The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Photo by Midnighteskye

**Be sure to read today’s entire post for the results of our Eden Fantasys Giveaway**

We have several new photos and members in our FGG Girls Flickr Group (welcome, girls!). This image by Midnightskye caught my eye when I visited the group recently (where we have a great discussion going about photo post-processing basics if you have any tips and tricks to share).

I thought, “She looks like me!” when I clicked over to view the photo. The description says, “I know I have stretch marks, I’m a big girl, I was going to edit them, but they are a part of who I am.” Yesssss! That’s the attitude we strive for here at FGG. But even Tee and I aren’t “all moxie, all the time” (though we do strive for “most of the time”).

I have always been self-conscious of my stretch marks, and I think seeing someone put them out there with neither apology nor shame tugged hard at the pull chain to my light bulb. I immediately recalled a favorite quote, which comes from the brilliant television show The Wire, when Walon (played by the awesome Steve Earle) says to Bubbles (played by “Why does this man not have an Emmy for his performance on The Wire?!?” Andre Royo):

Shame ain’t worth as much as you think. Let it go.

I may have fallen out of my chair when I heard that line, because I’ve felt ashamed of my body since hitting puberty. I started dieting at an age (12) and size (5) where I had no business doing so, because all of the girls and women around me were starving and hating on themselves, including my mother. It’s really only been over the past year or so that I’ve started actively working to appreciate my physical self, stretch marks and all – including ditching the little self-deprecating remarks about every self-perceived flaw. Because those “flaws” are indeed a part of who I am. I’m even putting myself out there more than ever this year by doing a year of self portraits – some candid, some artful – as a way of taking my self back. I might even muster the courage to strike a pose like Midnighteskye some time in 2010 (sorry, Mom!).

What about you? I know that body shame is not the sole province of fat girls (my skinny friends worry over their post-baby stretch marks, forty-something crow’s feet and southern-facing breasts, too), and many of you simply adore your curvy selves. But for those of you struggling with shame in any area of your lives, can you get inspired to put yourself out there more this week and drop-kick shame to the curb? I challenge you do to ONE THING this week that nudges you to “let it go.” Post a photo that represents this act to the FGG Girls Flickr Group or post a comment telling us how you did.

Special Announcement! We have a winner of our Eden Fantasys giveaway! Our random drawing from commenters who mentioned chocolate is Fat Nurse! Congratulations, girl! You are the lucky owner of the “Better Than Chocolate” clitoral vibrator (now there’s a phrase I never envisioned writing in my career). Tee has emailed you so we can send it your way. Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who played along!

Who you callin’ fat by Jamie Bates

Choosing this month’s photo challenge winner was tough because so many new and colorful photos landed in our FGG Girls photo group. Jamie’s image (above) is December’s winning photo because of her distinctive, electrifying, and inspiring self portraiture style. Congrats, Jamie! Send us your mailing address and we’ll send you a prize.

If you can’t relate to the sentiment expressed in this photo, we might have to revoke your honorary fat girl card and boot you from the clubhouse. Okay, we’re kidding, but we know that struggles with the scale can be epic for women of every size, and that’s what made this photo as evocative as it is funny. And while not everyone worries about this issue, however you feel about weighing yourself (or not), it’s sometimes easy to forget that there’s so much more to us than our waist size or weight. Taking racy, playful, or soft self portraits – or having a friend or professional photographer take quality photos of us – is a great way to capture and celebrate who we are now.

If you saw our Mid-Week Mini Challenge from last week, we’re extending it by 24 hours, because 01.01.10 is such a tantalizing kick-off date for a creative self portraiture challenge.

Here’s the scoop:

Join a Flickr self-portrait project group like 52 Weeks or 365 Days, upload your first self-portrait, then commit to at least one self-portrait each week for a year. When you’ve joined the group and added your photo (which should be taken just for this project), come back here and link to that photo in comments, which then enters you to win the mini-challenge mystery prize. Deadline: 11:59 p.m. (PST) on January 1, 2010, and the winner will be chosen at random on January 2.

I’m having another go at 365 Days of self portraits (my first 365 was in 2007), but of course *I* can’t enter to win the prize. We welcome other takers, however, so show us what you’ve got, girls!

This week’s Photo of the Week is a contribution to our first photo challenge, “self reflections.” EmilyGoodstein posted this cool shot to our FGG Girls Flickr Group. I think it’s a great example of the many ways we can creatively capture our reflected selves – and maybe get to know ourselves a bit better. I really loved the sexy, sassy pose and the framing in the corridor/entry, and even how the flash made a cool effect in the reflection. Thanks for playing along, Emily!

It’s not too late to join the fun – these photo challenges will remain open until we post a new one. Join the FGG Girls Flickr Group and we might feature your contributions as a Photo of the Week!