine and important for your care. After this mini-consult, you’ll be left for a moment to disrobe and get on the table, beneath the sheet or towel provided. (Note: some tables are heated; if you prefer more, less, or no heat at any time during the session, be sure to let your massage therapist know). During the massage, your therapist will only remove the covering from the body part she is working on, and your private parts will never be exposed.

Becker says she is constantly asked if it’s okay to wear underwear. “You can wear whatever level of clothing you are comfortable with and the therapist will work around it,” she says. “It’s always okay to wear panties, though if they come up really high, your therapist may have trouble reaching all of your low back.” Skip the fancy undergarments, because anything you wear may come into contact with massage oil. Comfort is key here, because your therapist wants you to relax and enjoy the massage. “However,” Becker points out, “the more clothing you remove, the better your massage therapist will be able to work. Bras do tend to get in the way, since they are right over where the majority of the knots are located.”

For comfort during your massage, Becker suggests placing rolled-up towels under your shoulders while prone (face down) if you’re larger chested. Bolsters (long, cylindrical pillows) are also a big help under the ankles while prone, and under the knees while supine (face up). I’m large chested and swaybacked, and I’ve found the bolster makes all the difference in taking pressure off my lower back.

If you’re still nervous, Becker says, “the most important thing to remember is to breathe. Taking nice, deep breaths is the easiest way to relax your body. And if your mind keeps going to worries about your body, you can distract yourself by counting your breaths. Inhale for a count of five and then exhale for a count of five and repeat as long as necessary. It is hard to think about anything else while you are counting.”

And while good hygiene is always appreciated by your therapist, “Don’t worry if you accidentally fart or if your stomach gurgles,” Becker concludes. “It happens all the time.”

Prevention: the key to a pretty pedi

Nothing puts me in the mood for spring like soft feet and a brand new paint job on my toes (preferably in a deep burgundy color). Even if many of us are still a few months away from beach weather, spending an hour indulging in a massaging spa chair getting our toes sandal-ready helps bridge the gap to warmer days. And if your tummy makes bending to paint your own nails difficult, then a pro session is that much more important.

However, before you plunk yourself down in the first strip-mall nail salon you spy, do some research to ensure you don’t walk out with ingrown toenails or a nasty infection from contaminated foot baths or instruments. Basic observation and a few simple questions are your best allies here. Is the pedicurist licensed? Do the surfaces of the salon interior appear clean and hygienic? Do the technicians sterilize instruments and disinfect foot baths between patients (or use disposable tools), or is it an assembly line operation that rotates new clients into the chairs immediately after they’re vacated? Trust your eyes, your gut and the recommendation of a trusted friend or review web site.

Another way to help safeguard against infection: fight the knee-jerk reaction to shave your legs before heading to the salon. Because shaving opens your pores and can cause tiny nicks and cuts, your freshly shaven legs are a magnet for infection. The best option is to wait until after your appointment to shave, but at minimum allow a full 24 hours between hair removal and pedicure.

Other tips from the pros: Bring your own instruments to be absolutely sure you’ve got the hygiene covered. Many salons will let regular customers store their own files, clippers, etc. in small, individual boxes or cubes so they’re ready for next time. And logic dictates that the earlier in the day you arrive, the fewer feet will have already sloshed around in your foot basin.

If you’ve had a bad experience with spa hygiene or are otherwise germ-phobic, consider grabbing a girlfriend and some at-home spa products and trade off pampering the other’s piggies. There might not be a massage chair involved, but you won’t need to tip her, either.

The facts of wax

First of all, let’s dispel the notion that fat girls can’t get their business waxed. According to the delightful (and proudly plus-sized!) Daniela of Daniela’s Facial Studio in Chicago, the only thing standing between you and a neatly groomed (or completely bare) nether region is a knowledgeable and experienced esthetician.

If you’ve never had the pleasure, basic bikini-area hair removal involves removing your clothes from the waist down, reclining on a waxing bench or bed, and going to your happy place for 15-45 minutes while the esthetician uses either soft wax, hard wax or a combo to remove as much of the hair as you’ve requested. Some girls opt to just clean up the areas not covered by their favorite undies or bathing suit, some ask to have their pubic hair sculpted into designs, and others go for the full Brazilian, which removes even the smallest fuzz from your inner/outer labia and — yes — the area between your cheeks.

Depending on the location and your preferred look, you may be given a disposable paper thong to wear in order to provide guidance for your esthetician. Daniela estimates the elastic waist in an average paper thong accommodates a size 20/22; if you’re worried it won’t fit, bring a cheapie thong along and pitch it at the end of your session.

Heated soft wax is smoothed on with a spatula or tongue depressor, then removed with strips of paper/fabric. Hard wax adheres only to hair, not to skin, which makes it preferable for use on delicate inner bits. While currently very trendy, an all-hard-wax removal is more expensive and takes much longer. Tweezers are sometimes used for cleaning up remaining stray hairs.

In the hands of an experienced esthetician, Daniela insists, “The majority of people say, ‘that didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.’” She recommends taking two Ibuprofen about 30 minutes before your appointment and trying to avoid scheduling during times when you’ll be more stressed, because skin clenches the hair more tightly when you’re nervous. “They make a big deal about [the pain] on TV. That really pisses me off.”

Still, big girls do need to be handled with care

“With overweight clients, there’s a much higher incidence of ingrown hairs or chafing, even if your thighs don’t rub together. Chafing holds onto wax for dear life,” Daniela explains. Because it can be difficult to remove wax from chafed areas, a provider without experience working on larger women could panic and not know how to handle the situation. Additionally, heavier clients tend to perspire more before and during a session, and skin must be very dry for successful removal. Daniela is adamant on this point: “If you call a salon and they say they don’t use — and reapply — powder before [soft]-waxing each section, I would go somewhere else.”

Hair removal is all about making the skin as taut as possible – even if it doesn’t come through the door that way. Since most of us have areas of stretched-out skin from weight loss, weight gain or pregnancy, this means you should expect to be an active participant in your hair removal – holding skin tight, lifting a hanging stomach, pulling your thigh aside, etc.

“I’ll have clients hold everything,” Daniela says. “Sometimes I’ll have them hold [a section] one way while I’m pulling the other way, just to get the skin as tight as possible. The more [an esthetician] holds and asks you to hold, the better the job will be.” Daniela swears this is the key to effective waxing that doesn’t leave you sore or purple afterward.

A matter of trust

So how do you locate a trustworthy provider in your area? When you don’t have your own experience to draw on, Daniela says, “The best thing to do is rely on advice from a friend or consumer reviews from sites like Yelp, Citysearch or Insider Pages.” Also, while there are obviously exceptions to the rule, larger salons or chains frequently hire recent graduates. If an esthetician isn’t yet seasoned enough to have experience working with multiple body types, Daniela cautions, “You can easily have a situation where that person has no idea what to do. They need to know where to pull and what to hold.”

Before you book an appointment, check out Daniela’s preparation advice and don’t hesitate to ask to speak to the esthetician and clarify any points that worry you. Ask what type of wax they use. If it’s a larger salon, inquire whether they have robes in extended sizes (Thousand Waves doesn’t wax, but their robe sizes extend to 2X). And if you’re considering an all-bare look, don’t shy away from asking one of the most frequent questions I’ve heard: “Will they ask me to get on all-fours?” (For the record, Daniela’s answer surprised me! ) “I don’t do it that way, ” she chuckles. “I have them lift the leg as far back as it will go, or lie on their tummy and spread their cheeks apart.”

Wow. Don’t say we won’t go to any length to get you girls the real deal on any topic. On that note, ladies, go forth and spa!

Share your spa experiences – good, bad, ugly, or beautiful – in the comments. Still have hair-removal questions? Post them in comments and Daniela will tackle them individually.

Image from a Cornell University Library collection (circa 1920), demonstrating correct posture

If we had a dollar for every time someone ordered us to stand up straight, we could probably treat our girlfriends to a round of caramel macchiatos at Starbucks. Turns out the straight-backed drill sergeants in our lives were on to something, since poor posture can lead to a host of physical problems – from misalignment to pain. Bad posture also feels yucky, and let’s be honest: it doesn’t look all that great, either. The extra pounds we carry coupled with today’s increasingly sedentary and stressed-out lifestyles means we fat girls need to pay extra attention to this issue. Good thing we spoke to a few experts skilled in several disciplines, who give it to us (ahem) straight on how to regain and maintain great posture.

“Many people predominately drag their bodies and lead with their heads,” says Liz Weaver, a martial arts instructor and founder of BreakPal.com, a  site dedicated to “workplace wellness” through better body positioning. While we’re naturally supposed to walk from the heel of the foot to the ball of the foot, many of us walk head first with our backsides sticking out. “This wears out your lower back because it’s in an unnatural position,” she says.

Ginger Garner, a physical therapist and founder of Professional Yoga Therapy Studies, sees similar imbalances in her female-focused practice, along with sloping shoulders, weak upper back muscles, tight chest muscles, and excessive rounding of the upper back. “These problems can be caused by ‘occupational  hazards,’ from ill-fitting desks or chairs at work to carrying or nursing children to everyday tasks like housework,” she says. When you add extra pounds to the mix, a few unique problems crop up, such as excess sway in the lower back and strain on the upper back due to larger breasts. “You have to work harder – against a heavier body – to correct and keep good posture,” she says.

The good news is, absent any structural problems or medical conditions (check with your doc if you’re at all unsure about making any new moves) you can improve your posture relatively quickly by switching out some bad habits for better ones. Personal trainer Elena Ciccotelli (aka TrainerDiva) knows all about forming good habits in her work with clients. “It takes your body about 300 repetitions to form a new skill, and about 5,000 repetitions to reformulate a skill,” she says. “This explains why it takes such a long time to break bad habits, so be patient in your quest for better posture. It’s completely possible to transform slouchy shoulders into sexy, confident shoulders with a lot of practice.” And once you’re there, “good posture is actually easier to maintain than bad posture,” says Garner.

“I use the term ‘body geometry’ to help my clients visualize their best posture, the position that will have them feeling their best throughout the day,” says Christine Binnendyk, a master Pilates trainer at the Nike World Headquarters and author of the forthcoming book Ageless Pilates:

Imagine a rectangle over your torso. Your shoulders should line up to form the top edge; your hipbones line up to form the bottom edge. If one hip rides up, it’ll displace the shoulder on the same side. If your right shoulder rides up, you’ll shift your left leg out to counterbalance that shift. Over time, these little changes and counterbalances add up to major energy drain. Level out your rectangle, and you’ll be better balanced and more energetic.

“Good posture has nothing to do with pulling the shoulders back,” says Garner, who suggests another simple way of thinking about – and correcting – how we stand. The key, she says, is “engaging the transverse abdominis (TA) muscles by drawing your belly button into your spine without moving the spine and drawing the shoulders slightly down and shoulder blades down into a V-like shape. This will help engage the proper stabilizing muscles of the spine.”

“Posture is about body awareness, which means just being mindful of your body,” says Weaver. “Just pay attention when you’re really into a project, and listen to what your body is telling you. If you have pain in an area of your body, it’s trying to tell you something.”

Here, we share some common posture problems and our experts’ tweaks. Keep in mind that you know your body best, so avoid any new moves that don’t feel right from the start, and check with your health care provider, both to rule out any structural or medical causes of poor posture, including scoliosis, and to get suggestions on an appropriate posture expert for your needs, which may include a chiropractor, physical therapist, or other professional.

If you sit all day

Strengthen the legs

Girls, are you sitting down? Of course you are – everybody is nowadays, whether at work or surfing the ‘net or watching TV at home. But wait till you hear this: “People who spend the better part of their days sitting end up with weaker leg and glute (butt) muscles,” says martial arts instructor Warner. “But those muscles are there for a reason, and they’re bigger for a reason: to work harder and to do bigger jobs.” Yes, you heard it here first: we’re supposed to have strong, muscular legs and glutes! (Take that, mass media ideals!)

Warner suggests practicing the “horse stance,” (here’s a video demo by Warner, with an added Tai Chi breathing technique, and here’s a detailed written explanation to help you visualize it). “Your legs and glutes will start to burn right away, and that’s how you know you’re doing it right,” she says. Warner suggests getting up and doing the horse stance every 30 minutes if you work in an office, for about 60 seconds, shaking your legs and walking around afterward (don’t overdo it, of course, depending on your fitness level). You can do the horse stance at the kitchen counter while cooking or get up and do it during television commercials each evening. “A 60-second interval a few times a day will make a tremendous difference,” she says.

Support your core

Ciccotelli recommends an isometric, or static move called the plank (here’s a video demo). By holding your body in this position (while remembering to breathe, since the tendency is to clench and hold the breath), your body is engaged by working to hold you off the floor. She suggests starting with 10 seconds and working up to 30 seconds at a time. If your lower back hurts in this position, lift your pelvis toward the ceiling so your body creates a V. As your abs and back become stronger it will become easier to position yourself in a straighter line.

Find your ideal chair

“Because we spend so many hours working, which in our society now includes a lot of time sitting, a good office chair is essential,” says yoga therapist Garner. “Good” doesn’t have to mean dropping a grand on an Aeron chair, however; finding a chair that fits you and your computer setup is what matters.

Garner’s tips for finding the perfect chair:

*The feet should reach the floor, or you can place a footstool under the chair so your feet are completely supported
*The chair should not have a solid low back support – good chairs will actually have an adjustable back rest that moves up and down or a cut out where the buttocks can stick out through the cutout – hence providing the proper curve for low back support
*Forget the arm rests–you don’t need them. Save yourself $50 or more and don’t bother with them, unless you are actually going to sit in the chair, rest your arms on them, and do nothing at all.
*Look for a short seat pan (where you rest your bum). It’s usually too deep for women of average height (meaning less than 5’7”). This will prevent problems like sciatica, which is common for smaller women who get stuck in typical corporate chairs built for men.

After reviewing “literally thousands” of chairs online, Garner found her perfect chair for 70 dollars. “It has a padded backrest and seat pan, adjustable height for workstations of different height or different work requirements, a “cut out” for the bum, and a short seat pan (it’s a stool, so it’s actually round!)”

Ciccotelli suggests using a stability ball instead of a chair “as often as possible to improve your overall balance, stability, and posture.” Just be sure to find one you can sit on comfortably without rolling off.

Work your upper body with Pilates at your desk

Dumbwaiter: “If your shoulders droop a bit forward, Dumbwaiter is for you. Sit or stand tall; glue your elbows to your ribcage with your palms facing up. Keep your elbows at your sides as you rotate the arms outward, like you’re serving a drink to people on either side of you. This move draws your shoulder blades together, while opening your chest.”

Wings: “Do you hike your shoulder up whenever you’re reaching for something? Wings is for you. Set yourself up like dumbwaiter, but with your palms facing down. Keep your shoulders low as you float your elbows wide — it’ll seem like you’re flapping imaginary wings. This move loosens up the muscles aroung your shoulder blades, allowing you to reach your arms more comfortably. It helps in eliminating neck tension and shoulder strain.”

Behind the wheel

Yet another way in which we sit all day, for many of us while driving to and from work. “Pretend your shoulders are pinned to the seat,” says TrainerDiva Ciccotelli.

Take it easy while texting

“Many people don’t realize there is a strong connection between neck posture and back posture,” says Ciccotelli. Even slightly leaning your head forward for long periods can negatively impact posture (by causing rounded shoulders and improper trunk stabilization). Unfortunately, this is exactly the head position most people use while texting, so she suggests keeping your head up the next time your mobile device dings.

One easy way to lighten your load

Keep only essential items in your purse; who wants to look like a bag lady, anyway? If you simply must lug everything with you, Binnendyk suggests a messenger-style bag that crosses the body, or splitting your belongings into two bags while traveling to balance the weight evenly. “If you need to lean, it’s time to purge,” she says.

The Well-Endowed Pain in the Neck

“Every gift comes with a bit of salt, doesn’t it?” says Binnendyk. Sometimes, large breasts come with neck and back pain, so a proper bra fitting is essential. “Well-placed straps in a good foundation garment will make a world of difference,” she says, adding that sexy bras are fine for a night out or a romp around the bedroom, but stick to functional comfort the rest of the time. “Think about it this way,” she adds. “If the girls are riding higher, it’s easier to stand up straight. The less forward lean that you have, the less back and neck pain you’ll feel.” After bra shopping, try the Dumbwaiter and Wings Pilates techniques 3-4 times per week.

Designer Monif Clarke knows a thing or two about dressing up our curves

Dear FGG,

HELP! I always have a hard time finding tops and dresses to fit my large chest. By the time I actually find something that fits me on top, I’m swimming in it on the bottom. I’m desperate for tips on what styles to wear!

I learned the hard way that dressing my pear-shaped bod in baggy, straight tops made me look like this, so it took some trial and error to find clothes that flattered my body type. But even on my biggest, non-pregnant days, I maybe make it  into a C cup, so I turned to an expert to help us answer this question: Monif Clarke, CEO and Designer at Manhattan-based Monif C. Plus Sizes

FGG: What are some common fashion mistakes you see large-chested women make?

MC: I am large-chested myself and I think the biggest mistake we make is not wearing the right size bra. Sometimes women come into my plus size boutique in New York, and when I take a look at their bra that they got for $20 at their local mall, I tell them it’s so important to invest the money to go to a bra shop, get fitted, and buy the right size bra. [FGG here: I've had great luck with Nordstrom for personalized bra fittings]

FGG: How important is a good bra, and can you suggest any brands to our readers?

MC: A good bra is very important because it will improve posture, make your clothes look nicer, and help alleviate the additional weight from our large chests. I don’t have any particular brands I love, but I do shop quite a bit at bravissimo.com. [FGG here: Readers, if you have any faves, we want to hear from you in the comments on this one!]

FGG: What should busty girls look for in tops and dresses that will fit and flatter their curves?

MC: I think that we look great in wrap tops and dresses, and V-necks are universally flattering. Often when women are large-chested, the chest pushes out the dress/top, which can make her look like she has no waist or hips. I think it’s important to look for dresses with empire waists and wraps to highlight your waist. Also, short jackets with curved seams are great to pull in our figure at the waist.

FGG: Do any fashion lines – from budget buys at Wal Mart to high-end couture – really “get it” in terms of fitting bigger breasted women?

MC: As a large chested woman, I’ve never really felt too limited to stick to particular brands for clothes. I think rather you want to look at an entire line of clothing and figure out what pieces you can pick out of the line to highlight your curves. For example, when I shop, I usually look for fitted dresses or fitted tops to wear with A-line skirts. I try to minimize volume on the top half of my body and concentrate it in the lower part of my body to avoid looking bigger on top.

FGG: Anything else you’d like to add?

MC: There are more options than ever for large-chested women to find bras that are pretty and supportive, and many more options for clothes out there, but we have to be willing to seek out these options. When designing clothes for Monif C. Plus Sizes, I always make it a point to pay attention to necklines as well as things like the width of shoulder straps on a dress, so I can know it can universally work for all women. We recently expanded our product line and are now designing plus size swimwear for sizes 14 – 24. One of the main features of the swim suits are halter neck ties, which work especially well for large-chested women because they help to “hoist” up the girls in the swimsuits.

Thanks for your insights, Monif, and for creating such vibrant, fun, and fashionable clothing in our size! Readers, we know we’ll be hearing from you on this topic because you always seem to know the best places to find fashion that actually fits our figures. Share your favorite finds and tips in the comments.