The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

Photo by {Pauly}

I really enjoy the raw honesty and natural beauty in {Pauly}’s self portraits on flickr. It takes a certain amount of bravery to be open and real in front of the entire Internet, let alone to do so every day for a year. When this photo landed in the FGG Girls flickr pool, I kept returning to it. I think there’s a vulnerability and openness there that we can all relate to – and that perhaps we wish we could reveal more often ourselves.

Are you the fat girl who’s quick to crack a joke or make a self-deprecating remark before someone else zings you first? Are you “large and in charge” in order to avoid being perceived as lazy or weak, when inside what you really want is to let someone else take the reins once in a while? Perhaps you’re the type to hide or turn your head when someone points a camera lens your way? Maybe none those issues affect you, but you’d still like to explore ways in which you can be soft and real while still feeling safe. In the bathroom mirror, or with a trusted friend (how about in a bathroom mirror with a really trusted friend), or perhaps in a series of self portraits, like one FGG Girls flickr group member who is doing a series of weekly self portraits as a way of getting reacquainted with herself.

When, why, and how do you allow yourself to feel vulnerable or to be your true self? Tell us in the comments section, and if you decide to edge out of your protective zone – even if just a little bit – in this regard, come back and let us know!

Photo by Midnighteskye

**Be sure to read today’s entire post for the results of our Eden Fantasys Giveaway**

We have several new photos and members in our FGG Girls Flickr Group (welcome, girls!). This image by Midnightskye caught my eye when I visited the group recently (where we have a great discussion going about photo post-processing basics if you have any tips and tricks to share).

I thought, “She looks like me!” when I clicked over to view the photo. The description says, “I know I have stretch marks, I’m a big girl, I was going to edit them, but they are a part of who I am.” Yesssss! That’s the attitude we strive for here at FGG. But even Tee and I aren’t “all moxie, all the time” (though we do strive for “most of the time”).

I have always been self-conscious of my stretch marks, and I think seeing someone put them out there with neither apology nor shame tugged hard at the pull chain to my light bulb. I immediately recalled a favorite quote, which comes from the brilliant television show The Wire, when Walon (played by the awesome Steve Earle) says to Bubbles (played by “Why does this man not have an Emmy for his performance on The Wire?!?” Andre Royo):

Shame ain’t worth as much as you think. Let it go.

I may have fallen out of my chair when I heard that line, because I’ve felt ashamed of my body since hitting puberty. I started dieting at an age (12) and size (5) where I had no business doing so, because all of the girls and women around me were starving and hating on themselves, including my mother. It’s really only been over the past year or so that I’ve started actively working to appreciate my physical self, stretch marks and all – including ditching the little self-deprecating remarks about every self-perceived flaw. Because those “flaws” are indeed a part of who I am. I’m even putting myself out there more than ever this year by doing a year of self portraits – some candid, some artful – as a way of taking my self back. I might even muster the courage to strike a pose like Midnighteskye some time in 2010 (sorry, Mom!).

What about you? I know that body shame is not the sole province of fat girls (my skinny friends worry over their post-baby stretch marks, forty-something crow’s feet and southern-facing breasts, too), and many of you simply adore your curvy selves. But for those of you struggling with shame in any area of your lives, can you get inspired to put yourself out there more this week and drop-kick shame to the curb? I challenge you do to ONE THING this week that nudges you to “let it go.” Post a photo that represents this act to the FGG Girls Flickr Group or post a comment telling us how you did.

Special Announcement! We have a winner of our Eden Fantasys giveaway! Our random drawing from commenters who mentioned chocolate is Fat Nurse! Congratulations, girl! You are the lucky owner of the “Better Than Chocolate” clitoral vibrator (now there’s a phrase I never envisioned writing in my career). Tee has emailed you so we can send it your way. Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who played along!

Who you callin’ fat by Jamie Bates

Choosing this month’s photo challenge winner was tough because so many new and colorful photos landed in our FGG Girls photo group. Jamie’s image (above) is December’s winning photo because of her distinctive, electrifying, and inspiring self portraiture style. Congrats, Jamie! Send us your mailing address and we’ll send you a prize.

If you can’t relate to the sentiment expressed in this photo, we might have to revoke your honorary fat girl card and boot you from the clubhouse. Okay, we’re kidding, but we know that struggles with the scale can be epic for women of every size, and that’s what made this photo as evocative as it is funny. And while not everyone worries about this issue, however you feel about weighing yourself (or not), it’s sometimes easy to forget that there’s so much more to us than our waist size or weight. Taking racy, playful, or soft self portraits – or having a friend or professional photographer take quality photos of us – is a great way to capture and celebrate who we are now.

If you saw our Mid-Week Mini Challenge from last week, we’re extending it by 24 hours, because 01.01.10 is such a tantalizing kick-off date for a creative self portraiture challenge.

Here’s the scoop:

Join a Flickr self-portrait project group like 52 Weeks or 365 Days, upload your first self-portrait, then commit to at least one self-portrait each week for a year. When you’ve joined the group and added your photo (which should be taken just for this project), come back here and link to that photo in comments, which then enters you to win the mini-challenge mystery prize. Deadline: 11:59 p.m. (PST) on January 1, 2010, and the winner will be chosen at random on January 2.

I’m having another go at 365 Days of self portraits (my first 365 was in 2007), but of course *I* can’t enter to win the prize. We welcome other takers, however, so show us what you’ve got, girls!

Want Coffee? by Trinaaj

Who, us? Absolutely! We loved the this image, and not just because of our Pavlovian response to invitations involving coffee. How’s this for a cool idea: when Trina (above) moved back to Adelaide, South Australia, she decided to call one person a week to meet with her for coffee, then photographed the person and shared a little bit about them on flickr. What a great idea for anyone relocating to a different town! (See the whole project so far here).

Got any great ideas for a photography project? Tell us about it in the comments, and if you think of a fun, creative, or sultry self portrait, share it with our FGG Girls Flickr group. We showcase one image from the group every Sunday, and select a winner from each of those to win a prize each month. C’mon over and show us what you’ve got!

Self Portrait by Apple Green Amy

No post-turkey-day cooking photos landed in the FGG Girls group this week, but there’s a bunch of great new sassy images there, including this self portrait. I love the color pop in the eyes, lips, and hair – and the “up to something” ‘tude. That’s the FGG spirit!

Every week we select one photo from our Flick group as the FGG Photo of the Week. At month’s end, the girl behind the camera for one of those weekly photos wins a prize! November’s winner of our “cooking” challenge is photobonnie, for her entry “Stirring the Pot.” Congratulations, Bonnie! We have a custom-made FGG Book Bangle from Lonna’s Etsy shop for you. Email us at letters@fatgirlsguidetoliving.com so we can send it your way.

December elbows its way into our lives in two days, so grab that camera and  show us how you’re living.

Image by Happywalks

Michelle has tempted us with mini muffins and cupcakes in the past, and this week’s photo reveals how sweet it is to downsize our favorite treats (in this case, red velvet cupcakes). I love Regina’s joyful smile here, and her adorable kitchen!

Our FGG Girls Flickr group is growing every week, with amazing images of women sharing their lives, personalities, and curves.

You don’t have to be a professional or even advanced amateur photographer to join – just take photos of yourself truly living. That’s it. Show us your favorite hobbies, new fall sweater, or that cute haircut and color (ahem, Tee!). We started this group as an outlet for us fat girls to see ourselves in a kinder light and appreciate just how fun, adorable and sexy we can be. And even if you’re not feeling particularly fun, adorable, or sexy, give it a shot anyway – you may surprise yourself.

Each week we select one photo from our group as the FGG Photo of the Week. At month’s end, we pick one photo from those weekly entries to win a prize. This month’s theme is COOKING, which should be easy enough to capture in the next two weeks.

So if you haven’t already, join the fun! We look forward to seeing how you’re living.

Photo by doug88888 on flickr

What are your favorite things about this season? What feelings and memories do the shifting sunlight and changes in wardrobe and leaves evoke? For me, it’s anything pumpkin-related – from recipes to carving to gazing at pretty pictures of them – and putting on sweaters and scarves to head outside for a hike.

There’s still time to join our October photo challenge, which is All About Fall. I roamed flickr to find this week’s entry because nobody’s taken our challenge yet. What are you waiting for, girls? You’ve already proven through your many entries in our FGG flickr group that fat girls are irresistibly adorable, so get it’s time to creative and jump in on our challenge!

There are so many directions you can go with this theme: raking leaves (or jumping into a big pile of them), lining up pumpkins or Halloween luminaria, or self portraits of you looking adorable in cozy jackets, boots, and knee high socks.

Each week, Tee and I will select a photo-of-the-week, and then at the end of each month, we’ll draw a prize winner from those. October’s prize: an awesome book thong of your choice from Lonna’s Book Bangles (an Etsy shop). These are as cute as they are practical, and Tee and I use them to feed our reading addictions. Because nobody’s joined the challenge so far, the competition is still wide open!