The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Ouch, by Dyanna

Most of us have (ahem) been burned before: maybe we’ve held a garage sale, attended a nephew’s outdoor graduation, or stepped out to pull some weeds “just for a few minutes,” only to feel the burn a few hours later. If you’re me, you went kayaking for the first time, dutifully applying sunscreen to your face, shoulders, arms, and chest but forgetting your capri-pants-clad shins, (wrongly) assuming they’d be covered. Nobody knows better than me that mistakes happen, but this particular error is easily–and thankfully–preventable. Rising temps and increased hours of daylight here in the U.S. mean the need for sunscreen is also increasing. The good news is that sunscreen products are appearing–often on sale–in anticipation of the pool openings and barbecues that are common during Memorial Day weekend.

Wearing sunscreen is about more than simply avoiding pain or, if you’re like me, sandal and t-shirt tan lines; it can help prevent signs of aging and even skin cancer (check out these skin cancer prevention tips from the Centers for Disease Control). Because I’m both an outdoorsy sweaty Betty and the proud owner of annual family pool passes, I prefer sunscreens that can protect me during a variety of activities. I prefer sweat- and waterproof, sports-oriented brands, which in my experience tend to have more staying power, and I’m careful to reapply as directed on the label. The “Ultra Sweatproof” claim on Coppertone Sport Breathable Sunscreen in SPF 30 sold me last summer, and it did the job while gardening, biking, swimming, and hiking. Your mileage may vary, but I prefer lotions to sprays because I think you get more bang for your buck – which matters to us big girls with more surface area to cover and who are active outdoors in sunny weather. If you shop online, don’t forget to Google “[Sunscreen Brand Name] coupon” or “[Your preferred retailer] coupon code” to scope out any specials on products and/or shipping. And if you decide to try kayaking for the first time this year, be sure to check out The Fat Girl’s Guide to Kayaking – and don’t forget those shins!

Gulf Coast, 2006: The day we built a playground with KaBOOM!

I was racking my brain Wednesday night for a way to kick off this week’s Guide (okay, truthfully I was watching “American Idol” at my friend’s house), when the show’s annual philanthropy-fest, “Idol Gives Back,” aired a piece that outlined the important work done by Feeding America. “I would love to work for Feeding America,” my friend said wistfully, “but I’d feel too weird about being a fat girl working for a hunger relief organization.” And just like that, this intro wrote itself.

Volunteering: The great equalizer

Here we are on Earth Day, smack dab in the middle of National Volunteer Week — what better time to tackle the perceived notion that fat girls are somehow lazy and inactive? The amazing plus-sized beauties in my world lead rich, diverse lives that include: horseback riding, travel, tennis, gardening, motherhood, yoga, cycling, softball and — for some — healthy doses of community involvement. Yet for some of us, it’s tougher to overcome the internalization of the notion that we “can’t” do something because of our weight. Maybe it’s because many of us equate volunteering with food pantries and soup kitchens, and anything involving food feels like it draws attention to us. Or maybe it’s because we fear not being able to keep up with the energy levels of those we’d be joining in whatever effort we chose. Martin Luther King once said:

Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. . . . You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.

Granted, Dr. King didn’t include “You don’t have to have a BMI lower than 25 to serve,” but his point is clear: Service is the great equalizer. Rich, poor, young, old, Ph.D. or high school dropout, fat or thin — it doesn’t matter who you are. It only matters that you want to lend a hand. And ladies, there are 10 times as many ways to pitch in as there are those of you reading these words right now.

Beyond food banks

It’s difficult to pinpoint how food became the default association when we think of volunteerism; perhaps it’s because hunger is such a universal issue. Or maybe it’s because, for those new to community service, spending a few hours packing food boxes or serving hot meals offers an easy, single-day way to get involved. Regardless, if you’re looking to avoid any perceived stigma (your own or otherwise) about being a fat girl working with food, don’t worry — there are scores of other ways to pitch in.

Our recent Guide to Spring Cleaning Your Closet mentioned donating your ill-fitting clothes to charitable organizations, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Opportunities to make a difference exist all around you — at your child’s school, through your church or as part of neighborhood clean-and-green efforts. If you’re not sure where to begin, try searching VolunteerMatch or Serve.gov, online databases of volunteer openings that are as easy to use as plugging in your zip code and area of interest. Idealist.org lets you be even more specific in searching its 18,000+ opportunities by selecting specific issue areas or skills used. Another great option to investigate is HandsOn Network, which includes 250 Action Centers in 16 countries. From big city organizations like Chicago Cares, New York Cares and Hands On Atlanta to smaller community hubs like Volunteer Center of Johnson County (Kansas) and HandsOn Bay Area (California), these centers are your local volunteer experts and can help connect you with a meaningful project that addresses critical need in your own community.

Find your volunteering niche

Because there are literally thousands of charities and volunteer opportunities out there, this is one of the few areas in life where you can essentially write your own ticket. So pick a cause that’s near and dear to your heart. Local animal shelters and adoption centers can almost always use volunteers to maintain the facilities and to walk, socialize and care for the animals. Various services for veterans rely heavily on volunteer assistance, and many youth organizations are starved for volunteers to staff their educational and recreational programs. Or you could pair good deeds with a current health or fitness goal and raise money while walking or running. Many 5K or 10K events also include a walking option; some are even geared toward families. Find an event near you by searching the Runner’s World database (look for walk/run combos).

If you’re looking for an activity that doesn’t require a lot of mobility or physical exertion, consider donating blood — zero exertion and free cookies! If you’re a knitter, take on a few projects that will benefit homeless or underprivileged kids or adults. Not crazy about needles of either kind? Become a trained domestic violence hotline volunteer, provide some companionship or a game of Bingo at the local senior center, or become involved as an ESL volunteer or youth tutor. In addition, nearly every nonprofit organization, large or small, welcomes willing, enthusiastic volunteers who can provide administrative or reception support. Your professional skills may come in handy, as well; try scanning the “get involved” or “support” pages for organizations you respect to locate their wish lists, which will often include services like PR, marketing, graphic design or accounting. Basically, if you have the time, an organization will gratefully find a way to use it.

Fight the “fat girls can’t…” notion

One of the scariest and most fulfilling experiences of my life took place in October 2006 in Biloxi, MS. A year after Hurricane Katrina ravaged the gulf coast, I finally had the time and money to spend a week participating in the rebuilding efforts. Having convinced a friend to join me, we made arrangements with Hands On Gulf Coast (now Hands On Mississippi), booked our flights, and spent a week eating communal meals and sleeping in bunk beds, dorm-style, surrounded by dozens of other volunteers.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t take naturally to physical activity and hard labor; I’m an indoor, creature comforts kind of girl, and I’ll choose the escalator over the stairs every single time. So the idea of spending my vacation willingly rising at dawn and working until my feet ached and my muscles screamed was a huge step outside my comfort zone. I had several moments leading up to the trip where I thought, “Oh my God, I’m not going to be able to do this. I’m too overweight and out of shape. People will laugh at me. It’s going to be too hard.” But I’d spent the whole year wishing I could do something to help, and thankfully, that conviction overshadowed the massive doubts I was having.

The days were long and the work was hard. We spent two work days working on the community gardens maintained by HOGC, hauling fence portions and bags of Quikrete, digging post holes, hanging and setting fencing, painting the fence. Another day was spent raising a playground from the ground up with KaBOOM! (see photo, above). When we arrived on site that morning, there was an empty lot behind the school and a ton of supplies, tools and play equipment components; when we left that afternoon, 200 people from all over the county had created a full-scale playground for the kids to enjoy. I worked alongside the school’s principal atop a 10-foot-tall pile of playground mulch. I pitchforked mulch until my arms felt like they would rip off in protest. It was one of the most fulfilling days of  my life. That trip taught me that my weight may make some things more challenging (I’ve never popped so much Aleve), but it doesn’t define me unless I let it.

Celebrate the benefits of giving back

You don’t have to hop a plane to the nearest disaster zone or become Queen of the Mulch Pile to prove that fat girls can do anything they want to do. All you need is the willingness to step outside of your daily routine for a few hours here and there. Volunteer by trying something new or doing what you do best. Either way, the boost of accomplishment and confidence is one we could all use. Plus, if you’re shy about meeting people, community service is a terrific way to ease into a new network of friends with similar interests and passions. There’s even been research done to suggest that volunteering makes us healthier. The only question left is: How will you choose to get involved?

How do you stay involved in your community? Has your weight ever held you back? Tell us in comments.

Raindrops refrained by davidezartz

Dear FGG: I’m a size 24 and I’m not having any luck finding a cute raincoat for spring at local stores. Got any ideas?

Rainy days can either make you feel dark and gloomy or playful and earthy – it’s all about your attitude. Fortunately, this question led us to a number of cute finds that had us ready to throw on rubber boots and go puddle stomping. Better yet, many are currently marked at sale prices. Win/win!

Depending how dressed-up you want to look, the classic trench coat is always a great option that can take you from spring to fall. While some of you girls might shy away from belted jackets, they’re actually flattering because they highlight your waist (yes, even if it’s thicker), which balances your silhouette and keeps you from looking boxy. The clean, crisp looks offered by TravelSmith (sizes up to 3X or 24/26) and Woman Within (sizes up to 34W) are perfect for wearing to work or on dressier occasions. Be sure to check the sizing chart before purchasing, because not all 3X measurements are created equal. According to the Macy’s sizing chart, for example, their 3X DKNY long rain coat only accommodates a size 22.

For a more casual style, try Junonia’s Cloudburst rain jacket with brim hood (sizes up to 6X) or the packable Anorak rain coat from TravelSmith. Items from the Weather Solutions® line  from Woman Within, are reasonably priced and available in plus sizes to 34W or higher. Opt for a basic Anorak style with drawstring waist and detachable hood, or add some pizazz with a shiny, patent look or an A-line swing and cheerful punch of color.

Finally, consider taking a bold, “new beginnings” approach to the season — stow your dark, heavy winter coat in the closet and step out in a pure white trench with black floral border from Avenue. Available in sizes up to 26 and priced under $60, this flattering coat (yes, big girls can wear white, too!) says “welcome, spring!” all over.

What styles have kept you warm and dry lately, ladies? Leave us a comment describing your rainy-day must-haves.

Image by LizMarie

Seasonal transitions can make heading outdoors to walk or hike downright intimidating: What if it rains? What do I do about mud puddles on the trail? How did I get roped into doing this 5K walk in the park for charity? What’s this snow doing here–I thought it was too late in the year for that! Wherever you’ll be hiking or strolling outdoors, it can be scary worrying about getting wet, being cold, or falling or twisting an ankle. We’ve got good news – it’s possible to hike comfortably in any weather with a little preparation and know-how–read on for some solutions to get you past many of the most common hiking hurdles.

First, get your head in the game.

I’m not much of a sports fan, nor do I play one on TV, but I did marry one. And something I’ve observed while watching heated competitions with my husband is how vital the mental component is to any sport. If a couple of players start looking defeated when they fail to score, you can see it reverberate throughout the team. The most important piece of gear to pack is your brain. I understand the fear of falling, possibly more than many people after breaking my leg slipping on ice. While pregnant. (Good times). Carrying extra pounds can skew our center of gravity and affect how we judge our movements, especially if we haven’t been active in a while and need to recalibrate our responses. Hiking with that knowledge in mind is important, but shouldn’t be a deal-breaker. Based on my own trail-tested trial and error, if you’re taking baby steps and worrying over every ice patch or root hidden under leaves, how much fun will you have? Also, I think if you invite disaster, it’s more likely to get a nasty toe in the door, so whenever possible, be careful but carry an “act as if” attitude that you’re safe and strong and moving with purpose, and you’ll enjoy your experience much more.

Outerwear

We’ve covered hiking wear basics in our Guide to Hot Weather Hiking and the companion  Guide to Cold Weather Hiking (what can we say? We really like hiking, and we cover it here often because just about anyone at any fitness level can do it). To put it simply, dressing for the weather will guarantee a comfortable, and therefore enjoyable, hike. For rainy weather, there are some choices in plus size rain gear, but as usual, the big outdoor retailers like REI don’t seem to offer much. There’s  several to choose from at Land’s End, which ranges up to size 3X, this packable one from Travelsmith goes up to 3X, this one from Woman Within comes in 4X, and I hope you’re sitting down (to lace your hiking boots), because Junonia’s Cloudburst comes in a 6X! As seasons change you can often find steals in colder weather clothing so look for deep discounts on fleece layers – you want a breathable-but-warm fabric that doesn’t stay wet when it gets wet to prevent hypothermia on the trail.

Boots or shoes

This is not the time to stroll outdoors in your 5-year-old Keds. For hiking any distance, particularly on tricky terrain, you’ll want boots or shoes with serious ankle support and soles with a good grip. I’m a fan of trail runners and mid-height hiking boots, and there are ample brands to choose from. I know Keen is good for wider feet, though I haven’t found them to be as sturdy as I’d like (please feel free to correct me here), and I love Montrail for my narrow size 10s. For a truly nerdilicious resource, Backpacker magazine runs an annual Gear Guide every March that’s packed with hiking boot and shoe reviews (worth checking out at your local library or you can order back issues here for $7).

Hiking gear

Depending on the trail conditions, there’s more than one item that can keep you safely on the trail. Like these awesome little workhorses called YakTrax, which attach to the bottom of your boot or shoe to provide traction on slippery surfaces. Trekking (or hiking) poles are another item worth a serious look, but they come with a bit of a learning curve and should never serve as a substitute for carefully planting your feet with every step. What trekking poles can do is take some of the load off your knees during steep inclines and downhills, and they do help stabilize you on uneven ground. Backpacker magazine’s gear editor, Kristen Hostetter, shows how to use hiking poles in this brief video, and good outfitters will offer demos and tips in stores before you buy.

Moves to strengthen your body for hiking

Backpacker magazine has a few “spring training” moves for getting into trail-ready condition (if a full lunge is too much for you right now, check out these excellent alternatives and modifications at the About.com guide to Exercise), and here’s a great article on strengthening ankles at home. And don’t forget to stretch! The Fat Girl’s Guide to Stretching is a great starting point.

Here are some specific tips for navigating tricky terrain:

* Ice and snow - If you’re doing an early spring hike and there’s only a couple of inches of snow to deal with, YakTrax are your friend here. If not, having warm, sturdy, supportive boots will get you through just fine. For deeper snow, snowshoes are a must – check out The Fat Girl’s Guide to Snowshoeing and Cold Weather Hiking for pointers on getting started.

* Rocky, root-filled terrain - Here’s where getting – and keeping – your head in the game is crucial. I just did a hike on a leaf-covered trail with golf-ball-sized rocks and protruding roots. Sure, I stumbled once or twice at first, but I didn’t let the precariousness get the best of me. Wear supportive footwear (this is a case where mid-height to full hiking boots are a good idea), keep a steady pace that feels comfortable for you, and make sure to keep a firm heel-to-toe stride.

* Muddy and slippery, with puddles and wet leaves - If you’re hiking during this time of year, chances are you don’t mind a little mud and water; tread cautiously over any slippery patches. If your boots or shoes aren’t already waterproof or resistant, you can treat them with products like NikWax. Wearing socks made of non-cotton fabrics (like SmartWool or Thorlo will help keep your feet dry if your footwear gets wet.

* Frequent, steep inclines - Here’s where trekking poles can be your friend, but knowing your abilities and limitations is important here, too. Because I have asthma, going higher means I must make frequent stops while ascending steep hills. But for me, hiking is about taking in the scenery and not a race, pausing is a normal and welcome part of any steep hikes I take.

* Stream crossings and/or slippery rocks - This article from the Orange County Register is filled with common sense tips on crossing streams safely – crucial to staying relatively dry and avoiding tragic and often preventable accidents. During springtime, water levels can rise and currents can increase due to runoff from snow melting, so get a really good sense of the current and depth and don’t hesitate turn back if you’re at all unsure of the safety of crossing.

* Sand - Unless there are nasty burrs or goat head stickers (huh? check out this entertaining description) – i.e., smooth sand dunes vs. wild and woolly desert – you can swap the boots/trail runners for rugged (but super-comfy) outdoor sandals like Tevas or Chacos. To keep ankles steady, focus on walking at a comfortable pace instead of hurrying, which leads to stumbling and staggering instead of striding.

Readers, let’s hear it! What’s the trickiest hike you’ve done? How about your favorite hiking gear? Any brands or other resources not mentioned here we should know about? Share them in the comments.

The cautionary tale of Wounded soldier by twodolla

As my college friends gathered this weekend to help celebrate my birthday (thanks again, guys!), we excitedly planned our get-togethers for the next several months: Birthdays. Weddings and babies. Pool parties. Camping. All of this outdoor fun brought to mind an age-old fat girl challenge:

Where can I find a portable chair that won’t fold like a bad poker hand when I sit down?

Many of us know the only thing worse than mentally assessing the hip room of every portable camping chair at an outdoor gathering is perching daintily upon a cheapie version and praying that the recommended weight allowance is accurate to the ounce. Actually, there is one thing worse: that horrible moment when dainty doesn’t cut it and said chair unceremoniously dumps its occupant onto her bottom. Ladies, I have heard the sickening CRACK! of a breaking chair, and my goal today is to help ensure none of our readers ever has to do the same. So if you’re an outdoorsy girl seeking comfort, stability, and subtle design (read: NOT the chair equivalent of a muumuu), try taking a load off in one of these tush-friendly finds.

If possible, test Goldilocks-style until you locate “just right.”

Obviously, the best option is to check out your prospective chair using your body’s own specific dimensions. Fold & unfold the chair, try sitting in various positions (fully reclined, leaning forward, legs crossed or propped up, etc.), and stand up using the armrests as leverage. Pay attention to whether the armrests’ support bars or their grommets pinch or dig into your thighs; when they’re iffy after a five-minute test run, imagine how uncomfortable you’ll feel during an evening in front of a bonfire. Overall, look for a chair that feels stable no matter how you sit. And don’t forget to pack it back into its carrying case and try hefting it before you purchase — folding camp chairs shouldn’t be a “team lift” item.

Coleman makes several models that should accommodate plus-sized users without drawing attention to them, such as the Coleman Elite Cooler Quad Chair ($34.99, Target), which lists a weight limit of 325 pounds and features a cooler built into the armrest (brilliant!). You could also try settling into the Coleman Lumbar Chair ($21.88, Wal-Mart), which offers extra lumbar support and a weight limit of 350 pounds, or REI’s Comfort Recliner Chair ($59.50), with a 325-pound capacity and a seat back angle that invites you to prop your feet up and get comfy. The highest weight rating we found during a search of major retailers was the Coleman Max Sling Chair ($26.88, Wal-Mart), which accommodates 400 pounds. Unfortunately, the downside to in-person shopping is that selection may be limited; individual store locations may not carry these heavy-duty models, or may have just a small quantity or selection in stock.

If you can’t try it yourself, read specs & reviews carefully.

If you’re willing to gamble a bit with ordering online, the seating possibilities are almost endless — just be sure to research carefully and read any available customer reviews. Remember that it’s not just the weight capacity of a chair you need to assess, but its seat width and how the armrest support bars are positioned, as well. And to reduce the likelihood of chair legs sinking into soft ground, opt for models with wider “feet” at the end of each chair leg.

Online sellers offering robust chairs range from well-known retailer Dick’s Sporting Goods to LivingXL (which offers plus-sized products in many categories) to niche sites like Koolest Products, notable for a wealth of “extreme” merchandise. We liked the unassuming nature of the powder blue, heavy-duty Quik Chair from Dick’s, which subtly and inexpensively ($24.99!) seats users weighing 500 pounds. LivingXL offers a similar model with a few color choices and a higher price tag ($49.99), as well as the largest portable chair on the market — a 1,000-pound capacity model with 30-inch-wide quilted seat ($99.95, or $139.95 for the canopied version).

For truly indulgent R&R, go for the bells and whistles.

With a capacity of 400 pounds, LivingXL’s Suntracker® Swivel Chair ($169.95) rotates a full 360 degrees and includes a built-in sun visor. And the aptly named MaXXDaddy Monster Folding Chair ($149.99, Koolest Products) boasts two cup holders, a magazine pouch, a detachable/adjustable footrest and a pillowed headrest that cushions your noggin, hammock-style. All this, and it accommodates 800 pounds in an extra-wide, 25-inch seat, to boot. A friend purchased this chair (in purple) a few years back, and lo, it was good! At one point, I believe he considered ditching his couch and replacing it with a fleet of these puppies. The only downside was the rather prominent MaXXDaddy logo. . .  and the stampede that ensued whenever my friend vacated his seat for a beer run. With comfort that legendary, though, you may not want to leave your new chair, either.

Tried one of the chairs we mentioned? Want to share your experiences with a different model? Tell us in comments.

This week’s Fat Girl’s Guide is the first installment of a two-part series. Part I takes you through all your cruise prep – from research to wardrobe. Next week’s Guide will be crammed with ways to make the most of your onboard experience.

A few things are certain on a cruise: Drinks will be ridiculously expensive. By Day 3, you’ll begin to recognize other passengers and to make up nicknames and stories for them (“Needs-to-Lay-Off-the-Spray-Tan Lady,” “Guy with Giant Smurf Tattoo”). If your name is “Angela,” you will be “The Girl Who Over-Packed” and you will never live it down.

You’ll notice one assumption conspicuously absent from that list of guarantees: Everyone will be thin, sporty and cover-model gorgeous.

If anyone has ever told you that fat people don’t cruise, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. The truth is, unless you’re taking a specialty voyage geared toward a particular audience (singles, families, LGBT community, under-30, BBW, etc.), your fellow travelers will represent all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and activity levels. Cruising while fat is the same as tackling any other opportunity — you just need a game plan. And maybe some Dramamine.

Determine your travel style.

The options are almost limitless when it comes to voyage length, destination, ship amenities and formality level, so a savvy girl and her traveling companion(s) need to set a few basic priorities before booking. Will you spend most of your time on the ship, or do you plan to see the sights at each port? What amenities are the most important to you? Fabulous spa? Tons of pools? Luxurious bedding? Unique on-board activities like bowling or a climbing wall? Do you want lots of kid-friendly activities or a more relaxed, adult pace? Lengthier cruises tend to attract more seasoned travelers and retirees, while voyages during school breaks will be loaded with kids. Compile a list of must-haves (spa!), negotiables (bedding), and deal-breakers (tons of kids if you’re looking for a singles experience) and see if you can find a cruise line and voyage that meets your needs.

Your dining experience requires more planning than you think.

We know fat girls sometimes feel more confident in casual wear vs. formal (or vice versa), so it’s important to know your comfort level before committing to a particular ship. Do you love the idea of getting dressed up in the evening, chatting with new friends and having a set dinner time? You’ll probably be a fan of more traditional cruises, offered by many lines (Carnival is one example). Although a number of lines have begun offering flexible dinner times or a 24-hour cafeteria on some ships, the traditional cruise dinner experience matches you with a set group of dining companions at a fixed time throughout your voyage. Dress codes are more formal as well, and some may require cocktail attire.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of chatting up new people, or if you enjoy a more casual experience and a higher level of flexibility, you’re definitely a candidate for “freestyle” cruising. Employed most notably by Norwegian, but gaining traction on other lines, freestyle is just what it sounds like — freedom to choose where and when you eat, and with whom you share meals. During our nine days aboard the Norwegian Jewel, my friends and I dined in eight different restaurants at times ranging from 5:30-10:30 p.m. With the exception of the Japanese steakhouse, we never shared tables with other passengers. Shorts, jeans and tank tops are off-limits everywhere but the buffet, but basic, casual cruise wear (check with your line for their rules on casual and formal dress) was appropriate for all other restaurants.

Veteran tip: Even if you cruise freestyle, be prepared to do some on-board planning. Reservations (made up to 24 hours in advance) are usually required at non-buffet restaurants, while a few of the boutique dining options (steak house, hibachi, Asian cuisine) required a $10-$20 cover charge.

Once you’ve set your priorities, dig in to researching, purchasing and planning.

Put time and thought into planning your cruise vacation. If you’ve heard good things about a particular cruise line, or spotted a great bargain, explore every inch of the web site, including the FAQ and virtual tours of staterooms, dining rooms and amenities. Many lines will offer basic info in the sections for first-time cruisers and some sites also offer a community area to network with other passengers.

For feedback beyond the colorful marketing pictures and exciting descriptions, turn to independent web sites like Cruise Diva, which offers summaries and reviews of each cruise line’s concept, in addition to the individual ships in its fleet. Cruise Critic and CruiseMates each provide news and reviews, as well as bustling online communities that are phenomenal resources. Comb through discussion threads by cruise line or topic (Cruise Critic is even searchable), or create a user account and post your own questions. Many of the message boardies are hardcore — having traveled on a dozen or more cruises — so their insights are usually pretty helpful. You also may be surprised to see how many of the questions pertain to weight issues or fears about size.

Veteran tip: Cruise lines take care of their online communities. On a recent  NCL sailing, members of an active message board group attended an exclusive on-board party and were invited to tour the ship’s bridge and rub elbows with the captain.

Read the fine print before booking excursions.

Both the cruise line’s web site and the independent message boards provide a wealth of information regarding excursions offered at every port. Again, corporate descriptions will be glossier, while you’ll get more of the down-and-dirty scoop from fellow travelers. Whether deciding on a cruise-sponsored excursion (higher costs but more accountability to you as the customer) or seeking an independent tour guide or vendor in a port city (lower costs, smaller group sizes, more customer responsibility to vet thoroughly), be sure you understand everything about the activities. Some excursions (zip lines, ATV travel, helicopter tours, some smaller boats or kayaks) will have clearly outlined weight limits of 200 lbs, 250 lbs, 400 pounds per 2-person boat, etc. Many tours and excursions will outline the exertion level involved or provide a list of activities a participant must be able to accomplish (climbing stairs, walking a mile, walking on uneven terrain, climbing into and out of boat, etc.). Again, many travelers on message boards will have done these activities and can give you honest feedback. If you feel nervous or unsure about any portion of a description, never hesitate to contact the cruise line or the vendor.

While there are definitely some activities off-limits to larger travelers (I doubt I’ll ever be welcome on a zip line!), it’s important to realize the vast majority of the options are things most of us can do. There wasn’t a  remotely skinny person in our Caribbean travel group, yet we snorkeled, climbed catamaran ladders, swam with dolphins, hiked down to view a volcano, rode tenders out to play with stingrays, and toured an island on an 18-person bus that resembled a clown car. Be honest with yourself about your limitations, but don’t let worries over your size keep you from trying something new.

Pack a few different swimwear pieces.

The two-suit rule is a gimme; no one likes climbing into a wet swimsuit, and sardine-can staterooms don’t afford great options for ventilated drying. Aside from doubling up, however,  you may want to consider multiple styles of swimwear (like a skirted option and a one-piece, even if you’re vehemently pro-skirt) or top & bottom separates that you can mix and match, especially once you determine which excursions you’ll be taking. Dressing for a tour of Mayan ruins or a day at the beach is pretty easy, but several of the tropical excursions involve multiple components that require you to be clothed one minute (in a local restaurant, for example) and ready for swimming the next. For these swim/land hybrid excursions, don’t wear a swim dress with a built-in skirt if you hope to put a pair of shorts or pants over it for the land portion. Few things are as uncomfortable as trudging around for several hours with a soaking-wet mass of fabric balled up at your waist (the skirt part on many swim dresses takes forever to dry). I MacGuyvered this problem when I encountered it by gathering the skirt at one side with an elastic hair band, but believe me, it was not my finest hour.

Look for quick-drying, versatile, over-the-suit options, like these multipurpose shorts from Junonia, available in sizes up to 4X. We also like the selection of swim shorts and activewear from lines such as Lands End, Danskin or Faded Glory. And even if you’re not leaving the ship, remember to pack a cover-up, sarong or pair of swim shorts for the lengthy trips between your stateroom and the pool.

Veteran tip: Plan your excursion outfits to be useful regardless of activity order. Our day in St. Lucia was described chronologically as land/lunch/swim/sail, but we learned that half the groups go in reverse order to manage crowding with the tour vendors.

Supportive, broken-in shoes or sandals are a must.

Whether you plan to disembark at every port or just chill on the ship, prepare to do a good amount of walking. Cruise ships are enormous floating civilizations, and the distance you’ll cover just traveling between your room and the various locations onboard will surprise you. Additionally, some excursions may involve wet conditions, walking over varied terrain, climbing up or down stairs, etc. I’ve never been able to walk comfortably in flip-flops; they don’t stay on my feet and they provide zero support. If you’re like me, consider sandals from Chaco or Teva, which offer good tread while providing ventilation and supportive ankle straps. There’s also the Crocs option. Yes, they are as fugly as shoes come, but – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they were a godsend for the port days when our itinerary involved a sloshy catamaran ride, stops to swim and snorkel, hiking down into a volcano, and a bus tour of the island – all in a single outfit. Crocs were easy to clean when sandy or dirty, they went from wet to dry conditions without problem, and I didn’t care if I ruined or lost them.

Veteran tip: Get a rush of accomplishment by wearing a pedometer to track all those steps you’ll take during your cruise. Plus, you’ll know without a doubt you’ve earned that trip to the midnight chocoholic buffet!

Come back next Thursday for Part II — all about selecting/maximizing your stateroom, on-board accommodations and (of course) the food! In the meantime: Been cruisin’? Tell us your packing must-haves or share tips for finding a fat girl-friendly ship and excursions that excite.

Photo by Mike Baird

This question landed in our inbox this morning, and because time was of the essence, we decided to (ahem) gallop with it:

Hello! I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m going horse riding for the first time for a hen’s weekend and am more than a little anxious about it. I’d really appreciate any and all advice.”

This isn’t the first time we’ve received a question about horseback riding, particularly whether a bigger gal might be too much for a horse to handle. We poked around online a bit and found that there is some controversy in this area; obviously people of all shapes and sizes can and do ride horses, but in the equestrian community, opinions can be pretty strong about how big is too big, but reading between the lines it seems that it is possible to ride responsibly if you’re overweight.

We spoke with Mary Midkiff, founder of Women & Horses,™ which covers female-specific training with an eye toward the care of and empathy for the horses while riding. Many big, tall men ride horses, and we wondered whether this was analogous to a 250-pound woman mounting up, and Midkiff agreed. “You could hurt the horse if the horse is too small,” she said. “For a person of that size, I’d want to see them on a draft horse or a draft type horse–in other words, a heavy-boned, bigger horse.” Before riding, call and ask if there are any weight limitations for riders, because every place will have horses of different sizes and abilities, and every stable will have different preferences about riders’ ability levels and size.

What to wear

We’ve all seen cowboys riding horses, and cowboys (and girls) wear jeans, right? Not if you’re a beginner, says Midkiff. “They’ll rub you around the knee, calf, and upper thigh, and the seams at the crotch can be uncomfortable over time.” She suggests investing in a pair of plus size riding tights, or if you’re not sure you’ll be riding often, wear pants with a straight leg that stretch well with some padded bicycling shorts underneath. “Some women are embarrassed to wear riding tights because they are tight and they do show a lot, but you can wear a longer shirt or jacket over them,” says Midkiff. Skip the yoga pants or boot cut jeans if you’ll be riding English style (as opposed to Western style–read about the differences here), to prevent getting caught in the stirrups.

There’s a reason cowboy boots have heels, and so should your footwear when riding. A shoe or boot with a 1″ heel will keep your foot from sliding through the stirrup, so leave your gym shoes at home. Some Western saddles have toe guards, but unless you know your stable will have them, don’t count on that. Midkiff insists on protective headgear, too: “There are equestrian-specific helmets that meet the safety standards for riding and run in the $30-50 range,” she says. Most, if not all outfitters provide helmets, but Midkiff suggests bringing a bicycle helmet along just in case. Finally, here’s where having an Enell or similarly structured, high impact, minimum bounce sports bra will serve you well, because there will be bouncing–even more if your horse decides to trot, canter, or is spooked.

Before you ride

Horseback riding doesn’t just bounce your jiggly parts, it also works your inner thighs in ways most other activities don’t. Therefore, stretching the inner thighs is important and warming up the core muscles with some pelvic tilts is a good idea, too.  “Always ask your outfitter for a mounting block or to stand on a hay bale – something secure and sturdy – to help you mount the horse,” says Midkiff. “For one thing, you don’t want to stand on anything unstable where you can lose your balance, and if you mount from the ground, you torque the horse’s back.” A good outfitter will demonstrate how to mount and then help you properly–and safely–climb aboard.

After riding

If you’re sore after riding, Midkiff recommends a hot bath with bath salts to soothe aching muscles. Expect soreness in the inner thighs, glutes, and piriformis muscles. “You’re doing a lot of gripping with the inner thighs just naturally while riding,” says Midkiff. “So when you get off, you’ll feel like one of those bowlegged cowboys.” For bruises, she suggests arnica gel or lotion, which you can find at most natural or health food stores.

Girls, share your own experiences with horseback riding in comments, and if you love horses, too, consider contributing to an organization right in Toni’s back yard, the Hooved Animal Humane Society.