The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

The most gifted green thumb I know (Photo by Holly Mason)

All the green-thumbed ladies! (All the green-thumbed ladies. . .) Now put your trowels up!

Apologies, readers, as I’m working through a bit of a Beyoncé earworm today. But it’s the perfect time of year to crank up a favorite tune on your iPod and get outside to soak up the blue sky, sunshine and smell of the grass growing right under your feet. For girls with the aforementioned green thumbs (regretfully, I cannot count myself among you, since I can kill even a fake plant in two days or less), the season is also ripe for planting, weeding and all manner of earthy things that make me glad I live in a big-city apartment.

Overweight women sometimes struggle with activities like gardening because of joint problems, discomfort sitting or kneeling on the ground, or challenges lowering themselves down to dirt level and standing back up again without good leverage. And yet, many women appreciate the therapeutic nature of gardening — not to mention being surrounded by colorful blooms and enjoying the fruits (and vegetables) of their  home-grown labors. As always, we at FGG cringe at the idea of putting off the things we love because of challenges in mobility or logistics — so consider today’s guide our love letter to each of you earth mamas who are ready get digging in the dirt, already!

Comfortable gardening apparel for plus sizes

While most women will agree that the garden isn’t the place for a fashion show, dressing for the elements is important. Footwear and gloves that protect from injury are a must — especially when handling chemical products (like enriched fertilizers) or thorny/prickly plants, or when working in soil that may contain sharp objects or recycled glass mulch. Before you reach for your Crocs, remember that although they’re ridiculously comfortable, water-friendly and accommodating for wider feet, they’re made from lightweight material that can be easily punctured by sharp objects. And depending on where you’re working, turning all of that soil can unearth errant nails, broken glass, sharp sticks, etc. Consider a tougher, more resilient shoe like a thick-soled clog or some waterproof galoshes — and don’t be afraid to get colorful. The Original Muck Boot Company offers durable, flexible and weatherproof clogs, boots and shoes in women’s sizes 4-13 (we liked the pink houndstooth and plum vine designs). Wide openings for tucking in pants can also be godsends for plus-size women with wide calves. The spring green cheerfulness of this pair from Sloggers (up to size 10) was almost enough to make me want to grab a Garden Weasel. Other fun finds include the Ladybug Clogs from Ranger (available in sizes 5-11 and in basic colors or bright, outdoorsy designs).

When it comes to gardening gloves, women with larger hands have lots of options for digging in safety and style. If your hands or joints are sensitive, a pair of ergonomic gloves in sizes S-XL, while pricey ($37.99), may be worth the investment. For a more festive day in the yard, Mud Gloves® come in loads of bright, fun colors and sizes from XS-XL. Plus, the breathability and coated palm and fingers for gripping traction are paired with features like UV protection and aloe moisturizers. Ultimately, selecting the right type of gardening glove is more important than the pretty design, so make sure you take into consideration the work you’ll be doing. You’ll want a different glove for handling poisonous plants or chemicals (choose Neoprene) than you will for rough yard work like extreme pruning and moving brush (opt for leather).

Lighten the load with ergonomic gardening accessories

Safe, healthy yard work and gardening involve more than just happy hands and feet. It’s easy to tackle too much or stay in a position that’s hard on joints without realizing the damage done until the next day. Stocking your tool shed with the right ergonomic gardening accessories can make a big difference and keep you feeling your best.

Rather than kneeling directly on the ground, protect your knees with a kneeling pad. Ergonomic kneeling pads can be as simple as a waterproof foam wedge you can purchase at most lawn and garden centers, or they can be more elaborate — and even include reinforced knee areas and a back support option. Some women may feel more comfortable using a kneeling bench or choosing to sit on a rocker seat — this one supports weights up to 350 lbs. Just be sure you try any product first to ensure you feel safe and stable on it.

If you’re moving soil, mulch, supplies or debris around the yard, look for a cart or wheelbarrow that’s easy to maneuver. My friend Holly, the gardening fiend pictured above (and who I swear is a plant whisperer — seriously!), raves about her green Duraworx garden cart from Lowe’s. If pushing is more your thing than pulling a cart, choose one that does most of the heavy lifting for you, sparing your back, arms and legs the stress. Sears offers the Triad™ heavy-duty wheelbarrow, which is said to combine the ease of a cart with the capacity of a ‘barrow. And you can feel good about your garden and yourself by picking a pink ‘barrow with a looped handle (better for pulling/pushing) that helps fund breast cancer research.

Easier up and down to ground level

The fact that most gardening activities take place at ground level can complicate matters for larger women who may have difficulty hunkering down to the ground or standing back up again without holding onto something sturdy for leverage. While every person needs to find the approach that’s right for her, some ideas for overcoming this challenge include wide-base canes or robust, portable step stools that you can grip with both hands and push down on while raising yourself off the ground. Placing a more substantial stool near your garden area may provide the same access to leverage. (Readers: This is a great time to share your own tips for improvising leverage to stand — be sure to hit the comments section at the end of this post!)

If the up-and-down of sitting & standing isn’t a possibility, or if your knees or other joints can’t accommodate extended amounts of kneeling, crouching, bending or sitting low to the ground, another great way to maintain your gardening hobby or passion is through elevated gardening. Constructing raised garden beds elevates the ground level of your soil and plants to make it more accessible from a seated position. Similarly, stand-up gardens (sometimes called tabletop gardens) can be accessed from a standing or sometimes a seated position, making them much more ergonomically friendly. And don’t discount all the creative possibilities that window boxes, planters and hanging gardens provide — you can even grow strawberries and tomatoes from a teeny section of outdoor space!

No matter what your mobility or comfort level, the Web is crawling with additional resources for making gardening more accessible (including dozens of message boards, construction plans, DIY kits and awesome sites like The Able Gardener. Mix and match tips and techniques until you find the garden design and accessories that are right for you. We look forward to hearing from all of our green thumbs out there as your summer gardens progress. . . Now put your trowels UP!

Green-thumbed girls: Share your best fat-girl gardening find, a tip about making yourself comfy on the ground, or a challenge you’ve faced in the yard. And don’t forget to upload your photos to the FGG Flickr Group or leave us a message and a photo on our Facebook page! Fame and glory (since I’m not in charge of prizes) to those whose tomatoes can make Toni’s mouth water.

Are these Shape-ups fat-girl friendly?

Dear FGG: I keep seeing ads for all these shoes that tone your body just by walking in them. Do they actually work? And are they safe for overweight women to wear? I’m afraid I’ll topple over!

Lately, it’s hard to miss commercials for either the new Sketchers Shape-ups or Reebok’s EasyTone fitness footwear. Although designed very differently, both are based on a similar concept (decreased stability is used to engage and challenge muscles) and are promoted as a faster way to achieve a toned butt and legs, while also losing weight. To test these claims, I trotted into two local shoe stores for some fat-girl field research, where I spoke with a shoe-fitting guru for scoop on whether these shoes live up to their hype.

Sketchers Shape-ups

Although you can purchase these puppies in every style from sandals to boots to standard athletic shoe, two different staff members at my local Lady Foot Locker assured me that the rocker technology on all the shoes was the same — a claim the Sketchers web site seems to reinforce. The signature curved, rocking-horse nature of each Shape-ups sole is designed to mimic the effect of walking on soft ground, where your heel sinks in and your muscles have to work to stabilize the body with each step. The unique design also gives the shoes a platform-like look and feel, adding a couple of inches to the wearer’s height.

After lacing up the black & white “Strength” models a clerk brought out at random for me to try (a design I’d actually consider owning — plus a name that matches my shoulder tattoo), I completed several laps around the store to get a feel for the shoes. Although I felt the “soft sand” comparison immediately, the shoes weren’t uncomfortable to wear; at no point did I feel as though I’d fall over — due to my weight or otherwise. Wearing them definitely forced me to pay attention to how I was walking, which likely affected my posture for the better. And whether it was just the increased emphasis on my stride or the actual science of the shoe, I did feel my calves working harder during the five minutes I tooled around the store.

Ultimately, although I remained curious about the Sketchers and would have loved to give them a lengthy, in-home test run, two things would likely keep me from purchasing them for myself. First, the price tag was steep–$110 for a pair of shoes I couldn’t see myself wearing everywhere due to their just-plain-weird profile. But more importantly, the shoes didn’t seem to offer any allowances for the way my feet behave when I walk. The straightforward arc on the shoe is made for people whose feet land 100% straight ahead and flush with every step, where some people (myself included) have feet that land at an outward angle, and others walk pigeon-toed. Additionally, I could occasionally feel my foot coming down along the outside edge of the sole as I strode, leaving me to wonder if I might at some point hyper-extend or turn my ankle in shoes designed to channel me into walking in a way that conflicted with my foot’s shape and natural tread.

Reebok EasyTone

Rather than an elevated rocking-horse arc on their soles, shoes in the Reebok EasyTone line instead employ what the company calls “balance pods” on the sole and heel to create instability. I took my questions about this shoe straight to an expert — longtime professional shoe fitter (and surname-phobic) José of family-owned and operated Murphy’s Fit shoe store and athletic wear in Evanston, IL. Settled in a comfy fitting chair (which moments earlier had been occupied by local nightly news anchor, Mark Suppelsa as he laced up new kicks), I asked José directly, “Are these types of shoes safe to wear, or will they make a person — especially an overweight person — feel too unstable?”

With a wry smile (I’m guessing he’s fielded this question often lately), José told me I’ve essentially answered my own question with just one key word: Unstable.

Using my own worn-out gym shoe to demonstrate, José walked me through his expert opinion on “toning” shoes: “Only eight percent of people will actually see any real benefit from these shoes,” he said, pausing to laugh at my stunned reaction. “Eight percent of people strike on the outside [of their foot] and stay on the side. They’re called ‘supinators.’ They tend to have a high arch and don’t require a lot of stability from their shoes because their feet never cave in when they walk.” As it turns out, because they keep their weight on the outside edges of their shoes — where the EasyTone balance pods meet regular sole — “they’re the only ones who would ever see ANY results from this shoe. For everyone else, it has the potential to be dangerous.”

Dangerous? Really? “Sixty percent of people strike in the back [of the foot] and roll through at least partially before their foot caves toward center,” said José. These are “pronators,” and I’m apparently one of them, although my feet don’t roll in until the very last minute. “The [EasyTone] shoe isn’t stable for pronators because of the placement of the [balance pod] ball. These people need stability when they walk so they don’t injure themselves.” The final 30% of walkers can be described as “over-pronators” who tend to have flatter feet and lower arches. According to José, these strides don’t strike at the back but instead roll inward immediately, thereby also requiring a shoe with stability. While there’s no “weight limit” on either type of shoe, the unstable feeling they create could be hazardous to anyone more prone to falling or turning an ankle — big girls included.

Ultimately, after trying out the Shape-ups and getting schooled on pronation statistics as they apply to EasyTone designs, I felt very comfortable with my final shoe purchase — a running shoe designed for pronators, complete with a 1/4″ instep wedge to provide stability for my “ballerina feet” (as José described them). While the flashy gimmicks and promises of faster/easier/better toning and weight loss may be alluring — and the shoes may actually work for some — don’t forget that tried-and-true fitness tips are tried-and-true for a reason. Have your feet professionally sized and your walk (also called ‘gait’) evaluated, then invest in a pair of shoes that  provide support where you need it. . . and use them — often!

Have you guinea-pigged a pair of toning shoes? Tell us why you love ‘em or loathe ‘em in comments.

Even for weddings, my brothers and I don’t really do “traditional”

Chances are it’s happened to you already. Perhaps it was your sister, your best friend or your college roommate. You may have been over-the-moon excited, or you may have agreed with a pasted-on smile and a sinking stomach. Regardless of the circumstances, almost every fat girl will eventually face the question, “Will you stand up in our wedding?”

Having answered “yes” three times so far (2002, 2005 & 2008), I found myself saying “I wish I’d known back then…” several times as this Guide came together. Weddings can bring all kinds of emotions — both happy and bittersweet — to the surface, but for fat girls they also bring the potential stresses of conforming to a dress code, standing for long hours, and appearing in photos that will be kept forever. If that last sentence has you wanting to throw in the taffeta, hold onto your garters and see if our Guide gives you other ideas.

Make the best of your dress

Let’s get this out of the way: Unless you’re attending the Coolest, Most Laid-Back Bride in the History of Time, you’ll likely be asked to wear a dress that wouldn’t be your first choice, or possibly even something you’d wish on your worst enemy. For better or worse, brides sometimes begin planning their weddings with very specific mental images about how everything will look, and bridal party attire often plays a large role. Accept that fact. The sooner you do, the less painful everything else will be.

So, while you may not be determining fashions for the entire wedding party (more power to you if you are – go buy that awesome bride a drink!), some brides will be amenable to a request or suggestion if it’s approached just right. We recommend whittling your bridesmaid dress wish list (Remember: Not. Your. Wedding.) to the one item that’s your absolute deal breaker–and then avoiding the phrase “deal breaker” when you offer feedback. Maybe you know from experience that you’re too busty to pull off strapless without an NC-17 rating. Maybe skirt-and-top separates don’t provide enough coverage in back for you to move comfortably without exposing skin. Or maybe you’re just hoping and praying for a cut that doesn’t wrap your tummy or hips in a death grip. Part of signing on for bridesmaid duty is agreeing to be flexible, but your bride likely wants her ‘maids not to hate her — or at least to look good in photos.

Although the rule of thumb is to begin with a style that flatters the largest bridal party member(s), if your bride’s not a fat girl herself, she may not be hip to this idea… yet. Try to be as honest as possible with her while respecting her role as decision maker. (This part is especially important if she’s leaning toward a dress that doesn’t come in your size.) Offer to shop or pore over endless bridal mags with her (either in person or online). Show her some fabulous options that are fat-girl friendly and non-frumpy (see below). Share photos from a gorgeous wedding you attended where each bridesmaid selected her own dress in a color of the bride’s choosing.

If, despite your best efforts, the mandate is a dress you just can’t live with, the decision becomes yours. You can grin and bear it (and never, ever look at the photos) or politely decline. Both choices have their repercussions; follow your gut to decide which one is right for you in the long run.

Beyond the butt bow

Let’s assume that you’ve snagged some level of control over your fashion fate — where do you turn now? Fortunately, the world of plus-sized fashion continues to expand by the season, giving prospective bridal parties more flattering options than ever before. Superstores like David’s Bridal offer many dress styles (including separates, which allow you to mix different sizes for top and bottom) in sizes to 26, with some options extending to size 30. Sizes at online retailer Sydney’s Closet range from 0-44, though you’ll pay extra for sizes above 26. Other suggestions include inweddingdress.com (creative styles in sizes 2-26W), PS Bridal (discount online retailer specializing in plus-sized dresses and guaranteed fits, sizes 0-32+), designer Alfred Angelo (carries sizes 0-30W) and TheRoseDress.com (sizes ranging from 0-28 or small-6X, depending on designer). When my brother got married in 2008, my sister-in-law gave us free reign on dress selection. I thanked her profusely, then fell in love with a tea-length green number from IGIGI (see photo), although their bridal party pickings are currently a little slim.

When it comes to fabrics and cuts, remember that stiffer fabrics (satin, taffeta, velvet) don’t drape as nicely as more fluid options (crepe, chiffon, silk) and may add the illusion of more weight to your hips, waistline, etc. Ruffles and excessive pleating will do the same thing. A-line cuts generally flatter most figures and are more forgiving of larger hips and thighs, while interesting necklines or details draw the eye upward and away from your lower half. If you’re busty, be sure the top and straps offer enough support to keep you from spilling out.

Alter before altar

As we learned previously here at FGG, tailors can do wonders for your finished silhouette with a few nips and tucks. Consider enlisting a professional to help you look your best in bridesmaid couture — whether it’s a simple hem job for short girls or something more elaborate like contouring the waist, moving the straps or taking in the bust. The second time I was a bridesmaid (2005), the bride and all three of her attendants were plus-sized. Sizing for the burgundy dress she selected stopped at 24 back then, so we three ‘maids took our gowns to a local seamstress to have them sized more appropriately. In addition to hiking up the skirt a solid five inches for the shortest bridesmaid (yours truly), for two of us that meant adding a panel of fabric to the skirt, which we had wisely included with our purchase. It’s always better to purchase extra fabric at the same time you buy the dress; the odds are better that the color and sheen will more closely match your existing palette. Fair warning: The additional fabric and alterations tacked about $100 onto the price of the dress (thankfully, ours were purchased on sale).

A strong foundation

All the gown-selection care in the world won’t matter if you don’t dress the part underneath. For big girls like us, that may well mean taking one for the team and making peace with your Spanx. In addition to smoothing the line of your hips, tummy and thighs (which will help the fabric drape more smoothly and improve your silhouette for photos), the control provided by shapewear can give you a bit more confidence as you move down the aisle or shake it on the dance floor. I’ve fought a lifelong battle with shapewear but have had genuinely good results with the Spanx Super Power Panties. The top portion comes high enough to enclose my tummy without rolling down, and the legs don’t pinch, chafe or leave impressions, which is a huge relief. They’re pricey ($32) but they smooth the lumps that show on my hips otherwise.

Equally important is a good bra, especially if your dress is strapless or sleeveless. Both Lane Bryant and The Avenue offer convertible bras that can accommodate numerous strap configurations. If you plan to have your dress fitted, be sure to take and wear your convertible bra for the fitting so the tailor can adjust accordingly.

Accessorize your assets

If you get to select your own shoes for the big day, choose a pair that work with your dress but also won’t lead you to cursing under your breath two minutes into the ceremony. Chunkier heels provide more support and stability but don’t always look as cute with formal dresses. Heels make your legs look great, of course, but they also increase the weight-bearing pressure on the balls of your feet and the toes (good time as any to try gel inserts?). Even if you’ve hand-picked your shoes (and especially if you haven’t and are wearing bride-issued heels, sandals, etc.) consider packing a pair of ballet flats to change into for the dancing portion of the reception.

Some brides choose wedding jewelry as the “thank you” gift for their attendants; this is another area where it pays to be respectful but open with your bride; standard necklaces or bracelets may not fit a plus-sized girl’s neck, wrist, etc. My sister-in-law gave us knockoff pashmina shawls in 2008, which I loved. Even if your bridesmaid dress doesn’t include a wrap or shrug, arm-conscious girls can always bring one of their own to don after pictures (or before, with bride’s blessing).

Finally, if you’ve got the cash for it, say “yes” to any pre-wedding mani/pedi or massage pampering. It’s a great way to bond with the other members of the wedding party and the bride (especially if you live far apart), and it will help make you feel pretty, primped and sexy for the day of the wedding. Hair and makeup can be another glamorous treat (sometimes the bride pays, sometimes you do), but be sure you’re using a stylist that your group trusts. I’ll never be able to create the amazing makeup job done by the stylist from my Bridesmaid ’05 stint, but I’ve also seen friends horrified and bawling after a pro makeup job produced drag queen results.

Through it all, a little perspective

Years ago, I was the maid of honor in the wedding of one of my best high school friends. Things were chaotic from the start: She lived in Denver, I lived in Chicago, and the wedding was in Detroit. Truthfully, I had no business holding the MOH title, since her sister did most (okay, all) of the work. I was young, broke, recently un-engaged, and a train wreck of epic proportions. On the morning of the wedding, we all had our hair done at a local salon, and I foolishly turned myself (and my ultra-long, willful hair) over to the care of the stylist without much direction. She suggested an updo that involved knots of some sort; I deferred to her and zoned out. Ninety minutes later, I was sobbing on my mother’s shoulder because my lifeless hair was skinned back from my head, emphasizing all the wrong things about my heaviest-weight-ever features.

Looking back on it now, I wish I could relive that day. Not because I’d do my own hair (though I have ever since) or because I’d ditch the ridiculous white nylons I wore under the dress (yeah, I don’t know), but because my attitude was all wrong. Being asked to stand with someone as they take their vows is an honor and a privilege. True, it often costs us an arm, a leg and a few shreds of our dignity, but it means we’re loved and cherished enough to be in the innermost circle. We’re flattering ourselves if we think all of those eyes are on us during the wedding instead of on the bride and groom. And as a bridesmaid, you only have to “ooh” and “aah” over the photos once or twice, not mount them on your wall.

So I had knots on my head for one day out of my life…who cares? When I look at the one photo I hung from that day, I don’t see the stupid knots or the remains of my tear stains — I see how much Rebekah cared about me and wanted me to be by her side. I’m reminded about how much she still means to me. And I see a friendship worth wearing Spanx for. Hopefully, each of us is lucky enough to have at least one of those friendships in our lifetime.

What are your best bridal party tips and tricks, or your “oh, hell — never again!” bridesmaid stories? Share all the juicy details in comments.

This week’s Fat Girl’s Guide is the first installment of a two-part series. Part I takes you through all your cruise prep – from research to wardrobe. Next week’s Guide will be crammed with ways to make the most of your onboard experience.

A few things are certain on a cruise: Drinks will be ridiculously expensive. By Day 3, you’ll begin to recognize other passengers and to make up nicknames and stories for them (“Needs-to-Lay-Off-the-Spray-Tan Lady,” “Guy with Giant Smurf Tattoo”). If your name is “Angela,” you will be “The Girl Who Over-Packed” and you will never live it down.

You’ll notice one assumption conspicuously absent from that list of guarantees: Everyone will be thin, sporty and cover-model gorgeous.

If anyone has ever told you that fat people don’t cruise, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. The truth is, unless you’re taking a specialty voyage geared toward a particular audience (singles, families, LGBT community, under-30, BBW, etc.), your fellow travelers will represent all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and activity levels. Cruising while fat is the same as tackling any other opportunity — you just need a game plan. And maybe some Dramamine.

Determine your travel style.

The options are almost limitless when it comes to voyage length, destination, ship amenities and formality level, so a savvy girl and her traveling companion(s) need to set a few basic priorities before booking. Will you spend most of your time on the ship, or do you plan to see the sights at each port? What amenities are the most important to you? Fabulous spa? Tons of pools? Luxurious bedding? Unique on-board activities like bowling or a climbing wall? Do you want lots of kid-friendly activities or a more relaxed, adult pace? Lengthier cruises tend to attract more seasoned travelers and retirees, while voyages during school breaks will be loaded with kids. Compile a list of must-haves (spa!), negotiables (bedding), and deal-breakers (tons of kids if you’re looking for a singles experience) and see if you can find a cruise line and voyage that meets your needs.

Your dining experience requires more planning than you think.

We know fat girls sometimes feel more confident in casual wear vs. formal (or vice versa), so it’s important to know your comfort level before committing to a particular ship. Do you love the idea of getting dressed up in the evening, chatting with new friends and having a set dinner time? You’ll probably be a fan of more traditional cruises, offered by many lines (Carnival is one example). Although a number of lines have begun offering flexible dinner times or a 24-hour cafeteria on some ships, the traditional cruise dinner experience matches you with a set group of dining companions at a fixed time throughout your voyage. Dress codes are more formal as well, and some may require cocktail attire.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of chatting up new people, or if you enjoy a more casual experience and a higher level of flexibility, you’re definitely a candidate for “freestyle” cruising. Employed most notably by Norwegian, but gaining traction on other lines, freestyle is just what it sounds like — freedom to choose where and when you eat, and with whom you share meals. During our nine days aboard the Norwegian Jewel, my friends and I dined in eight different restaurants at times ranging from 5:30-10:30 p.m. With the exception of the Japanese steakhouse, we never shared tables with other passengers. Shorts, jeans and tank tops are off-limits everywhere but the buffet, but basic, casual cruise wear (check with your line for their rules on casual and formal dress) was appropriate for all other restaurants.

Veteran tip: Even if you cruise freestyle, be prepared to do some on-board planning. Reservations (made up to 24 hours in advance) are usually required at non-buffet restaurants, while a few of the boutique dining options (steak house, hibachi, Asian cuisine) required a $10-$20 cover charge.

Once you’ve set your priorities, dig in to researching, purchasing and planning.

Put time and thought into planning your cruise vacation. If you’ve heard good things about a particular cruise line, or spotted a great bargain, explore every inch of the web site, including the FAQ and virtual tours of staterooms, dining rooms and amenities. Many lines will offer basic info in the sections for first-time cruisers and some sites also offer a community area to network with other passengers.

For feedback beyond the colorful marketing pictures and exciting descriptions, turn to independent web sites like Cruise Diva, which offers summaries and reviews of each cruise line’s concept, in addition to the individual ships in its fleet. Cruise Critic and CruiseMates each provide news and reviews, as well as bustling online communities that are phenomenal resources. Comb through discussion threads by cruise line or topic (Cruise Critic is even searchable), or create a user account and post your own questions. Many of the message boardies are hardcore — having traveled on a dozen or more cruises — so their insights are usually pretty helpful. You also may be surprised to see how many of the questions pertain to weight issues or fears about size.

Veteran tip: Cruise lines take care of their online communities. On a recent  NCL sailing, members of an active message board group attended an exclusive on-board party and were invited to tour the ship’s bridge and rub elbows with the captain.

Read the fine print before booking excursions.

Both the cruise line’s web site and the independent message boards provide a wealth of information regarding excursions offered at every port. Again, corporate descriptions will be glossier, while you’ll get more of the down-and-dirty scoop from fellow travelers. Whether deciding on a cruise-sponsored excursion (higher costs but more accountability to you as the customer) or seeking an independent tour guide or vendor in a port city (lower costs, smaller group sizes, more customer responsibility to vet thoroughly), be sure you understand everything about the activities. Some excursions (zip lines, ATV travel, helicopter tours, some smaller boats or kayaks) will have clearly outlined weight limits of 200 lbs, 250 lbs, 400 pounds per 2-person boat, etc. Many tours and excursions will outline the exertion level involved or provide a list of activities a participant must be able to accomplish (climbing stairs, walking a mile, walking on uneven terrain, climbing into and out of boat, etc.). Again, many travelers on message boards will have done these activities and can give you honest feedback. If you feel nervous or unsure about any portion of a description, never hesitate to contact the cruise line or the vendor.

While there are definitely some activities off-limits to larger travelers (I doubt I’ll ever be welcome on a zip line!), it’s important to realize the vast majority of the options are things most of us can do. There wasn’t a  remotely skinny person in our Caribbean travel group, yet we snorkeled, climbed catamaran ladders, swam with dolphins, hiked down to view a volcano, rode tenders out to play with stingrays, and toured an island on an 18-person bus that resembled a clown car. Be honest with yourself about your limitations, but don’t let worries over your size keep you from trying something new.

Pack a few different swimwear pieces.

The two-suit rule is a gimme; no one likes climbing into a wet swimsuit, and sardine-can staterooms don’t afford great options for ventilated drying. Aside from doubling up, however,  you may want to consider multiple styles of swimwear (like a skirted option and a one-piece, even if you’re vehemently pro-skirt) or top & bottom separates that you can mix and match, especially once you determine which excursions you’ll be taking. Dressing for a tour of Mayan ruins or a day at the beach is pretty easy, but several of the tropical excursions involve multiple components that require you to be clothed one minute (in a local restaurant, for example) and ready for swimming the next. For these swim/land hybrid excursions, don’t wear a swim dress with a built-in skirt if you hope to put a pair of shorts or pants over it for the land portion. Few things are as uncomfortable as trudging around for several hours with a soaking-wet mass of fabric balled up at your waist (the skirt part on many swim dresses takes forever to dry). I MacGuyvered this problem when I encountered it by gathering the skirt at one side with an elastic hair band, but believe me, it was not my finest hour.

Look for quick-drying, versatile, over-the-suit options, like these multipurpose shorts from Junonia, available in sizes up to 4X. We also like the selection of swim shorts and activewear from lines such as Lands End, Danskin or Faded Glory. And even if you’re not leaving the ship, remember to pack a cover-up, sarong or pair of swim shorts for the lengthy trips between your stateroom and the pool.

Veteran tip: Plan your excursion outfits to be useful regardless of activity order. Our day in St. Lucia was described chronologically as land/lunch/swim/sail, but we learned that half the groups go in reverse order to manage crowding with the tour vendors.

Supportive, broken-in shoes or sandals are a must.

Whether you plan to disembark at every port or just chill on the ship, prepare to do a good amount of walking. Cruise ships are enormous floating civilizations, and the distance you’ll cover just traveling between your room and the various locations onboard will surprise you. Additionally, some excursions may involve wet conditions, walking over varied terrain, climbing up or down stairs, etc. I’ve never been able to walk comfortably in flip-flops; they don’t stay on my feet and they provide zero support. If you’re like me, consider sandals from Chaco or Teva, which offer good tread while providing ventilation and supportive ankle straps. There’s also the Crocs option. Yes, they are as fugly as shoes come, but – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they were a godsend for the port days when our itinerary involved a sloshy catamaran ride, stops to swim and snorkel, hiking down into a volcano, and a bus tour of the island – all in a single outfit. Crocs were easy to clean when sandy or dirty, they went from wet to dry conditions without problem, and I didn’t care if I ruined or lost them.

Veteran tip: Get a rush of accomplishment by wearing a pedometer to track all those steps you’ll take during your cruise. Plus, you’ll know without a doubt you’ve earned that trip to the midnight chocoholic buffet!

Come back next Thursday for Part II — all about selecting/maximizing your stateroom, on-board accommodations and (of course) the food! In the meantime: Been cruisin’? Tell us your packing must-haves or share tips for finding a fat girl-friendly ship and excursions that excite.

New shoes by frageelay

Happy Birthday to FGG Editor, Toni, pictured above with her new fall shoes.

Today wraps up our All About Fall Flickr portrait contest, and Toni and I are pleased to announce that October’s winner is Playing in the Leaves from happywalks. Congratulations, Regina! Head on over to Lonna’s Etsy shop and pick out the book bangle of your choice, and email the link to it along with your address to letters@fatgirlsguidetoliving.com

Thanks, everyone, for playing!

November’s portrait contest theme is: COOKING

The holidays approacheth, for many of us the chilly weather is here, and I can hear pans and tins and rolling pins shuffling in kitchens far and wide. So snap a photo of yourself, or have someone else snap it for you, in the act of baking, frying, prepping, buying, anything associated with cooking. Then upload it to the FGG Flickr Group for a chance to be featured in FGG’s Photo of the Week each Sunday. At the end of the month, we’ll select one prize winner for November. Good luck!

Toni, hot on the trail

It’s the heart of summer in my part of the world. I’ll confess that where I live, the humidity and prolific, determined mosquitoes keep me off the trails in midsummer, but my day pack is always ready for those dry, breezy sunny days. What’s great about hiking is that just about anyone can do it, even if it means a short stroll through the woods at a local park, and it’s affordable. Best of all: it’s tough to walk in nature, letting everyday cares fall away, and not feel your spirits lifted.

In this entry, I’ll talk about what to wear. Next week, I’ll cover what to bring and some tips on hiking safely. After that, it’s up to you to hit the trails!

I’m often surprised to hear that people assume you need hiking boots to hike. I think hiking boots are a good idea if you’ll be backpacking and/or scrambling over rocky, mountainous or otherwise steep terrain. But if you’re a flatlander like me, either mid-height hikers, especially if your ankles are weak, or trail runners (I love my Montrails) are usually sufficient. Why trail runners? They’re a bit sturdier than walking or even regular running shoes. If all you have are generic athletic shoes, that’s fine, but make sure they’re in decent condition – the extra money you spend on quality fat girl footwear helps prevent injury and wear and tear on our bodies due to carrying extra weight.

Check out the new Outdoor.Zappos.com, which lets you search for shoes by activity, including hiking and offers the same free shipping policy as the main Zappos site. You know your body best – if you have Type II diabetes, weak ankles, or chronic foot pain, shop for the footwear that will serve you best. I realize that specialized shoes can be expensive, but due to a prior ankle injury, this is one area where I know that you get what you pay for.

As far as clothing, comfort and durability are key. Look for breathable fabrics that wick moisture away from the body. If your climate is prone to sudden changes, bring layers (a light jacket or rain poncho) and look for “convertible” pants that zip off into shorts. Junonia.com offers some in plus sizes, but I really wish they didn’t have that annoying tapered leg, mom jeans cut.

This is where I veer off trail momentarily to ask retailers like Title 9 Sports to carry their cool looking gear in plus sizes. Pretty please?

L.L. Bean has some–but not many–plus size offerings, as does Land’s End (I hike in these). Bermuda or bicycling shorts are a good option for comfort and coverage, and I’ve found they don’t ride up as much as shorter or wider-cut shorts.

Of course, outdoors-specific clothing can be spendy, so look around for bargains where you can and find stuff that’s comfortable while you walk. You don’t want anything that will ride or bunch up while you’re walking or that will hold sweat in. I’ve noticed exercise clothing made from breathable fabric at big box retailers like Target, so hop on that trend if you find affordable plus size athletic tops. Just check the return policy to make sure you can take things back after you’ve trail tested them.

That being said, these are my favorite underwear for keeping cool and comfy on the trail. I still haven’t found an exercise bra I like (share your recommendations here and look for a guide on them soon!), but my ideal workout bra would be breathable and supportive with convertible straps for tanks and sleeveless tees on the trail.

Stay tuned for next week’s guide to hot weather hiking – what to bring.

Tell us about your favorite hiking wear – who has the best quality at decent (or even bargain) prices?