The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

super gurrl by JamieBates

We’ve all been there: Saturday morning’s long, impatient to-do list competes with the more compelling siren song of a warm blanket and a good book. Or a jam-packed day at the office – complete with a two-hour lunch delay to solve the latest crisis – burns this morning’s stockpile of energy down to embers. Or on the one day you get to sleep in, the kids decide to wake an hour and a half early to place an order for Mickey Mouse pancakes. While everyone faces days that test their endurance, the extra weight (and sometimes the negative self-talk) that fat girls carry in addition to our everyday burdens can make it tough to find an energy boost when we need it. Next time life demands a Superwoman setting, try refueling your energy reserves with one of these techniques.

Move it or lose it

It doesn’t take a physicist to grasp that whole “a body at rest stays at rest” law of motion deal. The more we sit without doing something active, the more inclined we are to. . .  sit without doing something active. So get up, already (this is one of those times when I need to take my own advice). Push back from the cube desk every 30 minutes and walk a lap around the office, fill your water bottle, etc. Set an egg timer and clean like crazy for exactly 10 minutes. Do five of anything resembling a jumping jack. Walk for just five minutes, then assess if you want to continue moving. For many people, the simple act of getting the blood flowing and the heart beating a little faster is all it takes to shake off the afternoon drag.

What’s your cup o’ tea?

When faced with an early morning or tough afternoon, many of us automatically reach for the caffeine boost of coffee or soda. Next time, consider swapping that Diet Coke for a cup of tea, which can provide energizing benefits without dehydrating you or posing caffeine’s risk of addiction. Popular choices include rooibos tea (antioxidant-rich and said to help soothe headaches and muscle aches, as well as improving digestion) and teas made with spearmint (light, refreshing taste and benefits said to include improved digestion and a limiting of excess hair growth on women – bonus!). Check out TeaBenefits.com for ideas about the tea that best suits your health and mood.

DIY mantra

Stuart Smalley had “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” My best friend posts song lyrics or Bible verses on Facebook when she needs to pick herself up or focus. As ridiculous as it sounds, my own “daily affirmation” came from a fortune cookie I received last summer: “You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.” (I figured if a cookie takes the time to call you out in no uncertain terms, it’s probably wise to listen.)

Having a mantra doesn’t have to be boring, trite or sound like a corporate mission statement — it’s simply about identifying what drives you. What’s the motivating force behind your job, your activities, your relationships or your choices? Are you working toward a family? A home? Better health? An established industry name? If you can connect to the root idea of what makes a task important, you may be able to find the reserves to push through it with gusto.

Make like Gumby

Back in November, Tee published the (awesome) Fat Girl’s Guide to Stretching and we learned how easy — and energizing — it could be to incorporate basic stretches into our daily routine. All those expert tips and sage advice? Still true! the important thing to add is that regardless of your lifestyle, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a student, a high-profile corporate exec, or working two jobs to pay rent, simple stretches are a take-anywhere, try-anywhere cure for flagging energy in just a few minutes. You don’t need equipment and you don’t need total privacy (which is more than we can say for the next tip) or intensive training, because moves as simple as neck stretches and shoulder rolls provide big benefits and can be done right from your desk.

Gimme an ‘O!’

We’re no longer in the Victorian age, ladies, so I’m just going to say it: orgasms are good for us. Whether achieved solo or with a partner, the release of endorphins orgasms provide is similar to that of a runner’s high, and the benefits include everything from reduced stress levels to pain management to curbed appetites. Not bad for something that feels great, right?

It may seem counter-intuitive to recommend an activity that provides such deep relaxation (and frequently, sleepiness), but a clear mind and a 20-minute power nap will often do wonders for both attitude and productivity. Plus, not every burst of energy is physical; feeling empowered and energized can just as easily be a mental strategy. How much more confidence and enthusiasm do you project when you feel good about yourself and your body? And what better way to connect with your body’s innate awesomeness than through some, shall we say, quality time and a toe curler (or two)? I rest my case — and ask that you not try this in the office.

It’s essential

Aromatherapy evokes or enhances different moods through scent, either in the form of candles or essential oils. Small amounts of the concentrated oils can be sniffed from a vial or jar, applied to pressure points like the temples, feet, or wrists, or heated in a diffuser to fill a room with fragrance. To revitalize and energize, consider scents like tea tree, mint, basil, lime, cedar, rosewood, ginger and frankincense. Oils and candles are available at retailers like Bath & Body Works, as well as smaller, niche stores and online vendors. Check out AromaWeb for more information.

Pump up the jams

Over dinner last month, my 50-something friend Iris confided the secret of her recent weight loss and sudden take-no-prisoners approach to life: Quite simply, she got a new attitude. “It’s Patti LaBelle,” she said with a grin. “I get on my treadmill and as soon as ‘New Attitude’ comes on, I’m ready to rock!”

Whether your own musical magic trick is an “anthem song” like Iris’s, or just a tune that takes you to a particularly confident, empowered time and place, music is a powerful tool – so make it work for you when you need it most. Flood your headphones with the iPod mix of songs that always gets your blood pumping (mine always includes “Hazy Shade of Winter” by The Bangles). Or choose a song with lyrics that speak to your mood and blast it while you work, cook, drive, fold laundry, or just sing at the top of your lungs.

Judge if you will, but all it takes is the opening pulse of Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” to remind me of the 4 a.m. lakefront reality check/pep talk delivered by a dear friend last summer. In a moment of flagging confidence and confusion about the future, he helped me cut through my fears and self sabotage as Gaga wailed and waves crashed in the background. A year later, I still play that song when I need a reminder that Mike was right and everything’s “gonna be okay. . . (just dance).”

Regis, I’d like to phone a friend

If you’ve read this far, you may have noticed that I frequently mention my friends when I write–they’re my extended (and surrogate) family and, often, my inspiration. Our friends are able to see the amazing qualities we possess but can’t always acknowledge in ourselves. So it stands to reason that these are the same people who may have a motivating trick or two up their sleeves when we’re feeling drained. Reaching out to a friend via phone, text or e-mail takes only moments, but the belly laugh or the calibration with your truest self that s/he provides may be what you need to feel rejuvenated.

How do you stay energized? Where do you turn for an energy boost when you most need it? Tell us in comments.

Photo by Mike Baird

This question landed in our inbox this morning, and because time was of the essence, we decided to (ahem) gallop with it:

Hello! I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m going horse riding for the first time for a hen’s weekend and am more than a little anxious about it. I’d really appreciate any and all advice.”

This isn’t the first time we’ve received a question about horseback riding, particularly whether a bigger gal might be too much for a horse to handle. We poked around online a bit and found that there is some controversy in this area; obviously people of all shapes and sizes can and do ride horses, but in the equestrian community, opinions can be pretty strong about how big is too big, but reading between the lines it seems that it is possible to ride responsibly if you’re overweight.

We spoke with Mary Midkiff, founder of Women & Horses,™ which covers female-specific training with an eye toward the care of and empathy for the horses while riding. Many big, tall men ride horses, and we wondered whether this was analogous to a 250-pound woman mounting up, and Midkiff agreed. “You could hurt the horse if the horse is too small,” she said. “For a person of that size, I’d want to see them on a draft horse or a draft type horse–in other words, a heavy-boned, bigger horse.” Before riding, call and ask if there are any weight limitations for riders, because every place will have horses of different sizes and abilities, and every stable will have different preferences about riders’ ability levels and size.

What to wear

We’ve all seen cowboys riding horses, and cowboys (and girls) wear jeans, right? Not if you’re a beginner, says Midkiff. “They’ll rub you around the knee, calf, and upper thigh, and the seams at the crotch can be uncomfortable over time.” She suggests investing in a pair of plus size riding tights, or if you’re not sure you’ll be riding often, wear pants with a straight leg that stretch well with some padded bicycling shorts underneath. “Some women are embarrassed to wear riding tights because they are tight and they do show a lot, but you can wear a longer shirt or jacket over them,” says Midkiff. Skip the yoga pants or boot cut jeans if you’ll be riding English style (as opposed to Western style–read about the differences here), to prevent getting caught in the stirrups.

There’s a reason cowboy boots have heels, and so should your footwear when riding. A shoe or boot with a 1″ heel will keep your foot from sliding through the stirrup, so leave your gym shoes at home. Some Western saddles have toe guards, but unless you know your stable will have them, don’t count on that. Midkiff insists on protective headgear, too: “There are equestrian-specific helmets that meet the safety standards for riding and run in the $30-50 range,” she says. Most, if not all outfitters provide helmets, but Midkiff suggests bringing a bicycle helmet along just in case. Finally, here’s where having an Enell or similarly structured, high impact, minimum bounce sports bra will serve you well, because there will be bouncing–even more if your horse decides to trot, canter, or is spooked.

Before you ride

Horseback riding doesn’t just bounce your jiggly parts, it also works your inner thighs in ways most other activities don’t. Therefore, stretching the inner thighs is important and warming up the core muscles with some pelvic tilts is a good idea, too.  “Always ask your outfitter for a mounting block or to stand on a hay bale – something secure and sturdy – to help you mount the horse,” says Midkiff. “For one thing, you don’t want to stand on anything unstable where you can lose your balance, and if you mount from the ground, you torque the horse’s back.” A good outfitter will demonstrate how to mount and then help you properly–and safely–climb aboard.

After riding

If you’re sore after riding, Midkiff recommends a hot bath with bath salts to soothe aching muscles. Expect soreness in the inner thighs, glutes, and piriformis muscles. “You’re doing a lot of gripping with the inner thighs just naturally while riding,” says Midkiff. “So when you get off, you’ll feel like one of those bowlegged cowboys.” For bruises, she suggests arnica gel or lotion, which you can find at most natural or health food stores.

Girls, share your own experiences with horseback riding in comments, and if you love horses, too, consider contributing to an organization right in Toni’s back yard, the Hooved Animal Humane Society.

I stretch most mornings to boost energy and stay flexible

As a freshman in high school about, oh…123456…24 years ago, I had an unfortunate stint as a cheerleader. At the time there wasn’t much available for girls at my school who wanted to do something athletic, so a friend and I dragged our nerdy, unpopular selves down to try out for varsity cheerleading – and were psyched (and surprised) to make the cut. Once in it just wasn’t me, so I left after the first season, but it was worth it for one great takeaway: the value of stretching.

Without it, that mid-air Russian split-gone-wrong in the fall of ’86 would have probably done damage to more than just my ego, and I doubt I would still be capable today, at a size 20/22, of contorting myself to show off the feet-behind-the-ears trick.

That frightening and ridiculous visual? You’re welcome.

Unfortunately, stretching has a reputation among many non-athletes as the boring thing you do before you run or work out. A prelude to pain and agony. A dull precaution. Useless to anyone who isn’t about to voluntarily launch into an intense period of self-afflicted exercise.

Not so. Stretching, if done correctly and regularly, boosts energy, increases flexibility, builds strength and balance, and ignites feelings of wellness and happiness – especially for women who don’t otherwise get much if any exercise. In fact! It can get pretty addicting in its ease, convenience and power, and you may soon find that you and stretching are arm-in-arm BFFs.

We asked a few experts to lend their experience and advice on stretching for overweight women, and got a mountain of notes and great answers. We’ve distilled those into fine points and suggestions you can start using right now.

Craig Galloway, certified personal trainer
http://www.catzsports.com

Stretching activates the muscle and connective tissues, as well as the lymphatic system in your body that acts as a pump to keep fluids moving. When you stretch, you’re waking up parts of your body that may not get woken up otherwise. When you don’t, that pump and other parts of your system shut down, trapping fluids and resulting in symptoms like swollen fingers and ankles, and making you stiff and sore after long periods of sitting or lying down.

Stretching is an easy way to help move those fluids along and get your muscles awake and ready to work for you.

Craig’s tips:

1. Stand in a doorway with two hands holding on to the door jam and walk your body through the door. That stretch opens your chest right up, and done regularly can improve posture and circulation – which have been shown to affect everything from aging to disease.

2. Plan your stretches until it becomes habit. Set an alarm every hour and a half or so to get up from your desk and do some basic stretching. It doesn’t take much to get a big benefit.

3. Remember to keep hydrated; your muscle tissues are more receptive to stretching when hydrated and less likely to pull or be injured. Water is best – stay away from sports drinks, especially if you’re trying to lose weight.

Debra Mazda, exercise physiologist and certified personal trainer
http://www.debramazda.com

For women who aren’t used to doing a lot of moving, stretching is a great way to begin elongating those muscles, which tend to shorten up when you’re not using them. Muscles get lazy just like we do. Just a little bit of stretching gets blood flowing, and for women used to being sedentary, that can have a big impact. It also helps prevent injury both in becoming more active and in every day life, like when you’re reaching up into a cabinet or down to pick something up. Psychologically, it gives you the benefit of knowing you’re doing something really good for yourself.

Debra’s tips:

1. My favorite stretch is lying in bed each morning, pulling my knees to my chest, and rolling from side to side. It keeps the spine flexible and the blood flowing.

2. Anyone with a heart condition or high blood pressure should never drop their head below their heart. For these women, stretching should be done from a standing position, doing arm circles or stretching their arms up over their heads, or while lying in bed. If you’ve never done much stretching, I recommend being supervised in the beginning by a trainer. Bouncing while stretching is a big no-no, any stretch should be held for at least 10 seconds. Never stretch hot muscles in a cold room.

3. A stability ball, used properly, is great for overweight women who want to start to stretch and build flexibility, confidence and strength. Just the act of sitting on it, with a straight back and legs wide apart, works your core abdominal muscles because they’re keeping you balanced, even if you don’t feel it.

Joy Di Palma, exercise physiologist and certified personal trainer
http://www.trainerjoy.com

One of the greatest benefits of stretching is that you’re able to increase your range of motion, which means your limbs and joints can move further before an injury occurs. Overweight women [often] lack flexibility and a lack of flexibility is now seen to be a major cause of general health problems and sports injury for overweight women…linked to everything from stress, back pain, and even osteoarthritis.

Joy’s tips:

1. Lie down on the floor with your buttocks against a wall and your legs straight up the wall. Slowly flex your toes towards your knees, hold for two seconds and repeat five times. This will loosen up your lower back and stretch your hamstrings and hips giving instant relief for tired backs.

2. Never hold a painful stretch. You should back off just to where it’s not painful and hold for the duration of the stretch (a good 15-30 seconds).

3. Bosu balls, used properly, are great tools for reaching a thorough stretch. Foam rollers are also excellent to use to “roll out” your leg muscles, hamstrings and gluts. Use mats to stretch on create a softer surface for the back muscles, to increase comfort and safety.

Gina Ianniello, exercise physiologist
http://www.kingleyhealth.com

The benefits of overall stretching is that it keeps your joints functioning as they should be.  Chronically tight muscles can lead to limited range of motion around a joint, which can cause pain and injury. Excess weight puts stress on joints and causes muscles to tighten (especially calf and hamstring), so stretching is especially beneficial for women who are overweight.

Gina’s tips:

1. For a standing hamstring stretch, stand facing a short bench or chair – place one heel on the bench, toes pointing up.  Keep the leg straight and lean forward at the hips, make sure your back foot is facing forward and your hips are squared, shoulders are pulled back and your back is straight (no hunching or rounding of the back).  You will feel the stretch behind your leg in your hamstring. Hold for 20-30 seconds and repeat on alternating legs.

2. Stretching straps or ropes can be used for stretches lying on your back on a mat, and can be helpful for women who lack the balance of stretching their hamstrings in a standing position if they find it hard to balance on one foot.  Lie on your back and place the rope/strap around the bottom of your foot. Keeping the other knee bent, hold the strap with your hands and actively assist raising your leg in the air until you feel the stretch behind the leg.

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Do you stretch? if so, what are some of the benefits you’ve found in stretching? Let us know!