The Fat Girl's Guide to Living

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When I mentioned to a friend that this week’s Fat Girl’s Guide would be on dental hygiene, her initial reaction was skepticism — and a little bit of a bristle. “Why is that a topic?” she asked, “I don’t need to brush my teeth differently because I’m fat.”

She’s right, of course. The basics on brushing (twice daily, and after consuming sugary foods) don’t change based on a person’s weight. But many of us (including me!) might be surprised to learn that ongoing studies over the past five years have focused on the relationship between obesity and periodontal disease. Amazingly, something as deceptively simple as healthy gums can influence a woman’s risk for serious conditions such as diabetes and heart disease.

Despite this riveting explanation, my friend’s eyes glazed over as I spoke, until she finally proclaimed that a whole post on dental health would be “boring.” Readers, I’ll grant you that healthy gums may not seem as exiting as finding comfy undies or learning how to flirt, but we keep it real here at FGG, and that means balancing the sexy with the sensible. Right now there are just a few short paragraphs standing between you and a healthier, happier mouth. I think we’re both up for that challenge, don’t you?

Why your dental habits matter

Let’s start with a few basics. Why is the importance of brushing, flossing and visits to the dentist something that’s drilled into our heads from the time we can hold a toothbrush? (Hint: It’s not just about making sure your dragon breath doesn’t kill living creatures.)

We all know how a “morning mouth” feels – the unclean, almost furry feeling on our teeth and gums. My best friend describes this sensation by saying, “My teeth are wearing sweaters.” In language that’s a bit more technical, the “sweatery” feeling is the sticky film of plaque that has accumulated on the teeth. Caused by bacteria present in the mouth, plaque happens to everyone — young or old, fat or thin. If plaque isn’t removed daily, it hardens into yellow- or brown-colored tartar, which is more difficult to remove.

I’m admittedly not a medical expert in the field of – well, anything, really. So in writing this week’s Guide, I enlisted the professional opinion of Dr. Phyllis Cook, DDS, MPH, PA. Dr. Cook owns her own periodontal practice in North Carolina, and her first order of business was defining for me the difference between a dentist and a periodontist: Periodontists complete three years of advanced training beyond dental school, and their focus is primarily in the supporting structures of the teeth, gums and bone. A high number of the procedures she completes are restorative or reconstructive in nature, as she works on a variety of patients with periodontal disease.

What is periodontal disease?

While it may sound complicated, periodontal disease is just the technical term for gum disease (“periodontal” means “around the tooth”). Most people have heard of the mildest form of periodontal disease, gingivitis, which causes red, swollen gums that bleed easily. If gingivitis remains untreated, it can progress into periodontitis — characterized by plaque growing below the gum line, generating toxins that result in a breakdown of the surrounding gum tissue and bone.

Dr. Cook explains how gingivitis can progress to periodontitis: “When bacteria is present in the patient’s gums, the bone structure moves away from the tooth. This causes deeper pockets between the gum and bone, causing the teeth to loosen. The deeper pockets allow more bacteria to gather, escalating the disease even farther if nothing is done to manage it.”

“Periodontal disease is never cured,” she says. “It’s only managed with proper dental hygiene and routine visits for cleanings.” In short: Periodontal disease never fully goes away and can result in your teeth falling out. Two very good reasons to avoid at all costs.

Women face unique risks for periodontal disease

As women of any size, the hormonal fluctuations we experience during our lifetimes (during major life events such as puberty, pregnancy and menopause, or as a result of taking birth control) do more than affect our moods, appetites, complexions, etc. Those same hormones also cause changes in our gum tissue, which can leave us more susceptible to periodontal disease.

“When a patient is pregnant or on birth control , her gum tissues hyper-react to bacteria (plaque). The gums become swollen and bleed easily,” Dr. Cook says. Conversely, “At the more mature phase of a woman’s life, the lack of hormones can also change gum tissue and bone density. ” Since we’ve already learned how vital bone integrity is to healthy bones and teeth, it makes sense that women with lower bone density (because of osteoporosis, for example) might be at higher risk for gum disease.

How diabetes affects periodontal disease

“While being overweight does not cause diabetes, it is a leading contributor,” Dr. Cook says. “If the diabetes or glycemic index is not controlled the body does not defend effectively against the bacterial challenge of periodontal disease. Maintaining your dental health makes managing your diabetes easier.” Similarly, she says, studies have shown that if a person is managing her dental health, positive effects can be seen in the management of her diabetes.”

For overweight women currently working to manage their diabetes, as well as for women with higher risk because of weight and family history, “Good oral hygiene is critical, along with food choices that will control blood sugar levels,” according to Dr. Cook.

Gum disease increases your risk for heart disease

Are you ready for a sobering fact? Researchers have found that people with periodontal disease are almost twice as likely to suffer from coronary artery disease as those with a clean bill of dental health. Don’t see the connection? Neither did I.

“The mouth is the gateway to the body,” Dr. Cook says, “and bacteria is present in everyone’s mouth.” Those higher bacteria levels present in patients with periodontal disease mean there’s more bacteria attaching to fatty plaques inside the arteries and contributing to the clogging and blockage of arteries.

While gum disease alone doesn’t cause heart disease, Dr. Cook says, “Chronic inflammation in the body is one more contributor — just like cholesterol.” Knowing that heart disease is a leading cause of death for adult women — and that obesity increases the risk of heart disease — it makes good sense for overweight women not to compound this risk with poor dental hygiene.

Maintaining good dental health isn’t complicated

The good news is that keeping your teeth and gums healthy is far easier than sweating in the gym for hours a day. In fact, like me, you likely already know all the right stuff you should be doing. . . but don’t always accomplish.

There’s no great secret to maintaining good dental health, Dr. Cook says. The key is to create a daily routine that includes smart, healthy food choices and consistent dental hygiene. Brushing your teeth (and tongue) after every meal and flossing daily will help keep your mouth in good shape between professional cleanings. And if you’re the type of person who spends 20 minutes in the toothpaste aisle agonizing over the endless choices and recommendations, you’re stressing too much, Dr. Cook says.

“The type of toothpaste can help if it makes the patient use it more,” she says, “but it is only of benefit while it’s is being used.” The real result doesn’t come from this brand or that brand, but rather from the mechanical removal of the plaque/bacteria accomplished by brushing and flossing.

And if you slack occasionally on brushing after every single meal, be sure you don’t slack on this: “The single most important thing is to have regular cleanings and dental and gum examinations by a dentist and/or periodontist,” Dr. Cook says. These exams serve to evaluate periodontal health, allow feedback on oral hygiene and provide instruction on ways to improve one’s dental hygiene.

“Regular examinations for patients without periodontal disease should happen every six to twelve months.” If periodontal disease has been identified and treated in a patient, the frequency of “recare” (repeat visits for cleanings and check-ups) is specific to the patient and can be as frequent as every two months.

Why diet is important to dental health

“Foods high in sugar both natural sugars and refined sugars should be avoided because they contribute to tooth decay and periodontal disease,” Dr. Cook says. “When we see patients getting cavities these days, it is mostly attributed to non-diet soda or sugary mints on a very frequent basis.”

In addition to sugary drinks and mints, Dr. Cook lists non-sugar-free gum and candy, grapes, raisins (remember: high natural sugar content), and foods with high refined sugar content (like many breads) as ones that should be avoided or enjoyed in moderation. Tooth-friendly foods she’d love to see her patients consume more frequently include vegetables, proteins, milk, unsweetened dairy products, and sugar-free candy and beverages.

With a little bit of planning and a lot of diligence, maintaining good dental health is an attainable goal for almost everyone. And as someone who occasionally plays fast and loose with the notion of brushing after every meal, I’m ready to invest the few minutes a day it will take to help safeguard my long-term health. What about you?

Information from Dr. Phyllis Cook’s web site and The American Academy of Periodontology contributed to this article. For a quick and easy way to assess your own risk of periodontal disease, take the quiz found here.

Sometimes the answer is obvious: Cut your losses and move on.
(image by stevenvanwel)

Dear FGG,

I’ve been on a few dates with a guy I met on a dating site. We’re not exclusive or anything, and he’s kind of fun to be with. But almost from the beginning of our relationship, he’s been critical of my appearance, particularly my weight. He’s always making little comments about how thin people behave or remarking on how much better my clothes would fit if I’d join a gym and shed a few pounds. What’s really funny is that he has a bit of a belly and love handles, but I don’t mind stuff like that. The other night at dinner, he actually asked if I should be eating a salad instead of hamburger! I really liked him at first, but these comments are getting old fast. Should I stick it out and let him get to know me and see if he’ll accept me the way that I am?

No.

Image taken moments before my kids snapped them up

When a couple of my friends were diagnosed with dairy allergies and lactose intolerance, it made me think differently about how I shopped–what would I do if I couldn’t just casually reach for a container of Kefir, crumbled feta cheese for my lunchtime salads, or (hold me) ice cream for special occasions? With this non-dairy dilemma in mind, I spotted these little gems in the frozen novelty section of our grocery store and decided to give them a try.

The verdict: YUM. But only if you like coconut (my husband voted no, but one non-coconut-loving kid voted yes–both said the flavor was subtle) and don’t mind smaller portion sizes. I’m not a fan of the 100-calorie pack trend, not just because of the premium we pay for additional packaging both environmentally and economically, but because so many diet-oriented foods simply don’t taste good. Bottom line: I’d rather have a smaller portion of something delicious–maybe even decadent–that’s prepared with fresh ingredients and care than something that tastes and feels like a consolation prize. These cool treats fit that bill nicely, with the added bonus of being healthier than ice cream.

So Delicious does make vanilla sandwiches made with soy milk (including full-sized), but in my opinion they’re not as flavorful. I haven’t tried the Neapolitan variety, but they look fun (let us know if you have and what you think!). For those avoiding dairy and soy, Turtle Mountain also makes a So Delicious coconut milk yogurt (on my “to try” list) and even Kefir (also on that list). It’s exciting to see options like this out there for those of us who either can’t have or want to scale back on dairy products for a more varied diet.

Girls, tell us: have you found any delicious work-arounds for your dietary restrictions? Tell us about them in the comments section.

kiss by chatblanc1

You know you’ve watched her.

She’s the girl at a party with a gravitational pull that effortlessly draws men into her orbit. Or the stranger on the train whose laughter fills the car two stops after she boards, delighting the random passenger sharing her seat. Maybe she’s even a friend of yours — a fellow fat girl, perhaps — and you’ve long envied her ability to meet people and generate positive interest in such a breezy, natural way.

As you watch her, the questions pop into your head, unbidden: “Just what is it about her that draws men/women/anyone with a pulse so immediately? What’s her trick?” And possibly, painfully: “No one seems to care that she’s overweight — so why is it so hard for me?”

The fact is there are two kinds of women in this world: The natural-born flirts and those of us who wish we knew their secret. Or perhaps there’s a third kind: Women who have learned to approach flirtation as a craft that may be studied and practiced, a means to expanding our social circles, a boost for our self esteem, a fun way to pass the time — or all of the above.

Flirting prep: It’s about much more than our weight

If you were expecting a separate flirting playbook for the plus-size woman, forget about it. Although some men may be more drawn to our rockin’ curves, there’s no “How to Flirt if You’re Overweight” manual. That being said, we big girls sometimes need to get out of our own way when it comes to meeting and chatting up new people.

“Flirting is an attitude — I think that’s number one,” says Fran Greene, former Director of Flirting at Match.com and author of the recently released book The Flirting Bible: Your Ultimate Photo Guide to Reading Body Language, Getting Noticed, and Meeting More People Than You Ever Thought Possible. Rather than any one specific action or technique, Greene explains, successful flirting at any size comes from being self-confident, positive and enthusiastic.

“Flirting crosses all genders, weights and sexualities,” Greene says. “It’s about your confidence and your attitude, about the way you present yourself and make the most about what you have. It’s not about being a ’10,’ but about having this air about you — a combo of chutzpah and charisma.”

“But wait!” I can almost hear some of our readers saying. “If I went through every day feeling self-confident, positive and full of chutzpah, would I require sage, thought-provoking FGG columns such as this one?” A fair point, dear readers. When I broach the issue with Greene, she suggests positive self-talk and the support of friends as tools to help get us over the confidence hump. Despite her credentials (licensed clinical social worker by training; dating and relationships counselor by practice), Greene can’t bestow the Presto Change-o Magic Bullet of Confidence, any more than I can — it just takes work and practice.

Laurie Davis, online dating coach and founder/CEO of eFlirt Expert, agrees that confidence is crucial. “If you’re feeling self-conscious, choose one thing that’s awesome about you and focus on that,” she suggests. “If your mindset is on the positive, great things will come!”

Davis’s advice not only sounds like a page straight from our recent Guide to Being Irresistible — Even to Yourself, but it makes good sense, too. If the essence of flirtation is about making fun, lighthearted connections with another person so that they want to learn more about you, it helps to buy into the package you’re selling. Some of us are born with that innate feeling of fearlessness, while others just have to keep working at it. Sitting in a corner listening to an inner soundtrack that’s stuck on “I suck and have nothing clever to say” won’t encourage anyone to chat you up. Change the track, already, and fake it ’til you make it.

Great first impressions require preparation at any size

Once you’re feeling irresistible (or are headed in the right direction), the next step is ensuring your first impression backs that up. Basic attention to your appearance goes a long way toward making you appear approachable and helping maintain your own confidence levels, so don’t underestimate how far a flattering hairstyle, manicured nails, standing up straight or wearing clothes that are flattering, age- and situation-appropriate will take you.

Although our self-sabotaging voice of doubt sometimes makes us feel invisible because of our weight, Greene points out that we sometimes make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. “If you’re dressed sloppily, like you don’t care,” she says, “is someone not interested because you’re overweight or because you don’t care about what you’re wearing?”

If you don’t know where to begin, she suggests getting advice from a close and/or male friend or taking someone shopping with you. “A lot of time we don’t see ourselves as other people see us. Take some pictures — what you see in photos is often different from what you see in the mirror,” which can help you appreciate yourself in a way that’s hard to do in the face of three-way mirrors and fluorescent lighting.

Set the stage for flirting success

Greene is adamant about the next rule: A good flirt never leaves home without a ‘prop.’ “For someone who struggles with weight or self confidence, props are natural conversation starters,” she explains. While the idea of luring someone into a dialogue based on a material object may seem like a bit of a cheat, Greene points out that girls who choose their props wisely (i.e. something that reflects their interests, passions or hobbies) will find their personalities shining through and potentially have more substantive conversations.

So what makes a good prop? Anything that gets you noticed, says Greene: unusual jewelry, a piece of clothing that references a passion or hobby, a book or newspaper, your dog, your kids, a tote bag, your dog and kids inside the tote bag . . . you get the idea.

Flirting is really about connecting

Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by thinking of flirting as a daunting or elusive skill — it’s really just a simple series of events that make and maintain connections. To begin engaging someone, you’ll need to establish meaningful eye contact. Greene recommends holding the glance slightly longer than feels necessary (about 2-4 seconds) but not long enough to become a stare. And no, throwing in a wink does not make you cheesy or cliché.

“You have to start a conversation to make it happen, not wait for someone to come to you. The best opening line is very simple — just say ‘hello.’” Talk about your surroundings, give a compliment or state an opinion. The bottom line, Greene says, is to ” just get your mouth moving.”

A smile is also key here — as necessary to flirting as air is to breathing, according to Greene — because it makes you much more approachable. You don’t need to go through the day with a creepy, Cheshire Cat grin plastered on your face, but most people avoid engaging in witty banter with a person who looks like her dog just died. Successful flirts come across as playful and lighthearted, and they display a bit of vulnerability.

“Show that you’re real and human,” Greene emphasizes. You can even poke fun at yourself, so long as you follow Toni’s advice from a recent post and joke about your actions, not your essence. That’s just what one of Greene’s clients did after living out the nightmare scenario of accidentally tucking toilet paper into the back of her dress and being laughed at. Rather than skulk and hide, the woman walked up to the guy whose pointing had made her aware of the faux pas and said, “‘I want to thank you so much for saving me from embarrassment. My name is _____.”

Everyone loves a compliment

Something to remember about flirting: It’s not just about you. “The goal is to make someone else feel good, not just talk about yourself,” Greene says. To that extent, one of her tried-and-true suggestions for launching a flirtation is to give someone a compliment. Obviously, for best results you’ll want to keep your compliments honest and sincere. But Greene also suggests varying things a bit beyond commenting on someone’s shirt or eye color.

If you’re wearing something new or you always get compliments on your smile, having a stranger comment on these things will feel good but might not be as memorable as a compliment that comes out of left field. According to Greene, commenting on someone’s pleasant speaking voice, the patience they show with their kids, or even the way they organize their supermarket cart can not only be an ice-breaker but something that sets you apart.

Sound crazy? Think back to the compliments you’ve received recently, or over your lifetime. Which ones stand out in your mind? For me, the things people compliment are pretty reliable (my writing, for example). I love these compliments; I cherish them, and they warm me each time I hear them. But twenty years later, I still remember the name of the boy who told me in ninth grade that my nose was cute — and that it happened at the bowling alley. Things that are genuine but unexpected stay with us for a reason.

Take flirtation beyond “hello”

Once you’ve established a connection, keep the exchange going by practicing active listening. Lean slightly toward the person speaking, or touch him lightly on the arm. If you’ve never tried the simple touch on the arm, you may be amazed by how well this works.

Greene also suggests changing your behavior from the role of “guest” (someone who waits for others to take the lead) to the role of “host” (one who gets noticed by making things just a bit easier for others). This shift is important because it pries you out of being passive and waiting for something to happen.

How does this work in a real-world scenario? Offer a vacant seat at your table to the person scanning the crowded coffee shop for an open table. (The flip side of this might be to make eye contact and ask a passing customer if he’ll bring you cream and sugar so you don’t have to leave your laptop sitting unattended.) At a party or social function, offer to bring back food or a drink if you’re headed to the bar. Remember: Flirting is far less complicated if you break it down into a series of actions that foster connection.

Re-purposing a rejection

No matter how positive your attitude or how skilled your approach, there are bound to be encounters that don’t go as you’d hoped. If someone isn’t interested or doesn’t respond to a flirtation in kind, it can feel very personal — like a judgment or a confirmation of your deepest fears. In these moments, it’s critical not to let one person’s disinterest rule you.

“It’s so easy to go to the worst possible place,” Greene says, “telling yourself ‘If I were only 50 pounds lighter, if I had the perfect weight or body, he’d probably like me.’ We make it about us, but we don’t take into account the other person’s issues. We never know the real reason.”

While there will always be scenarios that are less than perfect, Greene says the key is to mentally re-frame a rejection by seeing it as an opportunity. Mentally and symbolically (read: not out loud), “Tell that person ‘thank you — you’ve done me a really big favor by being honest and not causing me to waste time I could be spending on more positive experiences.’ And then let it go.” Not every two people are destined (or suited) to be together.

Davis of eFlirt Expert agrees. “Online and offline, there is dating ‘riff-raff’ — the guys who will focus on the negative and possibly try to rile you up,” she says. “Ignore the nay-sayers to keep your sanity. If you had a negative experience, he wasn’t right for you anyway.”

Plus-size flirting online

Speaking of who you might find online . . . More people are meeting via personals and other online groups, forums and social media networks these days than ever before, so improving your virtual communication chops is never a bad idea.

“Catch his attention by finding him,” recommends Davis. “Search for your perfect match and write him an awesome e-mail. Play up your strengths — for example, if you’re witty, make sure your headline is snappy.”

When writing your own online profile, steer clear of tired and vague phrases such as “I love to laugh and have fun.” Instead, use the space to make your unique combination of quirks and passions come to life: “I rely on my daily Jon Stewart fix only slightly less than my morning latte or weekly Drag Queen Bingo nights with friends.” “Letting your personality shine through . . . . will get you the best kind of attention,” Davis emphasizes.

Online or off, flirting takes practice and finding an approach and a voice that feels natural to you. For me, the challenge is all about timing; in a situation where I’m comfortable and conversation is established, it’s tempting to over-flirt. Perhaps one day I’ll muster the same type of chutzpah with strangers. In the meantime, I’ll be the freckled chick devouring historical fiction on the El, wondering if today’s the day a fellow Tudor England nerd comments on my prop — er, read.

Tell us, readers: How do you break the ice? What’s your favorite flirting anecdote — or what fears are still holding you back?

Try something that looks fun but makes you nervous. We dare you.
(image by Lori Greig)

This summer, I tried something that terrified me. And I loved it.

Something about surrendering my body to a dark, narrow tube, hurtling downward through twists and turns, only to be unceremoniously ejected and swiftly deposited into the chilly water below freaked me out. Go figure. “I’ll stick to the slower slide, thankyouverymuch,” became my mantra. But my desire for comfort made me uncomfortable; what was I modeling to my kids about trying new things, what would the 18-year-old me have done, and was I missing out on something I’d probably find thrilling? Knowing my battle with desire vs. hesitancy, my husband kept nudging me to try it, then the kids joined in (“If I can do it, you can, Mom!”). I climbed the two flights of stairs to the platform, waved to my family far below, then took a deep breath and pushed off into the darkness.

Was it scary? Yep. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I spent the rest of the afternoon hurrying up the stairs to hit that slide again and again. Nobody pointed and laughed at the big mama behaving like a kid; if anything, I think my joy was infectious. Maybe some other women watching were inspired. Or maybe nobody cared at all and my worries over what others might think were unfounded. (Nobody even noticed me surreptitiously correcting my massive, post-splashdown water wedgie.)

The comfort zone for us bigger girls (remaining indoors with the AC blasting, telling ourselves we can’t do certain activities or wear certain things) can start out as a sacred space where firm boundaries are drawn. But as that zone expands, it can also become an overstuffed cushion ready to absorb our every excuse, the well-worn collection of stories we tell ourselves, like “fat girls can’t ride a horse,” stories that hold us back from really living our lives to the fullest. Think back to the last time you successfully pushed beyond your comfort zone (tango lessons? speed dating? aqua aerobics?) and came out the other side perfectly okay. Sure, there may have been missteps or embarrassing moments, but you lived to tell the tale, right? This guide to summer fun offers suggestions for getting out and trying something new, and we encourage you to come back and tell us how your new experiences went – stumbles, triumphs, wedgies, and all.

Hiking–which is essentially walking in a more rugged, natural setting–is a great activity because it can be as easy or as challenging as you decide to make it and it’s a great beginner’s adventure. Our two-part guide to hot weather hiking (Part 1 here and Part 2 here), plus our guide to hiking in challenging conditions like sand dunes or muddy areas are great starting points. I know heat and humidity, combined with the need to expose more skin, can feel like insurmountable hurdles here. Look for plus-sized workout wear, carry plenty of water, expect to sweat (it’s okay; really!) and start small at first if you’re nervous–many city parks offer plenty of green space for beginners to test their trail legs, and plenty of park and recreation districts offer guided hikes geared toward beginners.

Speaking of city parks, I’ve been taking advantage of our sizable park to ride my bike either early in the morning or after dinner, when the sunlight isn’t as unforgiving (either way, I still wear sweatproof sunscreen). Our guide to cycling, mad love for cruiser bikes and tips on finding plus-size padded bike shorts are helpful starting points if you’ve been itching to travel on two wheels but not sure where to start. If you’re worried about deflating the tires on your bike, we’ve tackled this issue, too (you won’t).

If getting on the water is on your life list, our guides to kayaking, canoeing and surfing should prove tempting. Or maybe taking a cruise is more your speed; you can be as chill and comfortable as you wish, or you can embark on new adventures on board (rock climbing walls, dance lessons) or off (rainforest zipline tours, island exploration). Of course, if you’ve read the FGG About page, you know my suggestion will be to opt for at least one adventure. Perhaps being in the water is your goal but you’ve been avoiding swimsuit shopping; you’ll want to consult our guide to figure-flattering swimwear and best places to find a plus-sized sarong to wrap around your suit, and we recently helped a reader with some ideas on attending a poolside bachelorette party in Vegas (we also have some insights into the daunting prospect of socializing in swimwear).

I know we cover a lot of active ground here at FGG, but I also understand that rest and relaxation are an integral part of enjoying the summer season. I suggest striking a balance between stepping outside of your usual routine and rewarding yourself for doing so. Perhaps a girlfriend getaway is in order (you are TOO worth it!), or it’s time to finally find a hammock that feels comfy and supportive while you swing lazily reading some great fiction featuring plus-sized protagonists. Just remember: too much comfort can be as detrimental to mind, body, and spirit as too much stress. Use the rest of these summer days to push yourself a little bit and try something you think would be fun.

We’ve packed a ton of summer fun into this guide, but we’re always eager to hear your suggestions for guides to activities you’ve been longing to try but aren’t sure where to begin – share your “life list” ideas in comments.

Squeeze every bit of fun into your amusement park trip (Great America photo booth ca. 1998)

Until I was 14, I was terrified of roller coasters.

Per longstanding tradition, our 8th grade class trip took place at Sandusky, OH-based Cedar Point. It was 1990 and the Magnum had just debuted. The sleek, orange monster boasted a 204-foot plunge at an angle of 60 degrees. Obviously, it was the only thing anyone cared about riding . . . with one very notable exception. While my friends racked up run after run on the coaster, I held people’s bags, wandered off with a random girl from my class to get lunch, and rode less stomach-turning attractions like the Scrambler and the Swings.

The kicker is that I wasn’t even fat back then. Certainly I weighed more than most of the girls in my class (and those extra 20 pounds may as well have been 200 in my mind). But what kept me off the Magnum wasn’t weight — it was just plain old fear. The following spring, goaded by my friends to the point of capitulation, I boarded the orange nemesis and screamed my head off during the famous drop . . . and I absolutely loved it. After that, some kind of adrenaline switch flipped inside of me and there wasn’t a ride in any park I wouldn’t try.

Viewing the photo at the top of this post — college friends all crammed into one of the photo booths that line the midway of every good theme park — actually makes me sad, because that was my last trip to coaster-ville. One thing or another has derailed every planned trip for more than a decade, until I’ve found myself asking the proverbial fat girl question: “Am I too fat for the rides?” This question is followed by its slightly less painful siblings, “Can I do all that walking?” and “Girl, don’t you remember how badly water-ride-soaked pants can chafe?”

For every overweight girl who’s asked herself the same questions, let’s see what we can figure out . . .

Plus-size amusement ride restriction policies

Given the highly publicized incident at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, where park staff turned away overweight patrons from one ride, theme park ride passenger size has garnered more attention than usual lately. And the very blunt truth is that for overweight patrons, it makes sense to review the park’s guidelines and ride restrictions before buying tickets or — worse — getting to the front of the hour-long Superman: Ultimate Flight queue and being turned away. Beyond just a weight restriction, many rides — certainly more than I remember! — now carry size restrictions based on the restraint harness or bars that hold passengers in place. Ultimately, the park needs to ensure the safety of all riders. So what’s the best way to inform yourself before your next visit?

Most parks provide at least some information on their Web sites regarding ride restrictions, although the verbiage is often vague or focused around minimum rider height. Cedar Point has gone the total transparency route by publicizing policies for passengers of “exceptional size” (including women weighing more than 200 pounds, or individuals taller than 6’2), as well as how the guidelines affect prospective riders on individual attractions.

To give real-world context to the online information, you can review other park-goers’ experiences on boards like Theme Park Insider, Coaster Critic and Theme Park Review. And overweight lifestyle blog GrandStyle offers an impressive round-up of ride logistics and plus-size park patron experiences from around the country.

Some parks have opted to take the proactive approach one step further by placing actual-size “test seats” along the queue lines for various attractions. Theoretically, this measure allows passengers whose size might not be compatible with the ride to self select out of the line, saving embarrassment for both passenger and park employee when it’s time to board.

And yet, it’s not as though the 19-year-old ride attendant is standing there with a scale or a measuring tape to disprove your ride eligibility. On my last visit to Six Flags Great America, I rode every single coaster and thrill ride in the park without issue. I weighed 240 pounds. Some of the harnesses were on their last click, perhaps, and my hips have never wanted to fit neatly into any ride seat. Despite these logistics, the only true moment of discomfort was while straddling the seat portion of a standing coaster, something my ridiculously short legs were never meant to do. As with the two-seat policy employed by many airlines, enforcement seems to be hit-and-miss, and patrons are left to the honor system to gauge their own ride eligibility, unless questioned by an attendant. Would I still have boarded the Wave Swinger, had I known about its 230-pound weight limit? Probably. Would I recommend the same action to a friend? Good question.

Finding theme park excitement at any size

Whether you’re coaster-phobic, skeptical about size restrictions, or just not a fan of motion sickness, there are still plenty of ways to enjoy yourself at a theme park if you’re not crazy about the rides. We’ve already established that photo booths are one of my favorite things on earth, but the midway is packed with other beckoning diversions. Duck out of the hot sun and into a theater for a show. Issue an epic skee-ball throwdown in the arcade. Channel your inner hussy and pose for some old-time photos in western barroom garb. Challenge your kids to some no-holds-barred bumper cars. Or be the people screeching off-key Spice Girls songs in the recording booth as onlookers shake their heads. (As someone who has witnessed a friend’s park-recorded “Kokomo” video from 1989, I cannot emphasize strongly enough the potential for hilarity here.)

The upshot is that there’s plenty to do, even if you’re feeling like the tag-along to friends (or kids) who are much more excited about thrill rides than you are. Coasters get the glory, but they’re just the tip of the amusement park iceberg.

Managing dietary restrictions at the park

When it comes to theme park meals and snacks, these days you can go as healthy or as indulgent as you choose. While the traditional midway fare (hot dogs, nachos, ice cream, fries, you know the drill) still holds court in parks nationwide, there’s a strong push to bring healthier, more wholesome choices into the mix — and to make options like water and fresh fruit accessible. When possible, check out the park restaurants online before visiting, so you know which area of the grounds will be the best bet for your ideal meal. Or, fill some lunch box coolers with your favorite munchies and eat your meals picnic-style (check the website of your park to make sure outside food and drink are permitted).

Remember that you’ll pay excessive park prices for everything from Diet Coke to a simple chicken sandwich. Combine that fact with the importance of staying hydrated, and it’s clear that a refillable water bottle is a must-have. Instead of dropping $3 every few hours, you’ll stay cool and flush by simply cruising past a drinking fountain.

Dressing for all-day comfort at the park

Let’s start with the obvious: You’ll be covering a lot of ground during your theme park adventure, so wear shoes that fit and provide long-lasting support. This isn’t the time to break in a cute pair of sandals, ladies; you’ll be hobbled with blisters before lunch. Beyond the comfy shoes approach, pack an extra pair of socks (two, and an extra pair of shoes if you plan to hit the water rides) for later in the day. You can always stash a bag with your extra gear in a rental locker.

When it comes to clothing, the two most important factors are weather and water. Protect yourself from all-day sun exposure with a water-proof, sweat-proof sunblock; don’t forget to apply even to your hair part if you don’t plan to wear a hat. And if you’re lulled by the water rides, either choose clothing that dries easily or pack an extra set for after the splashing good times. (Seriously, denim weighs about 10 times more when it’s wet.) A hot, sweaty day at the theme park is bound to bring out the chafing, so have your favorite remedy in place.

Theme parks can be a great place to face your fears (of heights. . . of crowds. . . of food on a stick. . .) if you let yourself give in and enjoy wherever the day takes you. At the end of the day, when your feet are sore and your throat is raw from screaming (either on a coaster or at the sugar-buzzed kids), hopefully the park experience will have been one to remember — even if you hope your own photographic evidence never surfaces on a blog a dozen years later.

Have you been to an amusement park recently? Tell us how you made it a fabulous experience — or what you’d do differently next time.

The mission: To blend in here (image by YoTut)

One of the best parts of receiving FGG reader mail is that it gives us a glimpse into how diverse your lives and interests are. In recent weeks, we’ve fielded questions on everything from cycling to sundresses to tennis clothes. And this week it’s all about Vegas, baby!

I have a bachelorette party coming up for my good friend, and it is going to be at Wet Republic at MGM Grand in Las Vegas. I have nothing but thinner friends who can walk around in bikinis and heels . . . . I’m a size 16 and I can’t seem to find a suit and a cover-up that makes me feel sexy like my friends look in their bikinis. Any tips on where to shop? I want to look stylish and be comfortable in a [swim]suit in a public place like that.

Before launching into shopping suggestions, let’s take a moment to acknowledge your decision to attend the bachelorette party with your friends, despite the concerns you’re having. Publicly wearing a swimsuit as an overweight woman can be enough of a mental challenge even before factoring in the club vibe of Wet Republic. Your decision not to let your weight dictate whether you attend, but rather to seek a way to rock your own killer curves at the celebration is what FGG is all about. Good for you, girl!

Sexy full-figured swimwear

Now the fun part: shopping! If you haven’t already read through our recent Guide to Figure-Flattering Swimwear, it’s a great place to begin getting ideas for fun, trendy swimwear in plus sizes (including some sexy swim dress looks). We also recently answered another reader’s question about plus-size sarongs.

Both posts offer a mixed bag of finds, both practical and sexy. With your specific goal of blending into bikini-land in mind, what about a one-shoulder design from Monif C.? The single-shoulder look is hot this season, and the suit still provides plenty of coverage, as well as the option to show more or less leg, depending on your mood. (For more secure bust support, you can add the optional second shoulder strap.)

For a bikini-like feel with more stomach coverage, check out the plus-size offerings from Bikini Sunshine. Their two-piece suits are ordered as separates, so you can mix and match for the best size combination of top (cup sizes A/B through DDD) and bottom (sizes up to 18). We were drawn to both the black matte and purple babydoll tankini styles, in particular.

FGG editorial also admits to an ongoing love affair with the suits from Pinup Girl Clothing. Several of their styles come in plus sizes (up to size 20) and they’re bold, colorful and sexy in ways that celebrate the curves not all bikini bods can boast. Frankly, should you opt for the new vintage-inspired sheath suit (in red, black or gold), it wouldn’t shock us if your bikini-clad friends envied you.

Choosing a stylish cover-up to match

The cover-up you reach for will likely depend on the cut of your suit, but there’s just enough flounce and movement in this bandeau, waterfall-style design (sizes 1X-3X, Always For Me) to help you feel sexy without being over-exposed. If that’s not your style, the same site offers plenty of other options, including flirty skirts with tummy control (1X-3X) to babydoll dresses in multiple colors (2X-3X). Or, you could go for sexy and simple by pairing a georgette sarong (1X-2X, Swimsuits Just For Us) with the Rio De Janeiro Twist Bandeau suit from Always For Me. Available in four colors and sizes ranging from 16W-26W, this gorgeous, curve-hugging suit is just begging for a trip to Vegas.

Whatever look you choose, be sure to read Peony’s thoughts on swimsuit socializing before hitting the pool, and remember that confidence is the sexiest accessory of all. Have fun and keep us posted!

Ladies: What fat-girl phobias have you conquered so far this summer? Tell us about the activity or social gathering you braved — or suggest another great pool-party fashion for this reader.