The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Try something that looks fun but makes you nervous. We dare you.
(image by Lori Greig)

This summer, I tried something that terrified me. And I loved it.

Something about surrendering my body to a dark, narrow tube, hurtling downward through twists and turns, only to be unceremoniously ejected and swiftly deposited into the chilly water below freaked me out. Go figure. “I’ll stick to the slower slide, thankyouverymuch,” became my mantra. But my desire for comfort made me uncomfortable; what was I modeling to my kids about trying new things, what would the 18-year-old me have done, and was I missing out on something I’d probably find thrilling? Knowing my battle with desire vs. hesitancy, my husband kept nudging me to try it, then the kids joined in (“If I can do it, you can, Mom!”). I climbed the two flights of stairs to the platform, waved to my family far below, then took a deep breath and pushed off into the darkness.

Was it scary? Yep. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I spent the rest of the afternoon hurrying up the stairs to hit that slide again and again. Nobody pointed and laughed at the big mama behaving like a kid; if anything, I think my joy was infectious. Maybe some other women watching were inspired. Or maybe nobody cared at all and my worries over what others might think were unfounded. (Nobody even noticed me surreptitiously correcting my massive, post-splashdown water wedgie.)

The comfort zone for us bigger girls (remaining indoors with the AC blasting, telling ourselves we can’t do certain activities or wear certain things) can start out as a sacred space where firm boundaries are drawn. But as that zone expands, it can also become an overstuffed cushion ready to absorb our every excuse, the well-worn collection of stories we tell ourselves, like “fat girls can’t ride a horse,” stories that hold us back from really living our lives to the fullest. Think back to the last time you successfully pushed beyond your comfort zone (tango lessons? speed dating? aqua aerobics?) and came out the other side perfectly okay. Sure, there may have been missteps or embarrassing moments, but you lived to tell the tale, right? This guide to summer fun offers suggestions for getting out and trying something new, and we encourage you to come back and tell us how your new experiences went – stumbles, triumphs, wedgies, and all.

Hiking–which is essentially walking in a more rugged, natural setting–is a great activity because it can be as easy or as challenging as you decide to make it and it’s a great beginner’s adventure. Our two-part guide to hot weather hiking (Part 1 here and Part 2 here), plus our guide to hiking in challenging conditions like sand dunes or muddy areas are great starting points. I know heat and humidity, combined with the need to expose more skin, can feel like insurmountable hurdles here. Look for plus-sized workout wear, carry plenty of water, expect to sweat (it’s okay; really!) and start small at first if you’re nervous–many city parks offer plenty of green space for beginners to test their trail legs, and plenty of park and recreation districts offer guided hikes geared toward beginners.

Speaking of city parks, I’ve been taking advantage of our sizable park to ride my bike either early in the morning or after dinner, when the sunlight isn’t as unforgiving (either way, I still wear sweatproof sunscreen). Our guide to cycling, mad love for cruiser bikes and tips on finding plus-size padded bike shorts are helpful starting points if you’ve been itching to travel on two wheels but not sure where to start. If you’re worried about deflating the tires on your bike, we’ve tackled this issue, too (you won’t).

If getting on the water is on your life list, our guides to kayaking, canoeing and surfing should prove tempting. Or maybe taking a cruise is more your speed; you can be as chill and comfortable as you wish, or you can embark on new adventures on board (rock climbing walls, dance lessons) or off (rainforest zipline tours, island exploration). Of course, if you’ve read the FGG About page, you know my suggestion will be to opt for at least one adventure. Perhaps being in the water is your goal but you’ve been avoiding swimsuit shopping; you’ll want to consult our guide to figure-flattering swimwear and best places to find a plus-sized sarong to wrap around your suit, and we recently helped a reader with some ideas on attending a poolside bachelorette party in Vegas (we also have some insights into the daunting prospect of socializing in swimwear).

I know we cover a lot of active ground here at FGG, but I also understand that rest and relaxation are an integral part of enjoying the summer season. I suggest striking a balance between stepping outside of your usual routine and rewarding yourself for doing so. Perhaps a girlfriend getaway is in order (you are TOO worth it!), or it’s time to finally find a hammock that feels comfy and supportive while you swing lazily reading some great fiction featuring plus-sized protagonists. Just remember: too much comfort can be as detrimental to mind, body, and spirit as too much stress. Use the rest of these summer days to push yourself a little bit and try something you think would be fun.

We’ve packed a ton of summer fun into this guide, but we’re always eager to hear your suggestions for guides to activities you’ve been longing to try but aren’t sure where to begin – share your “life list” ideas in comments.

You’re busy. We get that. Catch up here. (Image by thewaltonsare)

Here at FGG, we understand busy lives–nurturing, working, gardening, entertaining, remodeling, traveling, healing, being. We know that everyone’s to-do lists can extend for pages, making us even more grateful for you readers who take the time to visit, read, and comment on this site. True confession time: sometimes, we mark the dozens of posts in our RSS feeds as “read,” despite the brief pain of knowing we’re missing some great stuff from our favorite sites. In that spirit, at the end of each month, we’ll be offering a roundup of what you may have missed or might want to revisit.

Here are some highlights from May:

If it’s late spring where you live, many public swimming pools and water parks opened this past weekend. Our Guide to Figure-flattering Swimwear for plus-size women should prove helpful, along with our Ask FGG entry that tackled sarongs for wider hips – and don’t forget your sweatproof (and waterproof) sunscreen when you hit the pool, girls! If you have a garden party or barbecue to attend, consider bringing these Ricotta & Cream Cheese Stuffed Strawberries – a treat as pretty as it is fresh and tasty. On the more decadent side, these Cupcake Cones make an equally pretty and unique party dessert.

If you’re stressing about attending events where you’re the only big gal there, our thought-provoking Guide to Surviving Social Situations with Skinny Friends might provide a welcome confidence boost. Other feel-fab tips can be found in our Guide to Flattering Hair Cuts for Round Faces and tips on adding sleeves or other cover-ups to sleeveless dresses – or choosing to love your arms just the way they are, per our readers’ suggestions. This month’s Sex and the Single Fat Girl column addressed conflicting feelings that can emerge when stepping out with a date who’s significantly different from you, and It’s A Guy Thing tackled the gulf between media portrayals of women and the reality of today’s plus size population.

To catch up on the rest of FGG during the month of May, check out our archives for more.

Readers, tell us: what was your favorite or most surprising topic from this past month? Coming up: FGG celebrates its first birthday! How do you think we should celebrate?

Even for weddings, my brothers and I don’t really do “traditional”

Chances are it’s happened to you already. Perhaps it was your sister, your best friend or your college roommate. You may have been over-the-moon excited, or you may have agreed with a pasted-on smile and a sinking stomach. Regardless of the circumstances, almost every fat girl will eventually face the question, “Will you stand up in our wedding?”

Having answered “yes” three times so far (2002, 2005 & 2008), I found myself saying “I wish I’d known back then…” several times as this Guide came together. Weddings can bring all kinds of emotions — both happy and bittersweet — to the surface, but for fat girls they also bring the potential stresses of conforming to a dress code, standing for long hours, and appearing in photos that will be kept forever. If that last sentence has you wanting to throw in the taffeta, hold onto your garters and see if our Guide gives you other ideas.

Make the best of your dress

Let’s get this out of the way: Unless you’re attending the Coolest, Most Laid-Back Bride in the History of Time, you’ll likely be asked to wear a dress that wouldn’t be your first choice, or possibly even something you’d wish on your worst enemy. For better or worse, brides sometimes begin planning their weddings with very specific mental images about how everything will look, and bridal party attire often plays a large role. Accept that fact. The sooner you do, the less painful everything else will be.

So, while you may not be determining fashions for the entire wedding party (more power to you if you are – go buy that awesome bride a drink!), some brides will be amenable to a request or suggestion if it’s approached just right. We recommend whittling your bridesmaid dress wish list (Remember: Not. Your. Wedding.) to the one item that’s your absolute deal breaker–and then avoiding the phrase “deal breaker” when you offer feedback. Maybe you know from experience that you’re too busty to pull off strapless without an NC-17 rating. Maybe skirt-and-top separates don’t provide enough coverage in back for you to move comfortably without exposing skin. Or maybe you’re just hoping and praying for a cut that doesn’t wrap your tummy or hips in a death grip. Part of signing on for bridesmaid duty is agreeing to be flexible, but your bride likely wants her ‘maids not to hate her — or at least to look good in photos.

Although the rule of thumb is to begin with a style that flatters the largest bridal party member(s), if your bride’s not a fat girl herself, she may not be hip to this idea… yet. Try to be as honest as possible with her while respecting her role as decision maker. (This part is especially important if she’s leaning toward a dress that doesn’t come in your size.) Offer to shop or pore over endless bridal mags with her (either in person or online). Show her some fabulous options that are fat-girl friendly and non-frumpy (see below). Share photos from a gorgeous wedding you attended where each bridesmaid selected her own dress in a color of the bride’s choosing.

If, despite your best efforts, the mandate is a dress you just can’t live with, the decision becomes yours. You can grin and bear it (and never, ever look at the photos) or politely decline. Both choices have their repercussions; follow your gut to decide which one is right for you in the long run.

Beyond the butt bow

Let’s assume that you’ve snagged some level of control over your fashion fate — where do you turn now? Fortunately, the world of plus-sized fashion continues to expand by the season, giving prospective bridal parties more flattering options than ever before. Superstores like David’s Bridal offer many dress styles (including separates, which allow you to mix different sizes for top and bottom) in sizes to 26, with some options extending to size 30. Sizes at online retailer Sydney’s Closet range from 0-44, though you’ll pay extra for sizes above 26. Other suggestions include inweddingdress.com (creative styles in sizes 2-26W), PS Bridal (discount online retailer specializing in plus-sized dresses and guaranteed fits, sizes 0-32+), designer Alfred Angelo (carries sizes 0-30W) and TheRoseDress.com (sizes ranging from 0-28 or small-6X, depending on designer). When my brother got married in 2008, my sister-in-law gave us free reign on dress selection. I thanked her profusely, then fell in love with a tea-length green number from IGIGI (see photo), although their bridal party pickings are currently a little slim.

When it comes to fabrics and cuts, remember that stiffer fabrics (satin, taffeta, velvet) don’t drape as nicely as more fluid options (crepe, chiffon, silk) and may add the illusion of more weight to your hips, waistline, etc. Ruffles and excessive pleating will do the same thing. A-line cuts generally flatter most figures and are more forgiving of larger hips and thighs, while interesting necklines or details draw the eye upward and away from your lower half. If you’re busty, be sure the top and straps offer enough support to keep you from spilling out.

Alter before altar

As we learned previously here at FGG, tailors can do wonders for your finished silhouette with a few nips and tucks. Consider enlisting a professional to help you look your best in bridesmaid couture — whether it’s a simple hem job for short girls or something more elaborate like contouring the waist, moving the straps or taking in the bust. The second time I was a bridesmaid (2005), the bride and all three of her attendants were plus-sized. Sizing for the burgundy dress she selected stopped at 24 back then, so we three ‘maids took our gowns to a local seamstress to have them sized more appropriately. In addition to hiking up the skirt a solid five inches for the shortest bridesmaid (yours truly), for two of us that meant adding a panel of fabric to the skirt, which we had wisely included with our purchase. It’s always better to purchase extra fabric at the same time you buy the dress; the odds are better that the color and sheen will more closely match your existing palette. Fair warning: The additional fabric and alterations tacked about $100 onto the price of the dress (thankfully, ours were purchased on sale).

A strong foundation

All the gown-selection care in the world won’t matter if you don’t dress the part underneath. For big girls like us, that may well mean taking one for the team and making peace with your Spanx. In addition to smoothing the line of your hips, tummy and thighs (which will help the fabric drape more smoothly and improve your silhouette for photos), the control provided by shapewear can give you a bit more confidence as you move down the aisle or shake it on the dance floor. I’ve fought a lifelong battle with shapewear but have had genuinely good results with the Spanx Super Power Panties. The top portion comes high enough to enclose my tummy without rolling down, and the legs don’t pinch, chafe or leave impressions, which is a huge relief. They’re pricey ($32) but they smooth the lumps that show on my hips otherwise.

Equally important is a good bra, especially if your dress is strapless or sleeveless. Both Lane Bryant and The Avenue offer convertible bras that can accommodate numerous strap configurations. If you plan to have your dress fitted, be sure to take and wear your convertible bra for the fitting so the tailor can adjust accordingly.

Accessorize your assets

If you get to select your own shoes for the big day, choose a pair that work with your dress but also won’t lead you to cursing under your breath two minutes into the ceremony. Chunkier heels provide more support and stability but don’t always look as cute with formal dresses. Heels make your legs look great, of course, but they also increase the weight-bearing pressure on the balls of your feet and the toes (good time as any to try gel inserts?). Even if you’ve hand-picked your shoes (and especially if you haven’t and are wearing bride-issued heels, sandals, etc.) consider packing a pair of ballet flats to change into for the dancing portion of the reception.

Some brides choose wedding jewelry as the “thank you” gift for their attendants; this is another area where it pays to be respectful but open with your bride; standard necklaces or bracelets may not fit a plus-sized girl’s neck, wrist, etc. My sister-in-law gave us knockoff pashmina shawls in 2008, which I loved. Even if your bridesmaid dress doesn’t include a wrap or shrug, arm-conscious girls can always bring one of their own to don after pictures (or before, with bride’s blessing).

Finally, if you’ve got the cash for it, say “yes” to any pre-wedding mani/pedi or massage pampering. It’s a great way to bond with the other members of the wedding party and the bride (especially if you live far apart), and it will help make you feel pretty, primped and sexy for the day of the wedding. Hair and makeup can be another glamorous treat (sometimes the bride pays, sometimes you do), but be sure you’re using a stylist that your group trusts. I’ll never be able to create the amazing makeup job done by the stylist from my Bridesmaid ’05 stint, but I’ve also seen friends horrified and bawling after a pro makeup job produced drag queen results.

Through it all, a little perspective

Years ago, I was the maid of honor in the wedding of one of my best high school friends. Things were chaotic from the start: She lived in Denver, I lived in Chicago, and the wedding was in Detroit. Truthfully, I had no business holding the MOH title, since her sister did most (okay, all) of the work. I was young, broke, recently un-engaged, and a train wreck of epic proportions. On the morning of the wedding, we all had our hair done at a local salon, and I foolishly turned myself (and my ultra-long, willful hair) over to the care of the stylist without much direction. She suggested an updo that involved knots of some sort; I deferred to her and zoned out. Ninety minutes later, I was sobbing on my mother’s shoulder because my lifeless hair was skinned back from my head, emphasizing all the wrong things about my heaviest-weight-ever features.

Looking back on it now, I wish I could relive that day. Not because I’d do my own hair (though I have ever since) or because I’d ditch the ridiculous white nylons I wore under the dress (yeah, I don’t know), but because my attitude was all wrong. Being asked to stand with someone as they take their vows is an honor and a privilege. True, it often costs us an arm, a leg and a few shreds of our dignity, but it means we’re loved and cherished enough to be in the innermost circle. We’re flattering ourselves if we think all of those eyes are on us during the wedding instead of on the bride and groom. And as a bridesmaid, you only have to “ooh” and “aah” over the photos once or twice, not mount them on your wall.

So I had knots on my head for one day out of my life…who cares? When I look at the one photo I hung from that day, I don’t see the stupid knots or the remains of my tear stains — I see how much Rebekah cared about me and wanted me to be by her side. I’m reminded about how much she still means to me. And I see a friendship worth wearing Spanx for. Hopefully, each of us is lucky enough to have at least one of those friendships in our lifetime.

What are your best bridal party tips and tricks, or your “oh, hell — never again!” bridesmaid stories? Share all the juicy details in comments.

Keep your head above water in aqua class (image by The Udall Legacy Bus Tour)

Exercise and I have never been good friends. Like many fat girls I’ve met over the years, my gym class experiences were always a torment, and I gravitated toward friends who were more likely to pass time playing cards or watching 90210 reruns than starting a pick-up game of basketball or soccer. Between the sweat, the beet-red face, and the fact that every movement was a struggle, most workouts I’ve tackled as an adult have been faced with gritted teeth and an eagle eye on the clock’s second hand. So when I skeptically accompanied a new weight-loss friend to her fitness center several years ago, I expected to grind through my guest-pass meetings with both treadmill and trainer before scampering back to the safety of my couch – or at least my Tae-Bo videos and closed blinds.

The minute we walked into Galter Life Center, however, the smell of pool chlorine greeted me like an old friend. As a direct result of my Pavlovian response to water of any kind, I walked out of the gym that day with a membership contract and began working out regularly. But for some reason, I never set foot in the pool – the very thing that sold me on joining — until last Friday. Years after previously abandoning my membership and gaining back the weight I’d lost, I put every fear and excuse aside and joined my best friend in the pool for my first-ever water aerobics class . . . and it was love at first splash.

Good for what ails you

Unlike land-based exercises where you support your entire body weight (and the accompanying impact on your joints) during your workout, water-based workouts provide cardio, strength and flexibility training opportunities without placing the same stress on your body. The resistance of the water actually increases the effectiveness of the workout while cushioning and supporting your body. A 200-pound woman will burn an average of 360 calories during an hour of water aerobics; for a 300-pound woman that number skyrockets to 540 calories. And because you’re surrounded and supported by the water, there’s no way to fall or land awkwardly during a movement.

Best of all, if sweat is one of your workout nemeses, grab a pool noodle and rejoice: You can’t tell that you’re sweating in the pool, and the water provides a cooling effect. It takes almost nothing for me to get red-faced and overheated, but I flipped, kicked and lunged through the entire routine feeling refreshed even though my heart rate was up and my muscles were warm.

Anything but a beauty contest

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that many water aerobics participants tend to be older or overweight, likely because of the benefits described above. The obvious upside to such a demographic is that no one really stands out. Our class involved approximately 15 participants of varying ages and sizes. My friend and I were definitely the youngest in the pool, but there was no awkwardness, and everyone was too busy focusing on his or her own balance and technique to spend much time watching others. Another perk: once you’re chest-deep in the water, only the instructor can really see your lower body or movements. Unlike some aerobics or step classes I’ve taken where I’ve felt conspicuous because of my weight – despite being fully clothed – this setup didn’t make me feel self-conscious at all.

Look, ma – I’ve got stamina!

Because I’ve managed to get myself into pretty rotten shape, one of my biggest fears was that I wouldn’t be able to complete a full 60-minute class, much less keep up with the pace and the intensity. Sixty minutes on a treadmill or elliptical would kill me. So imagine my surprise when I still had energy, breath and strength left after 20, 40, 50 minutes of water exercise!

Like traditional land-based aerobics, we never did any one movement long enough for me to burn out. Instead, the instructor (who – bonus! – was a down-to-earth woman of about 30, with a normal figure and no ridiculous cheerleader schtick) led us through a variety of alternating sets from her position on the pool deck. Accompanied by her own mix of cardio jams (pretty decent except for that awful “Mambo No. 5”), we warmed up for 10 minutes with marches, kicks in front, kicks to the corner and travels left and right.

When the workout picked up, Instructor Megan was careful to model and remind us of ways to raise or lower the intensity of our movements with each new action. Almost every movement included a variation that allowed for more limited range of movement. Lessons learned: Jumping jacks are easier in the water. Reversing momentum (beginning to walk backward when you’ve previously been traveling forward) is far more challenging than it looks. “Rocking horse” movements are as baffling as they sound. Your butt and hips don’t jiggle when you run or jump underwater. And moving into deeper water will increase the water resistance, and therefore a movement’s level of difficulty.

What surprised me most was that the cardio portion was a breeze compared to the challenge of working with the aqua barbells, which we received about 35 minutes into the hour. Although arm movements like pushing the water out or down had been incorporated all along, the added resistance of holding down the floaty barbells during the same motions was more than I expected. By the time our 15 minutes of barbell work (which included several movements to target the abs while floating with arms to our sides) was completed, I was ready for the 10-minute cool down and stretch. I left the pool feeling tremendously accomplished and my muscles continued to feel nice and well-used for the next 48 hours.

Dress the part

There’s really no way around the fact that water aerobics = swim-friendly attire, which is what kept me from suiting up until now. My approach to swimming tends to involve as much covering as possible. Swim dresses with skirts. Over-sized t-shirts on top. I haven’t owned a skirt-free suit in 15 years. After listening to me make excuses about how the skirt would float up or my girls would pop out for an unapproved guest appearance, my best friend wisely told me to shut up and try on one of her higher-necked, skirt-less suits from Longitude. (I hate it when she’s right.)

The no-frills one-piece I wore to the pool covered my butt and boobs completely, while allowing full range of motion. Best of all, I actually think it was more flattering on me than any of the skirted looks I’ve sported in the past several years. The straps were wide and the neck was high, which is a must if you’re large-chested; you want to be able to focus on your movements and breathing, not about whether you’re over-exposing yourself. If one-piece suits aren’t your thing, a tankini that stays put and allows movement would work well, also. I threw a pair of swim shorts over my tank, but probably would omit them next time, because they bunched up between my legs during the cycling and cross-country skiing motions. Above all, wear what makes you comfortable, confident and able to move freely. And if you’ve got long hair, secure it in a ponytail or pigtails so you’re not messing with it during the workout. (Note: At no point were we asked to put our heads under water.)

Be sweet to your feet

Water may be forgiving on joints and muscles, but you still need to be conscious of your form. Try to avoid spending the whole class standing and landing on the balls of your feet. Not only will using  your whole foot work your muscles more effectively and prevent injury, it’s also less likely to cause calluses and blisters. To minimize irritation from repeated contact with pool tiles and grates, consider purchasing aqua socks; for better stability, upgrade to water shoes.

Don’t be afraid to shop around

Like any type of workout, one size doesn’t always fit all. Most gyms will offer multiple aqua fitness classes to suit different levels of ability and intensity. Some classes focus more on cardio, others on strength conditioning or stretching. Believe it or not, the class I jumped into was a high-intensity class (hello, ego boost!) that the center calls Aqua Blast. (Consider this a road-tested late addition to our Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Superhero!) Several gyms have hopped onto the current Zumba craze and offer Aqua Zumba, water aerobics with a Latin dance flavor.

Whatever class you choose, remember that you control your own tempo and pace. If a movement demonstrated by the instructor is too “big,” you can always adjust to something that feels more comfortable, or just kick your legs or march in place until the next move.

Going rogue

If the local gyms don’t fit your needs, comfort level or checkbook (I’m still turning over couch cushions for change to fund a membership), there may still be a way to get your water aerobics fix. Girls lucky enough to have a pool of their own (or a friend who will share) can create a water routine using imagination and/or resources like DVDs, aqua barbells or weights from retailers such as WaterWorkOut. The same can be done in a community pool or, during the summer, in a lake or other local body of water. Everyday household items like empty milk jugs can be used in place of barbells, or you could just grab a $3 pool noodle and start kicking. Even walking laps during open swim at your local YMCA/YWCA will provide cardio and strength benefits.

As for me, I’m wishing I hadn’t wasted so much time psyching myself out of an activity that feels like such a natural fit for a water-loving girl. Don’t follow in my ‘fraidy cat footsteps, ladies — dip your toe into an activity that you’ve previously only wondered about. It might turn out to be the fitness “aha moment” you’ve been waiting for.

What do you love about water aerobics? Have you wanted to try but held back? Or waded in then decided it wasn’t for you? Tell us in comments.

Image by LizMarie

Seasonal transitions can make heading outdoors to walk or hike downright intimidating: What if it rains? What do I do about mud puddles on the trail? How did I get roped into doing this 5K walk in the park for charity? What’s this snow doing here–I thought it was too late in the year for that! Wherever you’ll be hiking or strolling outdoors, it can be scary worrying about getting wet, being cold, or falling or twisting an ankle. We’ve got good news – it’s possible to hike comfortably in any weather with a little preparation and know-how–read on for some solutions to get you past many of the most common hiking hurdles.

First, get your head in the game.

I’m not much of a sports fan, nor do I play one on TV, but I did marry one. And something I’ve observed while watching heated competitions with my husband is how vital the mental component is to any sport. If a couple of players start looking defeated when they fail to score, you can see it reverberate throughout the team. The most important piece of gear to pack is your brain. I understand the fear of falling, possibly more than many people after breaking my leg slipping on ice. While pregnant. (Good times). Carrying extra pounds can skew our center of gravity and affect how we judge our movements, especially if we haven’t been active in a while and need to recalibrate our responses. Hiking with that knowledge in mind is important, but shouldn’t be a deal-breaker. Based on my own trail-tested trial and error, if you’re taking baby steps and worrying over every ice patch or root hidden under leaves, how much fun will you have? Also, I think if you invite disaster, it’s more likely to get a nasty toe in the door, so whenever possible, be careful but carry an “act as if” attitude that you’re safe and strong and moving with purpose, and you’ll enjoy your experience much more.

Outerwear

We’ve covered hiking wear basics in our Guide to Hot Weather Hiking and the companion  Guide to Cold Weather Hiking (what can we say? We really like hiking, and we cover it here often because just about anyone at any fitness level can do it). To put it simply, dressing for the weather will guarantee a comfortable, and therefore enjoyable, hike. For rainy weather, there are some choices in plus size rain gear, but as usual, the big outdoor retailers like REI don’t seem to offer much. There’s  several to choose from at Land’s End, which ranges up to size 3X, this packable one from Travelsmith goes up to 3X, this one from Woman Within comes in 4X, and I hope you’re sitting down (to lace your hiking boots), because Junonia’s Cloudburst comes in a 6X! As seasons change you can often find steals in colder weather clothing so look for deep discounts on fleece layers – you want a breathable-but-warm fabric that doesn’t stay wet when it gets wet to prevent hypothermia on the trail.

Boots or shoes

This is not the time to stroll outdoors in your 5-year-old Keds. For hiking any distance, particularly on tricky terrain, you’ll want boots or shoes with serious ankle support and soles with a good grip. I’m a fan of trail runners and mid-height hiking boots, and there are ample brands to choose from. I know Keen is good for wider feet, though I haven’t found them to be as sturdy as I’d like (please feel free to correct me here), and I love Montrail for my narrow size 10s. For a truly nerdilicious resource, Backpacker magazine runs an annual Gear Guide every March that’s packed with hiking boot and shoe reviews (worth checking out at your local library or you can order back issues here for $7).

Hiking gear

Depending on the trail conditions, there’s more than one item that can keep you safely on the trail. Like these awesome little workhorses called YakTrax, which attach to the bottom of your boot or shoe to provide traction on slippery surfaces. Trekking (or hiking) poles are another item worth a serious look, but they come with a bit of a learning curve and should never serve as a substitute for carefully planting your feet with every step. What trekking poles can do is take some of the load off your knees during steep inclines and downhills, and they do help stabilize you on uneven ground. Backpacker magazine’s gear editor, Kristen Hostetter, shows how to use hiking poles in this brief video, and good outfitters will offer demos and tips in stores before you buy.

Moves to strengthen your body for hiking

Backpacker magazine has a few “spring training” moves for getting into trail-ready condition (if a full lunge is too much for you right now, check out these excellent alternatives and modifications at the About.com guide to Exercise), and here’s a great article on strengthening ankles at home. And don’t forget to stretch! The Fat Girl’s Guide to Stretching is a great starting point.

Here are some specific tips for navigating tricky terrain:

* Ice and snow - If you’re doing an early spring hike and there’s only a couple of inches of snow to deal with, YakTrax are your friend here. If not, having warm, sturdy, supportive boots will get you through just fine. For deeper snow, snowshoes are a must – check out The Fat Girl’s Guide to Snowshoeing and Cold Weather Hiking for pointers on getting started.

* Rocky, root-filled terrain - Here’s where getting – and keeping – your head in the game is crucial. I just did a hike on a leaf-covered trail with golf-ball-sized rocks and protruding roots. Sure, I stumbled once or twice at first, but I didn’t let the precariousness get the best of me. Wear supportive footwear (this is a case where mid-height to full hiking boots are a good idea), keep a steady pace that feels comfortable for you, and make sure to keep a firm heel-to-toe stride.

* Muddy and slippery, with puddles and wet leaves - If you’re hiking during this time of year, chances are you don’t mind a little mud and water; tread cautiously over any slippery patches. If your boots or shoes aren’t already waterproof or resistant, you can treat them with products like NikWax. Wearing socks made of non-cotton fabrics (like SmartWool or Thorlo will help keep your feet dry if your footwear gets wet.

* Frequent, steep inclines - Here’s where trekking poles can be your friend, but knowing your abilities and limitations is important here, too. Because I have asthma, going higher means I must make frequent stops while ascending steep hills. But for me, hiking is about taking in the scenery and not a race, pausing is a normal and welcome part of any steep hikes I take.

* Stream crossings and/or slippery rocks - This article from the Orange County Register is filled with common sense tips on crossing streams safely – crucial to staying relatively dry and avoiding tragic and often preventable accidents. During springtime, water levels can rise and currents can increase due to runoff from snow melting, so get a really good sense of the current and depth and don’t hesitate turn back if you’re at all unsure of the safety of crossing.

* Sand - Unless there are nasty burrs or goat head stickers (huh? check out this entertaining description) – i.e., smooth sand dunes vs. wild and woolly desert – you can swap the boots/trail runners for rugged (but super-comfy) outdoor sandals like Tevas or Chacos. To keep ankles steady, focus on walking at a comfortable pace instead of hurrying, which leads to stumbling and staggering instead of striding.

Readers, let’s hear it! What’s the trickiest hike you’ve done? How about your favorite hiking gear? Any brands or other resources not mentioned here we should know about? Share them in the comments.

I am . . . tired by thewaltonsare

As a writer with a strong visual side, I’m often drawn to images paired with words, provided they don’t unintentionally veer into SNL parody territory. This week’s photo, plucked from the talented pool of our FGG Girls Flickr Group, hit the mark perfectly: it’s lovely, compelling, and I think we can all relate to the feelings expressed here, including the part about being tired! (For some quick pick-me-ups, check out our Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Superhero).

I strongly believe that the labels we bestow upon ourselves are powerful – whether they’re pragmatic, positive, or negative. Self-talk runs deep, girls: If we tell ourselves we’re unlovable or unworthy or unsuccessful or unlikely to–whatever, really–we’ll probably prove ourselves right. Conversely, if we tell ourselves we’re adorable and lovable and deserving of happiness, I guarantee you we’ll be more likely to find those qualities reflecting back to us. No, whispering nice things to ourselves is not a magic cure-all, and yes, elbow grease is necessary to bring our affirmations to life. But if our labels are bringing us down or no longer serving us, perhaps it’s time to write some new ones and try viewing ourselves in new ways.

How about you, girls? What words would you post beside your own self portrait? Are they descriptive of your roles in life, or do they capture your physical or emotional traits instead? Are there any new ones you could add or old ones that no longer fit (kind of like that skort you just found in your summer clothes bin)? Share your thoughts on self-talk and labels in comments. And if you decide to make your own self-portrait (our Guide to Sexy Self-Portraits contains tips for great selfies of any type) accompanied by words, be sure to share it in our FGG Girls Flickr group!

super gurrl by JamieBates

We’ve all been there: Saturday morning’s long, impatient to-do list competes with the more compelling siren song of a warm blanket and a good book. Or a jam-packed day at the office – complete with a two-hour lunch delay to solve the latest crisis – burns this morning’s stockpile of energy down to embers. Or on the one day you get to sleep in, the kids decide to wake an hour and a half early to place an order for Mickey Mouse pancakes. While everyone faces days that test their endurance, the extra weight (and sometimes the negative self-talk) that fat girls carry in addition to our everyday burdens can make it tough to find an energy boost when we need it. Next time life demands a Superwoman setting, try refueling your energy reserves with one of these techniques.

Move it or lose it

It doesn’t take a physicist to grasp that whole “a body at rest stays at rest” law of motion deal. The more we sit without doing something active, the more inclined we are to. . .  sit without doing something active. So get up, already (this is one of those times when I need to take my own advice). Push back from the cube desk every 30 minutes and walk a lap around the office, fill your water bottle, etc. Set an egg timer and clean like crazy for exactly 10 minutes. Do five of anything resembling a jumping jack. Walk for just five minutes, then assess if you want to continue moving. For many people, the simple act of getting the blood flowing and the heart beating a little faster is all it takes to shake off the afternoon drag.

What’s your cup o’ tea?

When faced with an early morning or tough afternoon, many of us automatically reach for the caffeine boost of coffee or soda. Next time, consider swapping that Diet Coke for a cup of tea, which can provide energizing benefits without dehydrating you or posing caffeine’s risk of addiction. Popular choices include rooibos tea (antioxidant-rich and said to help soothe headaches and muscle aches, as well as improving digestion) and teas made with spearmint (light, refreshing taste and benefits said to include improved digestion and a limiting of excess hair growth on women – bonus!). Check out TeaBenefits.com for ideas about the tea that best suits your health and mood.

DIY mantra

Stuart Smalley had “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” My best friend posts song lyrics or Bible verses on Facebook when she needs to pick herself up or focus. As ridiculous as it sounds, my own “daily affirmation” came from a fortune cookie I received last summer: “You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.” (I figured if a cookie takes the time to call you out in no uncertain terms, it’s probably wise to listen.)

Having a mantra doesn’t have to be boring, trite or sound like a corporate mission statement — it’s simply about identifying what drives you. What’s the motivating force behind your job, your activities, your relationships or your choices? Are you working toward a family? A home? Better health? An established industry name? If you can connect to the root idea of what makes a task important, you may be able to find the reserves to push through it with gusto.

Make like Gumby

Back in November, Tee published the (awesome) Fat Girl’s Guide to Stretching and we learned how easy — and energizing — it could be to incorporate basic stretches into our daily routine. All those expert tips and sage advice? Still true! the important thing to add is that regardless of your lifestyle, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a student, a high-profile corporate exec, or working two jobs to pay rent, simple stretches are a take-anywhere, try-anywhere cure for flagging energy in just a few minutes. You don’t need equipment and you don’t need total privacy (which is more than we can say for the next tip) or intensive training, because moves as simple as neck stretches and shoulder rolls provide big benefits and can be done right from your desk.

Gimme an ‘O!’

We’re no longer in the Victorian age, ladies, so I’m just going to say it: orgasms are good for us. Whether achieved solo or with a partner, the release of endorphins orgasms provide is similar to that of a runner’s high, and the benefits include everything from reduced stress levels to pain management to curbed appetites. Not bad for something that feels great, right?

It may seem counter-intuitive to recommend an activity that provides such deep relaxation (and frequently, sleepiness), but a clear mind and a 20-minute power nap will often do wonders for both attitude and productivity. Plus, not every burst of energy is physical; feeling empowered and energized can just as easily be a mental strategy. How much more confidence and enthusiasm do you project when you feel good about yourself and your body? And what better way to connect with your body’s innate awesomeness than through some, shall we say, quality time and a toe curler (or two)? I rest my case — and ask that you not try this in the office.

It’s essential

Aromatherapy evokes or enhances different moods through scent, either in the form of candles or essential oils. Small amounts of the concentrated oils can be sniffed from a vial or jar, applied to pressure points like the temples, feet, or wrists, or heated in a diffuser to fill a room with fragrance. To revitalize and energize, consider scents like tea tree, mint, basil, lime, cedar, rosewood, ginger and frankincense. Oils and candles are available at retailers like Bath & Body Works, as well as smaller, niche stores and online vendors. Check out AromaWeb for more information.

Pump up the jams

Over dinner last month, my 50-something friend Iris confided the secret of her recent weight loss and sudden take-no-prisoners approach to life: Quite simply, she got a new attitude. “It’s Patti LaBelle,” she said with a grin. “I get on my treadmill and as soon as ‘New Attitude’ comes on, I’m ready to rock!”

Whether your own musical magic trick is an “anthem song” like Iris’s, or just a tune that takes you to a particularly confident, empowered time and place, music is a powerful tool – so make it work for you when you need it most. Flood your headphones with the iPod mix of songs that always gets your blood pumping (mine always includes “Hazy Shade of Winter” by The Bangles). Or choose a song with lyrics that speak to your mood and blast it while you work, cook, drive, fold laundry, or just sing at the top of your lungs.

Judge if you will, but all it takes is the opening pulse of Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” to remind me of the 4 a.m. lakefront reality check/pep talk delivered by a dear friend last summer. In a moment of flagging confidence and confusion about the future, he helped me cut through my fears and self sabotage as Gaga wailed and waves crashed in the background. A year later, I still play that song when I need a reminder that Mike was right and everything’s “gonna be okay. . . (just dance).”

Regis, I’d like to phone a friend

If you’ve read this far, you may have noticed that I frequently mention my friends when I write–they’re my extended (and surrogate) family and, often, my inspiration. Our friends are able to see the amazing qualities we possess but can’t always acknowledge in ourselves. So it stands to reason that these are the same people who may have a motivating trick or two up their sleeves when we’re feeling drained. Reaching out to a friend via phone, text or e-mail takes only moments, but the belly laugh or the calibration with your truest self that s/he provides may be what you need to feel rejuvenated.

How do you stay energized? Where do you turn for an energy boost when you most need it? Tell us in comments.