The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Image taken moments before my kids snapped them up

When a couple of my friends were diagnosed with dairy allergies and lactose intolerance, it made me think differently about how I shopped–what would I do if I couldn’t just casually reach for a container of Kefir, crumbled feta cheese for my lunchtime salads, or (hold me) ice cream for special occasions? With this non-dairy dilemma in mind, I spotted these little gems in the frozen novelty section of our grocery store and decided to give them a try.

The verdict: YUM. But only if you like coconut (my husband voted no, but one non-coconut-loving kid voted yes–both said the flavor was subtle) and don’t mind smaller portion sizes. I’m not a fan of the 100-calorie pack trend, not just because of the premium we pay for additional packaging both environmentally and economically, but because so many diet-oriented foods simply don’t taste good. Bottom line: I’d rather have a smaller portion of something delicious–maybe even decadent–that’s prepared with fresh ingredients and care than something that tastes and feels like a consolation prize. These cool treats fit that bill nicely, with the added bonus of being healthier than ice cream.

So Delicious does make vanilla sandwiches made with soy milk (including full-sized), but in my opinion they’re not as flavorful. I haven’t tried the Neapolitan variety, but they look fun (let us know if you have and what you think!). For those avoiding dairy and soy, Turtle Mountain also makes a So Delicious coconut milk yogurt (on my “to try” list) and even Kefir (also on that list). It’s exciting to see options like this out there for those of us who either can’t have or want to scale back on dairy products for a more varied diet.

Girls, tell us: have you found any delicious work-arounds for your dietary restrictions? Tell us about them in the comments section.

Squeeze every bit of fun into your amusement park trip (Great America photo booth ca. 1998)

Until I was 14, I was terrified of roller coasters.

Per longstanding tradition, our 8th grade class trip took place at Sandusky, OH-based Cedar Point. It was 1990 and the Magnum had just debuted. The sleek, orange monster boasted a 204-foot plunge at an angle of 60 degrees. Obviously, it was the only thing anyone cared about riding . . . with one very notable exception. While my friends racked up run after run on the coaster, I held people’s bags, wandered off with a random girl from my class to get lunch, and rode less stomach-turning attractions like the Scrambler and the Swings.

The kicker is that I wasn’t even fat back then. Certainly I weighed more than most of the girls in my class (and those extra 20 pounds may as well have been 200 in my mind). But what kept me off the Magnum wasn’t weight — it was just plain old fear. The following spring, goaded by my friends to the point of capitulation, I boarded the orange nemesis and screamed my head off during the famous drop . . . and I absolutely loved it. After that, some kind of adrenaline switch flipped inside of me and there wasn’t a ride in any park I wouldn’t try.

Viewing the photo at the top of this post — college friends all crammed into one of the photo booths that line the midway of every good theme park — actually makes me sad, because that was my last trip to coaster-ville. One thing or another has derailed every planned trip for more than a decade, until I’ve found myself asking the proverbial fat girl question: “Am I too fat for the rides?” This question is followed by its slightly less painful siblings, “Can I do all that walking?” and “Girl, don’t you remember how badly water-ride-soaked pants can chafe?”

For every overweight girl who’s asked herself the same questions, let’s see what we can figure out . . .

Plus-size amusement ride restriction policies

Given the highly publicized incident at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, where park staff turned away overweight patrons from one ride, theme park ride passenger size has garnered more attention than usual lately. And the very blunt truth is that for overweight patrons, it makes sense to review the park’s guidelines and ride restrictions before buying tickets or — worse — getting to the front of the hour-long Superman: Ultimate Flight queue and being turned away. Beyond just a weight restriction, many rides — certainly more than I remember! — now carry size restrictions based on the restraint harness or bars that hold passengers in place. Ultimately, the park needs to ensure the safety of all riders. So what’s the best way to inform yourself before your next visit?

Most parks provide at least some information on their Web sites regarding ride restrictions, although the verbiage is often vague or focused around minimum rider height. Cedar Point has gone the total transparency route by publicizing policies for passengers of “exceptional size” (including women weighing more than 200 pounds, or individuals taller than 6’2), as well as how the guidelines affect prospective riders on individual attractions.

To give real-world context to the online information, you can review other park-goers’ experiences on boards like Theme Park Insider, Coaster Critic and Theme Park Review. And overweight lifestyle blog GrandStyle offers an impressive round-up of ride logistics and plus-size park patron experiences from around the country.

Some parks have opted to take the proactive approach one step further by placing actual-size “test seats” along the queue lines for various attractions. Theoretically, this measure allows passengers whose size might not be compatible with the ride to self select out of the line, saving embarrassment for both passenger and park employee when it’s time to board.

And yet, it’s not as though the 19-year-old ride attendant is standing there with a scale or a measuring tape to disprove your ride eligibility. On my last visit to Six Flags Great America, I rode every single coaster and thrill ride in the park without issue. I weighed 240 pounds. Some of the harnesses were on their last click, perhaps, and my hips have never wanted to fit neatly into any ride seat. Despite these logistics, the only true moment of discomfort was while straddling the seat portion of a standing coaster, something my ridiculously short legs were never meant to do. As with the two-seat policy employed by many airlines, enforcement seems to be hit-and-miss, and patrons are left to the honor system to gauge their own ride eligibility, unless questioned by an attendant. Would I still have boarded the Wave Swinger, had I known about its 230-pound weight limit? Probably. Would I recommend the same action to a friend? Good question.

Finding theme park excitement at any size

Whether you’re coaster-phobic, skeptical about size restrictions, or just not a fan of motion sickness, there are still plenty of ways to enjoy yourself at a theme park if you’re not crazy about the rides. We’ve already established that photo booths are one of my favorite things on earth, but the midway is packed with other beckoning diversions. Duck out of the hot sun and into a theater for a show. Issue an epic skee-ball throwdown in the arcade. Channel your inner hussy and pose for some old-time photos in western barroom garb. Challenge your kids to some no-holds-barred bumper cars. Or be the people screeching off-key Spice Girls songs in the recording booth as onlookers shake their heads. (As someone who has witnessed a friend’s park-recorded “Kokomo” video from 1989, I cannot emphasize strongly enough the potential for hilarity here.)

The upshot is that there’s plenty to do, even if you’re feeling like the tag-along to friends (or kids) who are much more excited about thrill rides than you are. Coasters get the glory, but they’re just the tip of the amusement park iceberg.

Managing dietary restrictions at the park

When it comes to theme park meals and snacks, these days you can go as healthy or as indulgent as you choose. While the traditional midway fare (hot dogs, nachos, ice cream, fries, you know the drill) still holds court in parks nationwide, there’s a strong push to bring healthier, more wholesome choices into the mix — and to make options like water and fresh fruit accessible. When possible, check out the park restaurants online before visiting, so you know which area of the grounds will be the best bet for your ideal meal. Or, fill some lunch box coolers with your favorite munchies and eat your meals picnic-style (check the website of your park to make sure outside food and drink are permitted).

Remember that you’ll pay excessive park prices for everything from Diet Coke to a simple chicken sandwich. Combine that fact with the importance of staying hydrated, and it’s clear that a refillable water bottle is a must-have. Instead of dropping $3 every few hours, you’ll stay cool and flush by simply cruising past a drinking fountain.

Dressing for all-day comfort at the park

Let’s start with the obvious: You’ll be covering a lot of ground during your theme park adventure, so wear shoes that fit and provide long-lasting support. This isn’t the time to break in a cute pair of sandals, ladies; you’ll be hobbled with blisters before lunch. Beyond the comfy shoes approach, pack an extra pair of socks (two, and an extra pair of shoes if you plan to hit the water rides) for later in the day. You can always stash a bag with your extra gear in a rental locker.

When it comes to clothing, the two most important factors are weather and water. Protect yourself from all-day sun exposure with a water-proof, sweat-proof sunblock; don’t forget to apply even to your hair part if you don’t plan to wear a hat. And if you’re lulled by the water rides, either choose clothing that dries easily or pack an extra set for after the splashing good times. (Seriously, denim weighs about 10 times more when it’s wet.) A hot, sweaty day at the theme park is bound to bring out the chafing, so have your favorite remedy in place.

Theme parks can be a great place to face your fears (of heights. . . of crowds. . . of food on a stick. . .) if you let yourself give in and enjoy wherever the day takes you. At the end of the day, when your feet are sore and your throat is raw from screaming (either on a coaster or at the sugar-buzzed kids), hopefully the park experience will have been one to remember — even if you hope your own photographic evidence never surfaces on a blog a dozen years later.

Have you been to an amusement park recently? Tell us how you made it a fabulous experience — or what you’d do differently next time.

The most gifted green thumb I know (Photo by Holly Mason)

All the green-thumbed ladies! (All the green-thumbed ladies. . .) Now put your trowels up!

Apologies, readers, as I’m working through a bit of a Beyoncé earworm today. But it’s the perfect time of year to crank up a favorite tune on your iPod and get outside to soak up the blue sky, sunshine and smell of the grass growing right under your feet. For girls with the aforementioned green thumbs (regretfully, I cannot count myself among you, since I can kill even a fake plant in two days or less), the season is also ripe for planting, weeding and all manner of earthy things that make me glad I live in a big-city apartment.

Overweight women sometimes struggle with activities like gardening because of joint problems, discomfort sitting or kneeling on the ground, or challenges lowering themselves down to dirt level and standing back up again without good leverage. And yet, many women appreciate the therapeutic nature of gardening — not to mention being surrounded by colorful blooms and enjoying the fruits (and vegetables) of their  home-grown labors. As always, we at FGG cringe at the idea of putting off the things we love because of challenges in mobility or logistics — so consider today’s guide our love letter to each of you earth mamas who are ready get digging in the dirt, already!

Comfortable gardening apparel for plus sizes

While most women will agree that the garden isn’t the place for a fashion show, dressing for the elements is important. Footwear and gloves that protect from injury are a must — especially when handling chemical products (like enriched fertilizers) or thorny/prickly plants, or when working in soil that may contain sharp objects or recycled glass mulch. Before you reach for your Crocs, remember that although they’re ridiculously comfortable, water-friendly and accommodating for wider feet, they’re made from lightweight material that can be easily punctured by sharp objects. And depending on where you’re working, turning all of that soil can unearth errant nails, broken glass, sharp sticks, etc. Consider a tougher, more resilient shoe like a thick-soled clog or some waterproof galoshes — and don’t be afraid to get colorful. The Original Muck Boot Company offers durable, flexible and weatherproof clogs, boots and shoes in women’s sizes 4-13 (we liked the pink houndstooth and plum vine designs). Wide openings for tucking in pants can also be godsends for plus-size women with wide calves. The spring green cheerfulness of this pair from Sloggers (up to size 10) was almost enough to make me want to grab a Garden Weasel. Other fun finds include the Ladybug Clogs from Ranger (available in sizes 5-11 and in basic colors or bright, outdoorsy designs).

When it comes to gardening gloves, women with larger hands have lots of options for digging in safety and style. If your hands or joints are sensitive, a pair of ergonomic gloves in sizes S-XL, while pricey ($37.99), may be worth the investment. For a more festive day in the yard, Mud Gloves® come in loads of bright, fun colors and sizes from XS-XL. Plus, the breathability and coated palm and fingers for gripping traction are paired with features like UV protection and aloe moisturizers. Ultimately, selecting the right type of gardening glove is more important than the pretty design, so make sure you take into consideration the work you’ll be doing. You’ll want a different glove for handling poisonous plants or chemicals (choose Neoprene) than you will for rough yard work like extreme pruning and moving brush (opt for leather).

Lighten the load with ergonomic gardening accessories

Safe, healthy yard work and gardening involve more than just happy hands and feet. It’s easy to tackle too much or stay in a position that’s hard on joints without realizing the damage done until the next day. Stocking your tool shed with the right ergonomic gardening accessories can make a big difference and keep you feeling your best.

Rather than kneeling directly on the ground, protect your knees with a kneeling pad. Ergonomic kneeling pads can be as simple as a waterproof foam wedge you can purchase at most lawn and garden centers, or they can be more elaborate — and even include reinforced knee areas and a back support option. Some women may feel more comfortable using a kneeling bench or choosing to sit on a rocker seat — this one supports weights up to 350 lbs. Just be sure you try any product first to ensure you feel safe and stable on it.

If you’re moving soil, mulch, supplies or debris around the yard, look for a cart or wheelbarrow that’s easy to maneuver. My friend Holly, the gardening fiend pictured above (and who I swear is a plant whisperer — seriously!), raves about her green Duraworx garden cart from Lowe’s. If pushing is more your thing than pulling a cart, choose one that does most of the heavy lifting for you, sparing your back, arms and legs the stress. Sears offers the Triad™ heavy-duty wheelbarrow, which is said to combine the ease of a cart with the capacity of a ‘barrow. And you can feel good about your garden and yourself by picking a pink ‘barrow with a looped handle (better for pulling/pushing) that helps fund breast cancer research.

Easier up and down to ground level

The fact that most gardening activities take place at ground level can complicate matters for larger women who may have difficulty hunkering down to the ground or standing back up again without holding onto something sturdy for leverage. While every person needs to find the approach that’s right for her, some ideas for overcoming this challenge include wide-base canes or robust, portable step stools that you can grip with both hands and push down on while raising yourself off the ground. Placing a more substantial stool near your garden area may provide the same access to leverage. (Readers: This is a great time to share your own tips for improvising leverage to stand — be sure to hit the comments section at the end of this post!)

If the up-and-down of sitting & standing isn’t a possibility, or if your knees or other joints can’t accommodate extended amounts of kneeling, crouching, bending or sitting low to the ground, another great way to maintain your gardening hobby or passion is through elevated gardening. Constructing raised garden beds elevates the ground level of your soil and plants to make it more accessible from a seated position. Similarly, stand-up gardens (sometimes called tabletop gardens) can be accessed from a standing or sometimes a seated position, making them much more ergonomically friendly. And don’t discount all the creative possibilities that window boxes, planters and hanging gardens provide — you can even grow strawberries and tomatoes from a teeny section of outdoor space!

No matter what your mobility or comfort level, the Web is crawling with additional resources for making gardening more accessible (including dozens of message boards, construction plans, DIY kits and awesome sites like The Able Gardener. Mix and match tips and techniques until you find the garden design and accessories that are right for you. We look forward to hearing from all of our green thumbs out there as your summer gardens progress. . . Now put your trowels UP!

Green-thumbed girls: Share your best fat-girl gardening find, a tip about making yourself comfy on the ground, or a challenge you’ve faced in the yard. And don’t forget to upload your photos to the FGG Flickr Group or leave us a message and a photo on our Facebook page! Fame and glory (since I’m not in charge of prizes) to those whose tomatoes can make Toni’s mouth water.

Lessons learned: You don’t need to cook with edible flowers to call yourself a foodie

Fact: To be a fat girl of any shape or size, for any portion of your life, is to have some kind of a love/hate relationship with food. Sometimes the conflict is as benign as a lighthearted “Why can’t french fries have the same nutritional value as spinach?” For many of us, the relationship with food (food as friend, food as love, food as boredom deterrent, food as source of guilt, etc.) is a complicated one that we’re still seeking to unravel or make peace with. And yet. . . food is an undeniable, often enjoyable, part of our lives. We deserve the chance to embrace cooking, or fine dining, or trying new foods if that’s our passion.

Fueled by this idea, as well my own recent stint playing foodie-for-a-day (truly a marvel when you understand I don’t like foods that touch), I wanted to explore the concept of fat girl as foodie. With the shame that overweight women sometimes feel about food — or a habit of eating repetitive meals, or eating in secret — can the two coexist? Since I’m the farthest thing from an expert on the matter, I enlisted help from a source who knows her foodstuffs and the kind of tips our FGG readers want to hear — our very own Foodie Friday blogger, Michelle Laffler! Michelle patiently addressed each of my neophyte questions, and the result is a must-read for any plus-sized girl who wants to relish her meals without guilt.

What does it mean to be a “foodie”?

Might as well start with the basics, right? I don’t know about you, but when I hear the term “foodie,” it calls to mind meals/foods/ingredients that are non-mainstream, indulgent, rich, expensive, exotic, complicated, or difficult to prepare/use. It also makes me assume a self-proclaimed foodie will judge me for occasionally loving the Olive Garden. So how about it, Michelle? Where am I right, where am I wrong, and what am I missing?

ML: I don’t see the term “foodie” as being nearly so limited. Sure, there are people in the world who believe that unless you’re cooking with exotic, high-priced ingredients and preparing them in unconventional ways you’re not truly a “foodie,” but I beg to differ. I think if you take joy in food — whether by preparing it, eating it, or both — you’re at least a little bit of a foodie.  And don’t worry — most of us aren’t judging you… we’re wondering if we can grab a seat at your table! (P.S. We all have our food-related vices. You may remember that I wrote recently about my love for boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, which are culinary brilliance to me but maybe not so much to someone else.)

Dealing with the stigma of overweight women and food

For some of us, the idea of openly embracing our desire to create, learn about and love food is deeply terrifying. As an example of how we sometimes internalize the stigma — and how painful and challenging the subject of food can be — one friend shared with me that she feels like “fat girls shouldn’t talk about food — because we shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves in that way. We shouldn’t love food because that’s how we got fat.”

So I asked Michelle, an overweight woman who’s blogged about food for over two years, whether she’s ever felt judged because of her weight. Did she feel the urge to “apologize” for her love of food, and how has she dealt with that, both in her own mind and through actions and attitude?

ML: I think I’m more prone to judge myself and worry what other people are thinking than to actually be judged. Coming to terms with that nagging little voice in our heads is often a big step for curvy girls, and no doubt many of us have wondered what the people around the table were thinking as we ordered that piece of chocolate cake for dessert. I’d be lying if I said I never gave it a second thought, even after many years of self-discovery and lots of work toward self-acceptance.

However, I also know that I love a great salad just as much as I love a good slice of pie and that food, just like so many other things in life, is about balance and moderation, not denial. Sure, the voice is still there at times, but when I look around the table at my dear friends or family, I realize they love me just the way I am and there’s no need whatsoever for me to feel bad or apologize for a little bit of indulgence. If it happens that I feel like I’ve overdone it at some point during the day, I find that just a little bit of moderate or brisk activity (even if it’s just cleaning the house at warp speed while dancing to 80′s rock) goes a long way toward putting those feelings out of my head.

Can I be health-conscious AND be a foodie?

What are some good tips for for girls who want to be more adventurous food-wise, but also seek a balanced, healthy lifestyle? In discussing this Guide, another friend said, “I’d assume that weight loss and foodism are mutually exclusive.” Is she wrong? Can we have both if we want them?

ML: Can we have it all? You bet! Like I said, balance and moderation is what makes it all work. There are so many great-tasting, fun foods to be experienced and there’s absolutely no reason anyone should deprive themselves of that adventure. If closing your eyes and just pointing at something on the menu makes you too nervous or you’re not sure whether you’ll like something, seek out the advice of a friend with similar food tastes or from the wait staff at your favorite restaurant. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but don’t feel as though you have to go all out, either (I’ve been working on my taste for sushi for about five years now, but I started out with a California Roll – which isn’t really acknowledged as “sushi” by sushi snobs). And if you choose to order something on the more indulgent side of things, don’t think you have sabotage your waistline and eat it all in the same sitting. Split that chicken cordon bleu with a friend or take half home with you.

What are some good resources for a foodie newbie?

We’ve already established that I’m culinarily challenged. (And now we’ve established that I just made up the word “culinarily.”) Despite my ability to get sucked into food-related reality programming like “Chopped” or “Ace of Cakes” (and let’s not even discuss how happy a “Food Network Challenge” marathon makes me), I never find myself drawn to the kind of programs that would provide entry-level, real-world skills. (That would make too much sense, right?) In that spirit, I asked Michelle for some of her go-to resources — blogs, books, television shows, magazines, people — for solid, accessible culinary advice and trends for beginners.

ML: Here’s my confession: I’m a Food Network junkie. There are so many styles and skill levels represented among the Food Network chefs that there’s almost always something inspiring to be found there (I have personal soft spots for Rachael Ray and Paula Deen). The Food Network website includes difficulty levels and user reviews — both of which I find really valuable — and the Food Network Magazine brings that same great mix to print.

A few of my favorite food blogs from my overflowing blog reader are A Southern Grace (amazing recipes with fun, honest commentary), 101 Cookbooks (you’ve never seen natural, healthy food look so good), The Perfect Pantry (I’ve built a lot of knowledge about the items in my pantry thanks to Lydia), and Smitten Kitchen (danger: do not read while hungry!).

I’m a picky eater, but I want to learn about food

For some of us, trying new things doesn’t come easy. I was nearly laughed off Facebook recently when I shared that I’d be writing a restaurant review (“Do they serve peanut butter sandwiches and plain pasta?”), but the experience helped me realize that I enjoy more foods than I’m usually willing to try. So, on behalf of the non-adventurous eaters — and the currently hopeless cooks — among us, I asked Michelle for a few ideas about taking baby steps to broaden our horizons and skills.

ML: If you’re feeling skeptical about stretching your food boundaries, baby steps really can be huge. I think whether you’re cooking or you’re eating, if you choose a food or technique that has a similar element or ingredient to something you’re already familiar with it’s easier to make that leap of faith and begin gaining some foodie confidence.

When it’s time to get into the kitchen, seek out recipes from trusted friends or family or on websites that feature user reviews so that you can see what other people are saying about the recipe and the techniques, etc. Read the recipe all the way through (twice) before you even enter the kitchen. Measure out and stage your ingredients ahead of time if you’re not adept at doing all of that while also reading the next step in the cookbook and stirring something on the stove. Most importantly, though, go easy on yourself. Don’t feel as though you’re obligated to love (or to be good at) everything. Find your strengths and develop them into one or two “signature” dishes. . . once you’re confident about those, you’ll be much more inclined to keep pushing your food boundaries!

Stocking your kitchen: the basics

If you’re looking to build your confidence in the kitchen, check out Michelle’s list of five kitchen basics (tools or ingredients) she can’t live without:

Three food basics:

1. good chicken stock — Can be used to make a gravy, give extra flavor to veggies, and to make lower-cal but still wonderfully tasty mashed potatoes.
2. unsalted butter — I much prefer baking with butter to baking with margarine.
3. boneless-skinless chicken breasts — I keep about 6-10 pounds of diced, cooked chicken breast pieces which have been portioned out into four ounce servings in the freezer – perfect for grabbing for weekday lunches or for putting into pastas, salads, or stir-fry dishes after a quick trip through the microwave.

Two kitchen tool staples:

1. a good chef’s knife — Food prep is so much easier when you’re working with a decent knife that feels good in your hand. [FGG note: Try Rachael Ray's versatile 6" Santoku knife, which has a good grip and is easy to use even for beginners.]
2. a decent-quality blender — Crushes ice for slushy summer drinks, but also handy for blending soups, pasta sauces, etc.

One final thought from FGG: Whatever your current relationship with food, and whether you’re a kitchen newbie or a plus-sized girl with the most refined palate in town, hold your head high the next time you order a meal or step into a grocery store. One of the most important steps toward leading a full, rich, unapologetic life is to be intentional and fully present in every decision — including what we choose to eat. By giving real thought and consideration to the food we eat (be it healthy or indulgent), we prove that food doesn’t define us or rule us. It’s just one (delicious) part of our daily lives.

Huge, chocolate-covered thanks to Michelle for making this guide possible! For more of Michelle’s foodie wisdom (plus gorgeous photos and a wealth of recipes you can actually complete!), follow her journey at Culinography. And don’t forget to visit FGG each Friday for a brand new recipe from Michelle!

Readers, we’d love to hear your thoughts on curvy girls and food. How have you worked to reconcile food and weight? What challenges or questions do you still have? And what’s YOUR best in-the-kitchen tip you want to shout about from the rooftops (or the blog comments)?

When was the last time you had s’mores? I’m not talking about a S’more Pop-Tart or a bowl of S’more Crunch Cereal (anyone remember that?). I’m referring to crispy, gooey, chocolatey, honest-to-goodness s’mores (short for “some more” as in, “try one and you’ll beg for s’more!”). This delectable dessert was the stuff your childhood camping trip dreams were made of, right?

There’s no need to wait until you find yourself sitting in front of a roaring fire on a summer night to enjoy the goodness of this classic treat. In fact, you can whip up a little campfire nostalgia any time you like, and it only takes a few minutes. You can keep it simple and go with the classic configuration or you can jazz it up a bit by using caramel filled chocolate pieces, dark chocolate, or incorporating a little peanut butter. You can keep it simple or make it sexy (gooey marshmallows and melty chocolate? oh yeah!). S’mores aren’t just for kids anymore, my friends, and they’re not just for the campfire, either. You can do it all in the oven, toaster oven, or even in the microwave (if you must).

Think you’re not in a position to indulge, campfire or not? Never fear, where there’s a will there’s a way! Go with an “open-faced” s’more, forego the chocolate bar, and substitute a decadent drizzle of chocolate syrup–classic fun factor and flavor for half the calories! We don’t have to deny ourselves, we only have to think a little outside the graham cracker box!

The Classic S’more
2 graham crackers (one sheet, broken in half)
1/2 ounce chocolate (Ghirardelli Squares are my fave!)
1 standard size marshmallow

Place one graham cracker on a small cookie sheet. Top with chocolate and marshmallow. Broil for 2-3 minutes (watch it closely, it’ll burn when you’re not looking!) until marshmallow is lightly toasted. Remove from oven, top with remaining graham cracker and smoosh. Indulge.

Yield: 1 S’more

S’more Light
1 graham cracker (one half of one sheet)
1 standard size marshmallow
1/2 teaspoon chocolate syrup
Place one graham cracker on a small cookie sheet. Top with marshmallow. Broil for 2-3 minutes (watch it closely, it’ll burn when you’re not looking!) until marshmallow is lightly toasted. Remove from oven and drizzle with chocolate syrup. Indulge.

Yield: 1 S’more

Looking for more great recipes? Visit my blog at
http://culinography.wordpress.com

I’m a Compulsive Overeater.

People who meet me are taken aback if I mention that I am – present tense – a compulsive overeater. “But you’re not fat!” they protest. Yeah, and Joe the alcoholic who hasn’t had a drink in twenty years isn’t drunk, but he’s still an alcoholic. My last eating binge was twenty-six years ago.

I’m going to pause for a minute and just breathe that in; I forget sometimes the enormity of it.

I hated my life when the food was out of control. The up-and-down weight was part of it – it’s embarrassing to see someone at one size in June and be a whole different size in September – but the real agony was the bondage. In contrast to popular belief, there is no freedom in turning into the drive-thru when part of me didn’t want to but a stronger part really did. I was a slave to trying the next diet just because it was Monday (despite that I hated diets and knew they didn’t work). When it got bad enough, I knew that even if I would never be thin, I had to find a way to be free.

Fast-forward two decades – I’ve been both free, and thin, for a really long time. Free is better but I won’t lie: thin is nice, too. I no longer diet or agonize over food. Sometimes I eat too much, sure, but I’m never “going off” of something because there’s nothing to go off of. I look healthy and normal. But while I am healthy, I’m not normal. I’m still and always will be a compulsive overeater.

So how have I come to this place?

> Rather than think of it as a negative thing, knowing and readily admitting what I am is the path to emancipation. It tells me that I need to take the following things seriously to maintain the gift I’ve been given.

> Having some kind of spiritual life. I’m no Mother Theresa, but without contact with a higher power, I’d still be looking for God in a bag of Doritos. Willpower runs out. Spiritual power doesn’t.

> Willingness to help other fat people. I can feel bad for the homeless, the terminally ill, or victims of domestic abuse. But other than giving money, I can’t do anything for them because I don’t understand their experience. I do understand hiding food, stealing food, bingeing alone, and hating myself later. Nobody can help an addict like another addict, and helping others improve their lives makes me want to keep doing the same with my own.

> Eating within some gentle, flexible parameters. For me, that’s pretty much three meals a day, because if you only start to eat three times, you only have to stop three times. And, for the most part, natural foods. Anything beyond that gets diet-like and crazy-making. I’m a vegan and I know that helps keep me thin, but I wasn’t able to let go of animal products until after I was able to stop succumbing to the compulsion to eat just to get a fix.

That list may seem simple, but if I were to give up on any of them, I’d almost certainly binge again. This is who I am. I could reject my spiritual life and not turn to drugs or gambling; I don’t relate to those. Cookies, however, I get.

This is a syndrome. Overeating and binge eating are the extreme end of it. When I don’t want to go to the gym for days, I’m not overeating, but I’m in the syndrome. When I want to stay in and watch TV instead of go out to a networking event that would further my career, I’m in the syndrome. When I’d rather eat alone, even the most nutritious, moderate, and beautifully balanced meal ever prepared, that’s the syndrome.

As an imperfect person, I dance around with that syndrome. I recognize it and, thanks to that list I’m committed to, it hasn’t in all these years gone as far as gaining back weight (I’m sixty pounds lighter than I used to be) or even to a binge. But weight loss isn’t the point. I’ll say it again: I’m a compulsive overeater. That fact will remain as long as I live in this body and have this brain. The point is that I used to think it was curse, but now I understand that it’s a gateway: to understanding myself, to plugging into the endless energy and wisdom of a higher power, and to being of use to others in the world.

Victoria Moran (http://www.victoriamoran.com) is a holistic health counselor (HHC, AADA) and the author of books including Creating a Charmed Life, Fit from Within, and The Love-Powered Diet.

super gurrl by JamieBates

We’ve all been there: Saturday morning’s long, impatient to-do list competes with the more compelling siren song of a warm blanket and a good book. Or a jam-packed day at the office – complete with a two-hour lunch delay to solve the latest crisis – burns this morning’s stockpile of energy down to embers. Or on the one day you get to sleep in, the kids decide to wake an hour and a half early to place an order for Mickey Mouse pancakes. While everyone faces days that test their endurance, the extra weight (and sometimes the negative self-talk) that fat girls carry in addition to our everyday burdens can make it tough to find an energy boost when we need it. Next time life demands a Superwoman setting, try refueling your energy reserves with one of these techniques.

Move it or lose it

It doesn’t take a physicist to grasp that whole “a body at rest stays at rest” law of motion deal. The more we sit without doing something active, the more inclined we are to. . .  sit without doing something active. So get up, already (this is one of those times when I need to take my own advice). Push back from the cube desk every 30 minutes and walk a lap around the office, fill your water bottle, etc. Set an egg timer and clean like crazy for exactly 10 minutes. Do five of anything resembling a jumping jack. Walk for just five minutes, then assess if you want to continue moving. For many people, the simple act of getting the blood flowing and the heart beating a little faster is all it takes to shake off the afternoon drag.

What’s your cup o’ tea?

When faced with an early morning or tough afternoon, many of us automatically reach for the caffeine boost of coffee or soda. Next time, consider swapping that Diet Coke for a cup of tea, which can provide energizing benefits without dehydrating you or posing caffeine’s risk of addiction. Popular choices include rooibos tea (antioxidant-rich and said to help soothe headaches and muscle aches, as well as improving digestion) and teas made with spearmint (light, refreshing taste and benefits said to include improved digestion and a limiting of excess hair growth on women – bonus!). Check out TeaBenefits.com for ideas about the tea that best suits your health and mood.

DIY mantra

Stuart Smalley had “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” My best friend posts song lyrics or Bible verses on Facebook when she needs to pick herself up or focus. As ridiculous as it sounds, my own “daily affirmation” came from a fortune cookie I received last summer: “You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.” (I figured if a cookie takes the time to call you out in no uncertain terms, it’s probably wise to listen.)

Having a mantra doesn’t have to be boring, trite or sound like a corporate mission statement — it’s simply about identifying what drives you. What’s the motivating force behind your job, your activities, your relationships or your choices? Are you working toward a family? A home? Better health? An established industry name? If you can connect to the root idea of what makes a task important, you may be able to find the reserves to push through it with gusto.

Make like Gumby

Back in November, Tee published the (awesome) Fat Girl’s Guide to Stretching and we learned how easy — and energizing — it could be to incorporate basic stretches into our daily routine. All those expert tips and sage advice? Still true! the important thing to add is that regardless of your lifestyle, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a student, a high-profile corporate exec, or working two jobs to pay rent, simple stretches are a take-anywhere, try-anywhere cure for flagging energy in just a few minutes. You don’t need equipment and you don’t need total privacy (which is more than we can say for the next tip) or intensive training, because moves as simple as neck stretches and shoulder rolls provide big benefits and can be done right from your desk.

Gimme an ‘O!’

We’re no longer in the Victorian age, ladies, so I’m just going to say it: orgasms are good for us. Whether achieved solo or with a partner, the release of endorphins orgasms provide is similar to that of a runner’s high, and the benefits include everything from reduced stress levels to pain management to curbed appetites. Not bad for something that feels great, right?

It may seem counter-intuitive to recommend an activity that provides such deep relaxation (and frequently, sleepiness), but a clear mind and a 20-minute power nap will often do wonders for both attitude and productivity. Plus, not every burst of energy is physical; feeling empowered and energized can just as easily be a mental strategy. How much more confidence and enthusiasm do you project when you feel good about yourself and your body? And what better way to connect with your body’s innate awesomeness than through some, shall we say, quality time and a toe curler (or two)? I rest my case — and ask that you not try this in the office.

It’s essential

Aromatherapy evokes or enhances different moods through scent, either in the form of candles or essential oils. Small amounts of the concentrated oils can be sniffed from a vial or jar, applied to pressure points like the temples, feet, or wrists, or heated in a diffuser to fill a room with fragrance. To revitalize and energize, consider scents like tea tree, mint, basil, lime, cedar, rosewood, ginger and frankincense. Oils and candles are available at retailers like Bath & Body Works, as well as smaller, niche stores and online vendors. Check out AromaWeb for more information.

Pump up the jams

Over dinner last month, my 50-something friend Iris confided the secret of her recent weight loss and sudden take-no-prisoners approach to life: Quite simply, she got a new attitude. “It’s Patti LaBelle,” she said with a grin. “I get on my treadmill and as soon as ‘New Attitude’ comes on, I’m ready to rock!”

Whether your own musical magic trick is an “anthem song” like Iris’s, or just a tune that takes you to a particularly confident, empowered time and place, music is a powerful tool – so make it work for you when you need it most. Flood your headphones with the iPod mix of songs that always gets your blood pumping (mine always includes “Hazy Shade of Winter” by The Bangles). Or choose a song with lyrics that speak to your mood and blast it while you work, cook, drive, fold laundry, or just sing at the top of your lungs.

Judge if you will, but all it takes is the opening pulse of Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” to remind me of the 4 a.m. lakefront reality check/pep talk delivered by a dear friend last summer. In a moment of flagging confidence and confusion about the future, he helped me cut through my fears and self sabotage as Gaga wailed and waves crashed in the background. A year later, I still play that song when I need a reminder that Mike was right and everything’s “gonna be okay. . . (just dance).”

Regis, I’d like to phone a friend

If you’ve read this far, you may have noticed that I frequently mention my friends when I write–they’re my extended (and surrogate) family and, often, my inspiration. Our friends are able to see the amazing qualities we possess but can’t always acknowledge in ourselves. So it stands to reason that these are the same people who may have a motivating trick or two up their sleeves when we’re feeling drained. Reaching out to a friend via phone, text or e-mail takes only moments, but the belly laugh or the calibration with your truest self that s/he provides may be what you need to feel rejuvenated.

How do you stay energized? Where do you turn for an energy boost when you most need it? Tell us in comments.